"I don't think you should get rid of all this. You're gonna miss it someday."
- arabella, chapter one, prologue
- - -
My eyes grow ten times bigger, as if grabbing in more of my environment will unveil a lie before me and not the truth that I'm hearing.
"There's no way," I let out.
He was there on that night? He knew why I moved away? He knew what caused the division of your friend group?
He knew all that and he's done nothing.
Suddenly, I'm tackling Armin into the bed and shoving his form with immense force.
"You fucking knew this entire time and you didn't say shit to anyone!" I scream at him. "How vile are you? You're almost as bad as he is. You played along the entire time and now want to talk to me about being the better person?!"
"I know, Ara, I'm sorry," he frantically chokes out, hands over his face. "I-I couldn't say anything on my own because Eren found me after. I was trying to slip away after you left but he brought a girl in. Once he saw me leaving the room, he realized I had heard it all. Because of his money, he threatened to run out my parent's business in the bakery and sell it off to an enterprise. I couldn't let my family run out of all the hard work they had put in, so I was stuck with no one to help me," he cries out.
I loosen my grip, severe hatred coursing through my veins at the thought of Eren controlling even Armin's livelihood.
Relaxing, we move back to sitting cross legged on the bed, but I can tell Armin is still jumpy and afraid from my outburst.
I let out a huff. "Fine, Armin. I'll help you. But how the hell are we going to change anything?"
"I'm glad you asked Ara," he exchanges a concerned smile, "I've had a lot of time to think about this. I want him to be played in the way he's played others so many times."
I give a nod and wipe my hands across my thighs. "So you want me to fuck him and leave him? I can do that tonight."
"No," Armin states with awkward aggression, "If you do that, he'll just repeat the pattern of apathy for other people. Even if you're dominant, he'll still think he has the upper hand. It's important that you don't fuck him whatsoever."
"Then what the hell are we going to do?" I repeat in dismay.
"We're going to make him endure something he's never been through before. We're going to make him fall in love, with you."
I'm already wary of this. I was in love once, with Eren to be exact, and look where it got me. Now, I can't imagine myself showcasing the attributes that would make someone actually fall head over heels in love for me.
"How exactly, Armin? He has a heart of stone, what if love only makes him worse?" I ask.
"Growing up with Eren, I've been able to see how he reacts in situations. From what I've gathered, falling in love to receive nothing in return will break him, shut him down in a way that he deserves. As for how we'll do this, that's where you'll be the key."
Armin continues on his plan, "I need you to keep being yourself. Actually, no. I need you to lean into your dominance like you never have before. That's strikes you as competition to Eren. And whether he likes it or not, Eren is unintentionally drawn to competition. It's a unfulfilling desire within his heart that he has to put those around him in the dust for him to have pride in who he is. It's like he has this internal radar for threats to his ego."
Armin's words reign true in my mind, but I'm still hopeless at the ability for heartbreak to make Eren a better person, I'd suspect he'd become worse. Nevertheless, I continue listening.
"The more you establish authority," Armin extrapolates, "The more Eren will put himself in situations to get close to you. In the beginning, he'll do it to find a major flaw he can manipulate, a way for him to get control. So long as you maintain your ground, he'll start spending so much time getting to know you that he'll fall in love purely because your qualities mimic his own. It's the sick, twisted mind of a prideful bastard, but one we can manipulate."
Now that makes sense to me. Eren's ego is so evident, it's almost as if I can watch it grow right before my eyes. I'm not stuck up enough to argue against the qualities I share with Eren, it's visible to anyone that we hold a few of the same. However, I've never thought of exploiting it in this way.
He continues on with the rest of his scheme. "You'll need to maintain a good emotional distance a part from him, but make him believe you care. Make him believe you're falling in the same way. Consider it an act, if you will. Once he confesses, which shouldn't take longer than several months time, you'll unveil that you never truly cared for him. That this was manipulation from the start."
Armin's smile spans wide at his last word, the cogs in his mind working through more of the plan that he has yet to show me. All in all, it sounds solid enough to give us a good goal, the difficult part will be masking the ruse to diverge suspicion.
"Alright," I reply with a deep breath, "But isn't Eren gonna notice if I'm suddenly all buddy-buddy around him? I mean, this plan does involve me talking with him, does it not?"
Armin flashes his devilish grin to my eyes. "You underestimate me dearly, Ara."
I bite my tongue back from inserting a spiteful quip at his dissonance and listen to what he has to say.
"Meet me at the café on Saturday at 8PM, I'll tell Eren and Mikasa we have to study because we're chemistry lab partners, but I'll explain more of this plan in detail," he finishes.
"How long's this gonna take?" I ask, "I start a shift at 9PM."
"Then let's make it 7," he adjusts himself so his legs swing off the bed, now rising to his full height and bearing me a glance over his shoulder. "As for right now, you'll go chat with Eren. Considering we're in his safe place, he should be in the kitchen trying to regain his footing."
He walks into Eren's bathroom and glides a hand across the marble counter, focusing on himself in the mirror as he works through his blonde locks. Armin stares back at me through the reflection before saying with a wink, "Take it as a trial run, as you like it."
His final words come out like a script of a movie and he recognizes it, turning to the mirror to quote from the Shakespearean comedy, "All the world's a stage, Ara. And all the men and women are merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. It's up to you to break a leg," he glares back at me, "or a heart."
Arlert's presence is chilling. Enough to mimic spiders crawling up my spine. His determination is rooted far more in just spite, but that is his game to play.
Pouting slightly at the thought of having to condition myself to being around Eren's sickening attitude for months on end, I roll my eyes and shuffle off the bed.
"One thing," I add, pulling Armin's attention. "If I do this, you have to stop putting up that shy act. If this is who you really are, then phase it in. The Armin I spoke to earlier this evening is annoying as fuck."
He nods his head, debating my words. "Seems fair enough," he replies. "Now go and don't disappoint me."
His last statement makes me feel uncomfortable inside. When I rise though, my spiteful energy is returned with enthusiasm, painted by the image of a distressed Eren in my mind.
It's as if I can almost see his future self, kneeling on the floor and face a disgusting mess filled with tears and puffy, red cheeks. The thrill of his defeat adds a pep in my movement as I swing open the door, opening myself back up to the heavy stench of crazed partygoers.
Bobbing up and down the stairs, I carefully trail my way through the groups of drunken crowds into the kitchen. Sure enough, there he stands.
Eren's elbows are propped slightly on the counter as he leans forward, his body weight supported by thick, lean muscles that bulge in his shirtless form, thanks to the pool escapade. The tanned skin of his neck is pulled taut and elevated slightly with each breath he takes. Having spent a few hours in this environment, he's built up enough sweat to make his skin glisten and a few baby hairs sink to the side of his jaw. Dark hair wrapped in a loose man-bun, the various silver piercings shine through the mess as his teal eyes remain still on the glass patio doors to the world outside.
With black-painted nails, his hand tightly grips a vape that he slowly draws up to his pink, pouty lips to inhale and release a gust of dwindling smoke. His mouth tightens and relaxes with the release, sharpness of his bone still protruding through. That seems like a good first target.
Seeing as I haven't caught his attention yet, I waltz up and latch my thin palm onto his warm wrist.
"So," I drawl, snatching the icy blue disposable and spinning it between my fingers, "You're just really wanting to play seventh grade today, aren't you?" I bring the plastic to my lips and inhale deeply, puffing out a heavy cloud of white smoke directly in Eren's face as I lean over the opposing side of the counter.
He rapidly swipes away at the smoke, ring-clad fingers sifting through the air between us to reveal a deadly glare behind the mist. His displeased stance causes an amused smirk to make its home on my face, proud of how easily I toy with his emotions.
"I do more than this," he snags the vape back violently and sticks it in his back pocket.
His childish reaction makes me all the more happy. "Yeah, yeah," I wave off and begin to play the same card he'd been using on me all night: disbelief. "Sure you do," I roll my eyes, claiming him to be the innocent, the naive in this situation.
I hear a huff before he begins. "I see you're getting passed around more than the drinks tonight," he states bitterly, expecting to get a rise out of me while also at a surrender to my prior claim.
"And what's it to you?" I ask, shrugging my shoulders as I lean in closer and snatch a few lollipops from a bowl in front of him, "I'm sure you're quite the same as well. It's more fun this way, is it not?"
His eyes are caught in my own, racing up and across my lips. He soaks in my every feature as we stand in a tense draw.
"You should look at me like that more often," I say, almost vomiting as the words come out. If I were to go along with Armin, I'd need to mimic Eren's confidence, to say the words I'd normally say if the devil weren't directly in front of me.
Eren keeps his level-headed demeanour for once. A thin-lipped expression laced with boredom helps deliver his next words. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he flirts.
"I never said I wouldn't."
"Well of course, because it's from me. The one person you're still obsessed with after all this time," he loathes as he pushes himself off the counter, crossing his arms and leaning back against the fridge. He exudes pornographic confidence that shifts my vision into a red rage in a matter of seconds.
"You think I care about you? Cute," I mock, fiddling lightly with the hem of my shorts.
Eren is quick to catch on my falter, standing tall and coming back to lean over me. His necklaces dangle down in the space between us as he goes to grab my chin. I move out of the way on impulse, leaving his hand in the middle and a lewd smirk on his face.
"This Bella is way more interesting than the old one," he coos lowly, meeting me with half-lidded eyes. "I'd actually fuck this one."
I roughly hit his hand away, holding onto his wrist. "You're disgusting."
"And you're finally interesting," he boasts, "I hurt you for your own good back then. You had no character. Something needed to build it up."
He pauses to lend a long glance up and down my figure with his piercing teal eyes, "Looks like it worked."
My grip around his wrist tightens, the corner of his eye twitching at the pain. "This," I gesture with a nod of my head, "Has nothing to do with you."
Letting go of his hand fiercely, I leave with his mocking laugh behind me and exit to the backyard. The cool air floods all of my senses, restoring the balance between my hot anger. Armin, I'm not sure I'll be able to make it longer than a week on this plan.
Leisurely, I take my time walking over to the edge of the pool where the party seems less rowdy. Reiner and Bertholdt are off by the lazy river laughing as they scroll through something on their phones. Connie is standing on top of the outdoor bar yelling some Pitbull song word-for-word at the top of his lungs. Sasha is directly behind him, helping herself to all the drink garnishes and using them as snacks while Jean takes a shot with Marco. Ymir and Historia swing together in a hammock, pointing up at the stars.
I love being able to take all this in from afar. To understand how people react in various environments, to know what comfort traits they rely on and how it compares to others. It hurts my heart to see Mikasa on her own picking up Eren's flannel from aside the pool and wringing it out. But as quickly as that compassion comes, it fades with the memory of her ridiculing my character.
The character that existed once within this very home.
As I lean down and dip my legs into the water, I'm abruptly reminded of what it was like to have lived a life in oblivious joy, to have cared for everything around me. At that time my biggest worries were detention with Sasha or wondering if Eren would text me personally instead of using the group chat. It hurts my heart to know those problems would now be my biggest reliefs.
"Seat taken?" a familiar voice chimes in.
Crystal eyes hidden behind now-unruly bangs capture my attention.
"I'm not one for eve more after-sex talk, but sure," I say, turning my gaze forward.
With a gentle huff, Armin seats himself down next to me having already rolled up his jeans. I guess he had anticipated I'd say yes right away.
"How was the first conversation of the plan?" he inquires.
I scoff. "Like hell."
Armin let's out a sweet, empathetic laugh which lets me know he'd been through many of these conversations before. "I promise it'll get better, just hell for a little bit and then he'll be wrapped around your finger."
My eyes dance around the atmosphere, noticing how pristine the area is. Between the lazy river, pool, mini bar and more, it feels like this escape belongs at a resort instead of in a small town.
There is however one thing that sticks out like a sore thumb. It could almost be described as an eyesore in comparison to the whole back yard paradise.
On the very right corner, backing against the fence was the run-down shed where Grisha and Eren used to work on projects together, much like the shelving system in his room. Before I had left, the shed practically looked like another house in the backyard, always clean and inviting.
Now, the paint had chipped away and left behind worn down wood panelling. Cobwebs could be seen through the dusty windows. A large, thick silver chain locked up the double doors with a gold padlock keeping it shut.
"What happened to that disaster?" I ask Armin as I point. "Why didn't Eren just get rid of it if he hates everything that reminds him of his family?"
He lets out a deep sigh. "I'm honestly not sure why he kept it, but I do know that it's where Eren put all his boxes."
"Boxes?" I ask. There's no way it would've been the ones we fought over the night I left. The last thing he would've done at that point was listen to anything I had said.
"Yeah, it happened right after you left," Armin confirms. It takes everything out of me not to let my jaw drop. "Just kinda happened out of nowhere. We came to help him take everything to the dump, but he had already stored it all in the shed. And it wasn't just the boxes, but everything his parents left behind. Didn't let us ask any questions, but I do know that the key he always wears around his neck unlocks it."
Instead of replying, I let the silence speak for itself. With the party chatter as ambience, the only sound left to percolate in our patience is the soft swishing of our legs in the water.
"So," Armin sighs. I knew there had to be more from him. "News got around about your family," he poses in more of a questioning tone than a statement.
"Yeah. Great way to finish off the week," I chuckle.
"I'm really sorry about it Ara," Armin repeats like a script, "Your family meant a lot to us, and your brothers were so young too, weren't they? Wasn't it Asher who was just starting high school?"
"Oliver actually," I correct, "Most people tend to mix them up. But they were only 15 and 10."
"That's horrible," Armin states, expecting for me to elaborate. I thought people would understand by now that this is the last subject someone would ever want to talk about.
"I find it strange though," Armin continues in my silence, "How we're only finding out about the tragedy now. It did happen more than a year ago, right?"
The world takes on an eerie coating. I nod to his question.
"Huh," Armin asks, faking confusion. "Paradis is such a small town and Marley isn't too far from it. There's so little news here that the most we have is a monthly newsletter and one radio station, the rest comes from the big city, Marley. So it's weird to me that a tragedy at this scale wasn't even broadcasted in Paradis. It should've at least been announced to the Marleyan public I think."
He turns to me slowly, giving narrow eyes as my heartbeat becomes erratic. "And to top it off, the rumours in our school came from Floch, whose mother is a nurse at the hospital. Apparently they all found out the day we did. Don't you think it's strange that the hospital didn't even have record of it?"
I'd thought these questions over in my mind over and over, but now being fully confronted, it is worse than entering a horror film.
Out of everything, all it does make me even more frustrated. The fact that Armin is bringing this up purely to gain information and pinpoint an error in my humanity, I begin to loathe him.
"God, Armin. Will you just shut the fuck up?" I seethe back. "For your information, I was the first one on the scene. The officers who helped me escorted me into their quarters for debriefing and asked me if I'd like to keep the case just within the judicial system. Because of my age and heartbreak, they made an extra effort to protect me and my lost family from the media, seeing as I had no one to be there for me any more. The only word that got out was through the grapevine in my school as my parents got removed from my file. Teacher's kids talk, but that's the furthest it went."
Satisfied with my rant and the humiliated look on his face, I rise up immediately and wipe the running water off my legs.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I've had enough." I point to the fence. "Is the lake still available to use?"
"Y-yeah," Armin quivers, "But we don't go there any more because Eren wanted us all to stop after his parents passed. Reminds him too much of their adventures."
"Well, does it look like I'm in a mood to give a shit?" I roughly grab Armin's shoulder back and whisper into his ear. "And as a side note, you have awful game. It's no wonder Annie won't fuck someone like you," I gesture to where she sits, now beside Bertholdt. "She's probably thinking about his arms wrapped around her body right now, not even sparing a glance your way."
Shoving Armin's shoulder lightly but enough to take in his horrified glance, I step proudly from the back of the pool and begin making my way to the fence encasing the world outside. Once I make my way past the threshold of bustling bodies, I notice that the last fourteen feet to the back of the fence seems to be empty. It's as if everyone knew of this invisible barrier, which they most likely did.
As soon as I make my way to the small void, I begin capturing stares from the partygoers, feeling their eyes take hold of my every movement.
"The hell are you doing?" An exasperated, worry-filled voice yelps from behind me. I turn my head over my shoulder to glance upon a panting Connie attempting to save me from my own actions. With him are Sasha and Mikasa, oddly enough, both showcasing their own expressions of anxiety. Sasha's eyes are full moons and her nails find their home between her teeth while Mikasa's steel iris' dart between myself and the mansion inside.
Once I catch enough of the scene behind me, I keep advancing. Budging my boot between the crevice of two posts, I begin to hoist my body up. Before I throw the rest of my body over, I make sure to flash a smile to the small crowd behind me, answering Connie's question. "Taking a swim in the lake, care to join?"
My heavy boots sink deep into the thick, rust-coloured sand. The body of water before me is serene, calm waves trudging their way into the shore only to be enveloped by another. Even though the noise of the party still persists, it feels quiet. It feels like its own separate world. One where I can take a breath. One where I can have peac–
"Fuck!" The voices of Sasha and Connie screech together as a thumping crash meets the sand, their bodies entangled awkwardly as they barrel down the shore.
"I told you both to wait and Marco and I would help you up!" Jean's husky voice yells from the top of the fence as I hear the accompaniment of a few more landing strikes.
"You were taking too long!" Sasha screams back, finally freeing herself from Connie and taking a look at the scene before her. I take steps forward, joining at her side.
"We were four steps behind you little shits!" He jeers, the last of his sentence falling off once he sees the lake.
"Sand...fuck off," Connie kicks out his shoe to the side, lightly spraying me with speckles of sand. I fish the lollipop out of my pocket, sliding off the wrapper and popping it in my mouth as I absorb the view. Taking out the second one in my pocket, I carefully place it into Sasha's hand and earn an ear to ear grin from her. I knew she'd enjoy a little snack with the view.
The three of us stand in silence, mesmerized by the beauty but taken aback more by the memories. As children, we'd always come out here to play. Despite all the water works in Eren's backyard, we loved the lake the most. Loved the sense of independence and freedom it gave us from beyond the property. It was a space to explore, a space to be whoever we wanted to be for the day.
"I can't remember the last time I was out here."
It's Mikasa's voice that stirs the silence and awakens us all with shock. Her tone is genuine, sincere. A verbal expression of a broken heart and a world shattered in a mere ten words.
Her gesture piques my interest. Facing away from the waves, I turn to see a conglomerate of people now standing in the sand.
Jean, Marco and Mikasa are all directly behind us, eyes focused on the lake. Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner stand in their group off to the side. Ymir and Historia stand together, pinkies interlocked. To my biggest surprise, it's Eren and Armin who lean against the fence side-by-side. No one is arguing. Everyone is simply absorbing the peace around them.
It's...
Wholesome.
A word that hasn't entered my mind in years. The icky feeling it brings makes my own thought process quickly diverge and overcompensate.
"So," I face Connie, "We going for a swim or not?"
"I don't know," he shuffles his feet in the sand. He's obviously giddy to, but something's holding him back. "Eren, is it okay to?" he asks.
I over-exaggerate my huff and eye roll. "Oh for the love of God," I sigh out, "Connie can you hold this?" I stick my candy in between his fingers.
Twisting my arms over my shirt, I throw it over my head and into the sand. All eyes, especially Connie's, are on my as I slip off each boot and casually unzip my shorts. Once everything is in a relative pile, I lock eyes with Connie. With my red lingerie hugging every curve of my body sweetly, I give him a slow once over.
"You can have a taste, if you'd like," I say in a tantalizingly slow tone, siren eyes on his own. Connie immediately turns rash and embarrassed, stammering out noises that sure as hell aren't English.
I walk my eyes down to his hand. "I was talking about the lollipop, obviously. I'm done with it so you can have it." Relief washes over his face and his subtle fuck boy demeanour returns.
"So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?" I wink and turn away, giving them a visual of what I want with feet sinking into the sand as I make my way over to the short cliff of rocks on our left.
Just one way to show who's in charge, Eren.
- - -
eren's point of view
[🎵 sex money feelings die - slowed version - lykke li]
Thirty seven minutes.
Thirty seven fucking minutes since their hands interlocked, Ara navigating Armin through the mess of the crowd in my home and up the stairs.
And this wouldn't have pissed me off if it weren't for two things.
One, that son of a bitch took her into my room. He sure as hell knew exactly what he was doing. With all my own emotions running rampant from this past week, he took away the space that allowed me to come back down to earth, forcing me to dwell in the trigger inducing environment around me.
Two, she was with Armin. The boy who had been enamoured with her since that first day we were introduced to her family at the diner. The boy who would never stop talking about all the things she said or did from every little get together our families set up for us as children.
The boy she never paid attention to, at least not in the way he wanted.
Since I was young, all I can remember is Armin going on about her beauty and character, asking me for support wherever he could in reaching the depths of her heart. He was too naive to see her intentions were elsewhere, and though I could see it, I couldn't bring myself to telling Armin, especially not with the way I had slowly fallen for her.
And that was the issue. I became infatuated with her bizarre demeanour over time. Her stubbornness, her sense of adventure, it was impossible not to gravitate towards. The more I got to know her for Armin, the more I came to love her.
I specifically remember that day before disaster, sitting on the school's brick wall with our legs dangling over the edge and my heart running laps within my own ear drums. That was the day I was going to confess, the day where she complimented my appearance and snapped sweet, innocent photos of me. But of course, as the world would have it, I chickened out at that young age. Too afraid of rejection, too afraid of losing either of my best friends.
And then I lost my world, my parents.
Suddenly, her eyes were no longer deep caverns I wanted to explore, they were hollow shells that propelled the events occurring to the death of my safe haven.
I know in the logical depths of my mind that she is not responsible for their gruesome end, but my heart chooses to look the other way, siding on emotion instead.
Though she looks nothing like the girl I threw out of my house any more, there's one thing that still remains. Those fucking eyes.
A few times this evening I've caught myself, almost re-introducing myself to the hottest girl here only to see the horror and never-ending pain written all over her face.
She couldn't depart from the deep-rooted impression she had on me, and that was her flaw. I'd always see it when I looked in her eyes.
Maybe, if her eyes were covered. Laid over by a thin piece of silk tied at the base of her neck. Bent over on the edge of the counter while I–
"So, you're just really wanting to play seventh grade today, aren't you?" her words come out like venom. The thick film of white smoke indicates that she stole what was in my own hand. I was too distracted to even notice.
The beat of my heart sky rockets to an alarming pace. Out of anger or out of nervousness, I'm not entirely sure. It had been inadvertently acting this way whenever I was around her presence.
My eyes look up to where the curve of her hips can be seen over the counter.
So pretty if it weren't her.
Her.
I hit the clouds to the side to unveil her ungodly smirk. The devil with absolutely no disguise flashes an even bigger smile. At this point, I'm 100% sure the rapid heartbeat is driven my anger.
My mind finally circles back to her statement, once again poking at ways to humiliate her actions and create this false new persona that she claims to be worse than my own.
"I do more than this," I snap as I steal the disposable back, stuffing it in my pocket and quickly realizing how much that action resonated with a toddler's.
She sees it too, uses it to her advantage. "Yeah, yeah," she waves off with her slender, manicured fingers. Why the fuck did she of all people have to turn into a goddess. "Sure you do," she rolls her eyes, attempting to mimic my own statements.
My eyes focus back on her hand and I'm suddenly reminded of those who got to share it in pleasure. The way she circled it around Jean and Connie's chests in confidence. The way she tangled it in Reiner and Bertholdt's hair in lust. And even more so, the way it most likely travelled across Armin's body in pure pleasure.
It disgusts me. Not that its with a variety of people, but that everyone else gets to have it first. If she wasn't the person I knew before, she'd be mine so easily. I let out a huff, commenting exactly on what's on my mind.
"I see you're getting passed around more than the drinks tonight," I state bitterly.
"And what's it to you?" she inquires, leaning in to close the gap between us, her chest rising slowly with every breath. "I'm sure you're quite the same as well. It's more fun this way, is it not?"
Her answer is impressive. Guess she may have changed a little bit in the past couple years. Though I honestly can't be certain, not with the horrid innocence she always introduced to us as children. It was always us teaching her, never the other way around.
Despite that, it's evident she's acquired a new personality. One most likely for show.
At least with the new personality came a new body. Connie wasn't joking in his scribbly drawing of her. She was a stick with no sense of style, yet somehow her attitude made up for it.
Now, I mean, the way her breasts cinch together deeply in the opening of her cropped button-up. She looks like she could wipe the stage from any of the women in my Playboy magazines, with clothing on.
And her lips. Slightly torn and pouty from fucking with Armin. Even the thought of her needy mouth around a cock with those swollen lips has me–
"You should look at me like that more often."
Fuck.
Normally these once overs would be met with giggly, annoying flirting, but enough to get a decent fuck. Rarely, if ever, have I been quipped back like this. However to show any sign of its affect on me would only give her the upper hand. Then she might have factual evidence to show her superiority to me. And that can never happen.
Biting the inside of my cheek so hard I swear I break skin, I phrase my next statement with as much disinterest as my mind can muster at this point. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I flirt.
The glint in her eye doesn't go unnoticed. She wanted this from me.
"I never said I wouldn't," she replies, confirming my suspicions.
Ara can change her body all she wants, but at the end of the day, she's still the girl desperate for my attention. Probably even more now with how we've both grown and the experience we both have. No one can let go of a love that deep that quickly. After all this time, I'm still the one she wants.
"Well of course, because it's from me. The one person you're still obsessed with after all this time," I state with not a single doubt, crossing my arms and leaning back against the fridge. Her face practically fumes at the reply, even though the detail is quite small. A tiny crease beside her eye, the lowering of her lid. I've learned to read people like a book and this is starting to get under her skin. Exactly what I want.
"You think I care about you? Cute," she teases. Though she makes one fatal mistake. A prideful statement can only be delivered without physical faltering. One has to stand tall, make the other feel insignificant. Her fingers that slightly fiddle with the hem of her shorts show me she's crumbling.
I use her hiccup to my advantage, as these are the times in which I can truly take the stage.
Closing the gap between us, I rest my elbows back on the cool counter and reach for her chin. Something that would be so fragile and delicate within the rough texture of my palm.
To my surprise, her reflexes move in a rate much faster than my comprehension. She's already latched onto my wrist, pushing it aside with a weak look etched on her face.
A smirk gathers on my own. "This Bella is way more interesting than the old one," I flirt, "I'd actually fuck this one."
"You're disgusting," she bites back.
"And you're finally interesting," I boast, "I hurt you for your own good back then. You had no character. Something needed to build it up."
I pause to make sure she feels the weight of my stare exploring her figure, "Looks like it worked."
I feel as her grip tightens, definitely creating bruises. This is the reaction I was hoping for. One to sever a chord in her. "This," she gestures with her head to the rest of her body, "Has nothing to do with you."
With her strong grip, she shoves my hand to the side, it slamming into the marble counter top. I have to bite my cheek again to hold back the pain it caused and use a mocking laugh to coat the injury's affect.
I continue rubbing my wrist as I watch her hips sway with every step she takes. Her body visibly relaxes from the tension once she's outside. I lose her as she disappears to the side of the pool.
"Hurt your hand or s-something?"
I drop my hand immediately to my side, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed as what was supposed to be our golden retriever friend comes into view.
His hair is a fucked up mess and his lips are tattered with bruises. However, the most disgusting thing that could be seen on him was the look of absolute bliss written all over his face.
"Something," I roll my eyes, glaring at him, "But probably not in as much pain as you."
"Hm?" Armin blushes while scratching the back of his head with his hand, an obvious tell tale of him lying.
Thankfully, I didn't have to pry it out of him. With a dead stare, all I do is tap the edge of my collar bone and give him a head nod.
Armin understands the sign and looks down to see four purple hickeys right across his collarbone. Eyes wide in fear, he buttons up his whole shirt as much as he can to cover them, but still can't hide one that pokes out from his neck.
I give a pitiful laugh. "C'mon Armin, you don't have to hide that around here any more. How was the first time?"
He comes over beside me and steals a water bottle from the fridge. "You s-sure as hell know that wasn't my first time."
"First time with someone you love," I shrug and eye him, "You know she doesn't feel the same right? You'll never be more than a pity fuck to her."
"Yes, God," he drones out, dragging his hand and water bottle down his face. "You act like I'm s-stupid enough not to know that. She's n-not someone I'd want to be with any more, anyways."
That piques my interest. "How come?"
"B-Because she's not even close to the same person that she was before."
I scoff and roll my eyes. "That's a ruse."
"Is it?" Armin asks. "T-Tell me, when we first met her, what was one of the first things she did?"
I pretend to be thinking deeply though I know the answer through and through. "Uh, brought us cookies or something?"
Armin gives an unimpressed look. "Eren, I know you know this."
I sigh. "She asked us all our favourite flavours, stayed up all night baking cookies with her mom, and made us eat them together so that she could learn more about who we were. Became a yearly tradition."
Armin takes a swig of his water before wiping his mouth. "Right, and what did she do on the first day this year?"
Ruin my whole fucking day.
"Well since you're not quick to answer, I will," Armin interjects in the silence, "She p-punched the living shit out of you."
"Whatever." I start making myself a drink.
"But t-the most important thing is, did she ever start conversation with you that didn't begin with you talking f-first? Did she ever ask anything of you?"
I start thinking back through that first day. I remember my whole year beginning to turn dark at the mention of her name, but she never spoke directly to me. In biology, I drew conversation out of her, even if it was to humiliate her. The fight argument began with my quips, as did the weird principal's office conversation. Even her disagreement with Mikasa started purely from her interest in her, not me.
"To me, it looks like you're attention starved from her," Armin adds, "Like she's got the emotional manipulation down better than you."
"That's not true," I say. But was it? I don't even believe me saying it.
"Tell me she hasn't been the one thing on your mind all night," Armin demands.
Now, all there is, is red. I slam my drink down on the counter, causing a crack to jump up the side. "Coming from my best friend who thought it would be fucking great to fuck her of all people in my goddamn bedroom," I spin back, grabbing his shirt in my hand. "I don't know what the hell you're up to right now Arlert, but I want you to get the fuck out of my way right now before I beat the living shit out of you now."
His expression is horrified and ghastly as he darts his way into the back yard. I honestly wasn't that mad at him, it was more about his words.
Was I really that obsessed with Ara on day one? In my mind, she was and still is someone to toy with, to enjoy hurting. But usually I don't try and give more than a couple attempts at that in one week. With Armin's description, it truly sounded like I was beginning to revolve my world around her.
The fact that I recognize this only makes me begin to loathe her more. She was the one who ruined my family, who took them away. Now, she's the one whose come here and shaken things up far too much. It was perfect before she came, and in a matter of days her presence has ruined the equilibrium that was established.
Right now, it definitely comes along with her story. Her family's news now creates a pity circle around her actions, much like it has done for me. She can use that to her advantage.
On the other side, she's the new girl. The new girl with history and a dramatic change. Not only does this interest her prior friendships, but all the new ones as well. She's established her own little pedestal right now, and the only way to be certain it doesn't last long is to pull it out from beneath her without her noticing.
There has to be something that doesn't sit right with her, something I can use against her.
Actually, I could probably use Armin to help me out with this.
The realization draws my footsteps outside and I don't realize it until the prickling breeze meets my exposed skin. I look for the direction Armin went in, but don't find him there. Instead, he stands at the back of the fence looking up.
Jogging up to his position, I ask, "Lose something?"
He jumps a bit at my voice and moves to the side before answering, "They all went over."
My heart drops.
I hadn't been to the lake since the week before my parents passed. I stare at the ground as it feels like my world is starting to spin. Images of their bodies flooding back into my mind.
I rapidly shake my head and turn to Armin. "Help me out with this one?"
Despite my anger at him earlier, he gives a calm smile. "I'm always here for you."
We both simultaneously jump the fence, myself lending a hand to Armin along the way.
I feel all the air escape my lungs as I am winded by the view, by all the memories. Thankfully, it's the group's chatter that I can focus on instead of my raging mind.
I hear the last of Jean yelling, most likely at Connie and Sasha. "We were five steps behind you little shits!"
I muffle a laugh into my own shirt, ignoring the droplets that form at my lash line.
We soak in a silence as we all stare out together, no one daring to make a sound.
The reminiscing begins to make me feel uncomfortable, but Ara's words in the background give enough of a distraction. Suddenly, I'm hearing my name yelled from Connie.
However, when I look up, I'm only met with his jaw practically on the floor and Ara in only her red lingerie set.
The sight of her perfect body makes my dick twitch, feeling the tiniest singe of jealousy from Armin's advantage tonight.
[🎵good grief - bastille]
"So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?"
She speaks a last word to Connie before she walks off, heading to the small cliff we used to jump from as kids.
"I'm gonna marry her," Connie states proudly to the group, hands on his hips. I scoff.
"You probably won't want to after you find out she fucked Armin tonight," I blurt out against the fence. It was definitely a shit move considering I saw Annie here, but consider it pay back Armin.
I watch as Annie's eyes dart towards Armin's open mouth. She moves a step closer to Bertholdt.
"Armin...fucked Ara? No way." It's Jean's voice that comes next.
"No, Ara fucked Armin," I say with a smirk, Jean hiding his own laughter.
"I literally see a hickey on his neck!" Sasha shouts out with her hand over her mouth.
Connie's mouth at this point belongs on the floor. "Armin...pulls?" he asks, poking up a giddy laugh from Mikasa and myself.
Connie takes a few steps in towards the group. "But do you like, have feelings for her Armin?"
He shakes his head back and forth at a quick pace. "Oh no I just–"
"I don't want to here WHY you fucked her, good for you. But that means she's still free," Connie boasts, tossing his shirt over his head, "And I honestly wouldn't care either, I'm going after that woman even if it kills me."
It takes him two more seconds before he's torn off everything but his boxers, sprinting to where Ara stands on the tip of the pier.
"He's a menace to society," Sasha mumbles out as she begins stripping down with a knowing smile on her face.
I watch as Connie races up behind Ara, definitely attempting a sneak attack to shove her into the water.
"There's no way this is going to end well," I say, the whole group agreeing.
He comes up right behind her and as anticipated, she snaps quickly and uses all his body's momentum to swing him a circle and sky rocket him into the water. He lands in a belly flop that makes us all wince.
"I don't know about everyone else, but a fucking hot woman just stripped in front of me and asked us to get in the water with her, so that's where I'm going," Jean states as he jets off, having taken all his clothes off too.
"Ew Jean," Sasha squeals as she runs a fair distance behind him.
I watch as Jean attempts the exact move Connie did. They never learn.
I'm mid eye roll before something shocks me. She purposely doesn't move.
She turns to Jean, wide smile and hands by her face as she lets him pick up her body bridal style, him jumping into the lake with her.
It's her giggles that cascade throughout, making everyone else laugh from the infectious sound.
Jean and Ara both rise up from the water as she pulls back her hair in a perfume ad-worthy way. He moves in close, shooting her up in the air and into Connie's arms with a deep grip in the plush of her hips.
An unfamiliar sensation coats my muscles and organs as I focus on her from afar. The way Jean and Connie's arms knead her skin and the subtle smirks they give to her when she's not looking don't sit right.
It's a feeling I rarely feel. One that I hate.
As such, my brain overcompensates to run the sensation to the ground. It reverts to the best distraction of all.
I mount the fence and head back instead to find a girl I can fuck for the night.
- - -
author's note
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ERENS OLD CONFESSION?? and the pLAN hehe i'm so excited.
sorry it took me so long to get this stuff out. like LISTEN to what i've been doing. i drove to meet family who lives in a different city, we went on vacation, i went back to my family's house THEN back to my house and then i had to MOVE. i just drove back to family aGAIN and now i'm heading out for another mini vacation this week. wish my body luck LOL.
but thank you so much for all the love!! i appreciate every comment and it makes me whole day hehe
also also are you picking up on the four thingy yet? is there something wrong with ara's mind?
that's a secret i'll eventually tell, xoxo siadd
vote & comment bitches !!