"YOU SEEM A little out of it today, Dan," Susannah comments as she looks between me and the canvas in front of her. "Something wrong?"
Right after things went bad between me and Jeremiah two years ago, Susannah was the first person I wanted to tell. Because it's Susannah, you know? She doesn't judge and she definitely doesn't berate you for whatever you did. I knew she would understand where I was coming from and guide me through it all, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her.
Even now, after what happened last night with Jeremiah, I find myself wanting to tell Susannah about it. Ask for her opinion and advice, but I can't. I won't.
I force a smile. "I'm just tired from the party."
If she detects any trace of a lie in my statement, she doesn't point it out. She just nods and smiles back at me as she paints me for a few more peaceful moments. Then, she looks up at me and sends me a really suspicious grin. Red flags start going off in my head. This isn't going to be good.
"Hey, why don't you go in and get Jeremiah?"
My eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at what Susannah just said. "What?"
She raises a brow. "I have this idea. I really want to paint the two of you together. It would be so much fun, don't you think?"
I know what she's doing. Or trying to do at least. This idea she has is to get me and Jeremiah back on good terms. What she doesn't know is that if it really was that easy, I would have tried it a long time ago.
"Susannah, I don't think—"
"C'mon, Dani. Please? For me?"
I sigh. She definitely knows what she's doing.
I get up and she shoots me an appreciative smile before she goes back to brush strokes on the canvas. Jeremiah has been in his room pretty much all day. The only time I saw him was when he was coming back from work. The whole time we were in the same room once he got back, he avoided my eyes. I was confused at first because I didn't remember what had happened between us.
And then I did.
I can't stop myself from thinking about it no matter how badly I want to. I'm still trying to process what happened. It just doesn't make sense. The way he was looking at me last night—I just keep picturing his half-lidded eyes, staring at me with an emotion I can't quite decipher.
But we were both drunk. It didn't mean anything. It's not like anything really happened, anyway. I don't even know what happened.
Climbing up the stairs, I slow down once I reach his door. I exhale softly and then knock twice, holding my breath anxiously as I wait for him to answer. I hear shuffling behind the door before it swings open to reveal a shirtless Jeremiah.
Both of our eyes seem to widen at the same time, his because I haven't been to his room in two years and mine because he's not wearing a shirt and I feel like I'm about to pass out.
"What are you doing here?"
I clear my throat and take a step back as if that's going to help with how fast my heart is beating.
"Susannah asked me to come get you. She wants to paint both of us at the same time."
He furrows his eyebrows and assesses me for a second before he spins around to go back into his room. I think for sure that he's just going to ignore me and go back to whatever it is that he was doing before, but he comes back out with a Taylor Swift shirt from the reputation era.
A shirt that I got for him years ago.
He doesn't even spare me a glance before moving past me down the stairs. I stand frozen in place, blinking repeatedly. What is he playing at here?
We have this inside joke about Taylor Swift and her albums. I've always been a fan, while Jeremiah always denied having anything to do with her music. One day, I caught him listening to "Treacherous" and dancing in his room while it played. I exposed him and he admitted that he liked Red, but that was the only album he liked.
After reputation came out, it was my absolute favorite album she had ever released. I made Jeremiah listen to it, and he said it could never compare to Red. He got super defensive and I found that funny, so I got him a reputation shirt for his birthday.
I hadn't expected him to still have that shirt.
When I realize I'm still standing in the same place, I quickly walk back downstairs and outside just as Jeremiah steps out after opening the door. Susannah beams when she sees us. I don't think I've ever seen her smile like that before.
Jeremiah's lips tug up as he hugs Susannah. I catch myself staring at his mouth and quickly look away.
"Great, you guys are here," Susannah exclaims excitedly, her eyes crinkling at the corners with how wide her grin is. She claps her hands together. "Aw, you guys look so cute next to each other."
Jeremiah shoves his hand in his pockets. I offer Susannah a weak smile.
"So, where do you want us?" Jeremiah asks, breaking the sudden awkward tension, although Susannah must not have noticed.
"Here, sit down together," she instructs, pointing out where we should sit down.
We follow her lead and leave a decent amount of space between us when we take a seat. Susannah sits down on her stool before she suddenly gets back up.
"Oh! I need another canvas. I'll be right back."
Gaping at her, I almost fall from where I'm sitting. Jeremiah stands up immediately.
"I can get it for you, Mom. Sit down."
She shakes her head right away. "No, no. It's fine. I need some exercise anyway. Stay put and don't move!" She says it with a tiny smirk on her face.
I glare at her retreating back. Jeremiah is still standing, and I see him clench his fist tight enough so that his knuckles turn white. After a few seconds of him probably contemplating his life choices, he sighs and sits down with his body slightly turned away from me.
We sit in silence. I stretch my legs out in front of me and look up at the clouds. Maybe he doesn't remember what happened. He was drunk too. I hope he doesn't remember. Then again, I hope he does since I want him to explain everything, but he wouldn't say anything even if he did remember.
He lets out a scoff, but it's soft and sounds like it was meant in a joking manner. I turn to look at him only to find him already staring at me. We regard each other for a moment, staying quiet. His face is peaceful right now, more so than I've seen it in ages. He isn't glaring at me or frowning or anything really. He's just staring at me. As if trying to find out where the last piece of the puzzle belongs.
"You still don't know how to tie your shoes." It's a statement, not a question.
I look down and see that my shoes are loosely tied but aren't done properly. They're already coming out. I can feel the heat creep up my neck.
"I know how to tie them. I just didn't have time."
Jeremiah raises an amused brow and crosses his arms. "Show me."
I choke on my own spit. "What?"
He leans in slightly closer so our heads are parallel. "Show me you can tie your shoes."
I scoff in disbelief and glare at him. I've never really learned how to tie my shoes. When we were younger, Jeremiah always made fun of me for not being able to tie them, but he always helped me afterward. I think I just never learned because I knew I could always count on him to tie them for me.
Wanting to prove him wrong even though he's right, I pick up one of my feet and rest it on the edge of the seat. I untie the laces and attempt to tie them again, but I mess up. I start over again and again but can't do it. I groan and Jeremiah stifles a laugh, so I turn to shoot him a death glare.
He rolls his eyes and gets up. Kneeling in front of me, he pulls on my calf so that my foot slides back down to the ground. My gaze is fixated on him, my breathing slow. His hand is warm against my skin as his palm holds my bare calf.
Slowly, his hand slides down my leg to my shoe. He carefully takes the laces in his hands and ties them tightly. Then, he does the same for my other shoe. His eyebrows pinch slightly, a focused look on his face. When he's done, his hand comes up behind my ankle and he taps it twice to signal that he's done. It's something he always did before after he had finished tying my laces.
He looks up at me, his eyes clouded. Our gazes lock, and I wish I could take this moment and hide it inside a bottle for me to look at whenever I want.
"You're too stubborn for your own good," he states with a small smile on his beautiful face.
I scoff. "Well, you're way too cocky for your own good."
"Oh, am I?" He raises his eyebrow as his grin gets wider.
I let out a light chuckle, and his smile turns soft. His hands, one of which is still around my ankle, come up only to land on either side of my thighs. He leans his head closer up to mine. My breath hitches.
"How?" he whispers, his nose lightly brushing mine.
I hum in response, not quite understanding the question. He lets out a chuckle.
"How am I cocky?"
I don't answer. I've never seen this side of Jeremiah before, and I wonder if this is how he seduces other girls and guys. The thought pulls me out of my trance, but I can't bring myself to move away from him.
He starts to move in closer. I almost tell him to stop because I know he doesn't really mean what he's doing or saying right now, but it's impossible for me to do when he's this close.
Then, his gaze drops down to my chest and his eyebrows knit together. He pulls away from me quickly after that and stands up. He hurriedly walks away, and I'm so shocked about what just happened that I just sit there frozen.
What the fuck?
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !
i'm in love with taylor swift. that's all i have to say.