Ngl I cried writing this chapter 💔 and just a heads up what "Troy " did to Will in the other chapter wasnt real but was one of vecnas illusions . Since Vecna is already connected to Will he make the illusions feel very real. The cuts on Wills stomach and the voices in castle Byers feel real but it wasn't.
(MIKE POV)
Me and Dustin have now been walking for at least an hour. We head towards the woods. It's now getting late. The sky slowly fades into darkness.
All I can think about is Will. What is he doing right now? What do I say to him? Why does the thought of him bring me such angst?
"Mike..." Dustin calls from behind.
"Yeah?" I say dragging myself back into the real world.
"What happened between you and Will?" Dustin asks worried and curious.
"What? Nothing" I respond nervously.
"I'm not stupid. When Will walked out the house he looked upset and well- you seem scared and i dont think it's just because of Vecna. You guys talked about something.. something deep.." Dustin goes on as we continue to walk.
"I can't say it. All I know is that it's going to change things." I say. It is going to change things. But I don't know how... me and Will we have to talk about it. I want to be there for him. What did this mean for our friendship? We were still going to be best friends, right? Shit.What was I going to say to him.
"So it was that deep." Dustin says.
"Yes. Honestly man I have no idea what I'm going to say to him when I see him." My heart sinks at the thought. Apprehension takes over.
"He is your best friend... it should come naturally... I mean my advice is to speak from the heart and say how you really feel because you never know when it is going to be too late." Dustin's voice slightly cracks.
"I- I'm sorry about Eddie. He was there for me and you. He was a good person. He was a hero." I say.
"He was a her...my hero. He was the best." Dustin sniffs wiping his tears.
I nod in agreement.
I think about what Dustin meant. Say how you really feel? I mean I love will. As a friend. Do I tell him I love him? What if he takes that in a different way? Im not good at saying stuff like that I never have been.
I continue to drown in my thoughts.
Why does the thought of him make my stomach turn? Why does burying him in my arms and making sure he is safe bring me comfort? It gives me more comfort then El.More comfort than any of my friends.
I need Will.
I think about the van. I'm so fucking stupid. He was talking about himself obviously but in a way that was a confession. He was trying to tell me how he felt. Shit. And i used his words in my speech to El... so fucking stupid.
All those years of hiding...Being scared his friends would hate him. How didnt I notice?
Before we realise it, time flies.
"We should go to the spot we said we would meet everyone." Dustin says looking at his watch.
"Yes but lets check at castle Byers first." I suggest.
"Why? You said Will destroy-" Dustin begins to say.
"Yeah but it doesnt hurt to check and its pretty close to where everyone is anyways so lets just go." I cut him off. We head in The direction of Castle Byers.
I remember visiting castle Byers when Will left to California with El. I saw it torn apart. At first I thought maybe a bad storm ruined it but as I scavenged through what was left of it , I realised it was will. A ghostbusters photo with all of the original party on it lay torn on the floor. My heart broke. Our argument. The words I used.
"It's not my fault you don't like girls."
How could I say something so stupid? So cruel. All he is wanted to do was play dnd.
I was a bad friend
I caused the downfall of castle Byers.
Me and Dustin continue to move forward.
"Look." Dustin points towards the ground"tracks."
We exchange a glance of hope and walk faster following the tracks.
There he is. Sitting in-front of the destroyed Castle Byers his back facing us. We can only see him from a distance.
"Will?" Dustin calls out.
No response.
"Will? Come on man we can talk. We need to talk." I call out as me and Dustin run towards him.
No response.
"Will?" I tap his shoulder as I approach him.
Nothing.
"Will?" I turn him towards me; his eyes flutter
as his head faces the sky.
No. No. No.
My heart drops into the depths of my core.
Not him.
Please not him.
"DUSTIN GO GET THE OTHERS. TELL THE OTHERS TO COME QUICK." I shout.
Dustin runs off into the distance in desperation, callling everyones name.
"Dont worry, Will, we are going to get you help... I promise. Just stay with me. Please, stay with me." I cry; tears streaming down as my voice crumbles.
I hug him. I know he can't feel it but it brings me comfort knowing he is in my arms: knowing he is still with me.
"HURRY. PLEASE HURRY." I CRY my arms still wrapped around Will.
Fear.
The fear of losing someone you love .
It hits me.
Then, it happens.
I feel Will's body start to slip out of my grasp as he begins to levitate.
No.
Not him.
"Should I stay or should I go?" I sing slowly and quietly breaking on my own words as i hold him tighter in my arms. "Should I stay or should I go?" I sob still trying to keep him in my grasp.
I fail.
I stand up to watch him levitating over me.
No. Not him. I need him. Please don't take him.
"WILL PLEASE DONT DO THIS. DONT DIE ON ME." I shout breaking down on my words as my vision blurs.
People begin to approach. I notice Jonathon first and then Dustin before I realise it everyone is here.
" Nononono." Jonathon cries. "Please God no." He breaks.
I can only hope el is able to save him.
I can't lose him.
Everyone watches their eyes only filled with fear.
"This cant be happening." I break down under my breath. Each tear that drops is replaced with another. My body feels like its on fire. My soul burning. Each thought I have erupting. My whole world is collapsing.
I am no longer paying attention to anyone. Not the people around me. Not the trees. Not the sky.
Just Will.
I can't lose him.
I love him.
I love him more than anything and everything.
Without him i can't breath. I can't think. I can't live.
"WILL PLEASE DONT DO THIS. Don't do this to me. You can't do this to me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVERYTHING. " I break down as I face his levitating body.
Everyone's eyes open slightly in shock but i don't care. Right now no one else matters. It was the truth. I do love him.
I love him more than anything.
Silence surrounds me.
"I'm sorry I was such an idiot. I'm sorry i didn't realise. I'm sorry I've been a bad friend. I'm sorry you went through everything on your on. I'm so sorry. You deserve better than me. I don't deserve you. But please stay. " I try to wipe the flood of tears on my face as I shout. "Please don't do this. I love you. I love you more than you know. I love you for you and only you. Iv always loved you. You were my first friend. You are my everything. I didn't tell you cause I was scared. Your the best thing that has happened to me Will byers. " I sob under my breath choking on my words as I face up.
His left arm snaps.
In this moment my soul breaks.
The echoes of everyone screaming surround me.
This can't be happening.
"No. No.no." Panic erupts inside of me as more tears fall. "Come on Will. Come on." I cry.
The screams of everyone fade as now it is only me and my rapid heart beat.
No one else matters.
"Please." I cry. "Please." I say softly. I feel panic continue build up inside of me. My breath quickens. I feel like I am falling. It feels like I have been falling for eternity.
Please don't do this.
Don't die on me.
I need you.
I love you.
In this moment the world stops spinning. Time slows. Seconds feel like decades. Each gasp of air weighs heavier than the last. The voices around me fade. My heart can no longer keep up with me. The whole universe is closing in on itself and all I can do is watch. I feel myself crumble.
"Please." I bawl.
He falls to the ground.
Me and Jonathon instantly rush to him. Everyone else stands over us.
I hold his his body in my arms.
"Will?" Tears still fall as I call his name in hope.
No response.
"Come on buddy. please, wake up. I need you to wake up." Jonathon cries.
Silence.
"You can't do this. I need you Will. I love you." I sob touching my forehead onto his as my tears fall onto his lifeless body . "Please. Please, wake up." I sob softly.
His other arm and 2 legs weren't broken but his nose was bleeding. I don't know if he is bleeding internally. Whether he is brain dead. Whether I have lost him.
"Please." I repeat."I love you. You'rethe best thing that's ever happened to me. It's you... its always been you. It's you, Will. " I bawl ignoring everyone else. No one else matters in this moment. No one . Just Will. It's always been Will.
Please fight Will. Fight.
Will coughs.
He coughed. HE BREATHES.
He is alive.
"Will? WILL." I cuddle him.
"Will." Jonathon smiles crying tears of joy.
"Mike." He weakly smiles.
"You came back to me. You didn't leave. I thought I lost you." I sob holding him tighter.
"You went looking for me?" his voice shakes as it is complimented with teary smile.
"Of course I would." I smile my lips wobbling.
In this moment I have the urge to kiss him.
Why do I want to kiss him?
I know I love him. But as a best friend, right?
It's not normal to want to kiss your friends. I'm not stupid. Maybe, it was just the stress of the thought of losing him.
It had to be.
When I said I love him....did I mean something more than brotherly love?
I can't like guys. I mean... like that. It doesn't make sense.I've only dated girls... well, a girl but still. Will has always been special to me. He confused me in the past. Even at the school dances I didn't know if I wanted to dance with him or El.
Everything is so confusing but my main focus right now is Will. I almost lost him.
I can never lose Will. Not again. Not ever.