Sanna
Lumi and Tom had argued about something, and now both of them were sleeping, or at least pretending to sleep, on opposite sides of the camp, with their kinnlings. Lumi was curled up against Jinni, holding tightly to him as if she expected he would disappear again.
Sanna and Katja were sitting by the fire, watching it burn low. They were silent for a long time, so that the only noise was the crackling of the fire and the occasional hoot of a winter owl. Sanna knew that one of them would break this silence eventually. Which of them was the most stubborn?
"Your father told me you'd gone with him to the lake," Katja said, finally, and Sanna had a fleeting sense of victory that she'd won the stand off, as if there was anything to gain from being the one who remained silent for longer.
"I didn't even think it over, Sanna. I didn't even consider that he would lie. I just believed him. Because all I could think about was Raphael. I spent weeks over winter in the palace just sitting in the garden with Helvig. When I cried my teardrops froze on my face."
Sanna wanted to sneer at the romanticism that Katja tried to imbue into her own grief. Of course she couldn't just say that she had been sad. She needed to lament over frozen teardrops on her face. But Sanna didn't sneer. She had never sneered at Katja. She had always been the princess's confidant in all things, and had never betrayed her feelings.
"I thought it was the will of the gods that Raph and I would be married," Katja continued. "I should have known it was just too perfect. We were in love and we were young and we would have had the world between us."
Sanna turned away from the princess and looked back into the fire. She should have known that Katja would turn the conversation back to her boyfriend.
"We talked about that, over summer in Vulfholm when he visited last year. We imagined what a future would look like if he was King of Lombardia and I was Queen of Norrlund. We made plans. We even wrote out everything we could think of. We were dizzy with the power of it. You have no idea how much we imagined it."
Sanna looked up at Katja, and saw the memories shining in her eyes. Or perhaps it was just the light of the fire, reflecting. Sanna noticed for the first time that Katja's hair was tied up in braids. Had she learned to do it herself?
"We drank strawberry wine and sat in the summer sunlight and I would lie in his lap and we would imagine a time when the two of us ruled the whole world," Katja continued. She was looking down at her hands now.
"We would be such benevolent leaders. We would be everything that our parents have failed to be. Raphael told me of his plans to reestablish partnerships with Vastier. He was sick of the corruption in Vastier and he blamed his father's neglect. If Lombardia and Vastier once again created a strong partnership, then Vastier could be returned to its former glory. Lombardia could be strong enough to weed out the corrupt warlords of Vastier. And I told him of my plans to restore the riches of Norrlund, and end the poverty from the Fire War. We could use the new trade routes with Vastier to create a new age, a stronger age than even the Ocean Age, where progress and invention flourished."
Katja paused and looked up at Sanna. "Raph talked to me about technology. He knew that the steam engines weren't the future. He wanted to create flying ships, like they have in Kakaio. He told me to imagine if they could be run by common ords, instead of starrlings. There would be so much more potential, if ships could be run without magic. I realise now that he was speaking about using the oil from the icelands. I guess he never mentioned that. But I loved the idea of the common people having power. Even if they weren't born with magic, we could give them power with technology."
Sanna was quiet as she listened to Katja. But she was truly listening to her for the first time. This wasn't the Katja she knew, who spoke of Raphael as her darling prince who took her to the opera and sent her strings of pearls. This was a Katja who dreamed of a brighter future for her people. It was a Katja that Sanna had never known.
"We thought through everything," Katja went on. "And I know you won't believe me, because you think I'm selfish and I only ever think for myself. But all that Raphael and I spoke about... it was for the people, Sanna. It was always for the people of Norrlund and Lombardia. Because I didn't want children to grow up in my nation and sleep on the streets, like you did when you were a child."
"I believe you," Sanna said quietly.
Katja looked down at her hands again. "I don't know if I can do it all alone."
Sanna remained silent, waiting for Katja to continue. The fire crackled.
"Everything we spoke about," Katja said. "It seemed so easy when we were drinking strawberry wine. It seemed so easy because I knew that I would do it with him at my side. We could rebuild the whole world, together. But now that he's gone, I don't know if I can do it all by myself."
Sanna imagined what she could say at this moment. She imagined an empty platitude. She could tell Katja that she wouldn't be alone. That she'd have someone by her side. She could even tell Katja that Sanna would stand by her side. Or she could tell Katja that she was strong enough to do it alone.
"If you believe in this," Sanna said delicately. "Then you will do it, no matter how difficult. To give up would be an insult to his memory. But more importantly, it would be an insult to your people."
Katja's gaze flashed up to meet Sanna's, and Sanna held it.
"And what will you do, Sanna?" Katja asked. "For so long you have been behind me. But now I finally see that you need to stand on your own. But will you stand beside me, or will you stand against me?"
"At the moment, I just want to make sure that Ari is safe."
"What's going on with you two?" Katja asked.
"Nothing."
Katja gave her a level look, and Sanna averted her gaze and looked into the fire.
"She's your ward," Sanna said. "Don't you care about her?"
"We'll find her in the morning. You saw her. She was angry. And she's right, she deserves to be angry. I expect she'll have some valiant plan to go to Vulfholm and turn herself into my mother to try to stop a war. We'll let her blow off her steam tonight and tomorrow we'll find her and remind her that she's not a martyr."
"What if something happens to her?"
"She's got a bloodthirsty dragon," Katja said. "That beast is dangerous. And there's nothing out here but forest. She got all the way to Kakaio, didn't she? She'll survive one night on her own."
Sanna still felt restless, and she considered waking Sigrún and setting out into the darkness to find Ari. But Sigrún wasn't so good of a tracker, and Sanna worried they would get lost.
And there was another thing that was nagging at the back of Sanna's mind.
Ari was safe now, away from Kakaio. She had done her duty, to bring Jinni back to Lumi, and now Katja would protect her. Which meant that Sanna didn't need to look after her any more.
If she wanted, she could run. She could set off in the middle of the night, just as Ari had, and go back to General Virani.
It was what she had always meant to do. Now that Ari was safe... there was nothing keeping Sanna here. She didn't need to follow Katja for the rest of her life. She could be her own person. She could claim her Kaio heritage. She could follow her mother's footsteps.
Maybe, she could even marry Tai.
Sanna remembered the hurt in Ari's voice.
But Ari was just a ward. An orphan of the Fire War. She didn't even have a wolf. She had nothing, except an ability to memorise poetry and a brilliant mind for history and politics.
"I'm going to sleep," Katja announced, and left Sanna by herself, staring into the fire.
Sanna had two choices.
She could run back to Tai, who would give her the world. A burning world, but a world nonetheless.
Or she could follow her heart, and give up all semblance of power.
... to be continued
let me know in the comments - what do you want Sanna to do?
hope you have a lovely week! xx elle