Happy (early) birthday to the amazing reactiontolife! She's super awesome, everyone go and read her stories, she's an incredible writer!
WARNING: Talking about death and grief, ghosts
"Rose! Rose, get down right now!" Logan glanced up from his work at the call. Patton strode past his window, yelling. "Rose, you're going to rip your dress!"
"Oh Lord..." Logan sighed and put his pen down. He glanced at the photo on his desk. Miranda grinned back at him, laughing at some joke lost in time. "What's our girl gotten into this time, I wonder."
"Rose!" Patton received a stick on his head. "Ow, hey!"
Rose laughed and scrambled higher in the tree. "Your Highness, get down here right now!" Patton ordered.
"Or what?" Rose called, leaning out of the tree dangerously.
"Or..." Patton hesitated, thinking. "Or I'll tell your father."
Rose's mouth fell open in offended shock. "You wouldn't dare," she said.
"Oh really?" Patton pushed up his sleeves. "Try me."
"Alright, alright, I'm coming down." Rose started down the tree. "See, nothing to worry about," she said. As she spoke, her foot slipped and she fell. Patton jumped and rushed forwards. Rose landed in his arms, the weight of the 5-year-old nearly toppling Patton in the process.
Patton set her down gently. "You're getting too old for that, Princess," he scolded. "Are you hurt?"
Rose shook her head. "I'm fine!" She said, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, you worry as much as father."
"Is everything alright?" Patton jumped again and whirled around.
Logan was stood, just out of the shade of the tree, hands clasped in front of him. His face was halfway between worried and curious and no matter what, it made Patton's heart melt every time.
"Uhm, your Majesty!" Patton pushed his glasses up his nose and gave a small bow. "No, everything's fine. Rose was just being a little... energetic, that's all." Logan visibly relaxed.
"Papa, I was all the way up in the tree!" Rose explained, running over to Logan. He laughed and picked her up. Rose shrieked excitedly, laughing too.
"Were you causing trouble for Patton again, hm?" He asked. Rose shook her head, grinning.
"No. I was just climbing!" She protested. "Patton was just worrying so much."
"Hm..." Logan smiled, shaking his head. "Little rascal. Aren't you meant to be in lessons?"
"I was trying to teach her to draw, your Majesty," Patton said. "But she ran off when my back was turned. We were out here, drawing the wisteria when she left."
"Snitch," Rose said. "You promised you wouldn't tell."
"You can't lie to the king, Rose," Logan said. "It's a crime."
"So is breaking the trust of the princess," Rose said primly. Logan set her down and crouched down next to her.
"Promise me you'll continue with your lessons?" He asked. "It's very important if you're going to rule next."
Rose sighed. "Fine," she said. Logan held out his little finger.
"Promise?" He asked. Rose sighed again but pinkie promised.
"Fine, I promise, I promise!" She said. Logan smiled at her before standing up. He was still smiling when he glanced at Patton and Patton felt his heart drop into his stomach.
"I don't think she'll be of any more trouble, Patton," he said. "Thank you for putting up with her."
"It's just my job, sire." Patton stammered. "Besides, it's not difficult or anything."
"At least, it shouldn't be." Logan glanced down at Rose with a mock-glare. Rose giggled and ran back to Patton's side.
"I'll be good, I promise, Papa!" She said.
"Hm, alright." Logan gave her a grin. "Anyway, I'd better get back to my work." He gave Patton a slight nod. "Thank you, again."
"It's really no problem-" Patton started to say but Logan turned and left. He sighed a little, trying not to make his disappointment too obvious.
"You like him, don't you?" Rose asked slyly.
"What?" Patton stared down at the girl, his mouth open. "I- I don't know what you're talking about."
"You like him," Rose repeated. "You like my Papa."
"Princess, I have no idea what you're talking about," Patton insisted.
"Are you going to marry my papa?" Rose asked casually. Patton nearly choked on air. "He wouldn't mind it, you know. He likes you too."
"Rose, you are incorrigible," Patton said. "Now, come on. We need to get back to lessons."
He likes you too. That was ridiculous. Logan was married. Had been married. And Miranda still meant so much to him.
To think that he could even... No, it was too ridiculous to even think of.
Logan shut the door to his office and sat down at his desk.
"Right..." He picked up his pen and followed his sentence down to the end, trying to pick up his train of thought. It was rather difficult, seeing as his thoughts were now punctured with images of a certain tutor.
It was so rare for Logan to actually see Patton. He barely had time out of the day to see Rose and, when he did find time, Patton always melted respectfully into the background, sometimes even leaving the room. Sometimes, Logan wished Patton had a little less respect for authority.
It was all so strange. He'd only ever felt this way about one other person and, well...
Logan glanced at the photo of Miranda again. He shook his head and looked back at his work.
It was all so conflicting! He still loved Miranda, of course he did. Every day, he missed her. He missed her and her laugh and her smile and her touch and the way she talked. He missed everything. But Patton...
Patton was different. Something about the way Patton made him feel was different. It burned more. Burned his heart and the heat spread up to his head, his mind, until he couldn't think a proper thought around the servant.
It was terrifying. Terrifying how strong the burning was. No matter how much he tried to push it down, to squash it, it always came back. Sometimes when he couldn't sleep, sometimes just when he caught a glimpse of bright blue - Patton's favourite colour. Sometimes he'd hear something or see something and every thought in his head would turn to Rose's tutor.
It was terrifying but also... intoxicating. And that was what scared Logan the most. The fact that, sometimes, he didn't want the burning to stop. He wanted it to continue until it consumed him. Maybe then he'd finally be strong enough to talk to Patton. Properly talk to him. And maybe...
Logan didn't know. He put his pen down and looked at Miranda's photo. He leaned his head in his hand.
"What's going on with me?" He asked her. "What am I doing?"
Sometime, a long time ago, Miranda would've laughed and given him a simple yet obvious answer. "You're in love," she might've said. "You're in love and you're being stupid about it, like always."
But now wasn't a long time ago and the photo of Miranda just laughed at a joke folded tightly in memories of the past.
"Princess? Princess Rose?" Patton called. He pushed open the door to the portrait gallery. To his surprise - and relief - Rose was sat on the floor, her blue skirts spread out around her. She was gazing intently at a portrait. Patton glanced up and-
Miranda. Of course. Rose had never known her mother.
Patton crept over to the princess and sat on a chair beside her. He looked up at the painting, saying nothing.
The portrait really was a very good rendition. Miranda's bright red hair was tied back in that same hap-hazard ponytail and plait she always insisted tying it back in and although it was very clear she'd been positioned for the painting, something about her looked relaxed and natural. Miranda had always been frustratingly photogenic. Her smile was more subdued from what it normally was but there was something about her eyes. Something mischievous, something like lightning. It made Patton understand something about why the king of the realm had fallen for a simple peasant girl.
"What was she like?" Rose asked. "Mama?"
Patton sighed. It didn't hurt to dredge up old memories - not anymore - but it was still an effort. "Your mother was... brave." That was all he ever said. It was all he could say without his heart breaking a little more.
"You always tell me that!" Rose jumped up. "Tell me more!" She insisted.
"Your Highness, I wouldn't even know where to start-"
"How did you know her?" Rose asked. She sat back down, now gazing at Patton rather than the painting. She was expecting a story. Patton wasn't sure he could deliver.
But he was damned if he wasn't going to try.
"Your mother was one of my closest friends.," he said, looking back up at the portrait. "I was the son of the local school's headmaster and she was one of the naughtiest pupils. We couldn't've been more different but we were thick as thieves. Often, I'd run her detentions and she'd run right out. I never stopped her. I never told."
"Did you like her?" Rose asked.
"Only as a friend," Patton said. "She was practically my family." He smiled at the painting. "Everyone said she'd never amount to anything. She said, 'screw that' and got a job in the castle the moment she graduated. I took over my father's school. It's where I got my love of teaching."
Patton took a breath. "We stayed as close as she could. But she never told me she was courting your father. And I never knew they were engaged until one day, Miranda comes running up to me in this fancy dress, holding out her hand. And on it's a sparkling gold engagement ring, set with a diamond and a promise."
Rose pointed at the painting. It was so large you could see the ring, sparkling as if it were real, on Miranda's painted finger. Patton nodded.
"That's the one. Miranda insisted I come and teach kids at the castle. There were so many children of servants who couldn't read or write. So, my brother Emile took over the village school and I moved up to the castle." He smiled fondly at the memory. "It was brilliant."
"Until?" Rose knew the story well enough to know there was no happy ending. Patton took another breath and this one shuddered slightly.
"Until your mother got sick. She was pregnant with you and there were... complications. She didn't give up, though, not on you, not on your father, not on herself. Throughout her last days, she was still a wild fire." Patton swallowed back the tears that pricked his eyes. "I've always admired her for that."
Rose crawled over and sat in between Patton's feet, a hand on either shoe. "What was she like?" She asked in wonder.
"A lot like you," Patton admitted. "Kind-hearted and adventurous and disregarding of rules. She was always looking for a new way of doing things. She loved the outdoors, especially flowers. Wisteria, lilies, lavender, roses, all the sweet-smelling ones. She had a fire in her heart and dream in that fire. And she never let it go."
"You really think I'm all that?" Rose asked. Patton nodded.
"Absolutely," he said. "But you're also smart and logical and diplomatic, just like your father. You debate until the topic's run dry. And you always want to do what's right. You'll make a brilliant leader."
Rose raised her arms up to Patton, making grabby hands. Patton chuckled and pulled her up onto his lap. "This good, your Highness?"
"Mhm!" Rose grinned. She yawned and snuggled into Patton's side. "Will I really make a good leader?" She asked, her voice laced with sleep.
"Definitely," Patton said. "But right now, I think you need a nap."
"Mmm..." Rose was too tired to argue. "When I grow up, I'm gonna make nap time illegal."
"Sure you are, princess," Patton said quietly. "Come on, let's get you to bed."
Rose didn't reply. She'd fallen asleep on Patton's lap.
Patton closed the door to Rose's room gently. He turned around and nearly walked right into Logan. He jumped back into the door.
"Your Majesty!" He could already feel his face grow hot. Dammit...
He bowed quickly. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."
"It's alright, Patton," Logan said, a shy smile on his face. It only made Patton blush more. "I shouldn't have crept up like that. I apologise." He looked past Patton, almost like he was trying to see through the door. "Is Rose alright?"
"She's alright, don't worry, sire," Patton assured. "Just having a nap. She was in the portrait gallery when I found her."
"Was she there all night?"
Patton shrugged. "I couldn't say, sire. I'm sorry." He made another, small bow and turned to leave.
"Patton? If you could just wait a moment..."
Patton paused and turned back to Logan. "Is everything alright, your Majesty?"
"Please, call me Logan," Logan said, waving his casually. He seemed different. On edge. He laughed under his breath and rubbed the side of his nose, jogging his glasses. "It sounds too formal, you calling me 'your Majesty' and everything."
Patton dropped his gaze to his shoes. "It's just the correct way to address you, that's all." It felt wrong to say Logan's name, even if he did whisper it to himself sometimes like it was a magic spell.
"You always do things correctly, don't you?" From anyone else, it would've been a jab or an insult. Maybe it was just the fact that Logan couldn't force his tone to be anything worse than stern. But now he didn't sound stern. He sounded almost... soft. Like he was really trying for something more gentle.
"Yep, that's me." Patton tried to laugh. "Always doing things by the book."
"Sometimes I wish you were a little less correct." Although Logan muttered it, it seemed like Patton had heard it on purpose. He glanced up at Logan and saw his eyes widen.
"I'm sorry, that was..." Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, laughing at himself. "That was... That was ridiculous."
Patton laughed quietly. "A little," he admitted. Despite being a king, Logan always managed to be endearingly awkward.
"Yes, um," Logan cut himself off with another laugh, "what I'm trying to say is that..." He sighed. "I'm glad you're so close with Rose. And you were always so close with Miranda. I just... I suppose I wish we could be closer. In a way." He met Patton's gaze, mouth still hanging open from what he'd said. "I- I apologise, I'm being ridiculous-"
"It's alright," Patton said, his voice almost a whisper. "I don't mind."
Logan looked down at the floor and cleared his throat. He took a step back. Patton blinked. He hadn't realised Logan had been getting closer.
"Are you alright, your-" Patton hesitated, "Logan?"
Logan looked at Patton in shock. He didn't look angry, though. "Yes," he said after a long pause of just looking. "Yes, I'm fine. I just need to... clear my head, I suppose."
Patton nodded his head and took a step away. "I'll leave you to do that." He turned to go again but hesitated. "If you find the time, Rose would love to spend some time with you. She really misses you." He bowed and left.
Patton didn't really know where he was going but he knew where he'd end up. He always ended up there.
He bent down and grabbed a handful of Sweet Williams, making sure to not grab too many. He didn't want to anger the gardener again. Virgil was scary.
The castle faced East-wards so it always saw the sunrise. Miranda had always loved the sunset better. Patton bet that, if he could, Logan would've turned the entire castle around to face the West so Miranda could see the sunset every night.
But, he hadn't been able to. So, instead, when she'd been buried, she was buried with her gravestone facing West so she could watch the sunset, even in death.
After her death, when the wound was still fresh, Patton would sit by her grave for hours. He would sit and do nothing. Sometimes he would cry. Most of the time he was numb to it all.
Only later, when it started to heal, did he realise how big of a gap she'd left in his life. Then, he'd gone to her stone and cried. He would cry and cry and cry until he felt like he'd never cry again.
Now, he just brought her flowers. Sometimes he'd talk to her. Patton liked to believe Miranda could hear him, that she was laughing at his silly jokes and problems from wherever she was now.
"Hey." Patton set the flowers down beside the stone. He sat down. "How've the sunsets been?" He always started with that question. He sighed and leaned against the wall of the castle.
"Can I talk to you about something? It's kind of important." He pushed his glasses up his nose and leaned his head back against the wall. "It's about Logan."
The wind whistled through the trees, blowing their leaves and making them chatter. Patton swallowed.
"Miranda, can I be honest?" He asked. "I'm worried. I'm really worried. And it's all confusing because I'm not sure what I'm worried about." He laughed. He felt like he was going to cry again.
"I mean, I'm worried about everything. I'm worried about Rose and whether I've taught her well enough. Who she'll grow up to be. And I know that nothing can ever fill the void a lost parent brings but I'm really trying to be there for her. I don't think I'm doing enough but I don't know how to do more. I can't do more without breaking any rules. She's not my daughter and she never will be. She's yours and I can't ever take her away from you but sometimes... I don't know."
Patton sighed and let out a small broken laugh. "And then there's Logan. Logan. You know, he's told me to call him that. Just now. Not 'your Majesty' or 'sire' but Logan." He sighed and his whole face softened. "He's what I'm really confused about, Miranda. And, you know what, if I'm being honest, I'm jealous. I'm so damn jealous of you because you got to him first!"
Patton laughed again and leaned his head back against the wall. He scrubbed his hands over his eyes and felt tears start to trickle down his cheeks. He sniffed and wiped his eyes furiously.
"He said it himself, sometimes he wishes I was a little less correct. I- What does that mean? You always understood him, what does that mean?!" Patton stared at the tombstone, hoping it would answer.
Nothing.
Patton let out a half-sob, half-laugh again and felt more tears run down his cheeks. "If I had just been a little less correct. If I'd joined up at the castle with you. If... If I'd met Logan before you maybe... I don't know 'maybe' but I do know he's still in love with you. And he's your husband and nothing's ever going to change that, not even death, but..." Patton trailed off and let out a frustrated groan. "But I don't know! And I'm worried. I'm really damn worried. Because, Miranda, I think I'm falling in love with your husband but I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to hurt Rose. Poor kid's been through enough already. But I think I love him and I don't know what to do!"
Patton hugged his knees to his chest and bent his head forwards. He started crying in earnest, not even bothering to stop his tears flowing. He hadn't cried like this at Miranda's grave for years. He hadn't cried like this for years.
Very slowly, Patton felt the tears stop. He hiccupped a few times and lifted his head. He looked at the gravestone.
"You always had the best answers." He said in a quiet, broken voice. "What should I do?"
"You okay, Patton?"
Patton looked up at Rose. She'd set her pencil down on her pad and was staring at him with wide, curious eyes. Patton tried for a smile.
"I'm fine, your Highness. Why do you ask?"
"You seem sad, that's all." Rose blinked at him before picking her pencil back up and looking down at her pad. She blew a breath up through her fringe in frustration. "I don't get it!"
"Don't get what?"
"These sums!" Rose pouted.
"Well, we can look through them together, can't we?" Patton asked. He scooted closer to Rose and looked over her shoulder. "Right... which one are you having trouble with?"
"All of them!"
Patton laughed. "Alright. Then, let's start from the beginning. Seven take three. What's that?"
"I don't know!" Rose said. "That's why I'm having trouble!"
"Okay, okay." Patton held up his hands. "Let's start with the finger method. So, you hold up seven fingers," he put three fingers down so seven of his fingers were up, "and subtract three. Go on."
Rose reached down and pulled down three more of his fingers. Patton smiled. "Great. How many is that."
Rose counted along carefully. "One, two, three, four... Four!" She yelled triumphantly and scribbled it down.
"That's it, well done, princess." Patton felt touched by her triumph. She was so excited when she got something right.
Logan looked up from his work at the yell of 'four'. He felt a smile cross his face as his eyes fell upon Rose and her tutor.
His smile faded and he looked back at his papers. God, he was such an idiot. What he had done with Patton was completely reckless and utterly stupid.
Even just thinking about what he'd said made him physically cringe. Yes, he'd wanted to actually hold a conversation with Patton - and he'd gotten what he'd wanted - but he had hoped it would've been at least an even slightly intelligent one.
And to think about what he'd nearly done... He was a married man, for God's sakes. And a king! He couldn't... go around kissing servants, no matter how infatuated he thought he was with them.
"You really are an idiot," he muttered.
"Yeah, you are." Logan jumped so violently he nearly fell out of his chair. A laugh he knew painfully well made him jump up and whip round.
Miranda was stood by his still-closed office door. Logan blanched white and fell back against his desk.
"You're not here," he said shakily. Miranda laughed.
"You'd think, huh?" She laughed again. "Turns out I kinda am."
Logan shook his head slowly and rubbed his eyes. "I'm losing my mind. Is this because I haven't been getting enough sleep?"
Miranda pointed at him. "No but you really should, love. You haven't looked this bad since we met."
Definitely Miranda. Or some version of her. Logan laughed under his breath. "Thanks." He shook his head again. "How are you here? You've been dead for..."
"Five years, I know." Miranda moved closer and her feet didn't touch the floor. She floated over. "It's been a long time for me too. But, every dead soul is allowed to return to the mortal world once. And you're being such an idiot that I've used up my turn for this." She crossed her arms. "You'd better be thankful."
Logan laughed a little and stood up off his desk shakily. Even when she was floating, he was still slightly taller than her. "So, what are you? A ghost?"
Miranda shrugged. "I dunno." She checked her hands. "Guess so." She shrugged again. "But this isn't about me. I'm fine, Logan, really. I'm happy and I love my life. Or... death. I don't know, it's all confusing but what I'm here to talk to you about is him." She pointed out the window and Logan turned to look.
"Patton?" Logan asked.
"He cares about you, love," Miranda said gently. "So much. He came and told me all about it yesterday. I think his exact words were 'I think I'm falling in love with your husband'. But, love, you're not my husband anymore."
"What?" Logan whipped around. "What?! No, I am! It's not like I don't love you anymore, I-"
"I know, love, but that's not what I'm saying." Miranda laid a hand on his shoulder and it was freezing cold and feather light. Logan could barely feel it. "The vows said 'til death do we part'. Death has come for me."
Logan dropped his gaze. "Did it hurt?" He asked childishly.
"Yes." Miranda admitted. "But it passed. Logan, everything passes when death comes to call. But love doesn't." She turned him around. "Come on, what do you feel about Patton? I promise I won't mind."
"I..." Logan took a breath and glanced out of the window. Rose must've said something funny because Patton was laughing. He always looked lovely when he laughed. "It feels like burning. All over. It's almost painful sometimes but I hardly ever want it to stop. I can't really ever stop thinking about him. I... I think..."
"You think you love him?" Miranda asked.
Logan took a breath. "Yes," he said guiltily, dropping his eyes from the window. He turned back to Miranda. "What should I do?"
Miranda smiled. "Logan, you're such an idiot," she said fondly. Logan laughed quietly. "Do what you did with me! Write him a note, confess to him! I love you and I care so much about Patton and you two care so much about each other. Do something about it, before it's too late."
"It took all my courage to ask you to marry me," Logan admitted. He glanced at Miranda shyly. "What if I can't do it this time?"
"I know you can," Miranda said. "If you can write whole, long papers on how to fix hunger and poverty without getting bored, you can do anything." She smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. It felt like nothing more but a cool breeze. "I believe in you."
Logan blinked and she was gone. He raised a hand to touch where she'd kissed him but it had already faded back to his body temperature.
"Patton, I'm bored," Rose whined. "Can I go play?"
"Have you finished your maths?"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh!" Rose held up her pad of paper quickly. "See? Can I go play?"
Patton sighed. "Alright." Rose jumped up with a noise of excitement and ran off. "But don't go too far! And don't get your new dress wet!" Patton yelled after her.
Someone behind Patton cleared their throat. Patton jumped up and pivoted around.
"Oh, um, your Majesty." Patton bowed quickly and straightened his coat. "I was just, um, Rose had finished all her sums for today and she wanted to play and, um, I thought what's the harm and, uh-" Patton cut himself off when he saw Logan was holding out a piece of paper.
"It's a note," Logan said awkwardly. "For you."
"Oh!" Patton felt himself blush. "Um..." He took the note and started to open it.
"Please don't open it now!" Logan said quickly. He clapped a hand over his mouth and attempted to calm himself down. "Please wait until I've left, I might combust if you read it in front of me. I, um, I don't really want to see your reaction." His eyes widened. "Not that there's anything wrong with the way you react to things, it's just that, um, yes, so, uh..." Logan sighed and straightened his waistcoat. "I just have work to do. Apologies."
"It's no problem." Patton said, confused. What had gotten Logan so jumpy? It was kind of cute but was he okay?
"Yes, right. Um," Logan seemed to search for something else to say, "bye." And he turned and left, very obviously mentally cursing himself.
Patton watched him walk out of sight before practically tearing the letter open.
Dear Patton,
God, this feels so awkward. You probably think it's awkward too, don't you? I've probably made a right fool of myself trying to give you this note. Don't worry, I'm fine, just flustered, that's all.
A lot has happened to me this afternoon and I am, honestly, very shaken. But, I know one thing and that is that I'm in love with you.
Patton stumbled backwards. He had to sit down on a bench or his knees were probably going to give way.
I know, I know, it's sudden and stupid of me to say but if I don't write it down now, I know I'm going to back out. You can very easily not say words but you can't not write a confession. Does that make any sense? It probably doesn't but anyway...
Like I said, a lot has happened to me this afternoon and I can't possibly explain it all now. But I want to explain it to you. And I want to talk to you. Properly. Not in the awkward way I have been that makes it look like I've just learnt how to talk.
Please, if you would, meet me under the wisteria tonight, after Rose is in bed. I'll be waiting. And, please, stop calling me 'your Majesty'.
Logan
That... was such a long one shot and so. Freaking. Random. I don't know what I was on when I wrote this but it was something strong.
I loved it. Did I do good, Vi?
Bye,
Blaize