I originally had music for this, but youtube wasn't cooperating. I'll add it down the road.
song for this chapter is You Give Love A Bad Name.
Harry Styles
And just like that, Av. I saw you tonight. You were there, standing next to me, under those fluorescent purple light like you never changed. You've always been here. You were feeling things, I know you were. And that is why I'm never going to give up on you. No matter how much you may pull away and tell me to give up, I know you will break. You're Aven. You're always going to be Aven.
She weaves through the street in a timely pace, heading back towards the area we came from. I follow her, not next to her, but behind. I don't say a word and neither does she. She knows I'm following her. She knows I'm always following her. Our silent walk gives me so much time to think about tonight. I sense this infinite feeling right now. As I walk through this loud clustered street, I feel untouchable. I'm in one of the best moods I've been in for a while. She has that much of an effect on me.
Approaching a less crowded bar, she makes a harsh turn in through the open door. She doesn't bother turning around to see if I'm following because she knows I am. I turn to the same doorway, it glows a fluorescent green.
The greenly-lit entrance immediately takes her down a graffitied flight of stairs where a few people hang around along the concrete walls. Aven descends half the steps, meeting a landing that turns a corner to more steps. Instead of finishing the rest of the way, she turns around and peers up at me still at the entrance. Standing there in another black dress that ends at her thighs, a devilish smile arches up her lips as she watches me walk closer down the concrete steps. The music gets louder, the green covers our skin.
She's so beautiful.
Sometimes it just hits me so hard.
A gaze to her beauty, I step down on the same landing and can't help but use my body to press her into the graffitied wall behind her. Air running tight between us, I snake one hand to the side of her neck and the other on his lower back. She looks up at me with our faces an inch apart. I rub the side of her neck while keeping the hold, gazing at every aspect of her green-devoured face.
"You love it when I chase, don't you?" I whisper under the music, leaning into the side of her head. "You love knowing I'm always going to follow you."
I dip my head down against her neck, breathing in her scent until it carves me lightheaded with appetite. She doesn't answer as I pull her closer to me by my hand on her lower back, arching her off the wall and parting my desperate lips against her neck for a taste. Holding the other side, I kiss down her arch and shoulder. She's flavoured like such a sweet poison. The green-lit stairwell of a random bar serves the most meticulous place to get tangled in her ropes.
Her head cocks back as I dip my mouth down to the base of her throat, dragging my flattened tongue up and veering to the left of her jaw. She smiles a pant into the air, drawing her leg up so it rubs alluringly against my crotch. The relief I feel with the slight touch makes me stifle into her neck.
"You're just wrapped around my finger, aren't you?" She whispers in ease, grabbing my hips and rubbing them with intention.
I nod into her neck while my lips continue to pant against her skin, lacing up to her ear and tugging on the lobe with my teeth. The body heat scorching between us is making me weak to my cravings.
Her hand slowly moves from my hip and towards the bulge in my jeans. In a sudden motion, she grabs my cock through the material and squeezes tight enough to make my eyes pop out of my head. I buck my knees, pulling away from her neck and meeting her eyes with my jaw open and eyebrows creased submissively in pain. She stares down at me from my altered height due to my slight buckled stance, smiling sadistically.
"Don't be so desperate, sweetheart." She whispers, flipping that switch again.
"Okay okay!" I plead in mercy, slapping the wall twice next to her head.
She releases her grip so I can breathe, turning away and continuing down the last few steps into the bar. I stay in spot, holding the wall with my head down until the pain goes away.
I knew it wasn't that easy.
I straighten up and follow her into the room, slow music blaring. The first thing I notice is a small stage at the back, someone standing on it with a spotlight and a microphone, lip syncing to some random sad song. Half of the bar pays attention at their tables while the other half are lost in their own conversations.
I turn my head back straight and see Aven already at the bar, bent over the counter on her elbows and talking to a middle-aged bartender. The way he smiles at her with a towel on his shoulder tells me she's flirting. I roll my eyes and walk up next to her on an empty stool, rubbing my crotch to ease the tenderness.
The bartender walks away while Aven takes her seat, crossing one leg over and folding her arms on the counter. Her eyes examine all the memorabilia up the walls in this old bar, taking in every sign, every bottle, every picture, every crack in the wall.
I sit facing her, propping my head up from my elbow and just watching her as she watches everything else. There's a lot of middle-aged men in this bar, everyone's drinking a pitcher of beer. I guess this is a good place to stay hidden, I'm sure nobody would know who I am here.
"So, Mariana has yet to find her Prince Charming?" I begin.
She shrugs, keeping her eyes on everything behind the bar. "Patrick didn't seem that bad."
I laugh. "He's not your type."
"And how would you know?"
"Because instead of sipping champagne to a $300 dinner with him, you're sitting in a washed up bar with me."
"Don't get ahead of yourself," she chuckles with disbelief. "I'm at a bar and you just happen follow my every move."
I smirk, "Whatever makes you feel better, angel."
Her eyes finally peer to mine but the contact is short-lived when the bartender brings a bunch of shots on a platter. I count six.
"I can kiss you right now, Cedric." She thanks him, somehow on a first name basis.
He smirks and turns his head to the side, gesturing a kiss. Aven leans forward over the counter and gives him one exaggerated smooch on the cheek so some of her lipstick stains his skin. He smiles and walks over to serve more customers.
"Alright," She starts dishing them out between us. "Three and three, you're welcome."
Eyes darting to the shots, I keep the small smile on my face and just slowly shake my head.
"You don't want them?" She furrows her brows.
"I'm alright, thanks." I decline.
She shrugs and picks one up.
"More for me I guess." She tosses one back easy, not even making a face like she use too. I always remember how extreme her face would scrunch up when taking shots, she really hated doing them. But now I watch her quiet face as she easily hammers back two with no change of expression.
"You're very good at that now." I point out, watching her take a third. "You use to suck."
She furrows her brows while sucking on a lime.
"Shut up."
"What?" I laugh. "You did. But that's okay, it was an endearing quality "
She takes the lime out of her mouth and puts it on the platter, three shots down and three more to go.
"Well, I'm not so endearing anymore." She grabs another shot.
"I disagree."
"Of course you do." She rolls her eyes while tossing the shot back.
I grab her stool and drag it between my legs, making us closer. She remains facing the counter while I face her. I intertwine my fingers in my lap, slightly slouched and just admiring her side profile.
"You still wear the same perfume, that's very endearing."
She laughs in pity. "Please."
I grab her wrist and hold it up in front of me, seeing the mirage of gold bracelets. "You still keep a spare hair tie on your wrist everywhere you go, that's very endearing too."
We both look at the worn out black hair tie hidden within all the jewelry worth more than a car.
Resting her elbow on the table, I keep her forearm up straight while slowly sliding my grip up. I gently caress her nimble hand in every aspect, turning to see the back of it. I lace my around to her knuckles, pushing down on two of them as the joints crack with little effort.
"You still crack your knuckles when you're stressed. If you didn't, that wouldn't of been so easy for me to do."
She moves her eyes from her hand and looks at me, yanking her arm down and out of my hold.
"So, the only things that make me endearing are things tied to the old me?"
"Well, you haven't let me know this new you yet. If you did, I would find a handful of things." I chuckle, placing a hand on the back of her seat while the other lays on the counter. She looks down at my comfortable body language—my legs open with her stool between.
She focuses to my hand on the counter.
"Well, I couldn't recognize you by your hands anymore."
"No?"
"No rings, no nail polish." She lists. "Quite a boring hand you have."
"Boring?" I pretend to be offended but mask it with my smile.
"Very boring."
"What about this one?" I move my other hand from behind her stool and place it on the counter in front of her. Her eyes go right down to the tattoo on my hand, her name written with a halo. "You're saying you couldn't recognize me by that?" I add.
My body is leaned slightly forward in my seat, facing the side of hers. She turns her head in my direction, realizing our faces are a lot closer than we both think. I keep a plastered grin on my face. Her eyes bounce around from my eyes to my mouth to my hair to my chin.
"You're flirting with me." Her eyes meet mine again.
"Always."
"Was what just happened in the stairwell not enough of a hint for you?"
"The part when I was kissing your neck?"
"The part where I was going to rip your dick off."
"That wasn't foreplay?" I grin.
She widens her eyes with amusement on her face. "Really?"
I laugh and drift my head forward on her shoulder. I don't realize how instinctual the action was until it happened and I remember these things aren't normal for us anymore.
But Av, as I sat there with you, sometimes there would be a single moment where everything felt normal again. It's the strangest thing. We're different now and we may never be the same. But for one second, it feels like you let your guard down. I love it. It keeps me going.
Pulling my head back and straighten up in my seat, she stares off to the stage on the other side of the bar. There's a woman that's borderline crying her eyes out to the slowest song of the century, lip syncing like she just go her heart broken.
"Can anyone pick something less depressing?" She murmurs. "She's killing the atmosphere."
"Get up there if you think you can do any better." I joke.
She flips her head back.
"So tell me, how did you find me at the bank? That wasn't written in my calendar." She asks.
"Pure serendipity."
"Bullshit." She rejects.
"I'm serious." I nod. "I had no idea you would be there."
"I've gotta admit, I'm impressed you made it out."
"It wasn't easy. You taking my sunglasses didn't make it any easier."
"Is that how you got this?" She digs her finger into the small scrape on my temple, the scrape I got when I threw myself off one roof to the next.
"Ow—" I flinch her hand away, making her snicker. "And yes actually."
"Did your girlfriend make it out in one piece?"
"And there it is." I grin.
"What?"
"I was waiting for the jealous remark."
"Fuck you." She laughs but takes slight offence. "It's not a jealous remark."
"Oh, so you holding the gun to Scarlett's head wasn't because you were jealous?" I tilt my head with a curious smirk.
"I just wanted to see you squirm a little. Which you did."
"Well, she isn't my girlfriend. She's my friend."
"I don't know, you seemed very protective of her. I've never seen you like that with anyone."
"You know what, you're actually right. I have been lying to you." I state.
"Have you now?"
"Yeah," I nod in joke. "I've been fucking her this entire time. I didn't want to tell you because it's pretty uncomfortable to bring up."
"Oh really?" She plays along, holding tease in her eyes.
"We do it all the time. Everywhere. The bar, my place, her place, my car, alleyways, we where even gonna fuck in the bank but you kinda showed up and made it awkward." I shrug.
"You're such an idiot." She chuckles and takes another shot.
I laugh, "She is just a friend. Her and Dez have really been there for us these past few months. I'm trying to be more open to people and their positive intentions."
"Listen, don't let me stop you from getting any. She's hot. Dez too."
She nearly tips back on her stool from dizziness, my hand placing on her back in reflex. I think the shots are starting to catchup to her. She's going to be on the floor if she keeps going at this speed.
"Alright," I laugh. "Maybe you've had enough now."
"I'm fine." She shrugs my hand off her back.
"Is your bodyguard suppose to come get you?"
"He's probably just realizing I'm gone."
"And that doesn't worry you?"
She shakes her head, shutting her eyes for a second like the room is spinning.
"Zayn isn't going to tell my father I left without supervision because if that happens then it means Zayn didn't do his job. Telling my father I ran off puts his ass on the line just as much as mine."
"Ah." I nod. "Well, let's cool it with the shots for ten minutes."
"Didn't you use to be fun?"
I shrug. "Some would say."
"You think just because I'm drinking and you're not that I'm gonna let my guard down and say some embarrassing shit? Just so you can make another checkmate remark?"
She's drunk.
"No, baby." I smile and shake my head.
"Then have a drink so I can feel better." She pushes the last shot over to me.
You let me call you baby, Av. Even if you were kinda drunk.
"I'm sober." I admit.
"Yeah, no shit."
"No like...I'm sober sober." I clarify.
She furrows her brows, staring at me in silence for a moment to take in my words.
"Like...sober as in—"
"As in I don't drink or do drugs anymore."
She takes another pause, staring at me as if she doesn't believe what I'm saying. I don't blame her. I wouldn't believe me either.
"Like...nothing?"
"I still smoke weed. But besides that, nothing."
"Since when?"
I stare at her with the clear answer in mind, knowing it's been since I made a promise to her that I was done with it all. It's been over nine months. But as I stare at her with the answer on the tip of my tongue, I just can't seem to admit it. My sobriety is never something I want to use as a tactic for her sympathy. If I tell her I'm sober because of what I put her through in Vegas, it's going to bring her guilt and memories of a very raw time. I should really just be honest, but for some reason tonight doesn't feel right to admit something so heavy. Not when we're having such easy conversations. I don't want to lie to her, but I'm not ready to admit the truth either.
"Couple weeks." I dodge my eyes down to my lap for a moment.
She forms her lips into a line and nods in appreciation. "Good for you then."
"Thanks," I nod while picking at my nail beds.
She takes the last shot and gets off the stool, a little light on her feet but keeps somewhat of a balance. "I'm going to the restroom."
"Are you ditching me out the back door like poor Patrick?" I smirk.
"Here," she goofily tosses me her clutch. "For collateral if I bail."
I watch her weave through the tables in direction of the bathrooms. Her essence turns head from many in passing. I bite the inside of my cheek and turn my head to the side, a small smile carving my lips. This feels good. Whatever is happening right now, I like it.
I look down at her clutch in my hand, opening it up out of pure invasive curiosity. Inside is her phone, cigarettes, cash, lipstick, and a small bag of powder. I pull it out and see it's specifically a bag a coke, only enough for a line or two.
My throat goes dry.
I swallow, staring at the fine narcotic. I don't see coke too much anymore. I know the guys still do it on occasion, but they do it behind my back. They'll drink around me all day, take whatever pills they get their hands on but coke is something they shield from me. Even Niall. I never asked them too, I can't expect they alter their lives around me. I think they just know it was where my main addiction lies because it's so easy to take. And if I break my sobriety with coke, then I'll fall down the same rabbit hole. Coke will become pills and pills will ruin me like they did last time.
And now, Aven does coke.
I snap out of my trance and put it back in her clutch, shutting it immediately. I clear my throat and try to think about something else. I can really use a joint right about now.
"Can I get you something?" The bartender asks.
"I'll take a water."
He nods and gets me a plastic glass of water. I take a sip that coats my dry throat. How easy it would be to just take a bump, enough to make me feel things again. It would be a quick high, only a couple minutes. And that's it. I would be done with it. All I need to do is just sprinkle a little bit of the powder on the back of my hand and snort it. It would be so fucking easy and that's what is so strenuous about it.
I just drink more water.
"Shot through the heart, and you're too blame. Darling you give love a bad name!"
The new song blares through the basement bar. With the water cup against my lips, I turn my head to the stage and see none other than Aven up under a spotlight with a mic—lip syncing.
The audience starts to cheer, the most commotion from the bar all night the second a sexy girl in a short black dress steps up. I widen my eyes and look around and everyone getting up from their seats and heading closer to the stage and mini catwalk. Aven moving her hips to the instrumental of You Give Love a Bad Name.
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
I jump up from my barstool and race over to the stage, knowing this is very bad given she's drunk. If she wasn't, she would not be doing this.
I push through all the men crowding the platform, managing to get to the front to where the spotlight shines on her.
"Aven!" I start slapping the stage right at the end of the catwalk, trying to get her attention but the music mixed with the cheering drowns me out. "Aven get down!"
She walks around to the edges of the stage, looking down at the audience that's basically drooling for her attention. She sways her hips in seduction while strutting along in her stilettos. She flirts with the middle-aged men as the verse starts, turning to the catwalk and making eye contact with me at the end of it. Her eyes hold mischief as she starts walking up towards me at the end—beginning to lip sync the first verse with the mic in her hand.
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven,
then put me through hell,
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free.
Her eyes stay on mine as I fall into a trance for a moment, staring up at her as she gets closer. The words of the song start to feel heavy in my chest.
She falls to her knees right in front of me, arching herself back until her head touches the ground. My eyes trial the arch of her torso and chest.
Oh, you're a loaded gun.
I widen my eyes at the view. Everyone roars at her movement of her tossing back on the stage before drawing herself back straight on her knees.
"Aven, Aven—please get down!" I panic through my words of mercy.
She makes eye contact with me before getting back up on her feet and strutting around to the rest of the audience, flipping her hair back out of her face and ignoring me.
Oh, there's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done!
This isn't good.
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name!
She starts interaction with the audience again, grabbing faces and pulling her dress up seductively. They go absolutely crazy for her as her red lipstick shines in the light. Her smoky eye makeup is hidden behind her hair flying in different direction with chaos. She's putting on quite a show. She's not coming off drunk at all, but I know she's hammered.
Mariana isn't allowed to do something like this.
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name!
Hey, you give love, a bad name!
They suddenly lift her off the stage and up onto one of the tables nearby, having her stand up high on there as everyone's eyes follow. She keeps lip syncing while squatting down to the people at the table and grazing their faces, pulling at their lips, singing to them. I can't even comprehend this situation anymore, but she's going to get herself in trouble if Malikai finds out about this somehow. People were pulling out their cameras.
With the help from the audience, she travels from one table to another until she eventually reaches the bar counter. Everyone moves their drinks as she uses the surface as her own little runway, the bartenders in awe rather than annoyed. She starts crawling across the bar which makes everyone cheer louder, a certain rhythm as she moves.
I race over to the bar again but it's not easy when everyone else is also following her over there. There's to many horny people in this place that it's hard to get her attention.
She flips over on her back and lays down, folding one leg over the other and arching her body in the air along the counter. Mic in hand, she shuts her eyes and continues to lip sync
Oh, you're a loaded gun!
The guy sitting right in front of her nearly pops his eyes out of his skull. She sits back up straight and dangles her legs over the edge of the counter, the man sitting on his stool between them. He smirks and stands up with his hands on her legs, roaming them up the side of her thighs. She winds her one leg back to press her heel against his chest, playfully pushing him back so he disengages. She smirks into the song before getting back up on her feet and walking along the counter.
Everyone starts clapping in unison at the chorus again.
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name!
I manage to get right up the the edge of the counter, looking up at her standing there with the mic in her hand. My eyes narrow to her legs, seeing the gun holster poking through. But the harder I look, the more I see the gun actually falling out. It's not strapped in properly.
Oh fuck.
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name!
Then, it falls out onto the counter.
And fires against a bottle of vodka on the shelf.
The gunshot causes panic through the bar, everyone shouting in startle as it even startles Aven enough to trip off the counter. She plummets into my arms as I catch her effortlessly in a bridal style hold, gasping before meeting my eyes and holding my neck in the realization that I caught her.
The whole bar runs to the exit as I stand there holding her, the music eventually stops so you can just hear the panic. The look in her eyes tells me this sobered her up real fast.
"Having fun?"
She stares into my eyes in silence before blinking away with a squirm. "Put me down."
I put her down. She grabs her clutch and her gun off the bar counter before hurrying out of the building while the majority of people have already fled. I turn my head back to the bartender who's already dialling the police.
Fuck.
I jog towards the exit, turning up the green-lit stairwell that leads to the street. I already lose Aven in the mix, she's too fast. Once I get to the top of the stairs and onto the chaotic sidewalk, I look in every direction to catch a glimpse of her. For a moment, I convince myself she's gone but right before I give up I see her running down to the subway.
I don't want her to leave yet. I don't know when I'll get her alone like this again.
I sprint towards the subway entrance, running down the steps into the stale air that echoes every footstep. It's pretty empty at this time of night so it's easy to spot her walking along the concrete platform. I leap over the turntables and follow her through.
"Av—" I shout.
She turns her head back as the wind from the subway tunnel blows her hair. I hurry up and press her into the tiled wall, grabbing her clutch from her hand.
"What are you doing? I told Zayn to come meet me here."
I open her bag and grab out the lipstick I saw earlier, yanking off the cap with my teeth.
"I want you to have my number, okay?" I mumble with the cap between my teeth.
"What?"
"It's the landline to the restaurant I live under. The phone is upstairs but I will find a way to know when you call."
I get down on my knees in front of her hips, hoisting up her left thigh while keeping the lipstick cap between my teeth. She doesn't realize what's happening before I start writing my phone number down on her inner thigh, a place only she's going to see it. The dark red pigment glides beautifully along her soft skin.
"Are you fucking insane! I'm not going to contact you!"
"That's fine. You don't have to. Just keep this number somewhere in case you do. I have next to no cell service in the basement, this is the only phone around that will work."
"That's going to smear." She adds.
I glance up her with a smile, lipstick cap still between my teeth. "Then don't let it."
She looks back and forth as I'm down on my knees in this empty subway station, hiking her leg up to write my phone number in small print on her inner thigh. I could've just put it in her phone, but I don't want to push my luck too far. Malikai may have access her phone. I just want to give her this number so she has it to her disposal. Whether she uses it or not.
I finish the last number before dropping her leg and standing back up straight. I put the cap back on and place it in her clutch.
"Why would you give the daughter of your enemy a number you can be traced at?"
"Because I will always trust you, okay?" I nod. "Even if it gets me killed."
The train flies in, making the hot wind barrel through us. Our hair blows in different directions as I stare down at her. She has a guarded look in her eye that tells me I'm the most idiotic thing she's ever seen. I can't help but grab the back of her neck and slowly lean forward. My forehead presses against hers, staring down at her lips. The second I go to lean in and kiss her, she turns her head so I can't.
She doesn't want to kiss me.
And I'll respect that.
I grab her jaw and turn it back to face me. She lowers her eyebrows as if I'm going to try and do it again.
"No—"
"Okay, okay..." I whisper in ease so she relaxes. "I won't. But trust me for a second."
Holding her face, my thumb presses vertically on her lips. She stays still like she didn't know what I was doing. With my thumb as a barrier, I lean forward and press my lips to the other side. It almost feels like a kiss without my lips touching hers. I shut my eyes and pretend it's real, my flat thumb staying between our mouths. The feeling of my nose against the side of hers and the closeness of our faces is enough for me.
Can't be a kiss if our lips aren't touching.
There a couple seconds where we're silent with it, but eventually she pushes me back by the hips so I disengage. I knew that was coming.
I smile in mischief, a couple seconds is enough for me to know she's felt something before pushing me back. I can hear the train open it's doors in the distance behind me.
"Don't be a stranger." I turn around and hurry over to the train, getting on.
"Harry?" I hear her call my name with hesitation.
A physical chill ran up my spine, Av.
My turn around, standing on the train with the doors still open on standby. She looks at me from the wall, eyes on mine and fighting to say something but unsure if she should make the commitment. I stand there with every ounce of persuasion in my expression, hoping she will speak what's on her carousel of mind. She only has five seconds before this door shuts.
She cautiously looks both ways on the empty platform before walking over to me on the train but stopping right before the doors. We stand ten inches apart. Her eyes look up at mine like she's stubbornly mustering up courage to speak. She's full of tension and dismay but the alcohol in her blood keeps her eyes loose.
"You were always a big fan of lights." She spits out like she didn't even want to say it, a stubborn look on her face.
I freeze from her statement, staring into her eyes right as the train doors shut between us. In a matter of seconds we're separated with a scuffed up window. The train starts to move as our eyes follow each other until they can't anymore. Darkness fills in front of me as I enter the tunnel and lose the sight of her completely.
That's why she lead me to Times Square.
I walk over to one of the empty seats, glancing at the pad of my thumb to see red lipstick still imprinted onto it. A smile curls up my face as it doesn't leave for the rest of the ride home.
She's coming back.
//
I cried during the my policeman trailer.