I WALK HOME by myself after telling Susannah I'm not feeling well. She offered to drive me, but I told her I just wanted to walk. After what happened with Jeremiah and what he had said, I really didn't think I could stay there any longer. I need some time to just think and forget about my pathetic life for a while.
For a while, I just walk around. I breathe in the fresh, summer air only Cousins can produce. The breeze is so familiar. It's like an old friend I haven't seen in years, and when I do, nothing has changed between us.
I decide to walk down the trail of the beach and sit down in the sand. The ocean looms in the distance, the moon's light reflecting onto its unsteady surface. It's all so painfully the same, and yet, everything has changed. I no longer feel like the carefree teenage girl I used to be. The one who lived without regrets and did whatever the hell she wanted whenever the hell she felt like it.
When did everything get so fucked up?
I stay there in the sand for maybe an hour. I don't keep count. When I finally get back home, no one is there. I fall asleep before anyone else comes back.
✧ ✦ ✧
I WAKE UP earlier than usual because my sister is turning sixteen today. When I get downstairs, it turns out I'm not as early as I thought. Everyone apart from Belly is already down. Mom and Steven are making Mickey Mouse pancakes for Belly while Susannah gets the table ready. Conrad is sitting down with Jeremiah standing on his other side.
I do my best to ignore him. Obviously, my best isn't enough.
Walking over to Conrad, I ruffle his hair. He doesn't look up, but I see him roll his eyes and I chuckle to myself lightly. I say good morning to everyone and then walk over to help with the pancakes. As I'm flipping them in the pan, I feel someone's eyes on me.
Before I can turn around to look at him, Belly enters the kitchen. "Morning, everyone."
There's a chatter that breaks out as everyone says happy birthday to her. Susannah hugs her first, and I follow behind to hug her. I guess Jeremiah has the same idea.
As we're walking up to Belly, we're about to bump into each other. I sidestep at the last second when I see where I'm going, and he stares at me. I look back at him briefly before I turn to Belly and give her a huge smile.
Hugging her, I say, "Happy birthday, shithead."
"Thanks, asshole."
We pull away and she grins at me brightly. I beam back at her and then move away so that Jeremiah can hug her. I look away when he does.
"Your Micky Mouse pancakes are ready," Mom tells Belly after she hugs her and wishes her a happy birthday.
"Actually, I'm not really hungry," she replies.
"Oh."
I frown and look over at Conrad who doesn't meet my eyes.
"Shall we open gifts?" Susannah suggests, easing the awkward tension.
"Oh," Jeremiah exclaims with a happy smile. "You're gonna love mine."
He looks at her in such a loving way that I feel like just curling up into a ball and never getting up. I see the shy smile on Belly's face and I bite the inside of my cheek hard enough so that there's a metallic taste in my mouth. Maybe Belly and Jeremiah really are meant to be.
We all head over to the living room, and Belly opens all her gifts. Mom gets her a book of poems with Susannah's favorite on the bookmarked page. We laugh as we recite the poem Susannah taught us so long ago.
Susannah gives Belly a pearl necklace matching the one I got from her last year on my sixteenth birthday. I smile when Susannah clasps the necklace around her neck. It looks so pretty on her.
When it is Jeremiah's turn to give his gift, I hold my breath. Belly unwraps a small box and peers inside. She smiles widely and pulls out a small key charm. My eyes widen slightly before I pull myself together.
"It's a good luck charm to help you pass your driving test," Jeremiah explains as she attaches the charm to her bracelet and shakes it around. I guess we really do think alike.
"Perfect." There's a wide grin on her face. "Thank you."
I force myself to look down at the present I'm holding instead of at the lopsided smile on Jeremiah's face as he stares at Belly. I wish he would look at me like that.
Steven gets Belly a Princeton sweater, which leads to a conversation about Steven applying to Princeton. I quickly hand Belly my gift, avoiding Jeremiah's stare when Belly opens it.
It's a four-leaf clover charm for her bracelet.
Belly and I have this inside joke about finding four-leaf clovers. We used to look every summer to try to find one for whatever it was we needed luck on during that time. I remember this one summer, Belly really wanted the boys to let her go with them and their friends to a pool party. We searched all day for a clover, and when we did find one, the boys still hadn't let her go. That night, I let her sleep in my room and we watched a bunch of movies and ate a lot of ice cream.
She instantly smiles once she sees the charm. "Aw, Dani. I love it. Thank you."
I smile back at her. Jeremiah scoffs lightly enough so that I'm the only one who hears it. I turn my head to look at him and he glares back at me. I roll my eyes and look at Conrad, who is the only one left to give his present.
"Sorry, I forgot."
I narrow my eyes at him. There is no way Conrad forgot Belly's birthday. Conrad, of all people. When I see Belly's face fall, I want to punch Conrad.
"Uh, that's... that's cool." Belly smiles as if it's no big deal, but I know that it is. "I wasn't really expecting anything anyway, so..."
I frown. Conrad meets my eyes for a second but gets up soon after saying that he has to help Cleveland with sailing stuff today. He leaves, and I stare at Belly sadly.
Suddenly, Jeremiah brightens. "Hey, why don't we take my car and practice driving before we have to pick up Taylor from the bus station."
The corners of Belly's lips turn up slightly. "Sure. Dani, will you come?"
Jeremiah clears his throat the second she asks, and I know it's his way of telling me to say no.
"I don't know, Belly." As much as I don't want to give in to Jeremiah's wishes, I also don't want to be stuck in the car with him.
"Come on, Dan. You said you would take me driving. Please? It's my birthday."
I sigh quietly and then give her a smile. "Alright, fine."
She smiles for real then, while Jeremiah just sits glaring at the floor.
✧ ✦ ✧
BELLY AND JEREMIAH are chatting the entire time while I'm sitting in the backseat of the car silently. Belly tries to involve me in the conversation, but I don't say much. I catch Jeremiah looking at me through the rearview mirror a couple of times, but I keep to myself mostly.
Belly mentions how she feels like the side character when she's with Taylor, and I get it. Taylor is the type of girl everyone wants to be around and be friends with. Don't get me wrong, I love Taylor like a sister, but she can be overbearing at times.
Just as I'm about to comfort Belly, Jeremiah jumps in. "It's your birthday, and you're the main character, Belly. Not her."
Belly sends him a soft smile. "Thanks, Jere."
The car suddenly swerves, and I grip the headrest in front of me. My heart pounds in my chest once Belly slows the car down a bit.
"Jeez, Belly," I say as I shake my head.
"We're gonna need a part two to this driving lesson, okay?"
They laugh with each other, and I feel like the odd one out. I look out the window and see the beach on the other side. A figure is standing there with something in their hand, and they seem familiar. I widen my eyes in recognition.
"Belly," I interrupt their conversation. "Stop the car."
"What? Why?"
"Just stop the car for a sec."
She pulls over, and I push the door open to get out. Before I close it, I look at Belly who is looking at me with a confused expression on her face.
"I'll meet you back at the house later."
"Where are you going, though?"
"To see a friend. Tell Taylor I said hi."
I glance over at Jeremiah, but he's looking over in the distance at the figure.
I close the door and walk over to where Adrian is standing with a tiny grin on his face and a small flower in his hands. There's a young girl no older than maybe seven or eight. He hands her the flower, and she shyly smiles and then runs away with it. He lets out a soft laugh.
"She's cute."
He turns and grins when he sees that it's me. "Yeah, she is."
I come to a stop right in front of him. "Hey."
"Hey."
"Look, I'm sorry about last night," I apologize because I really do feel bad about it. "I have no idea what got into him, and—"
"Dani," he cuts me off. "No need to stress. We're good."
I raise my eyebrows. "Really?"
He nods and holds out his pinky. "Promise."
My mouth tilts into a half smile and I intertwine our pinkies.
"You wanna see a trick?" he asks bashfully.
"Of course."
He turns half of his body and when he turns back, he pulls a flower seemingly out of nowhere.
"That's so fake!" I exclaim, moving closer to inspect his clothes.
He gasps in fake offense. "No, it is not. I'll have you know Houdini is my great great great grandfather."
"Is he really?" I ask sarcastically, crossing my arms.
He's quiet for a moment and then says, "Nah, I'm kidding." We laugh and he hands me the flower, which I accept. "Hey, you wanna go to this cool florist shop with me? I've been meaning to go for a while but haven't had time."
I nod eagerly. "Yeah, sure. You're into flowers?"
He smiles enthusiastically. "Yeah. My older sister has a small shop back home. She's always loved flowers and plants and nature and all, so eventually, she got me into it too."
"Wow," I hum. "That's cool."
As we walk toward the shop, Adrian's carefree nature spreads to me. He seems like a genuinely nice guy, and I like spending time with him. I forget all about Jeremiah and my stupid ex once we get to the shop. He points out the different flowers and tells me funny made-up stories about them. For the first time in a while, I don't have to fake a laugh.
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !
ok so i made some changes. dani and jere were both originally 16 but i realized that it's kinda weird that she and belly are the same age at the same time, so dani and jere are both gonna be 17 already.