"What's there to talk about?"
Her mouth went dry. "I...just don't want things to be weird between us. I want to be friends. You know that. I think the fact that you kissed me mixes that up some."
"You kissed me back," he pointed out helpfully.
"Yes." She swallowed. "So, where does that leave us?"
"Oh," he said, his tone suddenly curdling. "I...well, what do you think?"
"I'm the one asking."
"Fucking hell," he said, but there was truly no conviction behind it. "You're really not going to let this go, are you?"
She blushed a fiery red.
"Look," he said, finally looking up at her and sighing. Y/N instinctually flinched. The tired way he was regarding her made her worry. "I think you're..."
"You think I'm..."
"I think you're nice."
"You think I'm nice?"
"For someone who wants to talk, you're being rather stifling to the flow of the conversation," said Draco. Her mouth clamped shut, but she still glared daggers at him. "I don't have anything against you, I mean."
"Are you rejecting me?"
"I was drunk," he began carefully. Y/N was fighting back the embarrassment-induced nausea. "And I do things that I don't really mean when I'm drunk. It was wrong of me to come into your room with you, to lie on your bed. It's just that I spend all of my time with you, you know, and I don't really have anyone else here who understands...everything about my situation."
"So what you're saying is that I could've been anyone?" Her voice grew shrill.
"It was a temporary lapse in judgment," he finished, seemingly set on avoiding every single one of her answers. "I'm sorry. I didn't consider the impacts of my actions at the time."
"The impacts of your actions?"
"Yes, that is what I said," clipped Draco. "Are you intent on making this discussion as hostile as possible or something? You asked for it."
Y/N didn't know what she'd been hoping to hear. After his little speech on how "pure" his blood was, she supposed she couldn't be hurt. But he had seemed so genuine the night before.
She must've been silent for too long, as Draco spoke up again. "Surely you understand that we come from different worlds. I'm not right for you. You're not right for me either. We're never going to be able to understand each other. It's just not...this isn't correct."
"I was never proposing that we get married or something," she retorted.
"What were you proposing, then?"
"I just didn't realize how deeply your disdain ran for me. I wasn't proposing anything, really. I just wanted to know where your head was." She swallowed. "And now I know. I appreciate you sharing that with me."
Draco opened his mouth, then closed it. He was examining her face with an intensity that unnerved her. "It's not disdain."
"Trepidation, incompatibility, concern, misunderstanding, confusion, lack of attraction, however you want to put it, it's fine. I get it. I apologize for grilling you so hard on this."
He didn't appear to have a response to that. Y/N tried her best to not show the hurt on her face. "Well, then. I think we've quite finished with that. Shall we talk about something else?"
"Please." Draco visibly relaxed. "Do you happen to have time later this week to take me down into the city to look at the shop? We should try and get a start on finding the box."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
He shrugged. "Not for you. You'll just drop me off."
"And leave you for dead?"
"Of course not. I know how to protect myself. Don't be so overdramatic."
She scowled at him. "Ok. Fine. Whatever."
"So sullen today," he drawled.
She shuffled her feet on the ground. She hated it when he teased her in that voice of his. "Anyway, we need to start studying. Finals week is getting close. Sylvia and I normally host little study sessions together. Do you want to come? She's having one at her house this week now that the snow's clearing up."
"I think I'll be alright," he said.
"That's okay," said Y/N, lying through her teeth. She knew, deep down, that Draco never had any interest in joining her for anything if it wasn't necessary, but it always stung to be reminded of it.
~
School started up again, and Y/N once again was caught up in the flurry of prepping for final papers and studying formula sheets. Her work was a welcome distraction from the disaster that was her feelings for Draco Malfoy. He seemed entirely set on pretending like the events on New Year's Eve never transpired. His words still echoed around in her head: "I think you're...nice." It had to have been the most embarrassing rejection to date. It was so painfully obvious. Of course he didn't like her like that. Of course, of course, of course. He was never interested in her, he was just lonely, isolated, and given an opportunity to act out on his most impulsive desires.
He'd told her that she could hate him that night, so she tried. She tried so hard to wipe her mind of anything even slightly positive towards him, but it was too hard. There was really no one quite like Draco.
Y/N was deep in a particularly self-pitying train of thought as she dragged herself down the hallway of Sylvia's house to the bathroom when she saw him.
"Y/N, right?" The voice was male, deep, and warm.
She jolted, staring up at the figure that had just entered the hallway with her. He was tall. His hair was dark, almost black, and it looked wavy. "Um, yeah."
"I'm Simon," he said, but he didn't need to. Y/N knew him. Well, she knew OF him. He'd always been off at boarding school when she came around Sylvia's, but "twin brother Simon" had been a term used in the past.
"Hi," she said, berating herself for not having anything clever or snappy to say in response.
Simon leaned up against the wall, smirking down at her. Y/N felt her heart begin to do cartwheels in her chest. "Sylvia always talks about you. It's good to finally meet you."
"She–she does?"
"Congratulations on UChicago," he said offhandedly.
"Oh, well, it was really noth–"
"Don't be so modest," he tutted, his dark eyes twinkling. Something in his demeanor made the situation seem to progress from a simple polite conversation to...something else. "That's quite an accomplishment. Especially if you had to apply while housing a Malfoy."
She blanched. "You know..."
"I know you know, yes," he said, dimples appearing in his cheeks. He looked pleasantly amused, and the way he was looking over her made her body heat up. "I personally thought you should've been told from the start. If I'd been back from my fellowship earlier, I would've done it myself. Vy and I had a little tussle about that. She wouldn't speak to me for weeks."
"Believe me, I wish I had too." She smiled up at him, letting her back rest against the wall of the hallway opposite to him. "For both of our sakes, honestly."
Simon laughed. It was a warm chuckle that made her feel at ease immediately. "Well, I should probably disappear before she comes back and berates me for talking to her friends."
"Does she not like you or something?"
"No," he said, suddenly looking rather solemn. "It's not that. I just think she doesn't want me to accidentally slip up. I don't spend much time around muggles anymore, you see, now that I've spent all my formative years at Ilvermorny."
Ilvermorny. Y/N liked the way it sounded. "Is that why you're so glad to see me? A muggle that you can finally talk to without watching your tongue?"
He shrugged, but his smile remained.
"I'm flattered."
"Likewise," he said, elaborating at the sight of confusion in her features. "I'm touched. The famous Y/N Y/L/N is giving me the time of day."
"Sylvia does not talk about me that much," responded Y/N in a scolding tone.
"She says enough," offered Simon. "And so does Draco."
"Did you two get along? When he stayed with you?"
He paused. "Eh. I thought we were going to. He's a tad cold."
"And here I was, thinking it was just me."
Simon laughed again, and she was treated with a flash of straight white teeth. "Neither of them told me you'd be so funny."
"It's probably because neither of them find me very funny."
"Simon," said an exasperated voice from behind them, "What did I say about talking to my friends?"
"Vy," he greeted. "I'm well aware. But she's not just a friend now, is she?"
Sylvia rolled her eyes as she appeared in Y/N's line of sight, grabbing her twin's arm and pulling them apart. "Leave the poor girl alone. She has enough broody wizards bogging her down."
"At least this one's nice," joked Y/N. Simon met her eyes long enough to wink, and Sylvia just exhaled loudly.
"Say your goodbyes. I'm confining you to the second floor until our studying is through."
"Bye, Y/N," Simon said over his shoulder as he ascended the steps. "See you around." Before Sylvia let his arm go, he leaned down and whispered something in her ear that was unintelligible to Y/N from her spot in the hall. Whatever it was, Sylvia didn't seem to particularly enjoy it, smacking his arm and shoving him up the stairs.
"I'm so sorry about that." Sylvia returned, a slight redness in her cheeks. "I told him to leave my friends alone. Was he bothering you?"
"Why are you so embarrassed of your brother?"
"He just isn't very intuitive with what's normal muggle lingo and what isn't," she explained as they walked down the hallway of plush maroon carpet. "And he certainly was laying it on thick with you. Did it bug you? Should I smack him next time I see him?"
"No, Vy, you can calm down," responded Y/N, a nervous chuckle leaving her lips. "It was fine. Nice, actually. I didn't realize just how much I wanted to talk to someone else about magic and Draco."
"You can talk to me."
"I know...but..."
"Oh, my god," said Sylvia, realization dawning on her. "You liked it. You like him."
Y/N held her hands up in surrender. "I barely know him. He's just...charming, I suppose."
"He's a complete manwhore at school. Of course he's charming. He has witches throwing themselves at him left right and center."
"I can see why."
"Don't talk about him like that in front of me," said Sylvia harshly, apparently ending that conversation there. The rest of their study session went largely uninterrupted. They drank coffee and ate the scones that her mother had made as they reviewed worksheets and checked over each other's calculations. Y/N had largely forgotten about the whole ordeal when Sylvia pulled her aside as she was leaving.
"Look," said Sylvia, "I don't normally do this, or condone this, but I suppose it would be beneficial for you to be able to talk to another wizard about this sort of thing..."
"You don't normally do what?"
"Simon told me that he wanted your number," she finished. "Would you like me to give it to him?"
Her eyes shot open, wide. "Um, yeah. I guess I'm fine with that." She hoped that she was appearing very cool and collected and calm over this whole ordeal, but she had a sneaking suspicion that she was in fact not.
"Cool," said Sylvia, nodding aimlessly and toying with her fingers. "Cool. Sorry. This is just weird, I guess. If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go throw up now."
~
"And you're sure you're reading the directions correctly?"
"I'm fucking sure, Draco. I can read. I have an A in AP Lit, I'll have you know."
"You know I wouldn't understand the implications of that."
Y/N scowled at him from the driver's seat as they circled around the streets of Cincinnati, searching for the old antique shop. "I just don't understand. I thought it was easy to find. My parents saw it while they were driving. We've found it twice before. I'm not sure what's going on."
"Well," began Draco, in that telling lecturing tone of his, "It's probably because of the magical interference. I'm sure that your parents were able to see it after whatever was going on with that magically inflicted snow storm earlier. There's probably still repelling wards set in place that are stronger now that muggles are actually on the streets again."
"I suppose that makes sense," she replied. It was funny, really, how willing Draco was to talk about the magical world. Now that she'd taken the vow, it seemed like he never shut up about the intricacies of magical interference or magical customs or how the muggle world was infinitely more bizarre in comparison. "I bet we might need to walk. I just realized we've never driven straight up to it. We've always found it by foot."
Draco was quiet for a few moments. "I don't know the city well enough to navigate it."
"So I'll go with you."
"No, you won't."
"Either I come with you or I turn this car around right now. Or we drive in circles until we drive each other mad."
"Fucking fine." Draco let out a dramatic sigh. "But you can't go anywhere near it, okay? It's not safe."
"I turned out fine last time," she offered, only partly joking. Draco rolled his eyes in response.
They parked on a familiar block that Y/N knew to be a reasonable walking distance away from the antique store and began their trek. They were walking closer than they needed to, she noticed. Her shoulder lightly touched his and they walked in stride, their hands occasionally brushing. Neither of them acknowledged it.
While they walked, Y/N allowed her mind to wander. Simon had texted her the night after the study session and they'd been talking essentially non-stop since. He was just as charismatic and charming over text as he was in person. He was attentive, remembered all the details about her that she wanted him to, and complimented her on her intelligence. It was all something she was supposed to want. But she wasn't excited about it, for some reason. It felt...wrong. Maybe it was because he just wasn't Draco. Y/N stole a glance at her walking partner to find him already looking back, immediately wrenching his gaze away when their eyes met.
"I think we should just make one more right turn and then it'll be in front of us," she said, mostly to explain why she'd stared at him. It wasn't as if she'd been offering directions throughout the entire voyage.
Sure enough, the antique shop was there, the abandoned strip mall as eerie as ever.
"Where's all the graffiti that my Dad mentioned?"
Draco studied the scene before them. The windows of the antique shop had been boarded up, but apart from that, it looked entirely fine. "It's probably an effect brought on by the wards. It's charmed to look unappealing to muggles."
"So why can I see it?"
"Same reason why I can't obliviate you using a cube designed for muggles," he said. "When I pulled you out of that weird dream sequence of yours, I must've left a magical signature on you or something. That's what the Ministry said, at least."
"Oh."
"You stay outside," he said firmly. She waited a few beats before following him in, wrenching open the door.
"What did I say, Y/N?" Draco snapped as he spun around to glare at her.
She held her hands up. "Sorry, sorry."
He studied her for a few more moments before frowning and sighing. "I suppose I could use you. You're the one who saw the box, after all."
They began to search through the rubble. Draco forbade her to touch anything, so she sat on one of the empty tables and pointed. It was a dim, dusty store that had clearly been abandoned for some time. Y/N couldn't help but wonder if the owners had known what had happened with her and the box. Why else would they have closed?
"Is it this?" He held up a light brown box, no markings on the exterior and its condition rather new.
"No," she said. "Like I said, it's black. And it has a weird spiral mark on it."
"Merlin's Mark."
"How was I supposed to know that?"
"Forgive me for being cordial and offering further elaboration." Draco scowled at her over the stack of miscellaneous items.
"I'll think about it."
If it had not been before, it soon became very clear that there was no lead. He stood up, brushing his hands off and looking rather gray.
"Are you okay?" she asked him as he opened the door for her.
He shrugged, opening his mouth to answer when someone else spoke first.
"Y/N? Imagine seeing you here!"
She spun to see Simon and Sylvia meandering down the street. dressed warmly in scarves and long black cloaks that seemed to float across the ground. Simon's face split into a grin when their eyes met. "Oh. Hi Simon!"
"No 'hi' for me?" prodded Sylvia gently.
"Hi, Vy," Y/N added. The twins stopped in front of them a few feet away. Simon towered over everyone but Draco, who she could tell without looking was staring daggers at Simon.
"Grimauldi," Draco greeted smoothly, but Y/N could hear the tension in his tone.
"It's lovely to see you too, Malfoy," returned Simon, never sacrificing the dimples in his cheeks for a stonier face. "What brings you out here?"
"Just antiquing," said Draco, too casually. "Though it seems that this place is closed."
Simon tilted his head. He was still smiling, but there was something a little too calculated about it, like he was sizing him up. "Is that so? I'm surprised you would take Y/N here after everything that happened."
"I insisted," said Y/N, jumping in. "I have to drive him everywhere anyway, and he was getting sick of hearing me pester him about leaving me alone in the city."
"You shouldn't hang around places like this," said Simon, his smile fading into a more serious expression. "You could really get hurt, you know? Vy over here feels awful about letting you into the store the first time around."
Sylvia nodded gravely. Draco stood, his jaw clenched.
"I tried to keep her away," was all he said.
"Clearly not hard enough." Simon sent a rather petty look his way before beaming at Y/N again, dragging his eyes up and down her scarlet coat-clad form. Once he was done appraising her, he spoke again. "You look really nice in red."
"Um...thanks." Her cheeks grew hot at the compliment.
"It was great seeing you," said Draco, before grabbing her hand and pulling her away. "We should be going. Goodbye."
"Bye!" Y/N echoed as she struggled to keep up with his fast pace. Once they were out of earshot, she turned to frown at him. "That was kind of rude, Draco, to just grab me away like that."
He was still holding her hand, and once her fingers flexed in his grip, he seemed to realize this and drop it. "They weren't exactly the definition of chivalry and manners either, were they?"
"Sylvia's my friend!"
"Is Simon too, then?"
"He's been nothing but nice to me," Y/N said, her tone bordering on defensive.
Draco was furious. She'd never seen him that mad. It clearly went past mild irritation or frustration. His lips were fixed into a tight scowl, his jaw tight, and his eyes dark. "Is he now?"
'He's been perfectly civil." Y/N frowned.
He scoffed, shaking his head. "Sure he is."
"Well what's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I think you're being extraordinarily dim right now," said Draco. He met her eyes, and something flashed across his face. Something that looked like regret. "Even for a muggle."
White hot anger coursed through her. The slap rang out before she realized she'd done it. Her palm stung from the impact, and Draco just stared at her, his rage temporarily forgotten and replaced with shock in his eyes.
"Fuck you," she seethed. "You don't get to speak to me like that. Ever. I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to get it together. If there's something about Simon that I don't know about, then tell me that. Don't act all high and mighty and blame it on the fact that I wasn't born to a magical family when you don't even know your multiplication tables. Fuck."
They were silent on the ride home.
~
"So you hit him?" Sylvia clutched at her the mug in front of her the next day as they ignored the group work they'd been assigned on French romanticism.
"Do you think I should apologize?" Y/N rolled a pencil between her fingers, feeling the ridges press into her skin. Her hand still tingled with the memory of the impact she felt of her hand on his skin.
"Honestly, no," said Sylvia. "What he said was really fucked up. I can't say I'm exactly surprised, though. When you first told me that Malfoy was staying with you, I was really worried. This is the type of shit his family is known for saying. I'm more taken aback by how long he waited to show his true colors."
"I don't really know if it's his true colors," said Y/N, softly.
"What makes you think that?"
Y/N met Sylvia's eyes, her heart pounding. "He kissed me. Or, well, I did, I guess. On New Year's."
Sylvia set her mug down with a pronounced bonk. "I fucking knew it. I knew I was picking up on something."
"Vy!"
"I'm sorry," said Sylvia, though she did not look sorry in the slightest. "I just need to bask in the glory of this for a bit. God, I was right."
"Well, not to burst your bubble or anything, but I don't really think he sees me as anything," said Y/N. Bitterness crept into the edges of her voice. "We talked about it the morning after. He seemed to really regret it. He implied that I could've been anyone."
Her friend frowned, tapping her pen on her notebook as she thought. "There's gotta be a reason as to why he's doing this. Just let me think."
"Knock yourself out."
Y/N busied herself with the group work, which happened to pass much quicker than she was expecting despite the fact that her partner was off in another world, deep in her thoughts.
"I got it," she said suddenly, 10 minutes after she had originally gone silent.
"Blow me away."
"I know I wasn't imagining anything," began Sylvia, sitting up straighter. "He just looks at you differently. He treats you differently. I know he likes you. It was so obvious when I saw you two downtown."
"Doubtfu–"
"Just let me finish," cut in Sylvia, waving Y/N off. "Just think about how he was raised, Y/N. He was raised to be afraid of people like you. He's probably just scared. He doesn't know how to deal with it, so he's pushing you away to make you not like him anymore. Plus, Simon is probably a trigger for him. Seeing someone else, especially another wizard, flirt with you must really frustrate him. Like, he must not know any wizards who date muggles. That's his only hold up with you. But to watch Simon not care about that? I think it must make him feel weak, knowing that he's the problem."
"How very complicated of him," drawled Y/N, in a tone that was eerily reminiscent of Draco.
"He likes you," repeated Sylvia. "He really does. I can tell. I'm normally not wrong about these sorts of things."
And she normally wasn't. Y/N felt a pit deepen in her stomach as she felt another vibration come from her phone—it had been vibrating for the past few minutes. When she slid it out to discreetly check without the teacher noticing, she saw that almost all of them were from Simon.
hey you, i have a proposition
so as you know it's vy's bday in a few weeks
well, mine too, but that's not the point
since i'm finally around for it, i want to throw a surprise party for her
do you think you could help?
i was thinking that maybe you could invite her over to your house to study and then we could set it up there
i don't want to put you in a position where you feel obligated to host so plz dont feel bad if the answer is no
Smiling, Y/N tapped her response back.
~
"Draco?"
He looked up from his work at the kitchen table, not bothering to verbally acknowledge her. It had been over a day since they'd last spoken. Draco's face was blank.
"I just wanted to, um," she began, fidgeting and pressing on her nailbeds, "I wanted to say that I'm sorry for slapping you. I don't think I've ever done that to anyone before. What you said just hit a sensitive spot for me. I'm still a bit angry at you for implying that I'm inherently intellectually inferior, but I should've just called you a bitch or something."
"Not nearly as effective, though," he offered after gazing at her for a few moments. He didn't look angry. If anything, he looked rather conflicted. "I suppose I deserved it. If you'd like to slap me again in retribution for taking so long to apologize, you may."
"I'm not a sadist."
"You have a weak arm," he told her matter-of-factly. "If it helps you sleep at night, it hurt more when you hit me with your locker door."
"I keep telling you, that was an accident. You were standing in the way."
"You ARE a sadist, then," he said, though his tone was light. "You're smiling at just the thought."
And she was. She wasn't sure when the corners of her lips had started to turn up, but she was so relieved that they were speaking like normal again that she couldn't help it. "Shut up."
He was about to say something else when the doorbell rang.
"Stay right there, I'll get it," said Y/N. He shyly smiled back at her.
"Hi!" exclaimed Y/N upon wrenching open the door. "What are you doing here?"
Simon stood on her doorstep, carrying all sorts of decorations in his arms. "For Vy's party. I didn't want you to feel like you had to get everything yourself."
"Thanks," she said, and she meant it. She beamed up at him, and he glowed back. Upon making up with Draco, she felt like she could run a mile and not break a sweat.
Simon seemed to misinterpret this enthusiasm to mean that she was that thrilled to see him. Upon settling the party decorations on the porch, he swept towards her. She didn't even have a chance to process his movement before he brushed her hair away from her neck and pressed a kiss into her neck. His mouth was cold. She jolted away.
"Bye," he said, sending her a smirk before bounding down her steps and out of sight.
"That's a new development," drawled Draco's voice behind her.