I didn't want to think about Ember and I definitely didn't want to talk about her either. This temporary grief would benefit would no one; the only logical, pragmatic path to take now was action – not hesitating over inconsequential occurrences.
Yet when the others arrived, my dead lover's name hung unspoken on everyone's lips. Until we faced with another challenge, of course.
They came straight to Wednesday's, with her intuition having led her home; to where her dad had Victoria chained up and responsible due to the wolfsbane coursing relentlessly through her veins. Not that I pitied her, though.
After finding her, I walked back to Mrs Milburn's house, grabbed my phone and mine and Ember's bags, and wrote her a note explaining that we'd be staying at the Mortelles'. And not to worry, because almost all parents do is worry about their kids. I did it all in a trance-like daze; inexplicable exhaustion wearying my restless body.
I promptly fell asleep in a spare room as soon as I got back to Wednesday's.
I heard the others coming from a mile off – literally. Somehow, I'd become a light sleeper, sensitive to all nocturnal sounds. Hell, when Ember rolled over in bed the night before, I shot up like a bullet – despite the fact she was a floor above me.
Don't think about her.
Reuniting with the others would become yet another event to occur at the Mortelles', especially with the mix of emotions tying us all together.
I opened the front door as soon as they all arrived.
"Hey Theo." Ryder nodded casually, like we weren't all going through shit.
"Hey." I nodded back, shoving my hands in my jean pockets.
"Oh, stop pretending to be so macho, already." Thea huffed, pushing past Ryder and wrapping me in a tight hug. She dropped her voice to a whisper, her words a little choked; "You're allowed to be upset. You don't have to hide it. Not from me; not from us."
"I know." I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut as I hugged her back, just as tight.
"Let's get inside." Al started pushing past us, hand in hand with Wednesday and pulling her inside too.
Thea let go of me, patting my shoulder, before going over to Halia and leading her in through the door. Halia's eyes were bleary and red; and she smelt awful.
"She alright?" I raised an eyebrow at Ryder once she was inside.
"Nope." He sighed. "The reason why it took so long for us to get here was 'cos Halia didn't want to leave Hopecliffe."
"Well, life's not much better in Lake Oldoy, to be honest." I clenched my hand into a fist, unclenched it and clenched it again; desperately avoiding my thoughts.
"Thea was right, you know." After taking one last look around the neighbourhood, he stepped inside and his hand landed on my shoulder. "You don't have to hide how you're feeling from us."
"It's just... easier if I try focus on other shit." I swallowed, focusing on a dead moth lying on the same wooden floorboards that seemed to furnish every room in the Mortelles' place.
"I get it, Theo." He hugged me suddenly. "Trust me, I really do."
"Do you still miss Hayden?" Thinking about his dead lover, I forced out the question; finding that talking stopped me from getting choked up and teary (shut up).
"All the time."
A hair-splitting scream tore through the house; Ryder and I didn't hesitate to start running upstairs – to where the sound had originated from and where the girls had just disappeared to.
"Thea?" Ryder shouted upstairs, much to my surprise; both of us frowning as we sprinted up the stairs – round the corner, and consequently up the ladder into the attic.
They'd found Victoria.
The scream came from Wednesday; the chemosignals of fear and shock consumed the room. Wednesday sat, ashen-faced, in a faded armchair that matched the one Victoria was slumped in; Al was crouched down next to her holding her hand; Halia was frowning intently at Victoria, and Thea...
Thea was fine. What wasn't fine about Thea was the fact Ryder had gone right over to her. "Are you okay?" He was asking her, eyes searching her face.
"Me? I'm... fine."
I shot her a frown; <We're talking about this later.>
"J-Jade?" Ryder stuttered, eyes wide as he tore his attention away from Thea, after what felt like an eternity. He stepped towards Victoria. "Is it really Jade, Theo?"
Thank God that Ryder's also been learning not to trust appearances so carelessly.
While it's true that not all werewolves have to act like monsters, Victoria seemed to check that box intentionally. The way she was back here all those months ago, it seemed like she'd lost so much of her humanity. I dreaded to what she would be like now.
"No," I told him with a heavy sigh, "It's not Jade. She's a borderline psychotic born-werewolf with an insane blood lust, and her name is Victoria."
As if upon hearing her name, Victoria stirred slightly, her fingers moving and her head straightening a little with the first signs of consciousness.
"You don't think–?" Thea's question faltered before it could make itself audible.
I strode over to the IV bag and squeezed the flimsy plastic, displacing the purple water elsewhere in the bag. Only a shred of an aconite petal, the wolfsbane plant, remained. A quick glance over her previously-gaping wounds reaffirmed my fears. The slashes were thinning, the skin knitting itself back together.
We were running out of time.
"Either we find more wolfsbane or we get the hell out of here." I stepped back, shoving my hands in my pockets to wipe the sweat off them – even being near such a monster was making me nervous. But I couldn't let the others know that; the role of leader somehow kept falling on me, and I couldn't lose my cool... It'd only make them lose control too.
"What's so dangerous about her?" Thea raised an eyebrow, looking Victoria up and down with a judgemental glare. "I reckon we could take her."
"She used to be an Alpha, and still could be." Al chipped in pointedly, tapping her fingertips together in some sort of contemplative matter.
"Yeah, but Theo's–" Thea opened her mouth only to get cut off again; Al seemed as desperate to keep the peace as I was to keep control.
"Theo's tired and he's been alone since losing Ember." Al eyed Thea, replacing her arm around Wednesday – who seemed to quiver and pale further at the mention of her dead best friend. "So, we find more wolfsbane and we cast some anti-werewolf charms. Got it?"
Thea mumbled, begrudgingly agreeing, eyes flicking across to me, then away again.
"Wednesday, why does your dad even have her here in the first place?" I questioned, forehead furrowing in confusion; "I thought she'd be dead by now. With all the hunters that went after her and all... Do you know how far north she got before your dad caught her?"
"Many of the hunters abandoned the hunt once they figured out you weren't with her, Theo." Halia voiced, throat slightly hoarse and eyes glazed over. "Victoria came back to Lake Oldoy months ago... just before–"
"Just before our new BFF Killian decided to make his grand entrance." Al rushed out – blunt impatience and anger exuding from her; though at whom, I wasn't sure. It could've been all of us, or Victoria, or the entire situation.
"That can't be a coincidence." Ryder shook his head, before turning to me; "Can it, Theo?"
"Knowing this town, definitely not." I huffed, then glanced up at Halia's weary frame. "Do you know if anything... went on between Victoria and Kaden?"
I'd yet to mention it to anyone, but I knew that Halia was deteriorating physically as well as mentally. I could sense it somehow; the way her scales were greyer than they used to be, how sometimes her gills got blocked up... And yet I couldn't baby her; I needed to ask her the difficult questions in order to help her Kaden – which, in turn, would help Halia return to her full naiad state.
Heartbreak is tearing her very soul apart.
Halia pressed her lips together firmly, whitening them as she did so. "You could say that, yes. Something passed between the two."
"So, she came back here for Kaden?" Head spinning, I asked, "Halia, what really happened?"
Victoria moved a little again, groaning groggily; her eyes fluttering behind her closed lids.
"Look, either one of you three tells me," I directed at Halia, Wednesday and Al, somewhat sharply, "Or we let Victoria wake up and I ask her what the fuck happened – 'cos something clearly did."
I wasn't used to giving ultimatums, but as soon as the words left my mouth and fell upon the ears of the others, I realised for the first time what I'd done. I'd taken control of a rapidly spiralling situation.
"Okay, fine." Al spat, feisty as ever, dragging Wednesday up to her feet – "You and Halia are gonna go find some more wolfsbane, more silver and any non-harmful sedative herbs that you can lay your hands on – maybe passionflower."
"Just don't leave the house." I blurted out, "Killian could still be out there... And I think he has a witch of some sort with him too."
On the word 'witch', Wednesday's eyes met mine briefly before darting away just as swiftly; her silence worried me.
With an unconcealable shudder, the memory of the barrier that prevented me from helping Ember on the shore surfaced – reminding me of how similar it was to the barrier around Victoria. Maybe it's just a spell most witches can cast.
Halia grasped onto Wednesday's arm and led her out of the attic. Ryder and Thea hovered unsurely and in semi-silence to the right of me – still stood too close to one another for my own comfort. Everyone was here, and yet it felt like someone was missing; like we couldn't be having these conversations and making decisions without them here...
I clenched the urn around my neck. Of course; it's her.
With Halia and Wednesday now out of earshot, Al's voice dragged my focus back into the room before I could wander too far from the present. "Victoria came back here to recruit Kaden, or whatever it's called when you mongrels decide to start a pack with other mongrels."
"Yeah, we don't really have a name for that." Ryder mused aloud, contributing nothing essential.
"Anyway." Al rolled her eyes, beginning to pace the attic from right to left, and then back. "It's like she expected him to be waiting for her; as if he was still her Beta."
"But we broke the Alpha-Beta bond." I frowned, distinctly recalling the two of us digging our claws into one another's forearms as Victoria suffered from Ember's flames.
Ember. The mere thought of her name almost stopped my heart entirely. Yet it also made the ankh brand in my chest prickle slightly as I remembered my dream the other afternoon.
"Maybe you broke it for yourself, but not totally for Kaden... Maybe that's why she came back?" Al shrugged doubtfully, forceful nature faltering in her uncertainty; though I was silently grateful to her again, for stopping me dwelling in my thoughts for too long – hold up a sec...
"Would an Alpha be truly able to move on from a place if they still had a Beta there?" I shook my head, turning to face Ryder – dependent on his help.
"Not if they had unfinished business with the Beta." Ryder's eyebrows crumped inwards, walking towards me, causing the floorboards to creak. "What are you thinking, Theo?"
My restless gaze landed on Victoria, whose cuts seemed almost entirely healed. Her words to me bounced around my head:
He will have to kill eventually...
What if Victoria made him into this monster? And I wasn't here to help him.
"What if she made him kill? And that's what caused Killian to surface." I chewed my bottom lip, looking to Thea and Ryder for support – for them to fight my corner. And, somehow, I sort of knew they would.
"Some curses can be triggered by murder." Thea suggested, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and crossing her arms assertively. "I read it somewhere."
"So, what? This Kaden dude had been harbouring Killian for years before Vicky here," Ryder flung a careless arm towards Victoria in his ignorance, "Decided to ritualistically make him her Beta?"
"It seems that way." Al puzzled, her dark brown eyebrows cast shadows over her eyes as they descended down her forehead, "Killian could've been within Kaden ever since the accident... waiting until something happened to trigger his arrival."
Like he'd been watching and waiting this entire time, biding his time until the moment that he could emerge.
"What if–" I stopped myself, knowing I'd be diving into a whole other conspiracy theory if I'd continued.
"Is there any chance Kaden could've had some sort of curse since birth?" Thea asked, effectively completing my unfinished question.
I looked across at her, a slight smile finding my lips, in spite of everything; "That's what I was gonna ask."
"Psychic twins." Ryder muttered, shaking his head – though I hadn't specifically thought anything to her at all.
"I mean, I don't doubt it." Al shrugged nonchalantly, her frown loosening for a moment – only to knit together once again.
Victoria moved again, a slight growl escaping her lips. She was healing much faster and recovering much quicker than I – or any of us, had anticipated.
"How come it's taking so long?" I shouted down to Halia and Wednesday, suddenly getting just as impatient as Al.
"Wednesday... collapsed – but we found some." Halia; it sounded like she was on the first floor (or ground floor, as they call it here... weird Brits), so there'd be no chance of Halia getting Wednesday back up here by herself.
"Al, you go and get the herbs," I told her, snapping into action and taking control yet again. "Ryder, go help Wednesday get back up here; we'll need her for the charms, or whatever."
"Yes, boss." Al huffed, seeming annoyed but shooting me a wink as she left.
"You sure you'll be okay up here without me?" Ryder hesitated, the pressure of his shifting weight making the slightly dusty floorboards groan.
"We'll be fine, Ryder." I turned to him, "Out of all of us, Thea is the strongest anyway. Besides, every minute lost is a minute closer to Victoria waking up and tearing us all to shreds... Just go."
Begrudgingly, he grumbled something without consequence and then climbed down the ladder as nosily as possible.
With less of us in the attic, Thea's occasional murderous desires got the better of her; leaving me to once again defuse a tense situation. Victoria's presence was getting to all of us – whether we liked to admit or not.
"Don't you think it would be so easy to just slash her throat now and get it over with?" Thea stalked towards Victoria, nails lengthening into dangerously sharp claws – bloodlust tinging her voice.
"Chill, Thea. We're keeping her alive for now; she's got something to do with Kaden's transition into Killian," I explained slowly, "We're here to help Kaden, remember?"
"Ugh, fine." She let out a low growl of submission, curling her fingers as she breathed steadier and retracted her claws. "I'm trying, Theo. Sometimes it's harder to control..." She dropped her voice a little. "Not like you would understand that."
"Since when does it seem like I've got all my shit together?" I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest. "Control can take years to master; having a strong anchor is important but you also kinda have to believe that you don't have to lose control."
She was listening, so I continued, keeping my voice calm and measured; "Controlling things other than yourself can also help, too. That's why Alphas often have the best control... and why Omegas have the worst."
"And Betas who also happen to be hellhounds?" She arched a single eyebrow up at me sceptically.
"Well–" I began, only to be cut off by an abrupt grotesque, inhuman growl emanating from Victoria.
Our attention from her had drifted away, and she must've woken up during that brief lapse in concentration; a fault on both mine and Thea's parts.
Face contorted in agony, in spite of her healed wounds, Victoria's eyes shot open as he clawed hands clutched at the armchair's once plush fabric. Her eyes glowed an odd dark orange, or perhaps it was a pale red – either way, it looked like she was somewhere in between an Alpha and a Beta.
Once her attention landed on us, or rather me, she glared spitefully; as if I had put her in that position. Though instead of yelling obscenities at us, she simply pressed her lips together firmly; her gaunt, slightly hollow cheeks further tightening her expression. With the narrowing of her face, the burn scars stretched too, contorting the damaged flesh further.
<Get the others, Thea. Right now.>
Thea didn't have to think back; she was already down the hatch in the floor before I'd finished communicating telepathically to her.
"Feeling the unbidden need to say something – anything – I started pacing in front of her, "It's been a long time, Victoria."
A few more months and then it will be a year, I added internally.
And even though she was weakened and almost worthy of my pity, I couldn't let myself forget what she made me do.
"Make sure he's dead." Victoria repeated, leaning against my shoulder, "Don't you want to tear his body apart? Don't you want to feel your claws slicing through his flesh?" ... With her controlling me, I slashed open his chest – my claws quickly demolishing what used to be a man.
She said nothing; only narrowed her eyes at me.
The others clambered up the stairs, bursting through the hatch; Ryder was carrying Wednesday to the spare armchair, Al and Halia carried silver and herbs, with Thea bringing up the rear and shutting the attic hatch.
"Al, can you put some more wolfsbane in the IV bag?" I asked, trying to calm my impatience; what they took them so long? "Enough to subdue her without knocking her out... We need some answers."
"Got it." Al complied immediately, tearing up a few of the deadly petals and placing them in the drip bag, which would soon lead straight into Victoria's bloodstream.
"Why did you come back to Lake Oldoy?" Wasting no more time, I jumped straight in – while the others seemed to freeze to listen.
Victoria raised her eyebrows and her mouth twitched slightly. But no words arrived; her silence filled the room.
"What did you do to Kaden?" I questioned, feeling pangs of anxiety beginning to surface within me.
Again, she said nothing... in spite of her eyes watching my every move, her ears raising as she listened to me.
"What do you know about Killian?"
"Theo let me try–" Halia spoke up, only for me to silence her.
"No," I spat out irritatedly. "Answer me, Victoria – what are you doing back here? What did you do to Kaden? Did you force him to become Killian?"
Even as my voice rose close to shouting, as a growl began to catch in my throat, Victoria remained mute. She could see me and hear me, so why wasn't she saying anything? Anything, even if they weren't answers would be better than this bleak absence of words.
"Theo, hang on a sec." Ryder said hesitantly, the floorboards squeaking in indignation as he stepped towards me a little.
"There's no time." I shook my head in desperation, "We have to help Kaden."
"Theo, listen." Wednesday urged, her voice faint, "Listen to us."
Victoria could be the only lead we have.
"We need her to talk." I insisted, ignoring them all. Stepping close to her and leaning forward, I grasped Victoria's stubborn jaw in my hand and started yanking it open. "Why won't you fucking answer?"
Little did I know, I was revealing her greatest wound of all. As I eased her mouth open, black blood trickled out the sides of her mouth. Horror consumed me as I saw what was missing, as the gush of blood ceased and as her mouth hung open to reveal a ghastly sight.
Victoria's tongue had been cut out; only a bloody, fleshy lump remained.
No wonder she wouldn't answer me; Victoria would never speak again.
Despite the eternal effects of the torture she'd endured, she started laughing cruelly, a little fresh blood spurting out as she did so. Even though she'd lost the power to communicate, she'd still won.
"So much for getting answers." Thea huffed.