Ever offered food to a band of pigeons? Whenever I visited my grandma’s, I always enjoyed feeding the pigeons which flocked to her backyard. After sprinkling the food around, I’d watch fascinated at the manner in which they'd all come scrambling for it – each one eagerly wanting to partake.
In a way, the students at Ravens High were like pigeons. Whenever any new incident popped up, they dived at it all at once. And that was exactly what was happening now – their whispers and snickers following us like background music.
But unlike those pigeons who didn’t care about whether anyone watched them as they ate, the students here weren't as open with their dealings. Snickers would be suppressed when we drew closer, and whispers would meet an abrupt halt, only to continue when we were a little ahead.
As I watched it all now, I found myself moving back in time to a similar scene, but a different story.
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*2 years ago*
I braved another glance at the video on my phone. And like the previous times before, I felt my insides turn at the sight.
How could someone be so sick as to do this? Because only someone with a sick mind would be fine with recording something like this and posting it all over school. I mean, it was literally such a twisted thing to do.
In the past, I’d come across a number of videos like these, but I never cared to dwell on them. If anything, I was never really able to understand the obsession most people had with them. And now that it was happening to me, I still couldn’t understand people’s obsession with it.
As if on cue, two guys who I recognised from the baseball team were now erupting into loud cheers as I got out of my car, saying something along the lines of: ‘way to go, Brooke – that’s how you do it!’
However, in the face of my pointed glare, they were quick to scurry out of my sight.
Now though, I ignored the stares from everyone around me. Although, to be fair, that wasn’t exactly something new; they were always staring anyway. However, this time was different.
It was the way they stared, gazes piercing, like I was some lab rat on a table which they were examining through and through. Under their gaze, I felt…exposed.
My first instinct was to run, to go as far away as I possibly could from their prying eyes. But I didn’t do that.
Instead, my jittery hands clutched tightly to my phone for support, strutting cooly past the eagle-eyed students as though I wasn’t aware of their presence.
But I was. And with every single step of mine, I became even more aware of it. Still, I continued on anyway – perfectly calm on the outside, a wreck of nerves on the inside.
Hence, I couldn’t help but be a little relieved when I caught sight of my friends standing a small distance away. As I approached them though, I found myself sucking in a small breath, feeling my initial bravado begin to falter.
I mean, it was one thing to act like I was okay, and it was another to act like I was okay in front of my friends. Still, I was determined to try anyway.
Hence, the ‘cheery’ smile that formed on my lips now. “Hey, bit–”
Shay was the first to cut in. “Oh my god, B,” she started, features slightly creased in concern. “I saw the video. Are you okay?”
“Ye—”
“Don’t pay attention to any of the shit they’re saying; they’re all just jealous. You know Carson’s a hottie,” Beck chimed, giving me a playful nudge.
I could only manage a weak titter in response. “Yeah, so about that––”
“How was it?” Sunny was now asking.
“No, nothing like––”
But yet again, my attempt at my explanation was left hanging. This time, from Shay’s chirpy: “yeah, tell us everything.”
And now, Sunny and Beck were already echoing their agreement, all of them sporting matching grins, faces expectant.
“There’s really nothing to…”
“So, how was he?”
god, could a girl not finish a sentence anymore? And what was with these ‘how’ questions? Were they also under the impression that Carson and I did it?
Although, as much as I hated to admit it, that stupid video sure made it seem like we did. Heck, if I didn’t know better, I might also have believed we did it after watching the video.
But that wasn’t the point of interest right now. The point was that nothing happened – at least not in the way the video sought to show. And I needed to tell my friends that.
My lips parted to do just that when I spotted Carson a distance away, his friends around him, all of them seeming to be cheering him on or something. In fact, one of them was now patting him on the shoulder, gaze fleeting towards me before saying something to Carson, earning a laugh from the latter. Carson in turn, responded with something of his own which left both him and his friends laughing like a bunch of hyenas.
However, when he caught my stare, his laughter was quick to die down, with his eyes suddenly turning shifty. And if I wasn’t sure of what had them laughing and cheering so much before, I definitely was now.
And Carson was just sucking it up like the asshole he was. I could already imagine him saying how he fucked the brains out of ‘her,’ while his friends lauded him for scoring one of the most desired girls in school.
But while he could bask in all of that, he couldn’t even muster the nerve to look me in the eye. It was almost as pathetic as it was enraging.
Beck, though, was now saying something about how we’d all lost our V-cards. And this time, when I returned my attention to them, there were no nervous attempts at trying to explain what really happened.
I instead chuckled, oh-so-casually linking my arm with Shay’s, all the while taking purposeful steps towards where a particular someone was standing with his friends.
And it was only when I was certain we were within earshot of them, that I spoke. “Seriously guys, it was really nothing special,” I started, assuming an unmissable blitheness in my tone. I stared directly at Carson now, lips curled in a smirk as I added, “it was just a plain, old, boring fuck.”
Yeah, the reddening of his face was as instant as the ‘oohs’ from his friends who patted him on the back. However this time, it wasn’t from admiration, but rather, as a form of comfort.
My friends though, were now bubbling with mirth at my remark, all of them completely unaware of how Carson's eyes fleeted in shame, and of the smug look I threw at him.
And now that I thought about it, maybe it’d be best if they remained unaware. Not just about Carson being a spineless jerk, but about what really happened in the video.
What did it matter anyway? Besides, they looked so happy about all of us being non-V’s. So, how could I tell them of how I always froze whenever I tried to shred the whole virginal personality?
Just this time – just this one lie. Besides, I doubted it’d be a lie for much longer.
And with that thought, I let myself laugh over something Sunny was now saying.
However, my humorous state didn’t last long. Just then, I caught sight of three students from my class whispering to themselves as they stared from me to their phones, heads shaking in distaste all the while. Which then begged the question: ‘if it was so distasteful, why keep watching?’
As I neared them though, they were quick to chuck their phones away, and the sight made me smile to myself.
“Hey,” I called, voice seemingly light. “Come on, you didn’t have to stop watching just yet. So, what’s your favorite part? You know, mine is that one where it was like I was going down on him or something.” I pretended to savor the memory, biting softly on my lip. “That was really nice though.”
“No…that is…actually we were…”
But it was too late for their helpless floundering. Throwing them an extra ‘sweet’ smile, I walked away, my friends in tow.
“Damn girl, that was good,” Shay complimented with a proud grin, with Beck and Sunny echoing their agreement.
I, however, could only offer a small chortle, all the while tightening my grip on my phone.
I was fine. I was completely fine. I was...not fine – but I would be. I had to be.
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Following that whole Carson thing, I’d decided never to let myself get affected by whatever people chose to think of me – at least, not on the outside.
And I’d done good by that decision for the longest time now. But then, that was when it was just about me. Now, however, one of my best friends was involved.
And even though she laughed at the pictures which had somehow circulated everywhere despite being taken down from the original site, joking about how none of them captured her good side, I could sense the subconscious tightening of her arm against mine with every ‘discreet’ stare cast her way, and every accompanying ‘whisper.
Seriously though, people really needed to upgrade their definition of whispers. However, at the moment, there were more important things to worry about than whispering skills.
Remember those pictures Sunny mentioned pervy guy had taken? Well, being the asshole that he was, he’d released the pictures on some anonymous site.
Of course, anyone with two eyes and a brain which wasn’t out to find shit, would realize that many things were off about the pictures. For one thing, Sunny had her eyes closed in many, with her arms reaching out, obviously trying to push him away.
Want to guess how that was interpreted by the students here?
Well, she had her eyes closed in a moment of wild ecstasy, reaching to pull him closer to herself like the ‘slut’ that she was. After all, would you look at the way those boobs were out on display? And look at those shots where she was letting him pull her dress up, exposing her panty line. She was absolutely shameless! She was obviously encouraging him to shift her panties, so he could finger her.
They were endless – all the crap they had to say; each one more insensitive than the last.
And it grew even worse now, as we stepped into the cafeteria. But when I glanced, concerned at Sunny, she threw me a small smile in return, as though saying, ‘I’m fine, really.’
But I knew from experience that no one would be fine with being the object of people’s harsh judgements. Still, I threw her a smile of my own in return – albeit one which was soon fading at the sound of a familiar voice. It was familiar because it’s hard to forget how annoying the owner was.
Ted Dickson a.k.a Kent’s former acquaintance.
Kent realizing how much of a douche Ted was, and then deciding to cut him off, was honestly one of the best things that had happened in my life these past weeks.
Sadly though, I couldn’t cut him off from my sight, hence why he was now next to us. “Sunny baby,” he cheered, facing the girl beside me. But even more annoying than his stupid face, was his hand which had now moved to slap her ass, saying, “oh, I can’t wait to get some of that. It’s pretty good stuff from what I’ve seen.”
You know how it’s always good to try giving people the benefit of the doubt? Well, there was no doubt here – Ted was complete trash. And I obviously wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
“Hey, dick face, what the fuck was that?” Beck roared, squaring up to him, eyes blazing in a way that showed she was ready to fuck him up real good.
Everyone’s attention had been drawn to us, eagerly taking in the scene that was unfolding before their eyes.
But someone else wasn’t as eager to share in their thirst for drama. “Beck, please,” Sunny started, voice barely above a whisper – almost as though she was scared that if she went any higher, she’d break. “Just ignore him. It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not,” Shay flared, the anger in her voice directed at Ted – who for the record, still didn’t look the least bit remorseful about his actions.
And it was clear in his saying, “hey, it’s not a big deal if I just wanted to feel the real thing to con––”
But that was how far he was able to go before a new figure came rushing in, shoving him so violently, that he was left to helplessly stagger backward like the coward that he was.
Kent.
“You fucking bastard,” Kent seethed, already taking steps towards him, raw anger burning through his eyes with an intensity that made it almost hard to believe it was Kent. But it was. And now, I was reaching over to grab his arm, stopping him from what his raised fist intended to do with a soft shake of my head.
For a moment, a really long moment, he looked like he was ready to shake my hand off and go ahead to give Ted the whooping he so badly deserved. But thankfully, he didn’t – something which I was sure proved even more frustrating for him, as was clear from his groan.
However, the dick, Ted Dickson – gosh, that actually explained a lot. Well, he just jeered. “Why are you all over reacting? It’s not like I said anything wrong. She let that guy have it, and I was just asking for a turn too.”
All this while he’d been going on, I’d chosen to ignore him because of Sunny. But now, I had no problem leaving her in Shay’s care, just so I could step in front of him, my voice coming out dangerously low, asking: “what did you just say?”
In his fool’s swagger, his response came as: “I was just asking little miss slut for a chance to…”
And that did it.
With as much force as I could muster, my fist came connecting squarely with his nose, leaving a collective gasp to pass through the cafeteria.
Two thoughts came crossing through my mind.
The first was: ‘dang, that felt good!’
The second was: ‘holy shit, that hurt like a bitch!’
But I ignored both thoughts, focusing instead on the boy who stayed crouched on the floor, holding his bloody nose.
“Fuck,” he cried. “You just broke my nose!”
Duh, that was the whole point. Seriously, how dumb was this guy?
Well, one thing was clear though – I’d have to thank Jeff Moose for his nose breaking technique because it sure worked wonders. But that’d be right after I was done with this dirt bag a.k.a Ted.
“What was that you said? Slut? Who gave you the right to decide who is or isn’t a slut?” I fired, eyeing him sharply.
And I won’t lie, I felt the strongest surge of satisfaction at the way he flinched when I took a step towards his crouching form. The coward.
Fixing him with the iciest glare I could give, I turned away from him to stare at the wide-eyed spectators around us. “Who gave any of you the right to decide who’s a slut?”
What followed was a bunch of shifty stares. Well, until…
“We’re not the ones who sleep around,” Kaylee sneered softly – but loud enough for me to hear. She was standing with her boyfriend, Tom, clutching him like candy.
“Oh, I see,” I mused, feigning understanding. “So, according to you, having and enjoying sex makes a girl a slut.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she jumped in – quite defensively at that. She was obviously beginning to feel a little self-conscious – something I figured had to do with that whole feminism parade she had going on a few months ago.
“Then what do you mean?”
“Well that… that uh…”
But it was another voice that helped her out – Nick Matthews, the leader of the school's church group.
“No one is implying anything here, Brooke. But according to the Bible, sexual immorality is something detestable to the Lord. And it is not too late for all who’ve been misled towards such a path to change.”
For someone who wasn’t implying anything, he sure implied a lot.
Hence, why I was now turning to face him, asking, “else?”
“Well,” he started, with a ‘helpful’ smile. “Their portion is to burn in the lake of fire.”
“You don’t say,” I remarked blithely. “You know, Nick, I really appreciate how much you know about what the scriptures say. Then maybe you’ll also know what it says about those who think they have the right to judge others, and those who ridicule others with their snide remarks because in their heads, they are fucking perfect and everyone else is flawed.”
He seemed taken aback by that, leaving a smirk to form on my lips. Although, internally, I was secretly hoping he didn’t ask me which scripture said that, because I sure as hell didn’t know. But it had to be there somewhere, right?
Well, before he could even get a chance to question it, I went on, my gaze moving away from him. “I’m sure that a good number of you here are sexually active. But of course, it’s not a big deal when you do it. But when it gets caught on camera it’s: ‘oh Lord, deliver this slut!’
What right do you have to judge anyone? What makes you feel like you’re so much better when you’re probably doing the same? What makes you think you can stand in a corner and talk shit about anyone’s character? Do you even know Sunny?”
I didn’t care that Jason had entered the cafeteria, and that he was now staring at me like everyone else. I also didn’t care that my voice rose higher with each question.
But I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I was so fucking done with having to deal with all of their messed up ideas.
“Of course you don’t! You all just see what you want to see. You think you know enough to play judge and jury. But what do you even know? Tell me!”
By now the silence was so thick, that if a strand of hair hit the ground, it would probably make a sound. No one could even properly hold my gaze. But I wasn’t quite done yet.
“So, Sunny’s a slut, right? Well, this slut is also one of the nicest people I know. She’s caring, understanding, and if you must know, she’s never once talked badly about a single person in this school.
Viral or not, this slut has never viewed or shared any compromising pictures or videos because she considers doing so to be degrading for those in it. I dare any of you here to tell me one time, just one time, when Sunny made fun of anyone who’s being made fun of by everyone else? Can any of you do that?” My gaze swept challengingly through theirs. And of course, none of them were able to say anything.
Until…
“When that video came up of Ryder publicly breaking up with me, saying I was uninteresting, Sunny told me that I shouldn’t feel bad over what he said, because he was just trying to feel better about himself for being a boring fuck,” Eva piped up, smiling slightly.
And even I couldn’t help but betray a small smile. Yeah, that sounded a hell lot like Sunny.
“When that dick pic spread around school last year, and everyone called me baby finger,” Leo chimed, looking a little embarrassed at the mention of his nickname from a few months ago. “Sunny told me not to pay them any mind, and that she’d totally fuck me any day.”
“When Xander told everyone I was a prude because I refused to sleep with him last year, Sunny told me not to let his dumb comments affect me. She said I didn’t do anything wrong, because it’s my body, and I have the right to choose when and with whom I want to have sex.”
And that was Tiana.
“When I was caught having sex with Logan in the locker room, and everyone called me a cheap skate whore, Sunny told me to ignore them because…” Jennifer stopped then, chuckling softly before adding, “because there was nothing better than locker room sex.”
“There really isn’t,” Sunny piped up from behind me, sharing a small smile with Jennifer.
“When I…”
Travis.
Kiara.
Jane.
Tania.
Andrew.
Josephine.
They all had something to say. And each one brightened Sunny’s face in the same way it must have brightened them up at that point in time when she told them all those things in her usual, cheerful manner.
“But despite all this, she’s a slut, right?” I asked, chuckling dryly. “If being like Sunny means being a slut, then maybe we should all become sluts because…”
I cast long meaningful stares at a shifty-eyed Nick and Kaylee before adding, “I’ll much rather be a slut, than a fucking hypocrite.”
I looked over at my friends, only to find them already staring at me with smiles on their faces, with Sunny’s looking quite teary-eyed – but not the sad type this time.
I simply shot her a wink, before returning to staring through the crowded room, saying, “so, I guess that makes me a proud slut.”
“Not just you,” a voice piped up. Shay. “I’m a proud slut too.”
“I’m a proud slut too,” Beck chimed.
“So am I. I’m a proud slut too,” Kent joined in, leaving me chortling despite myself.
“I’m also a proud slut.” And of course, that was Jason. I smiled at him as he placed a small kiss on my forehead.
“I’m a proud slut too.” Josephine.
“I’m also a proud slut.” Tiana.
“I’m a…”
And so, it went, until more than half of the students in the cafeteria were making declarations of: ‘I’m a proud slut too’ and ‘I’m also a proud slut.’
But one in particular caught my interest. “I’m also a proud slut,” Sunny declared, reaching for my hand, a soft smile on her lips. “And I’m a proud best friend too.”
“Me too,” I whispered into her hair as we went in for a hug, which was soon to turn into a full-on BFF hug when Beck and Shay joined in.
However, it wasn’t long before I caught sight of a familiar pair of gray eyes – its owner beaming at me while holding two thumbs up.
And in that moment, I let everything else fade away, so all that remained was me basking in the warmth that came with being around the ones I loved – Sunny, Shay, Beck, Kent, Jason, and a particular SpongeBob who I’d somehow fallen hopelessly in love with.