Kinn's pov~
I get up from my bed and look at my clock. Its 6AM. Well, not like that it matters.
Its been already like this for days. Just lying on the bed at midnight after doing meetings and paper work then get up from it without any sleep.
I wonder how Porsche and vegas are doing. Its the 5th day of Porsche being gone. And all i could do is wait. Just wait for Porsche to comeback and tell him about all the truth.
Yes.... i already made up my mind to now tell the truth.
I'll call Vegas too once Porsche arrives. So that i could tell both of them everything that happened. Everything that i did... i did because of my fear. Fear of losing them. Fear of being forced to live in this world with the guilt of killing the two people i loved.
But no... not anymore. I'll go insane if this keep continues. If I'll live this way anymore.
From past 5 days, khun comes in my room in evening everyday and spend some time with me. Sometimes we talk and sometimes we just sit in the silence, sitting in the balcony. It feels warm inside when Khun tried to sit sir as close as he can.
One thing that Khun didn't forget in past 5 days to ask before living my room is that ' you're gonna reveal the truth to them. Right?' And will give me a wide smile and a pat on my shoulder proudly when I'd say 'yes'.
Even thou everyday is getting harder without them, but the fact that Porsche and Vegas will be here more soon day by day makes me breathe a little easier.
I smiled at the thought of them being in my bed, all of us cuddling and teasing each other occasionally, far away from the danger. But at the same time the fear of them not accepting me is making me sick to my bones. Specially now that the probability of them forgiving me for what i have done to them would be one-forth .
All i can hope is for them to have their unanswered questions to be answered and them to be happy. More likely for them to be happy together. Even if im not included. Its weird the way somepart of my heart hopes for them to reject me and be away from a bad omen like me.
I smiled sadly as i shook my head for even thinking about them forgiving me.
I sighed and left for getting ready for the day with only one wish for... them to be happy.
Porsche's pov~
I groaned as sunlight behind from the window burn my eyes early in the morning as i opened them. Getting irritated from that i moved my head a little deeper in my pillow as the pillow also hug me tight-
WAIT! WHAT!
I sit up abruptly as i look at the person beside of me.
Vegas...
He just... he looks so peaceful like this. He looks like an innocent kid while sleeping with an adorable pout.
I smiled softly at him. The way my heart is beating so fast whenever im with him is going to create an another havoc in my life. I know what is happening. Yeaterday... i felt myself falling for the real Vegas a little. Its like whenever i look at him, i fall a little each time. I just wish.. this will last. It'll not end bad.
I tried to move gently away from the baby devil and almost succeeded when i suddenly heard a groan and i was pulled back into those arms as the person next to me mumble something. I let out a sighed as i tried again only to get the grip around my waist tight and him nuzzle in the back of my neck more.
"Stay" i can feel my cheeks warming up as he said that in his sleepy deep voice.
"Ok.." i said as i relaxed in his hold as he nuzzle deeper then let out a whine.
"Turn around" he said as i follow his order.
Turning around he pulled my waist more tightly and nuzzle once again in my neck after rubbing his nose a few times on my collarbone. I sighed at the comfort.
Remembering how Kinn always used to do that. I let out a sad but angry huff at my thoughts. Kinn! why dont you just fuck off from my head? From my.. heart? Huh!?
I put my hand in the hair of the sleeping beauty beside of me and caressed it. He let out a satisfying hum before going back into his dreamland.
Smiling at his cute attics, i also decide that a short nap would be good.
..maybe when ill wake up next time... Kinn wouldn't be in my thoughts. And only Vegas will be in my heart.
Vegas pov~
I let out a whine as i tried to move and stretch a little but couldn't. Heavy arms are stopping me from that.
I opened my eyes and look up only to find Porsche sleeping peacefully with his arms around me and our legs tangled. I let out a sigh in happiness as put my hand on his cheek and caressed it.
He looks so cute like this.
....GOD! CAN I JUST EAT HIS FLUSHED CHEEKS??
I chuckled as i tries to move again only for Porsche to whine. But the name he let out with his whine froze me completely...
"Kinn~" he pout after whining as i tried to shake the feeling of sadness.
No. Im not jealous.
Its just knowing how they both might've been so used to cuddling each other to sleep that thinking about how they can't be together breaks me.
Even though i... hate Kinn! But that never stopped my love for him. I dont know how to hate someone who was my everything at a point that even breathing without him besides me, hurts.
And Porsche now becomes so much important to me too... that seeing him struggling tears me apart.
Only if Kinn didn't have to leave Porsche for Porsche's safety.... things will still be alright. Porsche would be right now in his arms. Sleeping peacefully instead of mine. I don't think that did Kinn even slept all these nights. He dont have anyone like Porsche have me. I hope he's doing alright.
Atleast one of the people i love, Porsche, have me as his 'stuff-toy' to sleep in the night. Have me as a replacement for sometime until he's with Kinn.
Yes... these words and thoughts wouldve hurt me some years ago. But now im just tired. After yesterday's confession maybe my heart let out all the bitterness from years. Now my head is clear and open. All i want now... is for these two people to be happy. And I'll try my best to do that.
I looked at Porsche whos eyes fluttered open as he leaned into my hand more which didnt stop caressing his cheek. He smile softly at me as i returned it before closing his eyes again, whispering "just 5 minutes more".
I smiled at his cuteness before making up my mind that no matter what, even if i have to drag Kinn on the floor or punch the hell out of him for it, Kinn will tell the truth to Porsche that why he did all of that. I'll make sure that once Porsche is back to compound, he'll be back to be his happy self too.
...Even though im tired of everything around me... i still wish selfishly that the man infront of me could be mine... god.. its such a wishful thinking.
I smiled thinking that i still have 5 more minutes to be close to this man... i layed close to him, still caressing his cheek as he hums and clutch my hand softly, rubbing his cheek on my hand.
In evening-
Today, The whole morning and afternoon we spent just getting to know each other more. Talking about our brothers and all.
Thankfully Porsche is looking more happier than he was in past few days. His smile is really feels like all sunshine and rainbows.
"Vegassss~" Porsche whines as he stomped one more time.
Well... actually right now Porsche is trying to make some dish he saw on the internet. So we are obviously in the kitchen.
Even though he said he always used to do this but its hard to believe as he kept on questioning the chef in the video after he adds anything in his dish. Like 'do this man even know what he's doing?' Or 'How much is he adding this or that? He's adding too much!!' Etc. Etc.
I just keep on looking at him, stomping his way in the kitchen from here to there, while sitting on the counter top.
I let out a chuckle as Porsche whines again.
"What~" i said in the same tone teasingly as Porsche narrow his eyes at me on that. I just lifted my hands up in surrender.
"Why aren't you helping me in this?" He asked.
"Well im way too useless for kitchen stuff." I let out a laugh as Porsche groaned in helplessness.
He huff, trying to clam down.
" I'll do this in my way!!" He exclaimed as he put his phone down and starts moving in speed while making the dish, the way he wants.
Its kind of great sight. Porsche and his concentrated face. He looks...sexy. As he step back putting things on the gas stove to cook, he looked at me with a smirk.
"What you're staring at?" He said smugly as my cheeks flushed at being caught.
"Nothing!" My voice came a little high than normally.
Porsche let out a chuckle before saying 'now it'll take some time' while pointing at the dish on the stove. I hummed in response.
"Vegas" i looked up at him as he came and lean on his elbow on the counter beside of me. I lift my eyebrow in question.
"Thank you for being with me in my hard time." He said as he put his other hand on mine before taking it, holding it and resting our both hands on my thigh. I felt my breathe hitches.
"Dont thank me Porsche. I felt great spending time with you. And im happy that i could be there for you since Kinn is not here... I-I think... maybe you should talk to him once again Porsche. I know its hard. Trust me. I know.... but there are many things that you dont maybe know about this underworld. So.. m-maybe you can have a little civil talk with Kinn and don't worry i'll be there with you if you want. Ill be t-there for you... whenever you want. So thank you for letting me take care of you a little." I said with a smile but Porsche's smile turned into a frown.
"Vegas..." he whispered as he came infront of me and settled in between my legs. He cup my cheeks as he wiped my tears. I flinched as i finally feel the wetness from my eyes. When did started crying?
"Calm down... you're rambling" porsche said as he put his forehead on mine and one of his hand went to my waist as he rub his hand there in comfort.
"I-Im sorry" i whispered as Porsche shake his head and let out a 'no'.
After sometime, calming down i let out a chuckle and Porsche pulled away. His hands still on my cheek and waist.
"When did i become such an emotional fool.." i said as Porsche let out a tsk sound.
"You're not an emotional fool. You're just being true to your emotions. And there is no wrong in doing that. Okay?" He said firmly as nod my head weakly.
"And about what you said..."
Oh shit i shouldn't have talk about Kinn and his relationship. He must be thinking im out of my mind telling him to go back to Kinn-
"You're not here because Kinn is not here. You're here becuase i need you... not Kinn. Vegas... why do you think you're just a replacement for Kinn to me? Do you think of me that low?" He said in a low sad voice as i tried to understand.
.. he's... he's not mad at me for telling him to go back to Kinn... he's mad because i think of me as kinn's replacement....
...and im kind of flustered.. he cares for me.
oh..OH! And now he's getting the things wrong!!
"NO! NO! IM NOT THINKING OF YOU LOW!" I said screaming as Porsche looked shocked at my out burst.
"Ok! Ok! I got it! Calm down." He said as he went and get me some water.
"Drink this." He order as i still felt restless at the thought of offending Porsche.
Porsche sighed and came back to his previous position. And put his hand on my cheek while other have a glass of water.
"Im not mad at you. Okay? Now drink this... please." Porsche pleads as he get the cup near my mouth and help me drink it.
He put the cup aside and hug my waist, as i let out a surprised gasp, before wrapping my arms around his shoulders hesitantly.
"Vegas.. tell me now, love, why did you think of yourself as just a replacement? Hmm?" He said gently as he caresses my head. I tried not to scream at the nickname he just called me.
"Its just..." i tighten my grip on his shoulder and closed my eyes tight as my mind went back to that morning.
"Its okay. Take your time." Porsche rub my back gently as i let out a sigh.
"Remember i told you how... after Tawan left Kinn... i was with him that night and next morning he.. h-he said that he just wanted me for nothing but as just a stuff toy to hold onto..." i said as i felt Porsche tighten his hold before moving back. I kept my head down as i continued.
"Im tired Porsche... im so tired of everything. Love is not something made up for me..." i looked up as Porsche just shake his head on my words.
"Im happy.. atleast i got to fall in love with two people in my life... and im just happy if i could be useful to any of you... in anyway..." i said with a smile as Porsche gasped.
"Vegas! Dont say that!" He said as he cupped my cheeks again.
"Vegas... you dont even have an idea how much you mean to me... fuck Kinn! Even though i cant stop loving him soon... but Vegas... this love is killing me in every moment.. and i dont like this! While your love is making me feel good Vegas... it makes me feel alive! Even though it's scary... but i think im falling again Vegas.. im falling in love with you."
My heart skipped a beat as if for the first time i actually looked in Porsche's eyes... there was so much love in them... its scary... fuck! Its hella scary!!
Porsche give me smile and nod at me as if to tell me that what i heard is true.
I finally let out a sob as i hug him tightly once more.
YESS!! PORSCHE LIKES ME!! HE'S FALLING IN LOVE.... with me..!!
Porsche let out a chuckle as he also hug me back. The happiness was like everywhere.
Porsche pulled back a little as he kept his hands on the side of my neck while caressing it as i kept mine on his waist. His eyes were teary as he gives me a big smile which i returned. I can feel my eyes being teary too.
Porsche suddenly looked down a little in my face before moving close. I clutched his shirt on his sides. He leaned a little more, smiling as he rubbed his nose with mine affectionately. I let out a small smile myself before closing my eyes and leaning towards him, closing the gap.
It was just lips touching each other at first, just a peak. As we pulled away and let out a laugh together we dived again but this time actually kissing.
Porsche put his hand around my waist as he pulled my body closed to him. He let out a whine as i tug on his hair a little while angling his face to kiss him deeper.
I gasped as i felt cold hand on my bare waist, under my shirt as Porsche took this opportunity to dive his tongue inside my mouth, taking care of my moans as he kept caressing my bare skin. He lick inside my mouth skillfully as i arch my back and tug at his hair harder, shivers went through my spine. It feels like he's devoring me.
Finally he pulled away to let us catch our breathe. I closed my eyes as i pant and pulled Porsche more close to me, if thats even possible. I felt him kiss my forehead then both cheeks as i let out a giggle. He kissed my nose and peaked my lips softly as i opened my eyes.
He give me his bright smile as he pulled me into his embrace. I smiled at the warm comfort.
"Vegas.."
"Hmm"
"Something is wrong..." i pulled away from him and we both look at each other. I looked at him in confusion as he makes a displeased sound.
"Burning.." he said as my eyes widen and i slap him on his chest before yelling loudly.
"Our dinner!!!"
Porsche eyes widen comically before he removed his hands from my waist and shift towards the stove, opening the lid of his dish.
"Vegas..." he said as he looked at me and then at his dish. I jumped from the counter and walked towards him, looked at our dinner.
I burst out laughing as Porsche whine loudly. The whole utensil with the dish was black. Porsche glared at me and tried to stop my laugh but couldnt.
"Sorry! Sorry!" I yelled as he picked up the spatula and lifted to hit me as i run towards the other side of the counter. Porsche laughed himself too as he finally stoped glaring at me while mumbling 'this is all your fault' and 'sleep without any food today', smiling all the time.
I sit on the couch while looking at Porsche, who's trying to find us something to eat as i shake my head at him fondly.
But suddenly i remembered something... more like someone.. whom i forget while losing myself in my happiness...
...Kinn.
_________________________________________
Soooooo.... how was ittttt?!!!😋🤗😘
It was surely a long ass chapter!! 😂😂 sry for that!!☺☺