THE PARTY IS in full swing by the time we get back. We see Victoria while we're heading back, and she grins when she sees us.
"Dani!" She's holding two glasses of what probably contain some sort of alcohol.
"Hey, Victoria," I greet and then gesture towards Adrian. "This is my friend, Adrian."
He waves at her politely. She turns her head and smiles warmly at him. "Nice to meet you. Oh, Dani, Belly's inside with some other drinks if you wanna go in and help her out."
I turn to Adrian and he shrugs. "Okay, we'll go."
Victoria starts walking away toward Dad, so we head into the house. When she's out of sight, Adrian turns to me with an overdramatic expression.
"She looks like she can be your sister."
I let out a laugh and shove his shoulder. "Shut up."
As we head inside, I see Conrad approaching us. He greets Adrian with a bro handshake and pokes the side of my stomach, making me squeal and inch away from him. When he goes to do it again, I slap his hand away but Adrian pokes my other side. They laugh loudly together when I scream again, so I pinch the underside of both of their biceps. They instantly shut up after that, and I cackle at their pained expressions.
We turn the corner into the kitchen, and my heart drops. What Victoria failed to mention is that Belly isn't the only one here. Staring down at the counter and holding a glass of red liquid, is Jeremiah. There's a slight smile on his face, just barely showing his dimple. Sometimes I forget just how much he affects me until I'm actually right there in the room next to him.
"What are you guys making?" Conrad asks as we walk into the kitchen, both Belly and Jeremiah's attentions snapping to us. Jeremiah's eyes quickly find mine, but he looks away when I maintain the contact.
"Pomegranate margaritas, but with a twist!" Belly excitedly announces.
I smile and let out a soft chuckle. "You have to use the good blender," I say.
Conrad nods vigorously. "Right. It won't be good if you don't use it."
Belly and Jeremiah share a look and then let reminiscing smiles cross their faces.
"Oh, I haven't used that thing since the great Kool-Aid Debacle of 2011," Jeremiah states, his eyes wide.
"I remember the counters were sticky for... two summers?"
Adrian quirks an amused brow at me, and I just grin while I nudge him towards the counter. He comes to sit next to Jeremiah, and I see the way Jeremiah's body immediately tenses. He doesn't say anything or even look in our direction, but I've known him long enough to know when something is bothering him.
"Won't he be mad if he finds out?" Belly frowns as Conrad opens the blender and starts pouring the ingredients in. He as in Mr. Fisher.
"Well, he's not gonna find out," Conrad states firmly. "He's not coming."
Belly hesitates for a second before she laughs and just gives in. I walk over to the head of the counter where Belly is standing on one side and Jeremiah is sitting on the other. I try not to focus on the blonde boy to my left as I laugh along with Belly, Conrad, and Adrian—who seems to be enjoying himself fairly well as he makes jokes and plays around.
Once Belly is adding the final ingredient, I reach over the counter to grab the bottle of alcohol. I don't think anyone else hears it—I probably wouldn't have if I wasn't so aware of the boy next to me—but I suddenly hear Jeremiah's breath hitch. As I'm leaning back with the bottle in my hand, I find his gaze fixed on something just eye-level with him.
That's when I realize that my shirt has ridden up slightly from when I leaned across the kitchen island. My heart seems to be in my throat when I realize that that's what he's staring at. I clear my throat awkwardly, even though the others are not paying even the slightest bit of attention since Belly grabbed the bottle of alcohol from me and started pouring its contents into the blender. Jeremiah's eyes flick up to mine, the cerulean mixed with hints of dark sea blue. I feel a blush creeping up onto my cheeks, so I quickly look away.
"Adam," I hear Mom's surprised voice say from the doorway. "You came."
I look to the side and see Mr. Fisher walking into the kitchen. My eyes widen, and I instantly look at both of the Fisher boys. I know both of them have wildly different opinions of their father.
"Happy Fourth!" he exclaims with a wide grin. Jeremiah shoots up from his seat, an equally enthusiastic grin on his face as he wraps his arms around Mr. Fisher in a tight hug. I smile at the thought of Jeremiah being so happy.
"I'll have a little of what you're mixing up there," Mr. Fisher says as Belly smiles politely and hands him a glass.
"You're gonna love the firework show this year," Jeremiah states eagerly. "It's gonna be the best one yet." I feel a little bad for Jeremiah with how Mr. Fisher has always treated him as second best to Conrad. It's like no matter what he does, nothing is good enough to make his dad proud of him. I get what that's like, and I frown as I think about just how ignorant Mr. Fisher must be to not realize that he has two amazing sons, not just one.
I look over at Conrad, who has stayed quiet since Mr. Fisher first walked in through the door. He makes eye contact with me, and I silently send him a look that says 'are you okay?' to which he just shakes his head barely and looks back down at the counter.
Adrian is just sitting back in his seat, not giving a fuck about who this man is or why everyone's reactions to him are so different. It's a little funny how he crosses his arms with a neutral expression on his face as the scene unfolds.
Things get way more awkward and weird when Susannah enters the room and is shocked at her husband's presence. I think everyone gets a little confused about that—even Mom—but Susannah quickly waves it all off and suggests everyone go back to the party outside. We all get up and start walking away. Conrad brushes past Mr. Fisher when he asks to talk to him, and I make a mental note to talk to Con when we're alone.
✧ ✦ ✧
"DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!"
Gigi downs a glass of her beer as everyone cheers her on. Everyone's here on the beach, playing a drinking game that, weirdly, Belly suggested. I'm sitting with Conrad on one side and Adrian on the other. I've never been that social of a person, but being here right now surrounded by all these people is honestly kind of like a weight is being lifted off of me.
I feel no pressure to talk or offer my input, and I definitely don't feel like I'm being judged. It may be that I'm slightly tipsy from the few sips I drank from Belly's margarita, but I feel happier than I've felt in a while. It's nice just being around other people your age and not having to feel that if you don't say something cool to make them like you, they'll all start talking shit about you behind your back.
I feel a nudge at my side and turn my head to see Adrian leaning his head on my shoulder. "Dude," he mutters as his eyes close. "I really wanna kiss Calum Hood."
I let out a laugh at his slightly drunken state. "Who doesn't?"
He leans back and grins at me. Holding up his finger, he touches the tip of my nose with it and then laughs loudly at whatever he seems to think is funny in that. His laugh is so infectious and sudden that I start to laugh too.
Definitely an affectionate, happy drunk.
The smile drops from my face when I hear someone clearing their throat in frustration. Looking diagonally to where I'm sitting, I see Jeremiah staring daggers at the raven-haired boy sitting next to me. Adrian either doesn't notice or simply doesn't give a shit because he keeps giggling quietly to himself for no apparent reason.
"So, Adrian," Jeremiah remarks loudly. "Can't handle your liquor?"
I cringe at his tone, and I know this won't end well especially when everyone pauses their conversations to turn toward Jeremiah. Adrian doesn't really take offense and instead lets a small smirk tug at his lips.
"Not really, no."
Everyone laughs at his response, but this seems to anger Jeremiah even more.
"How about we flip a coin and see who can drink more?"
Adrian shakes his head and smiles. "Okie dokie. Whatever you want man. Hey, Ellie, do you have a coin?"
I freeze.
My heart drops at the name I haven't heard in two years. The name only one person ever called me—was allowed to call me. The person in question with a look of utter shock on his face. Shock that soon turns into rage.
Shit.
Getting up, he walks over to where we're sitting and pours his drink over Adrian. I instantly put my hand on Adrian's shoulder, trying to make sure he's fine.
"Oops, sorry," Jeremiah apologizes with zero sincerity and a harsh glare directed at Adrian. "That was an accident."
My face turns red with how fucking mad I get in that moment.
"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" I demand as I stand up to face him.
"Dani—" Conrad tries to intervene, but Jeremiah cuts him off.
"Wrong with me?" he scoffs. "Oh, that's rich coming from you."
I'm aware that everyone is watching us now, but I can't bring myself to care when all these bottled-up feelings I've had are trying to escape.
"Dani, it's fine," Adrian pipes up. "Not a big deal. It's just a few drops of juice."
His entire shirt and part of his jeans are completely soaked in alcohol, and it's going to be a bitch trying to get the smell out.
I say nothing. I can't say anything when everyone's eyes are on us. I grab Jeremiah's arm and drag him away from the others and back toward the house. He resists at first but then follows along without complaint. Once we're far enough away that no one can see or hear us, I stop.
He rolls his eyes and quickly pulls his arm away as if I burned him. I ignore the ache in my heart when he crosses his arms like I'm the last person in the world he wants to be around. Even knowing that it's probably true, it still hurts a lot more than it should.
I copy his stance and change my expression so he knows that I'm mad and doesn't realize how hurt I am.
"What the hell, Jeremiah?"
He sucks in a breath and looks away from me, not saying anything.
I sigh, "That was totally not cool of you. Why would you even do that? Adrian is my friend."
He's silent for so long that I'm confused at why he hasn't just walked away already. Then, just as I'm about to say something else, he opens his mouth.
"And what am I to you?"
His words are so quiet and soft, so vulnerable, that I think I might just break down right then and there. I'm taken by surprise at what he said, and I have no idea how to respond.
You're my ex-best friend that I've secretly been in love with since I was eleven?
No way am I saying that.
When I say nothing, Jeremiah takes a step closer. My mind is telling me to take a step back, but I can't when it feels so right to be close to him. Being close to him is like being at home. It's all safe and warm and just so damn familiar that it physically hurts being far away from him. But maybe being far away is better than getting hurt emotionally over and over.
I clench my jaw to stop myself from doing anything I'll regret later. Instead, I take the step away from him with the last bit of courage I have.
"You always do this. Pull me in and then push me away."
"And what about you?" he bites back fiercely. "You don't?"
I let out a sharp breath. "God, Jeremiah, this is why I hate—"
"If you hate me so much, why do you still wear the necklace I got you?"
My mouth snaps shut, and I suddenly realize why he left so abruptly that day when Susannah was painting us. I fight the urge to scream out at him and just tell him why I still have on the stupid necklace. Because it reminds me of him. Because it makes me feel close to him when I know I can't physically be.
Without another word, he turns to leave and doesn't look back. I stare at his retreating back with a million and two regrets racing through my mind.
The words come out in a whisper.
"Because I love you."
But he was already gone.
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !
hey guys... im back???
sorry for such a late update, school just started and it's been pretty hectic for the last month or so but i swear i'm gonna try to write more and get more chapters out! i was just stuck on this chapter for like the longest time idek why
ANYWAY STREAM BIGGER THAN ME BY LOUIS TOMLINSON FOR CLEAR SKIN <3