To Logan it only felt like he had been holding Alfie for a few minutes, but in reality they had both been curled up together in his bed for well over an hour. This became apparent to Logan when he heard the front door of his house click open and in scrambled his mum and little brothers.
"That'll be my mum with Leo and Levi" Logan said, loosening is grip slightly on Alfie as he spoke.
It wasn't that he was embarrassed of being so intimate with Alfie, it was more so that he didn't want Alfie to feel uncomfortable in front of his family. However, Alfie felt pushed aside as Logan moved away from him.
This thought didn't last for long as Alfie began to hear footsteps making their way up the stairs to Logan's bedroom. He tried aimlessly to work out who it was, but he had absolutely no idea.
"Logan, do you want to come out to play?" a small voice was heard before one of Logan's little brothers slammed into the room.
"Not right now, Levi" Logan tried to brush his brother off.
"Hello" Levi said to Alfie nonchalantly, then he went back to talking to Logan.
"Please, Logan" Levi whined.
He was only seven, so he wasn't quite old enough to realise that Logan and Alfie wanted some time on their own.
Before Logan could refuse Levi's request in came Leo with a handful of snacks.
"Come play with us, Logan" Leo spoke through a mouthful of cookies.
"You guys, we're busy" Logan was beginning to get annoyed.
Usually after school Logan would play outside with his brothers for a little while to appease them before going to do his own thing, so he knew they would only pester him until he caved.
"He can play too" Levi suggested, pointing at Alfie.
"He doesn't want to play" Logan rolled his eyes.
"Logan" Levi and Leo both whined in unison.
"Leave us alone" Logan started pushing his brothers out of the room.
That's when Logan's youngest brother, Leo, tripped and bumped his head on the edge of the door. Immediately he began wailing, screaming for his mum.
Alfie watched and Logan picked his four year old brother up and rock him back and forth slowly, whispering "sh sh sh" in his ear. He then walked over to his bedside table which he frantically began looking through, eventually pulling out a sage green coloured dummy that he pressed between Leo's lips.
After this it only took him a few seconds to stop crying.
Alfie looked at Leo jealously, wishing it was him being babied instead. This was a thought that Alfie wasn't proud of, but he couldn't seem to shake no matter how hard he tried.
"You guys go and play together. I'll come play later" Logan said, putting Leo down and ushering them out of his bedroom.
Finally the boys complied and left Logan and Alfie in peace once again.
"I'm sorry about them" Logan apologised.
"Don't worry about it" Alfie smiled, not wanting to come across as unpleasant.
"We try not to give Leo a dummy, but it's the only way to get him to stop crying" Logan explained.
Logan knew that Leo was too old to be using a dummy, so he felt it was important to tell Alfie that it was something he was working on.
"Levi has his blanket, so I feel mean not giving Leo his dummy when he's upset" Logan went on to say.
Alfie then began to fantasise about having his own special dummy and blanket that made him feel so safe that he didn't cry. He would have loved to have something so special to him that all of his sadness went away when he had them.
Although he didn't realise he was doing it, he was staring at the bedside draw that Logan had got the dummy out of longingly.
This was something that didn't go unnoticed by Logan.
He went back over to the bedside draw, this time taking out a navy blue dummy, then came over to Alfie.
"Maybe it can help you feel less upset too" Logan said, pushing the dummy between Alfie's lips.
At first Alfie didn't like the feeling of the plastic in his mouth, but after sucking on it for a few seconds his sad feelings magically seemed to dissipate.
"Look how cute my little bug is" Logan cooed, stroking Alfie's hair out of his face as he mindlessly sucked on the dummy.
Alfie knew it was wrong to like this so much, but there was nothing he could really do to help it.
Logan loved the way that Alfie looked with a dummy in his mouth. The way he looked so little and beefy made his dominant side rise even further up out of him.
The moment, however, was short lived, as the boys were interrupted by the doorbell ringing loudly through the house.
Alfie looked at Logan, expecting him to telepathically know who was at the door.
"My mum will answer it" Logan said, unfazed by the idea of a stranger in the house, whereas Alfie was now petrified.
"Don't panic" Logan was confused why Alfie had now began acting so strangely.
Then, he heard the voice of the person at the door.
It was Alfie's mum.
Obviously, Mr Bentley had given her Logan's address to come and collect him, regardless of his own privacy.
Alfie started panting heavily, his mind working wildly on how this situation would pan out.
He quickly pulled the dummy from between his lips, throwing it violently across the room. There was no way he was going to let his mum see him with that.
"Alfie, your mums here" Logan's mum called up the stairs.
Alfie didn't move. He didn't want to go home with his mum. He felt safest with Logan. Besides, he knew he was going to be in huge trouble.
The boys then heard Alfie's mum and Logan's mum making their way upstairs.
"It'll be fine" Logan reassured unsuccessfully.
"Logan, Alfie's mum's here" Logan's mum spoke before coming into the bedroom, followed shortly after by Alfie's mum
"Alfie, can we talk?" Alfie's mum was much softer now that she had a different audience.
"I don't want to" Alfie said shyly.
He didn't like the fact that Logan's mum was lingering while his own mum attempted to discuss what had happened that day.
"I know you don't, but we need to talk about it" Alfie's mum pressed.
"You're gunna yell at me" Alfie predicted.
"No yelling" Alfie's mum promised.
"Come on Logan, let's give them some privacy to chat" Logan's mum beckoned Logan out of his bedroom.
Logan looked at Alfie, asking with his eyes whether it was okay for him to leave. Alfie stared blankly back at him, hoping he would stay.
"Logan" his mum held the door open for him.
Logan then left, feeling guilty for not staying to give Alfie a stronger voice because he knew he had a lot to say but too little confidence to do so.
"Alfie, let's talk about it" Alfie's mum said again once Logan had left and closed the door behind him.
"You're mad at me and I don't like it" Alfie stated, his eyes now focused more on the floor than his mum.
"I was, but I know I shouldn't have been and I'm really sorry about that. I'm not mad anymore" Alfie's mum apologised.
Alfie could tell she meant it, but he couldn't help but feel hurt by the way he had been treated that afternoon.
"Why couldn't you understand that I didn't want Mr Preston to change me?" Alfie questioned.
Alfie's mum thought for a moment before she spoke. She didn't want to say anything else she didn't truly mean, so she made sure what she did say was completely right.
"I totally understand, Alfie. I wouldn't like it either. I was just frustrated in the heat of the moment" Alfie's mum said, keeping her voice consistently soft.
"I'm trying my best to stay dry" Alfie said sadly.
"Sweetheart, of course you're trying your best. Never would I assume you're having accidents on purpose. I've just had a lot of long days recently, so I lost my temper" Alfie's mum hoped Alfie could understand.
"But you yelled at me like it was my fault" Alfie stated back.
"I'm really sorry, Alf. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. Logan was right, it wasn't fair at all" Alfie's mum looked at her hands as she spoke.
"And this" Alfie said, pointing down at his pants, by 'this' meaning his nappy.
"I went about it in completely the wrong way, I know, but I think for right now a nappy is something you're going to have to wear" Alfie's mum explained.
"But how am I supposed to go to the bathroom while wearing it" Alfie began getting upset.
"At the moment you're having accidents out of nowhere. I know that isn't your fault, but we can't pretend like it's not happening. A pull-up just isn't enough for right now" Alfie's mum went on to say.
"But I'm not a baby" Alfie was holding back floods of tears as he spoke.
Alfie didn't mind that Logan treated him like a baby at all, but when anybody else did it made Alfie very upset. He wished that he could stop himself from having accidents but he knew that he couldn't. The medication wasn't working yet and Alfie had all but lost all control of when he had a wee.
"Nobody is saying your a baby. We just can't have you wetting yourself all of the time, can we?" Alfie's mum asked.
Alfie nervously shook his head. He knew he needed the nappies, but he still hadn't fully accepted that yet.
"And if your meds don't start working within the next few weeks we can go back to the doctors and see what they have to say. Right now, though, we've really got to try and ride out this rough patch" she continued.
"I want to use the potty" Alfie whined, still trying to get out of wearing a nappy.
"And I'm not stopping you from using the potty. We've just got to wait until your body is ready, that's all" Alfie's mum sighed as she knew how distressing this must all be for Alfie, and she hated having to be the person to enforce it on him.
"When all of those feelings start to come back to let you know when you need a wee then we can work back to using the potty. But, I think you know that you aren't ready yet" Alfie's mum went on to say.
Alfie knew she was right.
"I don't want Mr Preston to change me" Alfie stated.
The real issue he was having was that he was expected to be okay with a complete stranger seeing him in a nappy, which he most definitely wasn't.
"Mr Preston mentioned you're more comfortable with Mr Bentley. Do you think you'd be okay with him helping instead?" Alfie's mum asked.
Alfie thought about it for a moment. He did feel much better about being supported by Mr Bentley, but he still wanted it to be Logan that ultimately changed him.
Alfie shrugged. He didn't want to answer the question because then he'd be expected to let Mr Bentley change him without question.
"Sweetheart, we need to find somebody other than Logan that can change you when you've had an accident" Alfie's mum pleaded with Alfie to give her a response.
Alfie couldn't understand why they were so against Logan helping him and he felt like they were trying to push them away from each other.
"If we can't find somebody you want to change you I'll have to find nappies that are thick enough to last you through the day until you get home" Alfie's mum said.
Alfie didn't like the thought of that at all. He knew his nappy was already obvious under his clothes as it was, so having to wear a thicker one was not an option he would be okay with.
"Mr Bentley" Alfie said shortly.
"You'd be okay if Mr Bentley changed you?" Alfie's mum asked for confirmation.
Slowly, Alfie nodded his head. He wanted the conversation over and he decided Mr Bentley would be the least scary of his options.
"Okay, sweetheart. I will give him a call and let him know what you've decided so he knows for tomorrow" Alfie's mum smiled at her son.
Alfie wasn't complete happy, but he felt much better knowing that Mr Preston wasn't going to try and force him to be changed anymore.
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