chapter iii. | holly jolly
"why did you take them?"
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WHEN CASSIE GOT HOME ON TUESDAY NIGHT, she crashed immediately, exhausted from her trip with Jonathan during the day and her search party volunteering during the night. That was why she was so grumpy when she heard Dustin get up early in the morning, coincidentally waking her up.
Pulling on her hoodie, she walked out to the front door where she saw Dustin mounting his bike, his backpack suspiciously full.
"Going somewhere, adventurer?" she asked, making Dustin turn around, a guilty look on his face. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her eyebrows raised expectantly as she leaned against the doorframe.
"I'm going over to Mike's," he gulped. She sighed.
"Dusty, it's," she looked down at her watch, "7:30. Why do you have to be at Mike's so early?"
"Um, uh, me, Lucas and Mike are riding together to school! Yeah, that's it. We don't want anyone else to go missing," he hurried.
"Okay," said Cassie sceptically. "Just be careful, okay?" Dustin nodded.
"Yeah, of course. Bye, love you!" he called, pedalling down the street. She shook her head with a small smile.
"Idiot," she whispered to herself before returning to her bedroom to get ready for the day.
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When Cassie arrived at school, she almost threw up when she saw Steve Harrington kiss Nancy Wheeler at her locker.
"Nice hair, Harrington," she said as she passed. "What do you use to get the volume? My dog would really like to know."
"Real original, Henderson," he called after her, earning him another middle finger.
Finally making it to her locker, Cassie was surprised to see Jonathan standing there waiting for her. Some people stared at him as they passed, making him curl into himself more. He usually stood a bit hunched and timid, and the staring was not helping.
"Ignore them," she said, drawing Jonathan's attention from the staring. He watched her open her locker, slamming books inside.
"It's a bit hard," he replied quietly, readjusting his bag. Cassie looked behind her, glaring at those staring at the pair.
"What are you looking at?" she yelled at them, making people walk faster. She turned back to her locker. "They're all bitches, you know that right?" He furrowed his eyebrows at the girl who rummaged around her locker.
"Do you ever stop swearing?" he asked, leaning his head against the lockers, admiring her side profile. She furrowed her eyebrows, her lips quirking upwards.
"Sorry?" she chuckled questioningly.
"I don't think I've had one conversation with you where you haven't cursed," he smiled timidly, lifting his head slightly. Cassie cocked her head to the side, now looking at him directly. She took off her sunglasses slowly, hanging them on the collar of her shirt.
"You got a problem with that?" she asked teasingly, making Jonathan shake his head.
"No," he replied quickly, an almost smug smile on his face. "No, I just don't think I've ever heard a girl swear so much." Cassie shrugged.
"You probably haven't. There's a reason they call me Hawkins High School's resident bitch. And it's why a lot of mothers don't like me in this town." Jonathan chuckled, and the two started to walk to their classes.
"So, everyone here is a bitch?" he asked as they walked.
"Well, not everyone," she chuckled. "I mean, you aren't. And neither is Barbra Holland. You know her?" Jonathan nodded slowly. "But I'm pretty sure everyone else is a bitch. Or a fucker. Including myself." The two stopped in front of Cassie's English class. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"See ya, Cass," he waved, walking off.
Taking her seat, Cassie was surprised that Barbra wasn't already there. Nancy sat in the seat over, fidgeting with her hands.
"Wheeler," called Cassie, getting no response. "Hey, Wheeler!" Nancy looked over at her, a glare on her face.
"What?" scowled Nancy.
"Where's Barb?" asked Cassie, motioning to the empty seat between them. Nancy shrugged.
"I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure that out myself," said Nancy softly, concerned.
"Have you tried ringing home?" asked Cassie. Nancy shook her head.
"I thought she'd be here," answered Nancy. Cassie let out a breath, her mouth making an 'o' shape.
"Guess you'll have to ring her after school." Nancy nodded at the statement, turning her attention to the teacher that walked in.
At lunch, Jonathan had told Cassie that he was going to the darkroom to develop some photos, which left Cassie at the end of her lunch table alone. Throughout eating, all she could feel was Nancy Wheeler's eyes staring at her. Finally, after 10 minutes of staring, the Wheeler girl sat down across from Cassie.
"Hello to you-"
"I don't have any change," burst Nancy. Cassie furrowed her eyebrows.
"What?"
"I don't have any spare change to make the phone call," explained Nancy.
"So, what, you've come to ask me for some?" Nancy stayed silent. Cassie rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Wheeler, you could've just asked. I'll see what I've got."
Cassie dug into her pockets, sighing as she put her lighter and cigarettes on the table. Nancy gasped.
"You smoke?" she whispered, her face much too close for Cassie's liking.
"Yeah," she responded, leaning backwards. "You want one? You can have one if you want, just don't give it to your boyfriend Harrington over there."
"He's not my-" Nancy stopped when she saw the look on Cassie's face.
"There," said Cassie, putting a few coins in front of Nancy. "That should be enough."
"Thanks," said Nancy, taking the coins as Cassie put her cigarettes and lighter back in her pocket. "Could you..." Cassie looked up at Nancy, "Could you come with me? After school? I know we're not very fond of each other, but, I know you care about Barb-"
"Yeah, sure," grunted Cassie. Nancy nodded before walking away.
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Cassie sat on the ledge against the wall after school as Nancy picked up the pay phone. Sticking a cigarette between her lips, she lit it, letting the nicotine relax her.
"That's disgusting, you know?" said Nancy, giving a disgusted look to Cassie as she put in the number.
"Yeah, well, it helps me concentrate." Nancy furrowed her eyebrows. "Why do you think I get a good grade on my projects and not on my tests, Wheeler?"
Nancy shook her head, her features perking up as she heard Mrs Holland's voice. Cassie tuned out parts of Nancy's conversation, focusing instead on Jonathan as he walked out of the building. Her attention turned to the kids that stared at her and her cigarette. Putting up her middle finger, they stopped staring. Nancy hung up the phone, sighing, making Cassie turn to her.
"She home?" Nancy shook her head sadly. "Shit."
The girls walked up to the parking lot, glum looks on their faces. Cassie's frown turned to an angry stare as she watched Tommy H throw Jonathan's bag to Steve, as Carol, and her friend Nicole stood by Jonathan's car.
"Son of a bitch, Harrington," she mumbled under her breath, storming up to them. "Fucking Jonathan, just say something you little shit."
Nancy trailed behind her, trying to keep up with her fast pace. Steve had taken out developed photos from Jonathan's bag, him, Tommy H, and Carol looking through them.
"Hey, Harrington!" she yelled as she stormed toward them. "Are you just a dick for fun or are you a dick to get my attention? Because if it's the latter, you've certainly got it."
"Here's the leading lady!" smiled Tommy as Cassie stood beside Jonathan, Nancy standing in the middle of the two groups.
"What the fuck are you on about, Hagan?" she spat.
"What's going on?" asked Nancy.
"This creep was spying on us last night," said Carol, handing a picture to Nancy. Cassie's fists clenched as Nancy took the picture. "Who knows when he took this one of Henderson." Cassie looked up at Jonathan, who looked to the floor in shame before she snatched the picture that Carol was holding out for her.
The picture, while slightly creepy, was good. It had been taken through her window, as she could see that she was at her desk. She was re-tying her hair, her top coming up slightly to reveal a small amount of skin. Carol handed her more pictures. One was of her sketching, one was her shrugging off her jacket (it was too warm in her room).
"He was probably saving this one for later," said Carol, handing her the last picture. Cassie took it gently, her eyes widening at the photo. It was her, her hands crossed over her torso, grabbing the end of her shirt and pulling it up. You could just see the underneath of her bra.
Cassie looked up at Jonathan, who looked away from her in shame.
"See, you can tell that he knows it was wrong," spoke Steve. "But, that's the thing about perverts. It's hard-wired into them." Steve fixed up Jonathan's shirt condescendingly. "You know, they just can't help themselves."
"Lay off, Harrington," Cassie said softly.
Steve ignored her, ripping up the photos in his hand. "So, we just have to take away his toy." Steve turned back to Jonathan's bag, taking the camera out.
"Woah, okay, hold on, let's not be idiotic here," called Cassie, holding her hand out to try and stop him.
"No, please, not the camera!" pleaded Jonathan, stepping toward Steve, but being stopped by Tommy.
"No, wait, hey, hey, hey!" exclaimed Steve, stopping Tommy from beating Jonathan up. "Tommy, Tommy. It's okay."
"Don't be an absolute douchebag, Harrington," sighed Cassie. "He learned his lesson, okay? You've had your fun, let it go."
"What's wrong, Henderson?" questioned Steve tauntingly. "Got the hots for little Byers over here? I should've known that a freak like you would get all hot and heavy over someone like Jonathan Byers."
"If being friends with Jonathan Byers makes me a freak, I'll happily be called a freak for the rest of my life," Cassie spat. Steve looked her up and down before holding out Jonathan's camera to him.
"Here you go, man," said Steve, offering the camera. As Jonathan reached out to grab it, Steve dropped it, the camera shattering. Jonathan watched in horror. "Come on, let's go, the game is about to start."
Carol dropped the ripped-up photos on the ground as she, Tommy, Nicole and Steve left for the school building. Jonathan scrambled to see if he could salvage the camera, and Nancy picked up multiple pieces of the ripped photos.
"Fuck you, Harrington!" yelled Cassie. "You cowardly son of a bitch!"
Nancy ran off as Steve called for her making Cassie roll her eyes. Cassie turned back around to Jonathan, who was now standing up, his broken camera in his hands.
"You don't need to stand up for me anymore, you know?" he said quietly, and Cassie could see small tears well up in his eyes.
"Why wouldn't I?" she asked him. "You're my friend."
"Those pictures," he motioned to the photos in her hand, "should have never been taken. I'm sorry. I really am, Cassie." Cassie inhaled through her nose, looking down at the pictures in her hands.
"Can you drive me home?" she asked him. "I think you and I need to talk about these photos."
Jonathan nodded. Cassie grabbed her bike from the rack and put it in his trunk. She slid into the passenger seat, photos in hand. Jonathan started the car and started to drive out of the car park.
"As creepy as they made them out to be, they really are good photos," Cassie chuckled breathily, trying to break the thick tension.
Jonathan shook his head sadly. "I never should've taken them. Not without your permission. It was dumb. Cassie, I'm so sorry." Cassie thought for a moment.
"When did you take them?" she asked shakily.
"Monday night," he replied hoarsely, a tear sliding down his cheek. "When I dropped you home."
Seeing Jonathan cry some more, Cassie told him to pull over. The Byers boy pulled over into a dark, empty side street, parking the car. The two sat there in silence, with no music to disrupt their thoughts.
"Cassie." Cassie turned to face him. "You don't have to be my friend after this. I am so sincerely sorry for taking them and I never should have-"
"Why did you take them?" she asked, cutting him off. Jonathan stared at her.
"What?"
"Why did you take them?" she repeated.
"You're going to think it's silly," he mumbled, looking down. Cassie huffed.
"Well, I can't think anything's silly if I don't have anything to judge it on," she stated. "Please, Jonathan. Why'd you take them?" Jonathan sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"I thought you looked beautiful," he breathed out. Cassie blushed slightly. "You've always been so passionate about your art, anyone can see that. And, and you had this relaxed body language that told me how invested you were in this piece. I've noticed, you have this thing where you need to have all your hair up to concentrate and you never have your coat on during tests because it bothers you too much."
Cassie's eyes widened as Jonathan explained his observations. She would've never thought that anyone could pay that much attention to her, or cared to pay that much attention to her. While others might've thought of it as creepy, Cassie thought it was kinda endearing and sweet.
"And this one?" she asked, holding out the picture of her changing. Jonathan gulped.
"I shouldn't have taken that one. Out of all of them, that is the one I should've never even thought about taking. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"Just tell me why you took it, Jonathan," she sighed, desperate for his answer.
"You had this kinda vulnerability about you." Cassie's eyes widened as Jonathan's screwed shut. "No, not vulnerable, that sounds creepy. Um, it was like you were taking down your walls. You were taking off the tough girl exterior, your shield. I can tell that a lot of your bitchiness is an act, it's almost like a defence mechanism. But, at that moment, you were soft. You were protected in your room. You didn't need to be Hawkins High School's resident bitch." Cassie chuckled as he quoted their earlier conversation. "It was a new side of you. A side that I've seen a lot of these past few days. I was fascinated by it. It was new and exciting, and kinda beautiful."
Cassie looked up at him, shaking her head in disbelief, tears of her own welling up. "You can really see all that in a photo?"
"Yeah," he whispered, nodding his head. "One of my many talents." Cassie chuckled at him. Looking back down at the photo, a disgusting feeling rose up in her stomach as she thought about the other photos that weren't of her.
"You didn't... take any photos like this of Nancy, right?" she asked in a questioning and almost angry tone, her hands clutching tightly to the picture.
"What!" exclaimed Jonathan, frantically shaking his head. "No, no way!" Cassie sighed.
"Okay, cool," she nodded.
The feeling in her stomach went away. Her hands loosened. Cassie furrowed her eyebrows at herself. Sure, she was glad Jonathan didn't take any pictures of Nancy while she was half naked, but it wasn't only in the thought of safety. Then it hit her.
Cassandra Henderson was jealous.
Jealous of Nancy Wheeler for goodness sake, she couldn't believe herself. She didn't want Jonathan to be taking pictures of Nancy, she wanted him to be taking pictures of her. And the fact that he had only taken pictures like that of her made her feel good. She couldn't understand her brain.
"Just, promise me not to do it again? Taking pictures of them wasn't cool, and I know you know that, but, just ask people next time you take their photo," she told him, smiling slightly.
"Of course, Cass," he smiled back.
Cassie leaned over, wrapping her arms around his neck to hug him close. Jonathan froze before wrapping his arms around her waist tightly. He closed his eyes, nestling his face into the crook of her neck. He inhaled through his nose, the smell of her strawberry shampoo and sweet perfume intoxicating him. His shoulders dropped and his eyebrows unfurrowed. It was the most comfortable he had felt in days.
Her arms held him close - she could practically feel Jonathan's stress radiating off of him. Keeping one arm around him, she bent her right arm so that she could fiddle with the bottom of his hair. She ran her fingers through his hair soothingly, noticing how soft it was.
She pulled away slowly, keeping her arms situated around his neck. She inspected his face, dark bags hanging under his eyes. Cassie brought one of her arms back, resting her hand on his cheek. Her thumb brushed over his cheekbone, rubbing underneath the bags. Jonathan stared into her crystal blue eyes, studying how they shone in the light.
"When was the last time you got a decent night's sleep?" she asked him. Jonathan shrugged.
"Um, Saturday night, maybe Sunday?" he answered her, still studying her.
"Promise me you'll try and get a decent sleep tonight," she said worriedly.
"Promise." Cassie stuck out her pinkie. Jonathan chuckled before linking his pinky with hers. "I promise, Cass. I'll try."
Jonathan started the car up again, pulling out of the street. The ride back to the Henderson house was quiet, but the two seemed to enjoy it. They didn't feel like they had to make conversation. They could just, be.
The car pulled up in the driveway. Jonathan parked the car, facing Cassie. She gave him a small smile, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing tightly.
"Remember, you can always call if you need me." Jonathan nodded silently, a tight smile creeping on his face. Cassie got out of the car and watched as Jonathan left.
When Cassie got inside the house, she was surprised not to see Dustin around. Her mother reassured her that Dustin was just at the Wheeler's house, but as it got dark, Cassie got more worried. She told her mother to go to bed, and that she would stay up for Dustin. It wasn't until at least nine o'clock when Dustin entered the front door.
"Dustin?" she called as he walked into the living room. He had tear tracks down his cheeks, the bottom of his pants soaked with mud. She stood up, walking over to the smaller boy. "Hey, bud, what's up-"
Dustin attached himself to Cassie, wrapping his arms around her waist tightly. He sobbed, his tears landing on her shirt.
"Will," he blubbered. "He's dead."
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"you're the only one who keeps me sane"
*⁎ wondermusings ⁎* SPEAKS!
hi i'm always sad about will byers' having his disappearance being covered up when he was literally suffering in the upside down :(
PUBLISHED: 26/01/2023