What if Soren worked on the Wanderlust instead of the Hiraeth?
If Soren had made a different decision that day in West Draulin, the next few years of his life would have changed quite a bit, for both him and Tanden. Let's see what might have happened.
***
Soren eyed the small merchant schooner, trying to work up the courage to walk up the gangway. Or to do anything, really. He held two notes in his hand. One of them was still folded and sealed, the other was open, and he stared down at it. Checking for the umpteenth time to ensure he'd found the right ship. The ship's name was painted in white letters, the Hiraeth. There was no mistaking it.
But did he want to work on a merchant ship? It wasn't even properly part of the navy.
His father had known the ship's Captain. Soren knew it was an easy way to get a job, and he really did need a job. With his father gone, there was no one to look out for him. He needed a job.
But, maybe he didn't need this one. He was nearly fifteen, after all, and a very good worker. Why settle for a privately owned merchant without at least trying for a navy job? And if he couldn't get one, at least the Hiraeth would be back.
He slipped both letters into his pocket, took a deep breath, and turned his back on the Hiraeth.
The West Draulin Navy end of the port was nice. Cleaner, better maintained, safer—overall simply a nicer place than the other end of the port. Soren had been there before, while briefly working on a navy ship with his father the year before. That hadn't been a real job, not really, but it did give him a bit of experience in that world.
He walked along, looking at the different ships and the uniformed sailors. Slowly, it dawned on him that he wasn't quite sure how to get a navy job. Did he just walk up to one of the ships and ask? It couldn't possibly be so simple, and yet, Soren had no other ideas.
Then came the struggle of picking a ship. He avoided the military ships and anything that looked too important. What he wanted was a simple navy merchant ship. He knew how merchant ships ran, and he knew he could...
The thought vanished. Up ahead was the most beautiful ship he had ever seen. Long and sleek, with three masts holding up light blue sails. He walked closer, skirting around a group of men, eyes glued to the ship. He could just make out the name, beautifully painted.
"Wanderlust," he read out loud.
"Aye, she's pretty, isn't she?"
Soren flinched, and looked at the man in surprise. Seeing a Crelan wasn't shocking, but the man was a surprise, simply because of his clothing. He wasn't dressed in a uniform, which made Soren jump to the only conclusion he could come up with.
"Are you her captain?"
The man chuckled. "I'm a captain, but I'm not her captain. You're looking for him." He gestured towards the gangway, where a Teltan barely older than Soren was climbing onto the ship.
Soren could immediately tell he was rich. Nobody that young could be a navy captain without buying their way in.
"Why d'you want to see him, lad?"
Soren realized suddenly that he was staring after the Teltan. He shrugged and turned back to the Crelan captain. "No reason, just... d'you know if he's hirin'?"
The man smiled and clapped Soren on the shoulder. "Wouldn't hurt to ask. I'll introduce you, lad. Come on." He walked over to the gangway, leaving Soren to hurry after him. The man hopped onto the deck and Soren stuck as close as possible as they joined the group of sailors gathered around the young captain.
He was standing on the bulwark, his left arm comfortably looped through the shrouds beside him. He held a bottle of wine in his right hand. The wind toyed with the bottom of his nautical jacket and ruffled his blond hair. Even if he hadn't been the captain, it would have been hard not to watch him. He was eye-catching, both because of where he had placed himself, and his energetic excitement.
"Lads, esteemed guests! Here we are, on the first day of our adventure." Everyone fell perfectly silent to listen. "Aye, our Lady Wanderlust has already sailed across the ocean on her way to me, but this here's her new home berth and this will be her first time sailing away from it." As he spoke, the young captain pulled the cork from the wine bottle. Soren knew what he was going to do with it, but he'd never seen this type of ceremony in person.
The captain continued. "We ask the Goddess' blessing on our journey and every journey to follow! We ask the Old God of the Sea—" he paused, grinning as some of the crew cheered. Soren clapped as well. it wasn't every day a Teltan acknowledged the Crelan traditional god. "—for safe waters. We ask Roe for swift currents and we ask Tolle to calm her husband's temper. And finally, we ask the Sailor King and the Ocean Queen to guide our hands, to ensure we never slip, to keep our navigation steady and true. To the Wanderlust! And so the adventure begins!"
The crew burst into a second, more enthusiastic cheer, as the young captain poured the wine into the ocean. Again, Soren was caught up in the excitement. First the Old God of Sea, then the Sailor King and the Ocean Queen!
The man beside him laughed and clapped too. "Lad knows what he's doin'," he said quietly, more to himself than to Soren. Then he clapped Soren on the shoulder again before heading to where the captain was now standing with a pair of slightly older Teltans.
Soren followed, nerves bubbling up in his chest again. He'd almost forgotten, during the speech, that this wasn't his ship yet. It might not ever be his ship. He hung back anxiously as his Crelan friend stepped up to join the captain and the Teltans, men Soren almost felt like he recognized.
"Well done, that," the Crelan said, giving the captain the same sort of jovial clap on the shoulder.
The captain grinned. "Thanks, Roland. I hoped you'd approve."
Soren suddenly realized that he knew who the friendly man was. Roland. As in Captain Roland. The Tandrans' Captain. Which meant...
"Hard not to, panderin' like that."
"I wasn't pandering. I was truly asking all those people for blessings." The captain waved out towards the open ocean. "I don't know how much influence the Goddess has out there. If anybody know which deities to pray to out on the water, it's Crelans."
Captain Roland laughed. "Aye, I know you well enough to believe you, lad. Now listen, got room for one more 'board your beauty of a ship?"
"Want to come along, Roland?" The captain asked, grinning. "I'll have to demote you."
"Perfectly happy with my Queen," Captain Roland replied. "Lad, come here."
Soren barely heard him. His mind was too busy connecting dots, while simultaneously dismissing them, because it was impossible. It was impossible that the older Teltan was Lord West Draulin. Impossible that the other one was Lord Tandar. And very much impossible that the young captain was Lord Tanden. The Tandrans weren't just out and about for normal people to interact with. It was impossible.
"Lad," Captain Roland repeated. "Come here."
Soren forced himself to step forward. None of this was happening. It must have been a dream. But the next words out of Captain Roland's mouth shattered the dream.
"Tanden, this lad was on the pier starin' at your ship like he'd fallen in love fo' the first time," Captain Roland said. "And then he asked me if you were hirin'. So? Do you some good t' have a lad closer t' your age onboard."
Tanden—Lord Tanden—eyed Soren. "I suppose I could make room for one more. But being in love with my ship isn't enough to get you hired. What sort of experience do you have?"
It took Soren a moment to realize the question was addressed to him. "Oh, um, mostly fishing. But I worked on a navy merchant fo' a few months, last year. The, um... the WDN Swift. Sir. My lord."
"Captain is fine," Lord Tanden said. Crossing his arms, he turned to Captain Roland. "The Swift?"
Captain Roland nodded. "She's a big brigantine. Good ship. Good captain."
Lord Tanden looked at Soren again. "Why only a few months? Were you fired?"
Soren shook his head. "No, my lord. Captain, I mean, sir, I... It was my pa's job, and he got me on t' help out a bit, but then he got sick and I had t' stay with him, so..." He shrugged. "Lost touch with the Swift, is all."
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that." Lord Tanden sounded sincere, which helped calm Soren's racing heart, just a bit. "How old are you?"
Soren shifted, straightening his shoulders and clasping his hands behind his back. He was already nearly as tall as Captain Tanden. This part of the interview process, he was ready for. "Nearly fifteen, sir."
"Captain," Lord Tanden said. "How nearly?"
"Month and a half, s—" Soren caught himself. "Captain."
Captain Tanden nodded. "All right. Well, you seem like a decent lad. I can offer you—what, Rael?" He turned to his brothers, who had been silently watching the whole exchange. "Do you really think I'd stoop that low?"
The one Soren thought was Lord West Draulin cocked an eyebrow. "Just be careful, Tanden."
The other brother laughed. It was a warm, friendly laugh, even though Captain Tanden was still scowling at them both. "And for once I'm not the one riling you up."
"Incredible," Captain Tanden replied. "Truly. You two are welcome to get off of my ship now." Even though he still sounded annoyed, he was smiling, like this sort of ribbing from his brothers was normal.
Instead of heading towards the gangway, the second brother tugged Captain Tanden into a hug. "We'll miss you, little brother."
Soren suddenly realized he was watching something fairly private, and he dropped his gaze to the deck at his feet. The brothers and Captain Roland exchanged a few more pleasantries, and then they were gone. Captain Roland paused briefly to give Soren yet another hearty thump on the shoulder, and to say "Good luck, lad," and then Soren was alone with Captain Tanden. As alone as one could be on a bustling ship.
After a moment, Captain Tanden clapped his hands together, and Soren looked up. "All right," Captain Tanden said. "I can offer you the regular starting navy salary. The Wanderlust is a merchant and I intend to share the wealth whenever we make particularly good trades, so there will be occasional bonuses. The main goal, however, is to explore. Now, I really would like to disembark, so we'll fill out your paperwork later this evening. Good?"
Soren nodded, unsure of what to say. Everything the captain had just said sounded incredible.
Captain Tanden grinned. "Excellent. I hope you're interested in an adventure," he paused almost comically. "Sorry, mate, what's your name?"
Soren gave a start. "Oh, sorry, captain, Soren. My name is Soren."
"Well, Soren, mate," Captain Tanden said, "I hope you're interested in an adventure."
Soren was beginning to get the feeling that he would be interested in anything Captain Tanden suggested. He smiled tentatively. "Aye, captain. An adventure sounds nice."
***
FOUR YEARS, A MONTH AND A HALF LATER
***
"Keep up, Soren!"
Stifling a sigh, Soren slung Tanden's bag over his shoulder. "I don't see why this is my job."
Nearby, the First Mate, a Crelan named Vosh, chuckled as he looked over one of the ship's various ledgers. "'Cause you put up with it, mate."
Soren picked up his cutlass next, and while slipping it under his belt, he walked over to eye the ledger. "He's a Tandran. Course I put up with it. Any of that extra money comin' my way?"
Vosh closed the ledged with a heavy thud. "Put up with it 'cause he's a Tandran? Is that what you tell yourself?"
Soren was about to reply, when Tanden poked his head back into the captain's quarters. "Soren, mate, what's the hold up?"
Whatever he was going to say to Vosh died in his throat. Try as he might, Soren just couldn't quite convince himself that he put up with Tanden's antics simply because he was a Tandran. There was way more to Tanden than that. The past four years had made that abundantly clear.
Tanden was twenty-three, still relatively young compared to most navy captains, and younger than his entire crew except for Soren. But age never seemed to matter with him. He captained the Wanderlust with confidence and endless charm. He was generous with the ship's money and time off, but he could be stern when situations called for it. Everyone on the ship admired and respected him.
But Soren had, for the past few years, been struggling with the realization that his admiration for Tanden was slightly different. Because while the others applauded Tanden announcing time off from his usual perch on the bulwark, Soren found himself admiring the way the wind caught Tanden's blond hair—now longer and braided in a very nice Morcean style. While the others talked about how smart Tanden was, Soren found himself trying to decode Tanden's fancy words and roundabout sentences. While the others joked about being exhausted with Tanden's constant need to move, Soren found himself raring to keep up.
It wasn't just friendship, Soren knew that. He just wasn't sure what to call it. Wasn't sure if it made any sense. If it was even right to feel the way he felt.
Regardless of whether it was right or wrong, he was going to indulge in Tanden's proximity as long as the lord let him. So he finished cinching his belt and said, finally replying to Tanden, "If you gave me a bit of a head's up next time, you wouldn't have to wait for me to get ready."
In the doorway, Tanden grinned. He had shed his nautical jacket, and almost looked like a regular young man in dark pants and a billowy white tunic. The two rings on his right hand gave away his wealth and true status, if people cared to look closely enough to recognize them.
"Soren, mate, if I gave you a head's up, I wouldn't be nearly as exciting to be around. Vosh, we might be out late. You'll have to postpone your leave until tomorrow evening."
"Not a problem, Cap'n," Vosh replied. "Now go on. Enjoy your evening."
"Oh, we will," Tanden said. He waved for Soren to follow, and led the way across the deck. They climbed down the gangway and walked out into a busy port.
It was one of their regular stops, a Deoran city called Hoask. They had even picked up a few crewmembers from Hoask in the past. Tanden preferred it to the capital city. Soren suspected it was because it was easier to go unnoticed in Hoask. A big West Draulin Navy ship in the capital city would draw attention, and as much as Tanden seemed to thrive with attention, he also seemed to not want it.
While they walked, Tanden pointed out various things he found interesting, which was nearly everything. Soren would never not be amazed with just how much Tanden knew about the different cities they visited. Even if he had heard it all before, it was still fascinating just to see how excited Tanden was about sharing his knowledge.
They finally came to a stop at a narrow, tidy building just outside of the port. Tanden strolled in without a care, as he always did, and Soren followed just a bit more tentatively. The first floor was one large room, with a counter at one end, a large fireplace at the other, and a handful of crowded tables. Soren assumed that the staircase in the back led to bedrooms.
Tanden, somehow, managed to find an empty table near the windows. Soren sat across from him after a moment of struggling to get his cutlass out of the way. That was probably one of the reasons Tanden refused to carry one around himself—they got in the way constantly.
"Well," Tanden said, once Soren had stopped fiddling with the sword. "What do you want to eat? We'll have wine."
"Wine?" Soren had tried wine once or twice. Usually when he drank with the other sailors he had cheaper drinks, ale, rum or beer. Never wine. "What's the occasion?"
Tanden laughed. "Your birthday, mate. Nineteen, aye?"
That caught Soren off guard and he shook his head. "No. Are you sure?"
"I imagine I look at calendars more often than you do," Tanden said. "So yes, mate, I'm sure. What do you want to eat? Anything you'd like. I'm paying."
"Oh." Soren paused, thinking of all the Deoran food he had tried over the past four years. Like his usual choice for drinks, he tended to eat cheap food. But Tanden would know better, and if he was paying, it only made sense to try something fancier. "I don't know. Whatever you think is best."
Tanden shrugged. "All right." He waved to get the attention of one of the serving girls, and when she came over, spoke in what sounded to Soren like flawless Deoran. He and the young woman spoke back and forth for a moment. Soren understood none of it, but he could sense Tanden's usual charm in every word. When the women left, she was laughing and smiling. Tanden turned back to Soren. "Like I said, nineteen. I wish I had a present for you, but dinner will have to do."
Soren, still a little dazzled by Tanden's fluency, took a moment to reply. "I didn't expect a present. I appreciate this, though," he added quickly, not wanting to sound ungrateful.
"Friends give each other birthday presents," Tanden said. "At least, Teltans do. Don't Crelans?" He sounded genuinely curious.
"Oh, yes," Soren said. It was so rare that Tanden didn't know something, and Soren always found these moments quite fun. "But that's more of a Teltish tradition that we've adopted, I think. Usually, the way we celebrate a birthday is with some sort of favour or service."
"A favour like buying dinner?" Tanden asked.
"Actually, yes," Soren said. "Hold on. You knew that, didn't you?"
"Not really. Sort of." Tanden paused to thank the waitress, who had returned with two glasses and a tall bottle of dark wine. He filled both glasses and passed one to Soren. "I remembered Vosh mentioning something along those lines years ago, but I wasn't sure."
Soren accepted the glass and took a sip. Then another. It tasted unusual. "What is this?"
"Wine," Tanden said. "Deoran wine is pretty distinct from our wine. I actually might like it better."
Soren nodded, taking another sip. "It's good," he agreed.
Tanden leaned back comfortably in his chair, wineglass casually held with two fingers. "Well, I'm glad you didn't know it's your birthday. Means I didn't interrupt any plans you might have had with the lads."
Soren laughed. "I didn't have plans. The lads are great, but..." he trailed off, unsure of what exactly he was trying to say. He was friends with plenty of the other crewmembers, but he would have never chosen to spend time with them instead of Tanden.
He was spared having to finish the thought when the serving girl returned with a huge plate, piled high with chopped and sauced vegetables, meats and beans. A second girl added a second plate, with a stack of steaming bread. The steam alone made Soren's mouth water, but he waited to touch the food until after Tanden had thanked the women and they had walked away.
Tanden picked up one of the thin pieces of bread, tore some off, and used it to scoop up some of the vegetable and meat mixture. "It's nothing fancy," he said. "But I figured you would like it."
Soren put his wine aside and copied Tanden. From the first bite, he knew he loved it. The meat was juicy, the vegetables tender, and the beans soaked up the perfect amount of savoury flavour from the sauce. Even the bread was delicious, speckled with various herbs Soren couldn't name.
They didn't speak as they finished the entire plate. Soren used the last bit of bread to wipe up what was left of the sauce, then leaned back in his chair, pleasantly full.
Tanden was watching him, sipping from his wineglass. "So, it's your birthday. What would you like to do next? I'll pay, of course."
Soren poured himself more wine. "I don't know." He didn't have any plans, of course, and coming up with something on the spot was difficult. "Um, is there something you'd like to see in the city, maybe? A temple?"
Tanden chuckled. "It's not my birthday, mate. It's supposed to be about you." He drank more wine, and his gaze wandered across the room. "That second serving girl said you're very handsome. Maybe I could rent you a room upstairs?"
Soren nearly choked on his mouthful of wine. He coughed, struggling to regain his composure. "What?"
Tanden didn't seem phased. "What? You don't want to spend your whole birthday evening with your captain, do you? Don't worry about me. I'm fairly certain that young man by the fireplace has been eyeing me this whole time."
Soren felt his eyes go wide. Too many thoughts were fighting for dominance in his head, but all that came out was, "You want to... take that man upstairs... to bed?"
Tanden looked at him, cocking an eyebrow. "Why not? Don't look surprised. I might not announce my preferences to the world, but I'm not exactly subtle about them, either. Vosh's known for ages."
Soren blinked. Suddenly, one of the thoughts in his head beat out the others. One, single thought. A thought born of years of confusing feelings. And he spoke, before he could give the rest of his thoughts a chance to get up and fight back.
"Maybe... you could take... me upstairs?"
Tanden's attractive grin slipped into place. "That certainly took you long enough, didn't it?"
Soren's nerves temporarily gave way to annoyance. "What?"
"What?" Tanden poured the rest of his wine into his mouth and set down the glass. "Soren! You've been ogling me for two years, and you've been handsome for three. Do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to wait and be a gentleman?"
Soren was no stranger to Tanden confusing him, but this was confusing in an entirely different way. "Wait?"
"Yes, wait, because whatever else I call myself I am Lord Tanden of West Draulin, and people do things for lords whether they want to or not. And I didn't want you to feel even slightly backed into a corner like that. So I've been waiting for you to realize all on your own. Give me the bag so I can pay for everything." He started to stand, but hesitated. "You did mean it, right? You want to go upstairs?"
Soren felt like his feelings had just been tossed around in a hurricane, but with that question the situation became real again. Tanden was being serious. This was going to happen. Soren tried to rein in his excitement. "Aye. Yes."
Tanden chuckled. "Aye, yes?" He took the bag from Soren's shoulder and walked towards the counter, calling over his shoulder. "Wait there."
Everything seemed to move very quickly for awhile. Tanden paid for the food and a room, came back to collect Soren, and herded him upstairs. Soren's thoughts and feelings kept rolling around and shifting, but the most dominant feeling was giddy anticipation. This was going to happen. With Tanden, of all people.
Time slowed down the instant the door to their little bedroom closed behind Soren. He watched as Tanden tossed his bag to the ground beside the door and lit a few candles. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. Hovering by the door seemed the safest option.
"I'm going to assume this is a first for you," Tanden said.
Some silly, prideful part of Soren wanted to deny it, but he opted for honestly instead. "Aye. I mean... I've kissed people before."
"Men?"
"A few times," Soren admitted. "Mostly women, though."
Tanden came closer, and Soren's heart skipped a beat as Tanden's hands found his belt. "There's nothing wrong with liking both, you know. I certainly do." He finished with Soren's belt buckle, and took it off. Soren didn't understand what he was doing until Tanden hung the belt, cutlass and all, off of the door handle.
Then Tanden caught his hand. "Soren, I said it downstairs, but I'm going to say it again and you have to listen. My title doesn't mean anything here. If you want me to do something differently, tell me. If you don't like something, tell me. I will take charge, but this is for you as much as it is for me. Don't hide anything from me. Understand?"
Soren understood, but suddenly something else occurred to him. Something he had somehow managed to forget in the rush. "I understand, Tanden, but... you're my captain."
Tanden shook his head. "Not tonight, I'm not. This has nothing to do with your job. Understand? We're not going to do this if you aren't honest with me."
Tanden was using the sort of stern tone he usually saved for giving orders on the ship. It was very effective. Soren nodded. "I understand."
For a moment, Tanden didn't move. He stared at Soren thoughtfully. It lasted long enough that Soren began to worry that Tanden had changed his mind. Then, just as Soren was about to brave voicing those thoughts, Tanden stepped closer and kissed him.
The kiss was like nothing Soren had ever experienced. The other kisses had been quick and shy, or sloppy while a bit drunk. Tanden kissed like he was claiming ownership. He could claim his title didn't matter in the bedroom all he wanted, but everything about Tanden emanated control.
Without even pausing their kissing, Tanden walked backwards across the room, tugging Soren along with him. Only when they reached the bed did Tanden step back, just to nudge Soren onto it.
Soren sat, watching Tanden in a bit of a daze as Tanden reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of oil. The sight of it snapped Soren out of his daze. "You prepared for this."
Tanden shrugged. "Better to be prepared than risk ruining a perfect night."
"A per—" Soren's voice disappeared as Tanden pulled his billowy tunic over his head. It wasn't the first time Soren had seen him without a shirt, but context made it feel brand new. Tentatively, without really thinking about it, he reached out to brush his fingers against Tanden's skin.
Tanden caught his hand with a laugh. "Can't contain yourself, mate?"
Soren looked up, meeting his gaze. "Tanden, I..."
"I know." Tanden gently cupped Soren's chin with his other hand, and held him in place for another kiss. "It's been a long wait for both of us. Now." Playfully, he tapped his fingers against Soren's lips. "Why don't you take all of this off and let me get a look at your gorgeous tattoo."
Soren pulled his tunic over his head in a rush and threw it aside. His tattoo stretched across his shoulders. He wanted to get more done, running down his arms in the traditional style, but he had to visit Crele for that.
He had to force himself not to move as Tanden traced a finger along the swirling lines, leaving a pleasant tingling feeling along behind it. "Beautiful," Tanden said quietly.
He seemed distracted enough that Soren deemed it acceptable to touch him. He reached out, and carefully rested his right hand on Tanden's hip just above his pants. When Tanden didn't react, Soren slowly slid his hand up higher.
Tanden, all the while tracing Soren's tattoo with one finger, grabbed Soren's hand. "Wait. Look at me."
Soren tore his gaze away from Tanden's chest to look up. Tanden ran his free hand into Soren's hair, leaned down and kissed him again. Soren wanted to reach up and hold him, but his right hand was caught and he didn't know what to do with his left.
This time, when Tanden broke the kiss, he was smiling mischievously. "How's this for a birthday favour, mate?"
Soren didn't bother replying. He pulled his right hand from Tanden's grasp, wrapped both arms around him, and pulled Tanden onto the bed.