Chapter Playlist:
-Don't give up on me by Andy Grammer.
-Turning Page by Sleeping at last.
"THE DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF the number one hospital in the North, Horizon General Hospital, Mr. Hisham Adam has just been arrested for trafficking of drugs alongside wanted Drug lord, Salim Badaru, alias, Alex. The drug lord has confessed to all his crimes alongside all the help he had gotten from now former deputy director. Police said this achievement wouldn't have been possible without the help of certain administrators in the hospital..."
Tapping the off button on the remote, the news was turned off and the remote was thrown away somewhere on the bed. Flickering her eyes shut, Aisha settled down on the bed and buried her face in between her hands. She then took in a deep breath, one that she very much needed. Once she had gathered her thoughts, she pushed herself off the bed and picked up her phone before heading to the vanity table. She fixed her veil, making sure it covered her properly before she stepped out of the room she had been staying in for the past couple of days.
She had already texted Aslam, asking for his permission to step out and he granted it. She couldn't ask him face-to-face. Heck, she hasn't seen him since the day he told her the truth—everything he had found out. She doesn't mean to push him away, but she needed time to accept everything because it was too much to accept.
Now though, days later, she was ready to face everything once and for all—and to do so, she needed to face the people from her past to fully move on from it because she wouldn't let it hold her back anymore. For ten years, she couldn't move on no matter how much she tries. She doesn't want that anymore.
So, she got into her car and drove to her destination. It was a long ride, one that she wished was longer—anything to delay the inevitable. Much to her dismay, she arrived much sooner than she wanted to and in a couple of minutes, she found herself following a man that would take her to the waiting room.
Once in the confines of the place, she took a seat on one of the metal chairs and tapped her foot repeatedly as she waited for the other person to come. It only took about two minutes, and then the door on the other side was opened. She still had her gaze pinned on the table, refusing to look up even as she heard him pull the chair opposite her and settle on it.
For a minute, no words or looks were exchanged between them—Aisha had planned what to say but now that she's there, it's like the words have chosen to disappear, and she couldn't find anything to say.
"Mea Culpa" He uttered the same words he said to her the first time they met, but unlike before, his voice was manlier, gruff...but not the bad type.
Aisha took in a sharp breath, as she turned her head around to look at him for their gaze to meet. He only stared at her for a second, before he looked down—knowing she's someone's wife now; his younger brother's wife. Her heart clenched when he said those words. Unlike before, she now knows what they meant and as such, didn't feel as dumb as she felt back then. Because of that, she doesn't know if she should feel a bit relieved remembering how care-free she was back then, or to hate how her life turned out because he came in.
She looked away too, her gaze fixated on the wall she's facing. She then swallowed thickly, fiddling with her fingers. "I'm not going to ask why you did it" She spoke up, her voice oddly enough coming out strong despite how she was truly feeling. Nonetheless, she sucked it in because she knew she needed to do this. "I guess we're all victims here" She couldn't be selfish, even though she does want to be. However, she's old enough to look at things from all angles.
Salim sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Doesn't justify what I did though" He replied sincerely. "I know an apology will never cut but, I still wanted to say. I am so sorry for everything, Aisha. It was never my intention to hurt you" That guilt...he carried it with him for years.
That was why he made one condition to Aslam in order to turn himself in—that he will be given the chance to speak to Aisha and apologize. That is all, it's his only regret in life.
He didn't agree to cave in when Aslam's late grandfather, the former Chairman of HGH, asked him to testify and pay for his wrongdoings because the man can't give him what he wants—only Aslam can. That's why he left his phone number with the man, only for Aslam and then signed it with A.S—Alex. Salim.
Aisha shrugged slightly, "What's done is done anyway" She took in a deep breath, looking up when she felt tears stinging her eyes. Blowing out a shaky breath she blinked repeatedly. "I'm sorry too" She hadn't done anything to him, but she feels bad for him too. She feels bad that he had to face all that alone because in all honesty, she wasn't the only one hurt because of this. She wasn't the only one life has been unfair too.
Salim had his own share of struggles.
"—I'm sorry your life came crashing down and you had to live, a life like this" Her eyes moved around the visiting room of the penitentiary center they are in. She never thought—well, before her life came crashing that, Salim would end up living a life like this.
His dream was to protect the law, not to break it and end up behind bars instead.
Salim was quick to shake his head. "Please, don't say that" He blew out a breath. "Yes, life has been tough but I was old enough to know the consequences of the decisions I've made. Because of this choice, I've ruined so many lives that I don't even care" Sounds sadistic, but he stopped caring about others when he realized it wouldn't do him any good. The only one he cared about—and felt guilty towards was Aisha because she was just as innocent. "I deserve what I'm getting now, and I'm okay with that"
Aisha sniffed back her tears. Life truly is cruel. She thought, before muttering astagfirullah under her breath. But seriously, she couldn't even bring herself to hate him despite him having a hand in ruining her life. "Still, Salim. You did what you had to do to save your father and if I was in your shoes, I'm certain I would've done the same thing" That isn't even a question that anyone should ask.
She would've done the same thing for the ones she loves in the blink of an eye even if it's wrong.
Salim blew out another shaky breath. He thought she would insult him, and accuse him for ruining her life. He thought she would detest him but here she is, trying to understand where he's coming from. She truly is a good person—one of a kind. "Aisha, from the bottom of my heart, I truly am sorry. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me one day" If he has to apologize for the rest of his life, then so be it.
He would apologize a thousand times and more.
Aisha tightened her hold on her phone, her lips pulled in. She had spent a good part of the past ten years hating him for what he did to her, she couldn't understand why. However, with ten years of fury, and after hearing what his true story is, she couldn't even find the anger in her. The pain, and hurt is still there. However, she still remembers her father's last words clearly.
He didn't want her to hold any grudge—as if he knew a day like this would come.
Deep down, even she was tired of holding the fury in her. She wants it no more. And that's why she's there.
So, she took in a deep breath and then voiced it out. "I forgive you," She said, meaning every word she said.
Salim looked up, his eyes widened. He didn't expect her to forgive him that easily. He was expecting to keep apologizing for a few years before she even spares him a glance. "Y-You do?" The people that know him as Alex will choke hearing him stutter.
Alex doesn't stutter. He became a big drug lord for a reason—and there's still so many people scared of him because he isn't to be messed with.
Aisha offered him a small smile, as she nodded. "Yes" She breathed out. "I forgive you, Salim"
He buried his face in between his palms, relief instantly flooding his being. His eyes sting with unshed tears—and truth be told, he can't remember the last time he was even close to crying. It was probably when he decided to stop feeling sorry for himself and fend no matter what. Nonetheless, that is all in the past now. Even if he will spend the rest of his life behind bars, he will at least be in peace knowing she had forgiven him. "Thank you so, so much, Aisha" He breathed out a deep sigh of relief, as he shook his head. Looking up again, his expression softened. "Thank you" He whispered.
Aisha simply smiled, tightening her hold around her phone as she swallowed thickly.
She's doing this for herself. She's doing it for the life she wants.
And this is the first step.
~*~
Aslam's eyes were blank as he stared at Hajiya Babba who sat opposite him, looking anywhere but at him. Honestly, it took everything in him to go back to his house and meet her—his father and Mami had to call him and give him a long speech for that to happen. He could see the relationship between his father and her is straining, but he's sure they'll get over it eventually.
Not him though. He doesn't think he will ever get over it—even if Aisha does.
She took in a deep breath, deciding to speak up because the silence was killing her. "Aslam--"
"Do you know what Salim said when I met him in Egypt?" He cut her off, his tone monotonous. He had been dying to get the words off his mind but it was harder than he thought. Now that he has gotten the chance to do so, he will do just that.
She looked at him, swallowing thickly as her expression softened.
Aslam nearly scoffed, but he held himself back. He didn't know she was capable of every showing that expression when Salim is involved. Pushing that aside, he pinned her with his gaze. "He refused to tell me what you did to him. For ten years, I hated him thinking he disappeared after ruining so many people's lives. I didn't understand why, and as such, my hatred towards him only grew. But when I finally met him, the last thing I expected was for him to address him as his younger brother—and I knew he didn't just say it because we were close then" He paused, to take in a deep breath as his heart clenched. Only God knows how he felt at the moment—how difficult it was for him.
Hajiya Babba swallowed thickly yet again, clasping her hands softly. She was scared to even breathe in the wrong way in fear of upsetting Aslam further. Somehow, in the back of her mind, she still had the hope that they will mend their relationship one day.
"He told me that you're his mother, but he said nothing about the kind of woman you were towards him. But even if he didn't tell me, I saw the way you treated him. And the part that stunned me was how he said, and I quote; 'No matter what she did Aslam, she still is our mother. I grew up without her, but I'm still glad to have one. Whatever she did, she has her reasons for it'"
She took in a sharp breath, because she never thought Salim would say that about her. She knows she's been a terrible mother to him for absolutely no reason valid, and she feels bad but she will still do it over and over again—to at least keep the family she has at the moment.
As if knowing the thought running through her head, Aslam scoffed lightly, shaking his head as he looked down. He couldn't believe her. Looking up again, this time around he didn't bother to shield away what he was feeling from her. He wanted her to see the pain she caused, "Up until the very end he defended you"
Her eyes welled up, making her look away.
"Can you say you deserve it?" He wanted her to answer herself, but even though she didn't, they both knew the answer. "He defended you after you've never been a mother to him, not once..." He paused again, to take in a breath. He blinked back the tears threatening to well up in his eyes. "...even now I can see it in your eyes that you don't regret it, and that's the sad part" The hatred he felt towards Salim has turned to pity. He felt ashamed that their own mother could do that to him—when he has no fault in this.
She looked down, unable to hold his gaze because she knows it's true.
Aslam smiled bitterly, his eyes slowly becoming red. There were so many things he wanted to say to her over the years that he couldn't bring himself to do so. Now though, he will say it all without hesitation—he will say it to get off his chest once and for all. "You know my biggest fear when he told me that was knowing you could've done that to me, or the twins in we were in his position" He stated, his voice low.
She looked up, instantly shaking her head. "No, Aslam--" She loves them, they are her children—she could never do that to them.
"Don't deny it" He didn't raise his voice, if anything, it was low—too low that she barely caught it. "Salim is your child too, he did absolutely nothing wrong but you treated him as if he meant nothing. Didn't you feel anything at all? I want to understand where you came from but I can't. I can't do that no matter how much I try"
"Aslam--"
He sniffed, clearing his throat as he cut her off. Blinking repeatedly, he kept his emotions in check; no longer willing to listen to her excuses that will only infuriate him. "I know you won't do that, but someday, you should consider dropping by to see him—I'm sure he'll be waiting for you" The kind of heart Salim has stuns Aslam, because he could never do that if it were him. "As for him, I can't say I forgive you since there's nothing to forgive. However, we can never have that mother and son relationship you hope for. You've lost that—you've lost me" He offered her a slightly shrug, and with one last look, he got up and left because he had nothing else to say to her.
He said all he wanted to.
~*~
Aisha returned home feeling as if the weight that has been on her shoulders all these years has been lifted. She found peace in settling her issues with Salim—even if it was hard to do so. She still feels bad for him, especially how he ended up but such is life.
He also apologized about what Hisham did to her. The man apparently found out about her past from him, though not everything which was why he thought she was the one who committed murder instead.
Hisham is truly none of her concern though, because she knows he'll be locked up for a long time which makes him gone from her life hopefully. The only one she feels bad for regarding him, is his wife—thankfully they don't have a child.
He has too many charges on him ranging from dealing with drugs using the hospital, threatening an intern into committing murder simply to get rid of the man who almost exposed him, to hiding the crime and trying to frame someone else for it. As for the intern, Aisha has no idea what happened to her—Taslim said she and the police would handle it and that was the last she heard of it; not that she cares.
They are both out of her life, that's what matters to her.
She is still yet to settle things with Hajiya Babba. The funny fact is how the woman suddenly no longer likes her—the only reason she liked her before is because she was trying to get back on Aslam's good side thinking that by loving his wife, he would have a soft spot for her again. Not knowing that Aisha is still the same woman whom she ruined her life all those years back for something she never got.
Is she ashamed, or is it her ego that's stopping her from apologizing to Aisha—that the girl is yet to know. Perhaps, it's because Hajiya Babba know with or without her apology to Aisha, she had already lost Aslam and she would rather keep her ego than admit she's wrong—not that she regrets it.
Aisha tried to not let it bother her, knowing some people don't just change. She won't say she's forgiven the woman, but she is on her to do so. Maybe, one day.
Besides, patching things up with Salim mattered the most to her over doing so with the woman. And now that she's done with Salim, she has another man to focus on—for the rest of her life. They need to talk things out first though.
She noticed when she came back that his car wasn't there, so she ruled it out as he'd stepped out too. Nonetheless, she went to her room and changed out of the stuffy outfit into something more comfortable before heading to the kitchen—deciding to cook something for them before he returns.
Before she started, she logged into her Spotify account and played one of her numerous playlists. Don't Give up on Me by Andy Grammer played just as she concluded the dish she was making. Her head swayed as she muttered the lyrics under her breath. She had always loved cooking, even though she barely gets time to do so because of work. When she gets time to do so though, it takes her mind off whatever is bothering her. And aside from it, the songs did help lift her mood too.
"'Cause I'm not givin' up, I'm not givin' up, givin' up no not yet. Even when I'm down to my last breath" Would it be right to say at that point she's having a mini concert? Yes, and her spatula was her mike—the cutleries were the audience. It was that moment when the song hits the soul, and you feel like you're in the spotlight. Yes, that moment. "Even when they say there's nothin' left, so don't give up on; I'm not givin' up, I'm not givin' up, givin' up no not me. Even when nobody else believes—Aslam!"
Aslam rose his hand up and offered her a small wave, his expression amused. Bringing the hand down, he crossed them over his torso while he remained leaning on the wall by the entrance. "Oh, don't stop. Please, continue. I was enjoying the show" It was that small, teasing smirk that got to her more.
Caught in between being embarrassed and feeling annoyed, she annoyed her eyes at him fighting to hold back the blush. But it feels like even the blush had a mind of its own, and her cheeks heated up.
I'm not goin' down that easily
So don't give up on me.
She cleared her throat awkwardly, forcing herself to act as though her cheeks weren't coated a light shade of red. Looking away, her eyes met anywhere but his. Personally, she knows she isn't the best singer out there—there was a time once that Jannah told her she sounds like a dying frog when she's singing.
Now that she remembers that, imagine how she feels.
Swallowing thickly, she turned away and placed the spatula where it belongs. "I didn't realize you're back" She stated, clearing her throat again. She extended her now free hand to turn off the song, because the last thing she needs is a background music to make the moment movie-worthy.
"I'm sure you didn't" He wasn't making the situation better—it's obvious he wants to laugh but he's holding himself back. "But seriously, continue. It's nice to get your own concert at home...just not with the Ariana Grande voice"
At this point, Aisha would dig a grave and bury herself to put an end to the embarrassment. With so much struggle, she put on a blank face and turn to look at him. "Just go get changed and come back let's eat" She tried to use her 'serious' voice.
To make matters worse, he shrugged whilst chuckling lightly. "Whatever you say, Aisha Grande" And with that, he disappeared.
Once he was out of sight, Aisha silently screamed. This was not how she expected things to be. Why can't Aslam for once keep his mouth shut and walk away. To begin with, when did the Aslam she knew back then, the Romeo who couldn't even admit his feelings become so cheeky.
For a moment, she knew she was getting a taste of her own medicine.
So this is how he felt when she laughed at him all those years back for being rejected? Technically, no one dumped her so it's not the same situation, but Aslam enjoys making fun of her it seems—and she wants to strangle him for it.
Jokes intended...not.
Shaking her head vigorously to get rid of the thought, she decided to get the plates and cutlery they'd use and take it to the living room. She just prefers to sit down and eat there rather than sit at the dining—it feels so odd to her, and personally, she just isn't a fan of it. Thankfully, Aslam isn't too so she'd glad for that.
He came back all changed and helped her get the rest needed quietly. He came back after meeting Hajiya Babba, and his mood was definitely ruined. However, seeing her and her mini concert lifted his mood more than he realized-even despite the situation they are in.
It's been a few days since he'd seen her that care-free, since he told her the truth. She had been avoiding him as she gathered her thoughts. Now, that she is even talking to him, he could only take it as a good sign. Even if she will go back to not talking to him, he would at least enjoy that moment.
Quietly, they both ate the food and once they were done, they did the dishes together—another thing Aisha detests is leaving dishes to pill up. Much to Aslam's surprise, when they were done, she asked him if they could talk to which he agreed because he wouldn't miss on a chance to possibly patch things up.
They both sat on a sofa, facing each other. He quietly waited for her to say something first, having the impression she'd want to start since she was the one who asked him to talk.
Taking a deep breath, she did just that. "I met Salim earlier"
Aslam nodded slowly, already knowing that. She did ask for his permission before going out so he knows she met the man. And besides, he promised Alex he'd let her talk to him since that was all he asked of him.
"—We talked and we're okay now. I understand where he came from and I don't want to live my life holding grudges. What happened was meant to happen anything, my anger won't change that so I've chosen to leave it in the past. I'm going to move on."
He offered her an encouraging smile. He was proud of her, and at the same, he wanted her kind of strength and will. If only he could do the same with his mother...someday.
"For that to happen though, Aslam; we need to fix whatever is going on between us" Her expression softened, as her eyes met his. "I want us to start our marriage on the right path, no secrets, pain, grudges whatsoever. Let's make this work" She wouldn't want to lose her marriage because of this.
She wants to be with Aslam, forever.
Honestly, she can't see herself with any other man.
Aslam's smile widened slightly, as she reached his hand out to take hers, offering it a small squeeze. "I want us to work this out too, Aisha; I really want to" He said sincerely. "And you're right, it's better to start this on the right path—that's why I'm glad I was able to tell you the truth because I couldn't hold it in anymore. Aisha, I'm so sorry--"
"No, Aslam...please, stop apologizing" She cut him off softly, "If anything, I should thank you because you did your best to help. And besides, you had nothing to do with this. It's not your fault" She had thought it through, and she doesn't think she could ever blame Aslam for this.
If anything, he also carried the guilt with him all these years when he did nothing wrong.
He shook his head, "But I still kept it from you. It's been two years since we met again, and I had so many chances to tell you, I didn't" He released a deep breath, his thumb caressing the back of her hand as he looked down at their hands together. Smiling softly, he added. "You know, the first time I saw you two years ago, even without knowing you're the same Aisha I knew all those years back—you still caught my attention then"
"Because I said you're getting married?" She teased lightly.
He grinned, nodding. "Yes. I thought, 'who is this woman claiming I'm getting married?' Because as far as I know, I didn't know anything about me getting married" He stated, making them both chuckle lightly. "You're the first person at HGH that made an impression on me then, and you immediately caught my attention. I found myself wanting to know you more"
Maybe, if Aisha knew he was in the elevator that day—then she wouldn't have ranted the way she did. If anything, she would've zipped her lips shut. Just thinking about it now made her feel second hand embarrassment.
God, how did she sound in front of him then?
"—And then I saw you at the first CS meeting I attended, I recognized you instantly" His grin widened at the memory. "But you know what, when I found out your name is Aisha, you started to remind of this girl I knew and fell for all those years ago. It's been long, but I could still remember bits of how you look and truth be told, you look the same—only way more beautiful"
Aisha couldn't say she remembers how he looked back then, she was only fourteen and it has been thirteen years already. As for him, well, he was older than her so his memory as an eighteen-year-old was different from a thirteen-year-old.
"—I wasn't sure though, and I wanted to confirm it. So, I sent you those white roses" That was the deal breaker for him. The look on her face that day was the certainty he needed to know it is her. It came crashing down on him, and to be honest, he didn't know whether to feel scared or relieved then. For one he was happy to see she had grown into a lovely woman, with a good life. He was curious to how it happened though.
Much to his astonishment, Hajiya Babba had to tell him that day that she likes Aisha, and that she thinks she seems 'nice'. For a moment, he wondered whether she knew of Aisha's identity but it didn't seem like it. He couldn't risk it though, so he kept it to himself despite his original plan of talking to her about it that day.
Aisha swallowed thickly, remembering how she felt then. "I was so scared when I got them" She said earnestly, her expression dropping. I didn't want any reminder of my past. But when I got those roses, I knew it has to be you—well, the you I knew years back. I never expected you to be the same person" She remembers looking around, hoping to see anyone out of the ordinary but she couldn't spot a thing.
What she didn't know was that he was there, watching her expression quietly. She didn't notice him, and even if she did, he doubts she would've been suspicious of him since it didn't seem like she recognizes him.
"I guess I was just scared of my past catching up to me. I didn't want to meet anyone from my past" She shrugged slightly. "I'm glad I did now though. Running from it wouldn't have taken me anywhere. It would be better to face everything. I know you have your questions too"
"Do you want to talk about it?" He inquired, wanting to know if she will be comfortable telling him what happened to her after then. He is curious as to how she ended up in the care of the Al-Sayeds.
She offered him a small smile, nodding. "Yes. I need to do this" She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or him, but she's ready to get over this phase of her life—and to do that, she'll need to confess what she has been holding in all these years. "So..."
~*~
Two more chapters people!
I don't even know what to say today. Sha sha, lemme carry my legs and go.
That Hajiya Babba sha, I don't even know what to do with her. I don't think she'll ever change.
Su Hisham kuma Allah yayi an tahi frizun. Toh masha Allah.
My Aslam and Aisha will get their happy ending anyway.
And no, I didn't forget about Jannah and Abdallah. I want to wash my slippers with kilin first sai in tahi neman yahiya. Kunsan abun ne sai dai shiri kar inje in bada ku.
Anyways, byeeeee.
Love, Jannah.