𝐃𝐞𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐧 | 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐍𝐎𝐈 𝟐𝟑

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NOI 23 - TALES OF THE PAST PT.2

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YEAR 2002

     ⎾ What was the point of everything that I have done? ⏌

     The young (Y/N) stared at (F/N). All feelings leaving her. Everything felt so overwhelming yet numbing at the same time. She was in chaos, but silent. No one could ever begin to share the terrors that she was experiencing at this very moment.

(E/C) orbs numbly and lifelessly gazed at the corpse she once called her father.

The amount of time that she has spent here... is something she doesn't know.

She hasn't eaten, taken a bath nor moved an inch. She waited for her father to wake up again, but she just watched him turn into bones in such a fast pace. She realized that happened because he was a oni. She thought, 'Am I going to die like that, too?' She is a mix of an oni and a nereid, so it made her wonder how and when will she die.

However, from this point on, she doesn't even know what to do anymore.

She worked hard. She endured all the beatings and prejudice she faced from the villagers. She walked thousands of miles until blood painted her feet. She carried the heaviest of objects until she coughed out blood. Just to earn money. Just to get medicine for her father. So, why... why her efforts weren't rewarded?

She thought that if she worked hard enough, her father would recover.

If she did her best, her father would be happy again.

Yet there are times... even if you give your all... even if you give your blood, your sweat, your tears, your everything... All of that don't matter. She believed. Believed that her everything was going to make her father better. But, she realized that even her everything wouldn't be enough.

'Why does this always happen?'

She couldn't even assure herself that everything was going to be alright.

She couldn't even smile.

She couldn't feel anything.

She thought herself of a fool that was so optimistic to the point that she couldn't see reality.

A reality that is cruel and unfair to everyone.

(Y/N) lifted her hands and looked at how her (S/C) skin roughened.

'I shouldn't have been born.'

Her existence gave others misfortune and pain, even to her beloved father. She could never forgive herself. She let her father die, she let her father get weak, she let her father... not even see her mother again. Her hands slowly moved, for the first time in forever, letting go of her father's hand. She gripped her (H/C) head, thoughts going into spiral, eyes shaking and jerking.

Her exhausted gaze looked around, trying to find something. Something sharp. Something that would erase her presence in this world that was filled with lofty and hideous ideals. Something that would make her disappear. Something that she believed that would make her feel genuine happiness.

She spotted the knife laying on the wooden table.

It was the knife that her father used to cut the potatoes they would always eat.

For the first time, she gained the strength to stand up, to walk over the knife and grab it. She held it, staring at it in wonder. What was she going to do? Will she cease to exist if she tried carving its end on her skin? What if she tried doing it? What will happen to her? The hand holding the knife slowly rose, positioned on top of her arm. Ready to stab. Ready to... kill oneself.

Suddenly, with her sharp ears, (Y/N) heard footsteps coming from outside and instinctively dropped the knife, its sound leaving loud clanging on their house's floor. She cowered in fear at the unfamiliar sound. She ran under the table and covered her head to hide herself. She gasped, realizing what she done.

Why would she prioritize herself? The child panicked. She obviously should have been hiding her father first from the incoming intruder! She should never care for herself as she never mattered.

The young child went out from her hiding spot, not caring if her head bumped at the corner of the rectangular table they used to eat dinner at. All she cared about is getting her father safe. "Father—!"

SLAM!

The door opened, causing the young (Y/N) freeze in her tracks. She trembled, eyes trailing over the source, ready to be hurt. Ready to be beaten. Ready to be killed. But, all of that stopped when she saw a lady standing by the entrance, panting with red color on her face, probably due to exhaustion. Her young (E/C) orbs widened when she met confused, astonished identical colored ones.

"Are you..." The lady trailed off, face contorting as if she was going to cry. "...Are you (Y/N)?"

Like a puppet who could only listen to others' orders, she answered in monotone, "Yes." (Y/N) looked up and blinked. The individual was extremely beautiful. Even if she looked fatigued. The thing that stood out for the young girl the most is the scales imprinted permanently on her collar. Her eyes widened. This person is...

"Mo... ther...?" She slowly trailed off.

"Yes... yes, I am! I am your mother!" (M/N) rushed inside, embracing her daughter with all her might and love.

(Y/N) was stunned. She had never felt warmth for so long.

"I'm sorry for taking such a long time to not see the two of you! I know this is a preposterous excuse, but I was so busy, working hard to make a living for the three of us. There are lots of problems that I encountered, too, so I wasn't able to come home immedia—" The lady saw her daughter's condition and gasped in concern. "W-What happened, dear?! Why... why do you look like you haven't eaten for so long? And... have you gotten enough rest?! My goodness... Also..."

"Where is your father?"

(M/N) sensed her daughter flinching. "What's wrong—?"

As soon as her (E/C) eyes followed her daughter's gaze...

Her whole world felt apart.

She wasn't stupid enough.

She was old enough to understand who owned the bones that were on the corner of the small room.

(F/N)...?

Her feet slowly took her to the skeleton lying on the futon.

This isn't true.

This is impossible.

A person as strong as (F/N)?

Once she saw the clothes that her husband used to own, her strength left her knees.

She fell on the ground, startling her daughter.

"Mother, are you alright...?!"

(M/N)'s breath shook. "What... happened...? Why did he... why is my love... why..." She stammered. Why isn't he breathing? There's something wrong. She was going crazy. She shook the skeleton, begging, pleading, "(F/N), please wake up. This isn't like you. I know that you sleep like a bear, but you can't joke like this. Come on, wake up. I'm finally home! I'm here! Can't you see? Can't you hear me?"

(Y/N), who was approaching her behind, teared up. She shook her head and suppressed herself from crying.

She wasn't allowed to cry.

Not when her mother was in much worse pain that she is.

The child crouched beside her mother and put a gentle hand on her back, face strait-laced, trying to keep composure.

"This isn't true, right? (Y/N)?" (M/N) snapped her head at her daughter, who only gazed at the ground and bit her bottom lip. Not having the courage to answer her despairing mother. (M/N) continued to shake her husband's skeleton.

She frantically breathed in and out.

"This isn't true, this is just unfair. What happened? Why? Why? Why? Why aren't you here?"

This wasn't true.

She was going crazy.

"Why aren't you breathing? That's not supposed to happen! You should be alive! You should be! You should be—"

"—I'm sorry, Mother."

(M/N)'s eyes fluttered. "Huh...?"

(Y/N) gripped her hands with her own rough and scarred hands. "I did my best to get some medicine for Father, but as you can see..." She smiled. "...I failed." (M/N)'s breath hitched when her daughter got down on her knees and buried her forehead on the ground. "I'm so sorry. Please don't blame anyone. But, at the same time, please let it all out."

"All your pain... your anger... and anguish... please give it all to me."

"You can beat me, hurt me, torture me, kill me... anything... I can be meat shield if you want. I can be a slave, a pet, an animal... Anything you want. As I was the one responsible for Father's passing... you can do anything to me." The young girl bit her lip, blood oozing from it, trying to suppress her tears.

She did not deserve to cry.

No—she wasn't allowed to.

After all the things she has done...?

(Y/N) felt like she did not deserve anything good at all.

"I deserve it for being a failure of a daughter to the two of you."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

That's when (M/N) finally saw the bruises on her daughter's face. The scars and cuts on her (S/C) skin, visible enough for everyone to see. She felt her blood boiling. "Stop, please," she demanded, making her daughter flinch. She gritted her teeth at how she reacted. Why... "Who was responsible for this?" She asked, tone overpowering the atmosphere.

(Y/N) did not answer at all, as if she predicted that her mother would go in a rampage to the villagers if she said anything. So, she stayed in her position, silent, lost and scared. She didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. She just... wanted to rest.

"Answer me, who dared to hurt my daughter?"

(Y/N) shook her head. "No one. Please just..." Kill me.

"DON'T LIE TO ME, (Y/N)!" (M/N) was in turmoil. Not only her husband had passed away without her knowing, but... her daughter was here begging for someone to kill her? Unforgiveable, she thought. She gritted her teeth at her own outburst. "I'm sorry for yelling. Please wait here."

Finally, (Y/N) looked up. Her breath hitched as she saw her mother going outside.

She had a bad feeling about this.

She rose quickly from her position and held her mother's hands. "Mother? Where are you going?"

"Outside," (M/N) curtly answered, (E/C) eyes swirling with rage. "Please wait here, I will—"

As if knowing her intentions, (Y/N) pleaded, "Please don't hurt them! They have done nothing wrong! They're suffering like us! So please, Mother, don't hurt the villagers! They're..." She kept on rambling, giving reasons as to why she shouldn't do anything to the people living in this village. (M/N) was just so stunned, to the point that she recalled her husband saying something out of the blue.

❝I believe (Y/N) is going to be a kind woman.❞

You're right, (F/N). But... (M/N) stared at her daughter, horrified. Isn't she... a little too kind? To the point that she would tolerate such wrongdoings from the humans we loved so much? She knelt in front of the talking child, eyes gazing at her in absolute shock. She could clearly see how tired and lost her daughter was. These people hurt you. These people gave you trauma... These people gave you unforgettable scars... and you're still willing to forgive them? You're still willing to understand them...?

"Unbelievable," she mumbled.

'If I was here, would she have grown more spoiled?'

'If I was here, will she learn to look after herself?'

'If I was here, would she have turned out to be as childish as me?'

Such thoughts appeared on her mind, swallowing her whole.

(M/N) glanced over her husband's remains.

(F/N), I'm sorry, but I will be doing something that you and I will surely dislike. She put her hands on her daughter's shoulders, causing her to stop speaking. Hope welled up inside her. There was no time to grieve for her lover. She still had her daughter with her. And a wonderful one at that. She breathed in and out, embracing her new purpose in life.

I am sorry, (F/N). However we both know that... we will do anything for our child.

She has never met (Y/N) until now. She doesn't know anything about her, but... just meeting her right now—(M/N) knew that she was going to sacrifice everything she had just to give her daughter a good life. A good life where she was happy. Where she was going to smile and laugh with people who are willing to love her.

If you're not willing to hurt people, then I will do it for you.

With a gentle and loving voice, she coaxed the child in front of her, "(Y/N), can you stay here for a while...? I will have a talk to the village chief for us to leave this place. Would... that be alright with you?" (M/N) hated lying to her daughter, however this was necessary.

For all the bad and horrible things they have done to her daughter and her husband, they will have to pay.

(Y/N) met her gaze with bewilderment. "If that is what you wish, then..."

(M/N) softly smiled. She caressed her daughter's cheeks. "Thank you. Now... rest." Something similar to a spell hit the child, (Y/N) wobbled in her position, she was about to fall not until her mother caught her. "Ease your worries, my beloved daughter." Angered and furious tears cascaded her cheeks as (M/N) held (Y/N) close to her.

Not even wiping her tears, (M/N) carried her daughter to a space where it warm and cozy. She took off her jacket and laid it on her entire body. Wait here. I will definitely give you the happiness you deserve.

She turned to her husband's bones and touched it. I'll bury you later, (F/N). But for now... She rose, cheeks cascaded with tears and gaze filled with determination.

Once she gets outside of their house, there will be war.

She opened the door, only to be met with the disgusted gazes of the villagers.

Crazed yet despairing laughter came from her, right hand emitting fire, left hand forming a bulb of water.

(M/N) wasn't called the 'Monarch of Destruction' of Aegean for nothing.

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     ⎾ The scent of burning...? ⏌

     That was the first thought that appeared on (Y/N)'s mind as she woke up from her slumber. She swiftly got up, opening the door of their house, only to be met with... land. She was used to receiving glares from the villagers, yet today, there was none of that. There were no houses. She could see the clear skies enveloping her as if it was a new day today. For the first time in life, she felt tranquil.

But, there was one odd thing that she noticed. There was something—someone crouching in the middle of the mass of land. She was screaming, her voice loud as thunders, cyan hair messed up and gaze lost in nowhere. The person sounded like she was in complete anguish.

It hurt her.

It almost made her want to cry that someone could suffer as much as that.

Memories resurfaced the young child. And she finally remembered. She hit herself. How can she forget? Her mother came home from her long journey and she broke down from the sudden happenings in this village. (Y/N) gulped in her fear. She was scared, but did that matter? She ran... legs going to her mother. She bit the inside of her cheek and embraced (M/N).

She wanted at least, to give her mother a little warmth.

And (M/N) accepted it. She wailed, head burying on her child's shoulder.

"(F/N)...! (F/N)...!"

Her love was never coming back.

(F/N) is dead.

She will never experience the sight of his smile again.

She will never get to see the three of them together.

Her whole being just screamed. '(F/N)'. Her friend. Her bestfriend. Her partner. Her lover. Her husband. The only love in her life.

Yet (M/N), who thought that no one will ever comfort her the way (F/N) did... experienced it once more. For so long. Her eyes widened, crying stopping for a second as her ears received loving and affectionate words coming from her daughter, who is still a young child, who is supposed to be naïve and away from these kind of things.

She will never forget the comforting hand patting her back.

Knowing that she will continue to receive this kind of warmth—

—(M/N) cried in happiness.

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     ⎾ Huh? Why would you say that? ⏌

     After burying her husband, (M/N) and (Y/N) walked aimlessly side to side, hands held together as if they were each other's only lifeline. She didn't have to say longer statements to bid farewell to her husband. All she could tell him is 'See you later, (F/N)'. (M/N) had cried enough and she understood that she still had (Y/N) by her side, so there was no need to shed more tears that her husband wouldn't like to see.

Right now, (M/N) could not help but be confused at what her daughter said. Her daughter—from what she knew in the short time that they have met each other—is positive, compassionate, soft-spoken and always speaking words that everyone would want to hear. Yet this was the first time she had ever heard (Y/N) say something so... hopeless.

"I don't think I will make any friends, Mother." That's what she said.

(M/N) could not hide the frown etching on her face. She crouched down in front of her six-year old child, who seemed to carry all of the burdens that the world demanded her to do so. "You might not realize this, but (Y/N)... A lot of people would like you. You're amazing."

Yes, amazing. For a six year old to not cry nor complain despite all the harsh adversities that she has gone through... That is something you wouldn't find anywhere in the world.

But the fact that (M/N) called her daughter 'amazing' saddened her. She grinded her teeth together and clenched her fists at the sides.

'The pain that those people did to my daughter had a grave effect on her self esteem and confidence, to the point that (Y/N) would think that she didn't deserve anything good.'

'Why... why did this happen to her?'

(Y/N) only smiled and shook her head. Her daughter's voice ending all the guilt-driven thoughts in her mind. "Thank you, Mother. But, I'm... a monster. No one would like me except for you and Father. Well, I think that is a given since I am your child, but... if I were to be put in a different society... or a place that wouldn't involve the two of you, or... if I wasn't related to you two, no one would even like to be friends someone as atrocious as me."

(M/N) teared up.

'No way.'

'Why would you call yourself that...?'

She sobbed and took her daughter in her arms. "Please don't say that. That's not true at all. Not even the slightest. You're not atrocious, a monster... or any of those kind. You're strong. You can deal with all these horrible things, and not even blame others. I admire you, sweetheart. Truly."

She wiped her tears and looked at her child with pure determination.

"For sure...! If I admire you, then a lot of people will, too!" (M/N) declared to the young and stunned (Y/N). "I promise you! I will make a world where you can smile, laugh and express yourself freely! I swear that I will bring you to a place where you will be able to make so much friends! So... just wait for your mother, okay? I'll definitely do it for you! I'll work hard!"

Small (E/C) eyes fluttered. (Y/N) laughed.

"Thank you. I should be the one saying that, Mother."

The young girl raised her fists in the air and beamed.

"I'll work hard for you and everyone else, too!"

(M/N) ruffled her hair. "Thank you!" This sweet child... My goodness... She clutched her chest, not really believing that her daughter was so lovable. She wiped her tears, feeling herself grinning at her daughter's enthusiasm.

"Oh." (Y/N) turned to her in confusion, following her mother's gaze that was directed on the green-filled area by their side. "It's nothing, honey, it's just... this forest we're walking pass by is where your father used to chop some wood when I had you in my tummy."

"So Father did leave a certain place...?"

"Yes, he was initially a traveler. But he was incredibly dedicated to take care of you which is why he stayed inside the house all the house," (M/N) answered. You ended up carrying all sorts of burden though, she thought in sadness before smiling in nostalgia and remembering her husband's stories from the forest.

"(F/N) said he encounters a kid there from time to time. I think if the circumstances were a little more different and if you two met, you and the young boy might have been the best of friends," she explained.

"A young boy..." (Y/N) fiddled her fingers. I have never met someone my age before.

"Yeah, (F/N) wasn't the type to speak a lot, so we don't really know his name, but when your father was lost, I recall him calling the child 'Kou', in return, that boy called (F/N), 'Mori', isn't that so cute?" (M/N) cheered, giggling at the memory. "It's funny, y'know? Whenever your father and that child met, he'd greet him with a soft, 'Hey, hey!'. It didn't really suit him, but it definitely made him cuter than ever!"

"Definitely! I guess Kou-san called Father 'Mori' because he was always at the forest," (Y/N) deduced.

(M/N) chuckled. "True that." She swayed their intertwined hands together.

"I wish we could meet again Kou someday."

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YEAR 2003

     ⎾ If peace and happiness was like this, I wish it would continue endlessly. ⏌

     (Y/N) was looking out of the window of their house. All she could see is the sand, the soft waves of the sea and the scenery of the blue sky. Ever since her mother took her in, she never got to work once. She was able to eat food that she hasn't tasted before and she was able to roam around without having to limit herself. She felt lucky and happy.

But also scared, because this bliss that she was feeling right now may be short-lived.

It terrified her when she is so carefree and happy like this.

It feels like something can stab her on the back anytime.

So much had happened last year. Her father got sick and died, her mother came home, only to see the remnants of her husband, and her village vanished out of thin air. Which the young seven-year old understood that her mother was responsible for. She could not blame her mother for massacring the village like that, but she wished that (M/N) did not lie to her.

Although the villagers have done nothing to harm her in every single way, she cannot help but feel bad, even up until to this present day. To (Y/N), giving hatred to hatred is just tiring. There is no need for the reciprocation of negative emotions as it will only continue to foster all sorts of negativity.

Anyways, (Y/N) had already learned her full identity. She knew from the start, but she was unsure. So thanks to her mother's teachings, she came to a conclusion that she wasn't a human being. She was a mix of an oni and a nereid. She... did not have any human blood at all.

She also learned the history between the two beings and cannot help but worry about her mother, a nereid who wedded her father, an oni which is a fated enemy of the nereids.

Because, who knows, how many beings are hunting for the two of them? Especially after committing such a grave crime of wedding one another?

Despite the risks, she admired the two of them, to cut the chains of fate and to weaved their own fate like that. It must have taken a lot of courage to be together. And, because as a result of their immeasurable love for one another, they had her. The her who wasn't able to become a child and had to grow up quickly.

Since she was curious about her own abilities and from her mother's stories, (Y/N) experimented on her own and learned that she can wield the water like her mother. When she visited the forest her father used to hang out at, she learned that she was also able to take control of the wind and nature.

Her mother taught her that it was extremely rare for a nereid to have more than one element, but she also deduced that maybe is because of her mixed blood, she can use three. It was called 'mageia'. It is translated as magic in all sorts of languages, however her mother said that it is taboo to mention a nereid's abilities as 'magic' because it would be an insult to them.

Well, as expected of beings who think of themselves as superior.

Of course, (M/N) while casting an illusion on their house, she just told her, ❝Eh, you don't have to follow that rule. Nobody of the nereids know about us that much anyways, so call and use your powers for whatever you want as long as you never harm others.❞ How laidback her mother has become.

And yes, the reason why the young (Y/N) was looking out of the window right now is because she is waiting for her mother to come back. She was working so it may be expected for her to come home late.

❝There are many missing human children nowadays, so I am doing my best to find them.❞

Night has already passed yet she's still isn't here. A bad feeling soared up in the child's instincts.

As soon as she felt that, she saw someone dragging a figure by their hair. She gasped, recognizing the victim. "Mother?!" She yelled in alarm and forced herself to go from her position. She was about to go outside their house, however (M/N) was fast enough to mouth the words 'Don't move' to her. Why...? She laid on the ground, gritting her teeth in frustration.

"My, (M/N), who are you talking to?" With her sharp senses, (Y/N) was easily able to hear the voice. And she didn't like it. Even though she can't see the voice's owner, she knew that they had malicious intentions towards her mother. "Oh, I know... your husband died, so it must be your only kin at the moment, huh...? Yes..."

"Your daughter."

(M/N) jolted. No way. "You're mistaken, Your Highness! I have never—"

"Who told you that you could answer me?" Even though (M/N) is considered as the Monarch of Destruction, she could never compare to her mother. Andromeda. The queen of Aegean. Every thing that the nereids do is for her sake only. For Andromeda's sake. She had the highest authority second to Perseus. Her father and the king of Aegean.

"Stay silent and do not move." If (M/N)'s word spells are strong, then no doubt her mother, was stronger. "Autonoe, break the illusion."

"Understood, Your Majesty."

"NO, PLEASE!" Not my daughter! (M/N) trembled on her spot. (Y/N)...! (Y/N)...!

"Oh my, you can still move and speak even after I casted a high-end spell on you? You only ever get stronger, Monarch." Andromeda kept on stepping on her head, making her wince. The queen smiled at the sight. "I wonder how much strength your daughter has? Considering that she is a mix oni, it must be off the charts—" She smirked and leaned to her daughter's ear.

"—Because if that's the case, I would certainly be interested in making her a sacrifice on the front lines of the upcoming war against the oni."

This monster...! (M/N) glared at her.

Andromeda batted her eyes. "What a surprise. The dog is barking so loudly." She laughed. "You must be angry, aren't you? After all, I did it to you as well. You were only an immature twelve-year-old girl, but you possessed so much talent and authority among the military that I had no choice but to send you to the front lines. Goodness gracious, I still remember as clear as day when you brought the head of an oni to me." She smiled, seeing a motionless little girl following behind her servant. "Oh, there she is."

(Y/N) saw an extremely beautiful woman. Who is this? She was about to marvel at her beauty, but seeing the atmosphere around her made her wary. She had lived in a bad environment for years, so there was no way she could not recognize such animosity. That is no beauty, she thought.

Someone so beautiful can't look at her with so much disgust, right?

"Kneel." The child was bewildered at the words, even more when she was succumbed to mere letters. But, she was unfazed and she knew what was happening right now.

The nereids were hunting for them.

And it was just as she expected.

Andromeda gripped her jaws. "Hm... it is appalling to have someone a mix of oni and nereid, you certainly seem disgusting to me, but I have to admit that you have the noble features of the nereid. Although... this horn of yours is in the way."

The fact that this individual didn't even ask for her name and just spewed nonsense about her looks overall, (Y/N) already knew the pain that she was going to go through once more.

She smiled, hopeless.

I see.

(M/N)'s breath hitched. Don't tell me she's going to... "STOP—!"

"I said to stay silent. Don't bark so loudly, you dog." The ruler of Aegean nodded at her followers. "Cut it."

"Yes, Your Highness."

SLASH!

For an oni, their horns are their pride and bloodline.

So having it cut like this?

The pain is beyond unimaginable.

I can't even do anything to protect my daughter! I swore that I was going to protect her, but... why...

Why am I so useless?

Tears streamed down (M/N)'s face as she recalled what her husband to her, ❝Cutting an oni's horn is similar to how you would stab someone in the heart. It is like a sledgehammer continuously pounding on the entirety of your brain.❞

❝It feels like death itself.❞

And (Y/N) only bit her bottom lip.

(M/N) was horrified.

Are you kidding me...?

Her daughter was already in so much pain, yet she was still holding it back. Not even showing a moment of weakness. She didn't even wince, cry or scream. Once again, she is suppressing all the pain.

(Y/N) looked unfazed.

As if she was used to all of this pain.

While (M/N) sobbed in anguish—

—Andromeda laughed in amusement.

"In contrast to her rebellious and unruly mother, the daughter is an obedient, meek and submissive one?" Andromeda clapped her hands. "Knock them out. These two will be good tools for the upcoming war. Make sure to separate them once we arrive at the kingdom and arrange teachers for this little thing."

No... no... (M/N) pleaded in her mind, she snapped her gaze at her daughter, struggling desperately, only to be motionless at the smile her daughter wore.

And the last thing she saw was her daughter mouthing the words:

'It's going to be alright.'

Andromeda smirked, cackling at the unconscious mother-daughter duo.

"Hah...! What a great day indeed!"

No, it was the start of their demise.

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YEAR 2004

     ⎾ JUNE 21 ⏌

     Dear Father,

     A year has already passed and everything is extremely exhausting. Am I going to live like this all the time? All I wanted was the happiness of my mother... Am I doing it wrong? It is like when we lived together all over again.

Every time I go outside of my room, I am met with the expectant yet terrified looks of the other nereids. Every time I try to talk to them, they run away, reporting to their superiors that I have done something malicious, when I am only trying to get along with them. Even though I know that I do not deserve any pity, I cannot help but give myself pity. Tell me, Father...

Is my mere existence truly bringing harm to others?

You and Mother have always assured me, yet the thoughts of others are bringing me down. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I am on my own. I cannot see my mother. I cannot see you, Father. We cannot talk at all. I am in misery. I am in despair.

Enough of my negativity. I would just like to say good day, Father. I had just finished my lessons with the sword and etiquette. My schedule is always packed. From studying economy, politics, war to training my mageia and physical strength. I know that the nereids are not doing this for my sake, they are simply doing this for the results of having a perfect tool for war.

About Mother...

Whenever I try to investigate, they are always trying to brainwash Mother. However, we both know that Mother is not so weak to be controlled by them.

I, too, am continuing these lessons all for the sake of my beloved mother. And when the right moment comes, I will surely pay back all the blood, sweat and tears my mother has went through.

For now, this is the only thing that I can do. Write on this small journal that my mother has secretly given me.

So, please, Father, listen to my talks of suffering for a little longer, for happiness will be the end of all this.

(Y/N).

     ⎾ AUGUST 13 ⏌

     Dear Father,

     Once again, I had finished my lessons and I achieved results that no one from the kingdom had expected. They are keeping me on strict inspection at all times. They watch my every move and if I am deemed unworthy, I will have to continue to endure the beatings and whippings they will give me.

I am not allowed to make a single sound. Because if I do that, the hardships that I will face are going to be more grave. And they will also hurt Mother, which I would greatly despise.

Since they have to make sure that I am kept under control, they assigned me a maid and a knight. I do not know their names. I wish to know and approach them with good intentions, but I frightened to death that they may misunderstand me. Just like everyone had always done.

My maid... I call her my lady-in-waiting... since I do not want to think that we are not on an equal standing and that she is... dazzling in a subtle way. I do not think she is a nereid. She has dark brown hair and sullen identical-colored eyes that is similar to how I used to when I first arrived here. From what I have seen, she is a human of Japanese ethnicity, which makes me wonder every day on how in the world she had gotten here.

As for my knight... I do not see him often, but I clearly recall the long, wavy raven hair he had. I also do not think that he is a nereid. And he is another human from the same Japanese ethnicity that my lady-in-waiting is in. He is quiet, and when he guards me, he always makes sure to stand behind me.

The two of them do not harm me and are astounding in what they do. My lady-in-waiting is the best candidate for rising into nobility, while my knight is considered as the strongest swordsman in the kingdom. For sure, the nereids assigned them to me because they are the best in their respective fields, so when time comes... when I try to defy them, the two of them can stop me.

Yet, Father, I cannot help but wonder, are humans considered slaves and pawns to the nereids? Because if they do, it causes my blood to boil in anger.

I noticed the harsh treatment that my lady-in-waiting and knight has to go through, even when I am not around, I hear the other nereids making fun of them, telling them that they are 'lowly humans'. I am ashamed of myself for not being able to do anything to help them.

However, I swore to myself that I am going to set them free once I have gotten strong enough.

So, please, wait for me.

I will surely do that, I promise.

(Y/N).

     ⎾ SEPTEMBER 4 ⏌

     The knight stood obediently by the sides as he watched his young master defeat another nereid with her mageia. His dark orbs narrowed. Unlike (M/N), who everyone knows that uses her power and lets it spiral out of control, her daughter (Y/N), was so proficient at controlling her mageia and even combining some of the elements.

Not to mention, because of the mix of her oni blood, she was physically strong. If she ran out of mageia, she would use her knowledge of all sorts of martial arts and use it to defeat her opponents.

The raven-haired knight could only think in pity as he saw lifeless (E/C) orbs glow:

The one who is... considered the perfect tool for the upcoming war.

They call her 'Death'.

Never by her given name.

"Human, escort that monster out of here. Just her mere presence ticks me off."

As much as he wanted to seethe at the nereid who said that, the knight only obliged to his orders, "Understood." He sometimes wondered what (Y/N) did when she was only being ordered to take lessons. Seeing the scars on her hands made him quietly praise her, maybe it was out of pity or in genuine awe, he just said it in a whisper, "Good work, milady."

"Thank you. You as well."

The knight, who had never heard her speak and receive any good words or actions from this place, glanced at her, stunned. Did he just hear that right...? The monstrous and horrifying Deiern (Y/N) thanking someone?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize the fact that (Y/N) grabbed his arm and brought him to the side. The knight was startled. Why did she do that? He followed her gaze, flinching at the rubbles on the spot that he was previously in.

"Be careful." The raven-haired human watched as his lady gripped her arms together. He was about to ask what was wrong, until he heard the words that left her mouth.

"Father, when will this end...? Will my everyday life continue to be like this? Harming and bringing others pain...? If it is, then please, give me more power to endure this all. I promise you, I will live."

The knight motionlessly listened by the side and bit the inside of his cheek. He waited, waited and waited until she composed herself... and walked by her side when needed.

He could still remember the soft lull of her voice in his sleep.

     ⎾ NOVEMBER 17 ⏌

     The lady-in-waiting's eyes widened in terror when she realized that she had stepped on her master's dress. She trembled when the (H/C)-haired girl slowly turned her way. For all these months of serving her, I did not do a single mistake. Yet why now...? I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to be executed. She prostrated herself, begging, "I apologize! I had not done that on purpose! Please forgive me!"

The knight, who have been watching from behind, gulped and knelt, too. Because that was what they were told. They were taught like that. If they were to do something offending to the master they are serving, everyone in the vicinity has to go down on their knees and beg for forgiveness. As much as it hurt his pride, he had to do it for their survival. "We beg for your mercy."

They didn't really know anything about this half-nereid and half-oni individual, except for the fact that rumors suggest that she is an immensely dangerous being and that she excelled in everything she did. The two of them have heard numerous nereids reporting her... spiteful deeds.

So, they were dumbfounded beyond belief when (Y/N) simply smiled and assured them, "Please rise. There is no need to apologize. You have done nothing wrong."

Huh?

Were the rumors... wrong?

     ⎾ DECEMBER 5 ⏌

     They were seriously mistaken about their master being... terrifying, mean and selfish. She was the polar opposite of those words. From what they have observed, she was gentle and understanding. She was someone who didn't have to be here and deserved to be in a place where she would be much happier. From time to time they were shown her kindness and they wanted to believe in her.

They have also watched her approached the other nereids, only to have her spite on. They have also watched her help those who are in pain, only to be misjudged and receive punishment for no reason.

So the nereids spread false rumors about her so no one could approach her...? Thinking of that may or may not risen anger from the lady-in-waiting and knight. They misunderstood her the whole time and even believed the words of those wicked nereids. They couldn't forgive themselves for that. Especially the fact that they realized that (Y/N) has been suffering like this in silence for almost two years.

She had no allies to turn on.

Their lady was just a child.

No child should ever go through something as inhumane as this.

The lady-in-waiting poured tea on her master's cup. She worriedly glanced at (Y/N) who had just suffered physical assaults from the nereids. She pursed her lip. Yes, she admits that she has been through a lot, ever since she has been here, but... she can't just imagine how much pain her master has went through. "I would never be able to handle that," she muttered.

And unbeknownst to her, (Y/N) and the knight heard her. The knight was about to scold her for speaking so blatantly, but he stopped when (Y/N) tilted her head in confusion. "Endure what, if I may ask?"

The brunette flinched. She looked down, but answered, "What the... nereids are doing to you. They are too much. It is true that I suffered because I am a human, however compared to you, milady, I—"

"Stop right there, miss," (Y/N) firmly yet softly scolded her. "There is no need for comparison when it comes to pain and suffering. If you are in pain, then you are in pain. You do not have to say that 'you have suffered much more' than me, because you withstood so much anguish as well." The eight-year-old girl smiled, not aware of the bewildered gazes she was receiving.

"Though... I really appreciate your worry. Other than my parents, this is the first time I have received such concern."

She stood from her seat and bowed at the flabbergasted servants.

"For that, I am eternally grateful."

▂▂▂

YEAR 2005

     ⎾ MARCH 20 ⏌

     "Milady, are you not curious about our names?" The lady-in-waiting asked. Along with the knight, she has grown comfortable and close to (Y/N). It has been months since then, and the three of them can have casual conversations, but not once did their master ask them about their identity. She'd simply call them 'miss' and 'mister'.

But the important thing is... she was still the same kind and tranquil (Y/N)... even after going through so much.

(Y/N) replied, "I am, but for me to know about it will be risky to the two of you. After all, you have been told by the superiors not to reveal anything about yourselves." She sipped on her tea and carefully put it on the table. "I do know that the two of you are from Japan and that you have similar... accents, was it...? I'm not entirely sure, I apologize."

The knight only smiled. "As expected of Milady, you are really observant."

The lady-in-waiting pursed her lips and put a hand on her chest as a sign of introducing herself, "I came from Miyagi."

(Y/N) reached out to her. "Um... what—?"

"I also came from Miyagi," The knight followed.

"Huh...?" (Y/N) let out, confused. "I know that it is a prefecture from Japan, but why are you—"

They suddenly whispered to themselves:

"Lady (Y/N) is puzzled. We should give our full name, shouldn't we?"

"Of course. After all, the lady that we trust should know it."

"Eh?"

The lady-in-waiting smiled at her master's visible confusion. This is the first time they have seen her so flustered. It was adorable to be honest. "I am Akina. Kunimi Akina. I may not look like it, but I am already fifteen years old, milady."

A six year gap...? (Y/N) thought and turned to her knight. "How about you...?"

The knight grinned. "I am glad that you asked." He bowed his head. "I am Noi. Udai Noi. This is also another great coincidence, but me and Akina-san are of the same age."

Akina... and Noi... (Y/N) felt herself tearing up. Her dream had come true. She was... finally getting along with others. I did it, Father.

She suppressed it and beamed. "It is nice... to finally know the two of you." She knew that she did not have to trust someone other than her mother, yet these two... she was willing to give her faith in them. She inclined her head in curiosity. "What did you call Miss Akina though...? 'Akina-san', was it? Why do you call her that?"

Noi excitedly answered in question, "Oh, in Japan, we have something called honorifics! And we use that to be more formal! Me and my twin use other honorifics though!" He was so exhilarated to talk and ramble about his homeland and family that he didn't notice the endeared smile that he got from both (Y/N) and Akina.

Once he got tired of speaking so much, Noi watched their master talk to his fellow servant.

"In Japan, milady, we have something called ube. It is very delicious, you know? Also, have you heard of the sport volleyball? It is extremely fun! I play it with my brother back in the days! I really wish we could play it someday!" Noi had never heard Akina speak with so much vigor and excitement. He smiled, happy to see the tense air around them finally lifting up.

For the first time, he relaxed.

Yet at the same time, his eyes were only fixated on (Y/N)'s smile.

He clenched his fists, determined.

I will definitely...

▂▂▂

YEAR 2006

NOI's POV

     ⎾ MAY 4 ⏌

     My blood is pumping through every vein in my body, my heart is beating so fast that I may be diagnosed with arrhythmia, and I am filled with so much fear that I feel myself vomiting my soul.

I held my sword tightly, staring at the doors of the royal kingdom.

I want to help Lady (Y/N). I do not want her to suffer anymore. I do not want see such a kind person to lose her smile. She has done so much for us, yet we cannot even do a single thing for her. She tells us numerous times that there is no need for us to pay her back, but no... I can't accept that.

Even she needs a little help sometimes.

I opened the door and as expected, was met by the constant perturbed gazes that the sea nymphs always had. They are utterly revolted to see not of their being in this kingdom. Though, I cannot help but quickly notice one difference.

There was someone who looked like milady.

Up there, I discreetly glanced at the knight beside Your Highness Andromeda, who looked at me without any emotion. I clenched my fists. So this is the Monarch of Destruction, (M/N). The question, 'Are you not curious about your daughter's well being?' continues to eat up my insides. Yet I decide not to ask. As I might be executed on the spot.

At a time like this, I can't believe I'm chuckling.

Maybe because I am fully aware that I might be killed right here...?

After I say all these.

Lady (Y/N), please lend me a little bit of the courage and perseverance you have.

Even just for now.

▂▂▂

"Greetings. I am the assigned knight of Death, Noi. I have come here to speak on my own will, which is why when the moment comes where this lowly being says anything that may displease you, please do not hesitate to give me a grotesque punishment."

(M/N) reacted a little. Death...? Her shoulders stiffening at the name.

Perseus and Andromeda shared glances. The king nodded. "Continue."

Noi took a deep gulp.

"Please give Lady (Y/N) more freedom."

Chaos ensued.

The rulers immediately signaled the guards to escort him outside. "Take him to that room."

Noi struggled at the arms holding him. "Milady does not deserve any of this! Why must you all continue to discriminate her when she has done nothing wrong?! Also, do not even think of restraining me! I am right, aren't I?! You are too blind to see the truth because of so much ugliness blocking your way!" He snarled at his fellow knights.

"I am begging you, please! Lessen my lady's burdens! This is too much for a young girl like her!"

Andromeda only laughed. "Interesting. Are you saying that on Death's behalf, you will be the one to take her beatings?"

So they really do all of those things to her...! Noi boiled in anger. Despite his mad thoughts, he stayed motionless on his spot, black eyes recalcitrantly glaring at the queen. "Yes, she does not know any of this, so I am begging you to punish only me. I will come every single day without fail to obnoxiously beg and prostate myself to you until you give Lady (Y/N) the peace she deserves." He growled.

"And if you do not listen, I will take your heads and serve it to my lady."

More chaos ensued at his bold declaration.

"You crazy human!"

"You're going mad!"

"Please execute him!"

Perseus frowned deeply. "A first-grade punishment suits him. (M/N), take him."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"You are a foolish man who has done nothing but risk his own life." Noi heard his lady's mother carry him from behind and mumble to the side of his ear. He frowned, about to protest until he heard (M/N) whispering quietly, "But, thank you for protecting my daughter."

A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips.

"I will make sure to pay you back tenfold."

Even when he was going to face a punishment that would send him to near death—

Noi smiled.

He couldn't describe the warmth that blossomed in his chest when he realized that someone other than him and Akina was on (Y/N)'s side.

▂▂▂

     ⎾ Noi-san, are you alright? ⏌

     Noi flinched at his lady's question. He smiled, noting quickly that their lady has learned the Japanese honorifics before nodding. "Yes, of course. Why do you ask?" Milady is a sharp lady, so I have to hide these injuries in a more inconspicuous manner. If she notices, she will blame herself and try to give herself more punishment. I wouldn't like my hardwork of begging everyday to go to waste. He looked around. Luckily, Akina-san isn't here... or else, she'll notice, too, and will try to pry.

The young (Y/N) shook her head and returned his smile. "Oh, it is nothing. I have just noticed that you have bruises on your right arm. Training must have been hard for you."

"Yes, certainly." Noi noticed the clips on the sides, courtesy of Akina, who gave it to her in secret. He tilted his head. "This may be audacious of me, but will you allow me to design your hair?" (Y/N) glanced at him in surprise and... bewilderment. He clenched his fists at her reaction. So, no one has ever done her hair before. He walked over her and took the brush set on the table. "Similarly to me, my brother has long hair, so I play with his hair from time to time. I watch some videos on YouTube."

"You... Tube...?" (Y/N) trailed off.

"Ah, it is an app... where you watch videos. I believe Akina-san has taught you what an app is?"

"Yes, she did. You and her have taught me several things that I will treasure for the rest of my life."

Noi smiled and softly combed her (H/C) locks. "Is that so...? I am happy that you think like that." There were many knots in her hair, but he carefully untangled it with his fingers. "I'm sorry," he quietly apologized as he noticed his lady grip her clothes. He narrowed his eyes and stopped what he was doing. "Milady."

(Y/N) stiffened at his grave tone. "Yes?"

"If you are in pain, please say so."

"Huh?"

The knight walked in front of her and knelt. He reached out for her hand and tightly held it. Not a tight hold that will hurt her, but a tight grip that said 'I will protect you'. He buried his forehead on the back of her hand, ignoring the confused noises from (Y/N). "If you are miserable, if you are sullen... anything... tell me. You can talk for years about yourself, I will listen and lend you myself for an eternity." He breathed shakily and looked up to her. His gaze making (Y/N)'s heart skip a beat.

It was so passionate and earnest.

It is as if he only had his eyes on her.

"Milady, I am and will always be your shoulder. You can lean on me whenever you want."

"If you feel like breaking apart, please... look for me."

He smiled.

"And, once you have found me, you can cry and... let it all out. All of it."

▂▂▂

YEAR 2007

     ⎾ Milady! ⏌

     Akina came rushing, sweat trailing on her beautiful face and heavy pants leaving her chest. (Y/N) approached her, looking worried and startled. She gave Akina some water and helped her recollect herself. But, the brunette was so stubborn. She shook her head and grabbed (Y/N)'s arms. "Please...! Please head to the royals' room!"

"Huh? Why—?"

"Noi-san and your mother are being executed in the guillotine!"

(Y/N)'s world stopped.

"A monster like you isn't allowed to step on this place!"

"Get away or else you'll have the same fate as your mother and your lovely knight!"

Akina growled at the words. "You dare speak to milady like—?!"

"I can kill you any time I want." The lady-in-waiting's breath hitched at the words. She slowly turned to her master, only to see her normally warm (E/C) orbs, holding so much... coldness and animosity. Akina has never seen (Y/N) like that. The knights scowled at her, as if not believing her words.

But, the moment (Y/N) raised her hand, they gulped in fear.

"If you do not want to lose your precious, trivial lives, then move."

"THE MONSTER IS HERE!"

"WHO LET HER IN?!"

"SHE'S GOING TO WREAK CHAOS!"

"STOP HER!"

Piles of corpses and blood left (Y/N)'s every step.

Akina by her side, trembled in fear, yet she still grabbed on her master's arm.

"Are you scared of me?" (Y/N) asked, gentleness visible on her tone.

"Yes..." The brunette wiped her tears. "But, this is necessary. I will follow you forever, Lady (Y/N)."

(Y/N) smiled.

"I am glad that you understand, Akina-san."

It will soon be over.

Wait for me.

Mother, Noi-san.

"You arrived at the most exciting part, Death."

Andromeda clapped her hands and gestured at the guillotines present before her. There laid (M/N) and Noi who were staring at (Y/N), as if telling her to stay and run away, because she doesn't stand a chance against the queen. "You always acted like a rabbit in disguise, suffering silently at the sidelines, when in reality... you were a great dragon watching over the skies. We were about to cut the rope, but the way you murdered all of the nobles so easily stopped us."

(M/N) and Noi gasped.

(Y/N)... murdering someone...?

Perseus looked blank, but there was interest flooding his silver orbs. "Truly... our masterpiece for the war."

"For giving us that amusing performance, I will consider giving you a reward. What would you like us to do?" Andromeda asked.

Akina felt sick in the stomach. Her fellow sea nymphs just died and she calls it amusing...? What in the actual hell...?

(Y/N) lifted her one finger. "Hm... then... Firstly, I would like to ask you something." Seeing that the king and queen were willing to listen, she continued, "Do you remember making times hard for my father?"

"I do, that was a bliss."

"Oh, then do you also remember conducting Mother into harsh environments?"

"Yes, that was the most interesting."

"Lastly... do you remember what you have done to me?"

Andromeda smiled.

"Of course."

(Y/N) chuckled and clapped her hands, mimicking the queen.

"Then as a reward, I would like your death."

"Huh?"

Everyone was looking at her as if she was crazy and despite the other guards ready to execute, (Y/N) dared to speak with a lighthearted tone, "Strike one, you hurt my father, strike two, you make my mother suffer and strike three is laying a hand on my precious friends." She lifted her right hand, bringing her thumb to her middle finger. "Those are three strikes on my book, so—"

"—why should I not step on your lowly existences and make you drown to the deepest depths of hell?"

(Y/N) snapped her fingers.

"Die."

▂▂▂

     ⎾ It has been a while, my daughter. ⏌

     (M/N) and the rest of the humans who were kidnapped by the nereids were already by the shore. They were finally back at the human realm. They were all soaked from travelling through the sea. They were finally free from the nereids' shackles. The humans looked confused and scared at the same time. They feared for their lives because they were familiar of how terrifying and powerful the Monarch of Destruction is. Even if she was the one responsible for transporting them here.

(Y/N) turned to her mother and accepted her embrace. "It is, Mother."

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone for so long, I... couldn't do anything."

"It's alright. I understand."

You always do... (M/N) tightened her hug and patted her head. "Still, I am glad that you have someone that you can trust. Your maid is named... Miss Akina, right? I always see her arguing with others and defending you. And your knight, Mister Noi... is honestly astonishing." (Y/N) looked up, puzzled. (M/N) smiled and caressed her cheek. "Since it is all over, I guess I will tell you."

"Noi has been... begging for your freedom to the King and Queen everyday. I was the one assigned to punish him, but I wasn't doing my job, so... we... were ordered to be executed."

(Y/N) froze.

What...?

"But, everything is alright now!" (M/N) assured her and gripped on her hands in exhilaration. "Now that we're all free, the three of you can—"

"No." (Y/N) bit her bottom lip. Because of me they were almost... "It's not alright, Mother."

"Eh...?"

"Mother, you can do it, too, right?"

"Do what?"

"Erase memories."

(M/N) flinched. "Yes, I do... but why..." Her eyes widened. "Wait! Are you planning to erase the memories of everyone here? Does that include..." Her words were lost when she saw Akina and Noi conversing and approaching the two of them eagerly from behind. "No... (Y/N). You're... joking, right? I am fine with erasing the memories of the other humans here, but including Miss Akina and Mister Noi...? Aren't the three of you friends? And don't you love—"

"It is exactly because we hold each other precious."

(Y/N) held her mother's arms, eyes desperate. "I will be the one responsible for erasing theirs... I do not want them to remember all of this... pain. I wish to erase all of it. I will be the one to bear responsibility. So please... Mother... just this one time."

(M/N) inhaled and exhaled.

I'm such a failure of a mother.

"Alright... I will listen to you."

"Milady!" Akina approached (Y/N) in excitement. "We can finally go home...?" They noticed the frown on her face and became concerned. They shared glances and asked, "Are you alright? Did you use too much of your mageia?"

Noi patted (Y/N)'s head and smiled. "If that is the case, Lady (Y/N) should get some re—" He was intervened by a small hand covering the entirety of his head. He blinked, chuckling in amusement. "What are you doing, milady? Patting my head, too?"

"I wish you will forgive me for this."

"Huh?" Noi and Akina chorused.

(Y/N) smiled, mageia flowing on her hands.

"For all the kindness, warmth and affection you have given me... it was so much that I feel overwhelmed. Thank you." Noi and Akina's eyes widened, finally realizing what she was doing. They struggled, trying to get away from her hands. "You have also taught me so many happy things that I didn't expect. Thank you."

"Akina-san, you taught me the most priceless gift of friendship. That is something that I will always remember. I love you so much." The brunette teared up, pleading and begging for her to stop. "Noi-san, too, you have given me much more than you have realized. I will treasure you for the rest of my life. You have given me something invaluable, and I will never forget it."

Love.

"I am not very good with words, so the only things that I can say is thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much."

Akina was sobbing. "Milady...! Please, don't!"

Noi was on the verge of tears. "I beg you to stop this, Lady (Y/N)! I l—"

"Goodbye."

The two of them passed out on the beach, tears on their faces.

A tear cascaded on (Y/N)'s cheek.

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

❝I love you, too, Noi.❞

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

A/N: Sheeshhh, this chapter took so long to update, my goodness, I'm so sorry about that. But, it's 10K words so I hope you all enjoyed the angst in this chapter (I honestly think the quality dropped, lmao). Don't worry, it won't be like this on the next one, it will be back to comedy and fluff again!

So yeah, the name of (Y/N)'s first love is the name of the chapters all along, and yes, if you read properly and saw Akina and Noi's surnames, we might be seeing the two of them soon ;)) Hopefully, this also explains how Kunimi knew about special beings. There was a lot of storytelling in this chapter, so it might be confusing to some, so please feel free to ask some questions if you want!

That is all from me, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! See you at the next one! Stay safe and healthy! Sending lots of love to all of you!