PROJECT PEN SEASON ONE
STAGE ONE
PART I
BLIND IMPRESSION STAGE✨
WELCOME to the very first stage of Project Pen, 2022 called the BLIND IMPRESSION STAGE!🎉 {Cues in crazy applause, a standing ovation, and deranged screaming!!!}
Okay, okay, okay, let's tone it down a bit so we can hear the MC 👀; I get it that our excitement (and nervousness) knows no bounds right now, and just like you, we are more than excited to bring to you, the very first stage of the very first edition of PROJECT PEN!
Please note, that all we get to see today is the collective reviews from the Judges. The fate of the contestants will not be decided until Next Week.
Two Contestants will be evicted.
Now, before we go ahead, here is the list of our Batch A Project Pen wonderful Contestants, in order of their Serial Numbers;
001 Ayinkus
002 Ohhveeohh
003 YourCrypticGrey
004. JagunJagun
005 A.b. Cleo
006 Lucifer's Baby
007 DD Marx
008 S.A Writer
009 The Purple Writer
010 Fiyinfoluwa
011 Akira_16
013 Orianna
014 Pam
There you have it!
Now, without much further Ado, let the show begin!🎉🎉
Introducing our very first Contestant in the Project Pen house. Ladies and Gentlemen, let us give it up for.......
Drum roll🥁
AYINKUS 001
SENTENCE PROMPT: SHE GAVE THE BEST HUGS
TITLE: Hugging Death
"Ife, Ifechukwu, mmh I don't support this," Ayo stated for the fourth time, a mixture of anger and worry swirling through her as she stared at her daughter buckling her black sandals.
"Mama, Mama try and be calming down," Ife responded, straightening from her crouched position. Turning to her side, she grabbed her Jean jacket from the bed and slipped her arm into it.
"Calming down? Calming down ke?!" She screamed, her voice resounding through the small green room."Ifechukwu, Look at your condition for christ's sake."
At her mother's words, She gazed down at her well-rounded tummy peaking through her pink gown then shrugged.
Her 'Condition' as her mother so put it, was a pregnancy that had given her issues for the past seven months, but she wasn't going to let it stop her.
Smiling, Ife stood up from the bed till she was looking down into her mother's brown eyes. At fifty-two, Ayobami obiajulu was still as vibrant and vociferous as she has been when she first married. Only the faint crinkled skin around her eyes and few wisps of white hair indicated that she had indeed lived half a century."Mama, I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm weak. I can find my way home myself. After all, I came here to visit you today, didn't I?"
"That one is different. Your husband dropped you off, why can't you just wait for him to come and pick you up?"She pleaded, trying to make her child see reason. She felt heavy with gloom as she stared at her youthful face.
With soft hands, she cupped her mother's cheeks and began softly, " Chike won't be back from work till 8, and it's already 5. I have things to do mama."
Still, Ayo stared at her, worry etched all over her features. Exhaling deeply, Ife wrapped her hands around her mother, resting her head in the crook of her neck. She knew her mother's weakness was a hug. Just one could pull down her barriers and dissolve her worries.
Reveling in the warmth of her daughter's hug, Ayo rubbed Ifechukwu's back slowly, enjoying the way her gentle hold soothed her."Stay safe, okay?"
Withdrawing from the hug, Ife held her shoulders, her heart squeezed at the weak smile on her mother's face."I will."
Satisfied she had pacified her, Ife picked up her sling purse and walked out of the room, her mother trailing behind her.
The squabble of the television welcomed them both back into the sitting room. Her dad was asleep on the black sofa, the remote dangling in his hand. Her younger brother, Jideofor, was on TikTok videoing the sitting room.
"So here's our quality black drapes from Dubai covering two large windows, A Persian rug from, well, Persia covering the marble tiles in the middle of the sitting room, and a-"
"jideofor!" Her mother snapped beside her, the single name dyed with so much venom that Jide froze as if stung."Are you mad? Drop that phone now!"
Hastily, he switched off his phone. Expecting the worst, he lowered his head to avoid eye contact with his mother and clasped his phone tightly behind his back.
"What is wrong with you? You want everybody to see the house? ehn? I don't blame you." She said, disdainfully, her eyes moving behind him to his father asleep on the chair. "I don't blame you at all."
Snickering, Ife walked towards her brother, and swung an arm over his shoulder." Mama, let it be. It's just the sitting room. Besides," she added, rubbing his head."He's seventeen. He's old enough to know what is right."
Scowling, her mother looked between the two of them and shook her head. No point with these two. Even with eight years of difference between them, they stood up for each other.
Suddenly, a thought flashed through her mind. Hiding her smile, she spoke, "Ehen, Ife you can be going. Bye-bye."
Shocked at the sudden change of mood in their mother, Ife and Jide stared. The bright glow of the fluorescent light overhead didn't match the glow in her eyes. They knew that glow, she had planned something.
Against her will, Ifechukwu released her brother and walked towards the brown oak door, glancing over her shoulders at intervals to see her mother waving. Warily, she pulled open the door, smiling when a fresh gust of air hit her face, pressing the linen gown she had worn to her lap.
Throwing one last glance over their shoulder, she waved and then shut the door. Out of memory, she weaved her way through the fleet of cars and plants and walked out of the compound, her sandals slapping against the cobblestoned floor.
The sky was ablaze with the setting sun, creating vague shadows from the dappled sun that shone through the trees lining the side of the street.
The sounds of boots crunching dry leaves reached her ears and Ifechukwu froze. Glancing at her side, she saw the looming shadow of a figure next to her. Breathing frantically, she turned.
No one was there.
Clutching her bag, she hastened her steps, grateful their house was two blocks away from the estate gate. Immediately after she reached the gate, she signaled the security men by crying out."Help! I think someone is following me."
Two hefty men dressed in a blue security uniform, jumped out of their small yellow building instantly alert. Suddenly, they halted, looked behind her then began laughing."It's just your brother ma'am."
"Jideofor?" Ife asked voice laced with confusion as she whirled around." Is something wrong with you? Do you know you scared me?!" she snapped, the moment her eyes met his.
"I'm sorry. Mama said I should follow you. I didn't..."
Seeing Jide sad, Ife's heart softened. In a few strides, she got to his front and pulled him close, cuddling him." It's okay. I've kuku reached the gate, Just help me and stop Keke."
On the road, they both moved towards the Junction and watched as bikes zoom passed, flailing stones towards them. A Keke passed but it was filled.
"Let's cross, we might see at that side." Jide declared, already moving to cross the busy road.
As Ife made to move, a dizzy spell overcame her and she wavered on her feet. Jide didn't notice. She was glad. Her brother didn't know she was a sickler. She wanted to keep it that way.
A loud horn tore into her thoughts but she ignored it.
Jideofor didn't. Twisting his neck towards the noise, his eyes widened in fear as a trailer neared."Ife, move!"
"What?" She mumbled, slowly turning her head to her right.
It was too late!
In the twinkle of an eye, her body got flung up into the air, arms flailing, then pummeled to the ground. A loud crack filled the deafening silence as blood splattered across the road.
Fragments of statements and cacophonies swarmed Jide's ears, his vision was hazy with tears as he dropped to the ground, knees digging into stone.
Laying Spreadeagled, eyes wide, her pink dress soaked crimson, with blood trickling down her forehead, Ifechukwu looked like she was embracing death.
The End.
Host: Whoosh! That was a gripping one! Now, let's see if our Judges agree with us on that.
{N/B; The Judges have decided to remain anonymous, so we shall address them with colours}
Now, let's give it up for our very own...
JUDGES REVIEWS!✨
Judge Purple
Wow, all I can say is wow! I felt the emotions. It was so raw, you did an awesome job. Although there was something which didn't sit well with me, Ife being a sickler and her brother not having an idea, I don't think it's possible. There is no way such could be kept hidden. In spite of that, you did justice to the storyline.
Judge Blue✨;
The book touched my heart, like I didn't expect her death. It just hit me like gbam! Plus, I love the description, just like I was in the story.
Judge Orange✨;
I have a few to say, so stick around to the end of it.
First off, beautiful language. I love it! I have to commend the writer because they clearly know their way with words; the descriptions are top notch, and they know how to coin the language of their work to look pretty, descriptive, and impressive. The character execution was on point; I was able to get a clear vivid summary of all the personalities of the characters through the remarkable ways that the writer showed, without particularly telling. Impressive. These are things I love to see in a literary work. It is clear that this writer is very experienced and knows what they are doing.
However, a few things did not sit right with me. First off, I had to reread the piece twice to understand how it correlated with the title and the concept of the sentence prose. May I say, (before I continue on my observation), that when I understood what the writer was trying to do, I was beyond
impressed immensely by how creative it was. It was something I could not have possibly seen coming, and I love that. I love the creativity! The concept of death being personified as a woman, and "she" - as in, death-giving the best hugs is brilliant.
However, I didn't fancy the build up much.
Especially to the accident scene.
It was unfortunate because this was the peak of the story. The climax. The gbas gbos. The plot twist, and it did not hit me as hard as it was supposed to.
The writer has a great way with their descriptions, but towards the scene of the accident, I felt it was more like a story was being narrated, that I was there to feel/ experience it happen. One thing I love about reading a work is the writer's ability to make me feel like I am inside the work, feeling everything that's going on, but the writer failed to give me that impact there, hence, the weight or effect the accident should have had on me was watered down.
Instead of telling me "It was too late", I would have preferred to see her, diving right into the accident before she even realised that it had happened. For example, it could have started with the part where she felt herself flying into the air, arms spread out etc, before it hits us that she was knocked down by the car, and that was why that was happening. I don't know if I am being understood. Something to keep us shocked. Something abrupt. Unexpected. Hit us in the face, and don't show mercy while at it. Sho get?
Secondly, the title of the Work sort of gives the concept away too easily. I understand that it goes perfectly with the plot, but it makes me have an idea of the entire story before I read it. I am not saying that your title should have nothing to do with the plot, but it should not give it away that easily too. Be sly; that's key. With storylines that have these kinds of plot twists, execution and build up matters a great deal. In this case, the execution and build up was good, but it could have been better. The writer is very creative. Kudos for a brilliant, descriptive, and artistic work!
Judge Pink✨;
Your work is really nice. You describe well too, but there are times your grammar doesn't sit well with me and I felt it shouldn't be have been used and I will point out just one of them.
"It's okay, I've kuku reached the gate, just help me and stop Keke."
I get it's a Nigerian Themed book but it could have been written better but I love your book overall.
Judge White✨;
This is a pretty good interpretation of the sentence prompt you were given, but the interpretation came at the end which means the execution was a little too late. You waited till the end to actually convey the message which wasn't enough, but you did well with other parts like punctuations and grammar. Those were definitely on point. You portrayed the emotions very well and the descriptions were pretty apt. Good job there.
A little correction in the sixth paragraph; second line,
What you wrote:
"At fifty-two, Ayobami obiajulu was still as vibrant and vociferous as she has been when she first married."
It wasn't well constructed. Instead, you should have written like this:
"At fifty-two, Ayobami obiajulu _was still as_ vibrant and vociferous as she _was_ _when_ she first married."
or
"At fifty-two, Ayobami obiajulu _was still as_ vibrant and vociferous as she _has been since_ she first married."
Do you understand?
Judge Silver✨;
The description was good and even though the story wasn't linear, it was also nice.
But,
At first, I thought you didn't get the prompt until I saw the title. This just shows that you didn't execute your story well. It didn't go with the title nor with the prompt too.
Judge Black✨
This story was really good. It was we written too and emotions were conveyed but unfortunately, I feel like there were a lot of unnecessary things in the story like Ife being a sickler (and her own brother not knowing? Is that even possible?). And most importantly, I don't feel the prompt given in this story.
Well, Good luck to you, Ayinkus, judgement is looking fair enough!
Now, moving onto our next contestant...
OHHVEEOHH OO2
SENTENCE PROMPT: SHE GAVE THE BEST HUGS
In the north, terror rained.
The remnant of burnt bushes whispered the demise of green pastures. The sun was locked in a nightmare beneath disheartened clouds, but God's light came through and over the mountains.
Rather than joy, there was mourning in the day.
And through the deserted, spooky one-way road drove a bus with the engine's sound the only thing heard. Tragedy flew past the shut windows of the bus as it drove farther into the rural community that had been raided by Boko Haram.
Grief knocked on the doors of the bus and without usherance, it barrelled into the hearts of the nuns and avalanched them.
None uttered a word, but they all were by their thoughts and mustard seed-faith.
Perhaps, it would have been for the best had a soft tune been playing, but for the loss of lives, they prayed silently yet repetitively for the souls lost that they be accepted by the Creator of the universe.
Zillah felt a light tap on her elbow. Having been transferred to another realm, she was catapulted back to reality by the sense of feeling. Then did she turn aside.
“Is it a sin if I admit that I'm afraid?”
Noella’s eyes were wide and swirling in a pool of horror. The usual greyness had dimmed by reason of her fear and her lips were quivering.
Zillah placed a reassuring hand on Noellas’ that still rested on her elbow. “Oh ye of little faith yet honest. Pray the Lord to strengthen you.”
Noella's panic heightened. “I wish I never offered to follow you,” she sat back properly in her seat. “I wish I had stayed back. Now, what if we get killed while trying to save others in this useless missionary journey?”
Zillah hushed her with immediate effect. “You must ask for forgiveness, Noella. Remember, we labour not in vain, and the Almighty who sees our hearts will reward us for doing His will.”
“I wish I were part of the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur. I'd happily teach all my life.”
“Be careful what you wish for, Noel,” Zillah reproved her.
So far, they had been successfully conversing without the attention of the other nuns and the Mother Superior who sat right next to the driver.
Noella curled into a foetus position as she stared out the window while they sped past damaged buildings and lifeless body splattered on the ground. Her heart kept wrenching in sorrow and she shut her eyes against the scenes. For all she was worth, Zillah was her role model, and where Zillah went, she followed. She despised being away from Zillah and any other who tried to get so much as close to the latter, she chased away.
It was rather abstruse what caused her to be possessively drawn to Zillah, but it had enforced her to plead with the Mother Superior to let her embark on this journey only because Zillah had been amongst the chosen ones to go.
Conversely, she was incubating second thoughts on her impulsive decision. Being a sister of St. Casimir had quite a number of duties. Social and charitable work were part of it. Such as this — saving those who had been victims of terrorist attacks and keeping them at the convent or orphanage.
“Clear your mind and find rest for your soul, Noel.” Zillah nudged her shoulder and Noella pouted at her.
“May I lean on you, Sister?”
Zillah smiled agreeably at her. The eighteen- seater bus had two rows of four pairs of seats each for passengers. But the seats in the front were only two and separated. While Zillah and Noella were seatmates and at the back, the other two nuns sat right behind the driver. The other empty seats were reserved for those to be rescued.
Serenity seemed to have made an entrance but for a while since the bus was forcefully brought to a halt. The tyres screeched loudly against the tarred roads. The unexpected action had sent all of them bumping into what was before them.
Zillah had come in contact with the seat Infront of her. Noella was lucky enough as she had been able to save herself reflexively.
“Sorry, Sis. Does it hurt?” Noella sat upright and peered at Zillah who was rubbing her forehead with a small frown marrying her angelic face.
Zillah nodded. “I’m OK. Let's go see what made him stop like this.”
The six occupants of the bus were soon out and were all taken aback by the sight of the dark skinned boy who stood stock-still in the middle of the road. They all looked one to another, then at the boy who didn't appear a year older than five.
“Hi, what's your name?” The driver who was a mass-server asked sweetly but the boy was mute as his eyes pierced through the bus and into the distance.
“Mother Superior, may I speak with him?” Noella inquired gingerly, her hopeful eyes transfixed on the old woman dressed in an all- black habit and head-piece.
The Mother Superior sighed. “I do not reckon he may respond easily so as much as to say why he stands in the middle of nowhere.” Her aged voice let out in a croaked but fluffy manner.
“Let me try, Mother.” Zillah was already making her way to the boy without waiting for a response.
She crouched to his level and scrutinized him. He was clad in a tattered knicker and nothing more. His stomach bulged out in a sick way and his entire body was like a bag of bones. His bald head sat ruefully on his weak neck and when her eyes met his, she beheld herself in them. And a familiar sting electrified her as she could relate with his situation. She knew his pain by heart because she had once been like him. It may be vague but she could feel it greatly within her.
“Menene sunanka?” She asked for his name in their native language.
He lips downturned but he said, “Ka. . .Kabir. Sun kashe mahaifina suka dauki mama. . .wadannan sun mayar da ni maraya, Yar uwa.”
‘They killed my father and took mama. Those people made me an orphan, Sister.’
Zillah’s heart tore at his stricken fate. He was still talking about how angry and alone he felt with tears rushing profusely. She quickly held his skeletal hands when he began choking on his sobs. It was so excruciating that she didn't want to leave him comfortless, hence she embraced him. She could almost not feel his thin body, but he further tightened his hold on her and sobbed into her habit.
He wept his broken destiny into her serene hug that spoke volumes to him wordlessly. He felt a sense of intimacy with her, and he never wanted to leave her arms, not ever. It had become a promising haven, and the best. A genuine affection was wired from her to him, and it made him forget his anguish.
“Ina maka kabir. Kuma koyaushe zan kasance tare da ku,” Zillah assured him.
‘I am here for you, Kabir. And I'll always be with you.’
The End.
Host: That one was an emotional rollercoaster; Got to give it to the writer for a remarkable piece. Do the Judges agree so too?? Well, let's find out!
JUDGES REVIEW
Judge Silver ✨
I love the description and play of words. The uniqueness of the story had my heart. This was both heart-wrenching and warming at the same time. Amazing.
Judge Pink✨
Oh my goodness! I'm speechless! This is so good! I felt the emotions. I love it! I'm impressed.
Judge Gold ✨
All the right emotions and feelings and the fact that you told a very diverse and unique story. Excellent!! And I love love your first line.
Judge White✨
This story is heartfelt and beautiful. It conveyed all the emotions almost perfectly, the word play was very solid and I really liked that. I also really liked the fact that you interpreted the Hausa Language making it easy to read and feel the depth of each sentence.
Although, your paragraphing needs a little work, especially the first seven paragraphs. I understand that you want to show the depth of the sentences and wordplay, but there were paragraphs that weren't meant to stand alone. Some paragraphs were meant to be joined to each other as one. Asides all that, Good Job.
Judge Rainbow✨
I totally felt every single emotion conveyed in your work, and I also love the fact that I was able to picture the entire scene with how good your descriptions were.
Judge Black✨
I'd give it to the writer, with the way the story was going, I didn't think they'd do justice to the prompt but they did it last minute. I enjoyed the story, felt the emotions, and loved the description.
Judge Orange✨
I can say is Wow. This piece was unique, gripping, emotional, and simply, perfect. I didn't see a flaw. The prompt was executed perfectly. The build up was great. The descriptions, professional. Plot, unique. And, the character execution was precise and clear. Kudos to this writer. They are a natural. A born writer. Kudos!
YOURCRYPTICGREY 003
SENTENCE PROMPT: SHE GAVE THE BEST HUGS
Pain shot up my leg, singing through my whole body until it was the only thing that I could think about.
The activities of the day felt surreal. I still couldn't believe that I'd flopped the race. Which meant that I didn't qualify. A race that I'd trained for all through the better part of the year, beating myself up and pushing my body to the limit to make sure that I got in.
To make sure that I qualified.
And yet here I sat while the gold, silver and bronze medalists posed for the cameras.
Fuck.
It had been right there. Right fucking there in my grasp, but then it slipped out and I'd watched it go, unable to do a damn thing about it.
Today had been the day for the race I'd been training for. A race that was supposed to qualify me for the finals. I'd already been first, a few seconds away from the finish line when I'd pulled a muscle in my leg and I fell to the ground.
When I fell, I didn't just come last; I'd been disqualified from the race totally.
I didn't know how to react to loss—mainly because I'd never actually experienced severe loss. But this... I was gutted. I was reeling from the reality of the situation, struggling to find my footing.
I heard a knock on my door and I told the person to come in.
Of all the people I'd been expecting—my mom was top on that list—she was the last person I'd thought would be standing there.
Ivie.
Mom must have let her in.
She stood there staring at me, the door still open and her hands laced in front of her. She looked unsure, as if she didn't know whether to turn back around and run, or to step into the room.
Lord knew how much I wanted her to do the latter. But, God, I couldn't bear for her to see me like this. Down and so fucking miserable.
A failure.
"What are you doing here?" The words came out harsher than I intended.
Her eyes widened and I thought I saw a bit of hurt creep in.
"I..." She started, then trailed off. "I heard—saw what happened and I wanted to check up on you—"
"I'm fine." I cut her off. "You've checked up on me. You can go now."
The funniest thing about this whole conversation was that I could see how much my words hurt her. Ivie has always been one to wear her emotions on her face. No matter how hard she tried to hide them, they somehow managed to seep through the tiny cracks in her armour.
I knew that I was hurting her and I was doing it still. Because I was a damaged bastard and according to her, hurt people hurt people. I'd never agreed with her, but inside I knew she was right.
"It's okay to be angry, Christian, but you don't have to take that anger out on the nearest pers—"
"Just leave, Ivy."
Her eyes flashed at my mention of the name I'd always called her. A name I'd stopped using ever since I broke up with her.
"No."
My jaw tightened. When Ivie decided to be stubborn, she was impossible and I was not in the fucking mood for this. For her.
"Get out."
"No." She repeated again and slammed the shut behind her to punctuate her statement.
My heart beat faster in my chest as she took several steps into the room, until she was sitting by the foot of my bed, shoving her shoes off her leg.
I didn't have to look to know that they were sneakers. She hated exposing her feet.
I used the opportunity of her sitting in front of me to admire her features. Saying that I'd missed her would be downplaying it and one would call my reason for breaking up with her utterly ridiculous, but it was mine and it was reason enough.
At least it had been. I wasn't so sure anymore.
God, I missed her so much.
Her smooth fair skin, jet black hair that was almost always in a bun, her small adorable feet. And her face...
Ivie was hands down the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, as if she wasn't already perfect enough. The only imperfection she had, thank fuck, was a little scar on the underside of her elbow.
My eyes ran over every inch of skin I could take in hungrily, but the perusal stopped when she climbed onto the bed and crawled towards me. My thoughts were all over the place.
What the hell was she doing?
"What are you doing?"
Before I had time to process what was happening, she slipped her hands around me and pulled me with her until I was lying on her, my face buried in her chest.
"Hugging you." She finally replied, her chest vibrating with her words.
Despite my efforts, I found myself relaxing, softening against her and rearranging myself on her.
Another thing about Ivie?
She gave the best hugs.
There was just something about the way she hugged. Like she saw every single fucked up part of my soul—the parts I tried so hard to hide—and she accepted me that way.
Completely.
"It's okay to feel pain, Christian." She murmured, running her fingers through my hair in slow strokes that had my lids dropping halfway. "It's okay to bleed, it only shows that you're human and it's okay to fall because I'll be right here to catch you."
I really wanted to get pissed at her words, especially considering what just happened today, but for the life of me, I couldn't summon the anger.
I was a boneless heap on her body.
"It might feel like all hope is lost at the moment, but I want you to know that the sun always shines after a long rainy day." She bent and dropped a kiss on my forehead that had my heart somersaulting in my chest. "Always."
Fuck. Ivie really had to have put me under a spell because how could a hug and a few words have me feeling a million times better than I'd felt before?
How was she even here when I was always such an asshole to her?
This was exactly why I'd broken up with her in the first place. She was too good for me. But maybe I needed that good. Maybe she was the light to my dark.
I turned until I was looking up at her. "I'm so sorry, Ivy. For everything. I'm sorry that I'm such an—"
"Don't apologize." She cut me off.
I chewed on my lower lip.
I would. Maybe not now, but I would. I'd apologize and start afresh. Treat her the way she deserved to be treated.
So, instead of apologizing right now, I settled on, "Thank you."
She gave me a heartbreaking smile and that smile—and her hug stayed with me as I drifted into sleep.
Ivie really did give the best hugs.
The End.
JUDGES REVIEWS
Judge Silver✨
Simple yet captivating. I could feel and understand the character’s loss and emotions and everything going on there.
Judge White✨
You took the sentence prompt and made it your own is an very amazing way. It might seem like the usual boy/girl teen fiction or romance story but it's so special and beautiful and it made me feel everything. The way you showed how Ivie's hug made Christian feel even after all the hard guy bravado was so beautiful. Sentence Construction, Punctuations and Grammar were also on point. Good Job.
Judge Black✨
The writer really does well with characterization and conveying emotion.
JAGUNJAGUN 004
SENTENCE PROMPT: SHE GAVE THE BEST HUGS
TITLE: HEAVEN
It always ceased my breath whenever my eyes met hers. I'd stand there, right before the photo in a silver picture frame, looking at her eyes with swirls of honey, relishing in the warmth of her gaze.
She always brightened up anywhere she stepped in, like a sudden ray of sunshine on a rainy day. She could light up any dark atmosphere with her smile, pull anyone into ecstasy with the stars in her eyes.
I remember that night, three years ago, when Kofi—my best friend—had died of pneumonia. I had curled into a small ball on my bed, releasing low sobs from the ache in my chest.
I had heard her serene voice telling me in a whisper that, "It'd be okay." Despite the snot smeared across my face, she had pulled me up from my mourning into her comforting arms; stroked my back soothingly, with her chin softly resting atop my head.
Her gentle pats, silvery voice, and the softness of her heartbeat did something to calm me down, dull the ache in my chest and untie the hard knot in my stomach.
That night, I had fallen asleep in her arms. It had always been that way; If there was anything that could soothe me, then it was her warm embrace. Mama always gave the best hugs.
Even Baba had to open up his hardened heart sometimes whenever she'd wrap her arms around his torso. I noticed it a few times, how he'd try to fight those little smiles tugging at his lips but failed woefully.
The warmth of Mama's hug would engulf you in some kind of inexplicable calmness, slowly warm your chest and leave you all fuzzy inside. It almost felt like being lifted on a cloud to a place filled with rainbows and sunshine, where nothing like sadness and pain exists, just smiles and new levels of euphoria.
But we no longer had that — Baba and I. There was no longer Mama to cradle our cheeks and console us in her embrace. We no longer saw those eyes of honey and glitter. The light in our lives had dimmed, leaving us under dark clouds like those that came with thunderstorms.
Everyday, I'd wake up with useless wishes, willing Baba to burst through my door and tell me that Mama was waiting for me at the dining as usual; That I'd go there and she'd serve me her special tuwo shinkafa and vegetable.
But it never came through. I'd drag my feet out of my room and always freeze before her portrait at the hallway; find myself reminiscing those times I would come home and run straight into her awaiting arms, freely listened to her heartbeat that was like a rare mixture of sounds, reveled in the warmth that'd seep in my chest.
All I have now is a single portrait that always reminds of what I no longer have, makes me miss her more and more with each passing day.
And every morning, I'd lift my hand, let my shaky fingertips graze her cheeks in the photo. My voice always comes out as a croak when I whisper, "I miss you, Mama." With the fervent hope that she could hear me in heaven. And that one day, I'd see her again, drown in her eyes again, feel her arms around me again; and it'd be in a place where she would never leave my side for eternity — heaven.
JUDGES REVIEWS
Judge White✨
I have no words other than BEAUTIFUL!
Judge Black✨
Amazing. You'd think the narrator was talking about a lover at the start but no, it was his mother. This was touching and it did justice to the prompt.
Judge Orange✨
This piece was sweet, and went straight to my heart. I was so lost in their emotions that I even forgot I was judging, and I was simply enjoying the piece. Congratulations to the writer for perfectly evoking emotions. The descriptions were very pretty. I felt every emotion.
Judge Silver✨
Your word play is striking. The way you expressed the mother made me feel like I knew her and lost her too. Even though you didn't go deep into her physical description I could picture her lovely aura. Very impressive.
Judge Gold✨
Short, simple, straight to the point with all the right emotions. Bravo!
AB CLEO 005
SENTENCE PROMPT: SHE GAVE THE BEST HUGS
Mrs Janet Adegoke sat in her air-conditioned office going through the files for the new project they were to undergo. She flipped through another document when a knock sounded on her door.
“Come in.” She said calmly.
Her best friend and business partner, Miss Gloria Nweze, opened the door and smiled brightly.
“Hello dear.” She greeted as she stepped in.
Janet stood up with a welcoming smile and reached out to hug the one person she could ever rely on and the person she’d decided to start a textile company with.
The hug was warm and safe, the kind of hugs that Gloria gave best. They always seemed to make her feel safe and comforted, even in the most turbulent times.
“How’s work?” Gloria asked as they disentangled and sat back on the chairs.
“Getting good. Almost done with compiling the presentation needed for the meeting with the JJ Group.”
Gloria smiled brightly.
“Nice. Things with marketing are going good by the way. Luckily, the last advertisement seemed to do its job and sales have risen this past few months. Anyway, how’s Tunde, your husband, doing?”
Janet blushed and gave a small smile.
“He’s doing good. Last night he gave me a massage in the hot tub after I came back from that chaotic meeting with the sales department. Sometimes I wonder how I got so...” Janet slowed down to a stop as she noticed Gloria’s smile becoming slightly dark.
“That’s nice to hear. I’m really glad he’s treating you right.” Gloria said with her regular bright smile back as she stood up “I’ll leave you to it. Lots of work today.”
Janet shook off what she saw before, it must have been in her head.
“Thanks a lot. Good luck.” She replied and stepped closer for a parting hug. The warm and comforting embrace of Gloria was one thing she’d always loved.
“Bye.” Gloria said and left the office.
Hours later, her secretary informed her of an urgent meeting with the Chief Financial Officer of the company.
“Let him in.”
Mr Joseph Onoja came in through the door with a solemn look on his face and a bunch of files carried in the hands of his secretary that came in behind him.
“Good afternoon, Ma.” Mr Onoja greeted as he sat down. His secretary neatly placed the files on the table and walked away.
“Good afternoon, Mr Onoja. To what do I owe this pleasure?” Janet asked with a slight frown.
“I’ll go straight to the point, Ma’am.” He responded solemnly as he picked the top file, opened it and placed it in front of her.”
“Someone’s been stealing from the company.”
Shock ran through Janet’s body.
“I’m sorry, what?!”
“During the compilation of the quarterly finances that I decided to do myself this time, I found out that about sixty thousand Naira was being transferred to an offshore account every month under the disguise of payment to labourers.”
“Oh my God! Are you serious?!” Janet exclaimed in anger “Wait a minute, let me call Gloria to come to hear this.”
“I wouldn’t advise that, Ma.” Mr Onoja said calmly. Janet paused and turned to look at him confused.
“And why not?”
“I know that you might not believe me, but I took a look at the documents that authorised those transactions and they were all signed by Miss Nweze.”
Janet’s bones froze in shock and all of a sudden her tongue tasted like ash.
“Impossible. Gloria would never do such a thing. She’s shed blood and tears for this company, she’d never steal from it.”
“The evidence is right here in front of you, ma’am. I’ll be waiting in my office for your next decision.” Mr Onoja said and stood up, brushing the lapels of his suit. “I do hope you’ll make the right choice, Ma'am. For the sake of this company.” He continued, immediately leaving the office.
Janet quickly picked up the documents and went through them, the evidence of her best friend’s heavy betrayal written in black ink on pieces of paper as light as feathers. She felt tears prick her eyes. Her chest felt tight and her vocal cords seemed to seize up.
Why was this happening?
She couldn’t figure it out. Gloria had been the pillar among them. The one to stand strong and fight their battles at the foremost, but now that pillar was crumbling. Who was she to lean on now?
Tunde. That’s right, she still had Tunde.
She immediately picked up her bags and things and ran out of the office. She told her secretary to cancel all her appointments for the day and rushed to her car. As she drove home, she wondered how she’d break the news to him. The three of them had been friends since university and she was sure that the news would shake him as well.
Immediately after she got home, she threw her bag on the couch and ran upstairs to Tunde to explain the situation to him. She reached the slightly ajar bedroom door and reached to open it but froze when she heard her husband on a phone call with someone.
“Gloria, listen to me, we don’t have much time. It won’t be long before Janet finds out you’ve been embezzling. Let’s take the money we have and run to Paris.”
Janet’s heart stopped beating, she used her trembling hands to cover her mouth and prevent her from making a noise. What on earth was going on?
“Yes, I’m so glad you see where I’m coming from. You know I don’t love her. I only married her because you told me to. You’re the only one who has my heart.” Her husband continued
She’d heard enough. She quickly but quietly ran out of the house and back to her car. The pain in her heart was unimaginable and their betrayal shook her very core. Immediately she calmed down, hate and anger began to sit in her heart. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and gritted her teeth. She couldn’t let them get away with it. No matter what, they had to pay.
One year later
It was about to rain in the cemetery. The wind blew furiously and the sky was overcast. She placed the bouquet of black roses on the grave in front of her. It read:
Gloria Chiamaka Nweze
1993-2022
Beloved sister, daughter and friend.
Gloria had died during the company party celebrating a successful contract with the JJ Group. Janet had called her over to the balcony and handed her a glass of wine with cyanide in it. She’d taken one last hug from her before she'd watched her collapse and die in front of her. The police had ruled out her death as suicide.
She placed the second bouquet of black roses on the next grave. It was Tunde’s. He’d died in a fatal car accident on his way to wok after his brakes refused to work. At least she’d been kind enough to let them be together even in death.
She walked out of the cemetery and let out a heavy sigh. Gloria’s death had been such a shame, she gave the best hugs after all.
The End.
JUDGES REVIEWS
Judge Black✨
I honestly liked the plot. The way the writer executed the prompt was uncanny and the story was overall interesting
Judge Silver✨
Okay at first I thought you had veered away from the prompt but you seemed to grab it back at the end. I liked the little twist too. But there was nothing that pulled me into the story.
The dialogues were not just it. It felt like an info dump than two best friends talking. ‘How is Tunde, your husband?’ adding ‘your husband in that sentence was definitely not needed, you could have found a more indirect way to chip it in. That statement and a few more were just not it,
Judge White✨
The execution of the prompt was very poor, unfortunately. It also seemed far-fetched because I don't get the concept surrounding the hug between Gloria and Janet. It was as if you just shoved the sentence prompt "She gives the best hug" back in the course of writing without actually showing it. You kept emphasizing on the sentence prompt without really bringing it to life. You also didn't describe to the fullest and you were mostly telling, no showing. Plus, there were a few Punctuation errors here and there.
Judge Purple✨
The writer didn't execute the plot properly,
Judge Rainbow✨
Interesting storyline.
LUCIFER'S BABY 006
SENTENCE PROMPT: SHE GAVE THE BEST HUGS
Monday 14th March 2016.
Glover Road,Ikoyi,Lagos.
08:00am
Otega, Oghene Tega
Otega Oghene Tega
Oghene miye ruwe Oghene Tega
Wejiro Oghene,Oghene Tega.
She Sang to herself as she tapped a beat on the Lexus Convertible as she drove towards her son's school,her son sat in the backseat,head phones in his ears and his face buried in his Tablet and she felt pulled to reminisce on the circumstances surrounding the day he was born.
She lay still on the bed as she sang quietly to herself, willing her body to quieten and ignore the wiggling weird sensation as the doctors cut her stomach open to bring out her bundle of joy,
She would name him Zemaye after her dear beloved friend,Halimiye Zemaye Toristeju who the metaphorical cold hands of death had claimed the night before, hands locked as they lay side by side in a ward, whispering words of encouragement to her, despite the fact that Zemaye's child was 3 months overdue and lay in an awkward position, despite the fact that 'Elderly Primate' was inscribed on her antenatal card by the nurse with features so narrow in a way that made her face looked pinch making her wonder whether God hade created her perhaps on a Saturday night with less than sufficient skin.
She wondered if the nurse knew that her favorite patient was dead, Toju, as the nurse had called her, died from bleeding, the baby did not survive, the nurse said in a voice so mechanical,in a tone so flat that even the word 'no' had more tone than what she said. As she lay on the table now,she wondered how many times the nurse said those words that resonated with death, perhaps every week or every day. For a fleeting moment,she wondered if the nurse would be the one to announce her death to her her husband and her mother who she was sure were wearing the floors with frantic pacing, if there was a limit of prayers a human being was entitled to in a lifetime,it was as sure as the dawn that they'd be nearing their limits.
She wondered whether her guardian angel was near her, watching and silently protecting her,
She glanced up to look at the doctor in his surgical garb,he was tall, very tall and extremely pale and light skinned for a Nigerian, perhaps one of his parents was a non Nigerian,it wasn't weird anyway, her mother in-law was an Danish national, resulting in her husband pale and light skinned looks or was it light skinned before pale?, did pale and light skinned belong; in a sentence?, She was confused now. Did she remember any thing now or was it the anasthesia screwing with her head, she thought about the multiplication tables, the one her father had drilled into her head that before she reached sixteen,she could recite all the way up to 30 times. Perhaps she should start now and she did, successfully up to 17 and her brain seemed to blank and shut off, she couldn't remember 18×3, perhaps she should ask the nurse and she did just that and the nurse gave her a bewildered look, a look that said 'what the fuck'.
Wait why was she saying 'fuck',it was bad word wasn't it? Or was it a word that pertained to copulation,she decided to ask the nurse who gave her a stern look and told her to shut up and focus on something pleasant and muttered something along the lines of crazy married woman or something like that.
She couldn't be bothered about that anyway so she focused on something pleasant, perhaps flowers or sex. Zemaye popped in her head and she felt a sharp stab of pain in her chest or somewhere in her body,she couldn't be sure, the anasthesia was screwing her judgement,the pain was so abrupt and unexpected that she gasped and tears burned behind her eyes or was it the doctor that poked her innards too hard perhaps with the scapel he held in his hands,face twisted into a grimace that marred his pretty features.
The machines were ringing off the hook like crazy now,it sounded like keys and she thought they were the keys of heaven, the one her pastor had preached the Sunday before the last,and she saw Zemaye, looking like her previous self,tall elegant and a perpetual smile etched in her face complimenting her dark caramel skin that gave her the impression that 'Z' always had face pain. She held a squealing bloody infant,and looked at Zemaye, she wore the hospital gown,a shade of light orange but it was covered in blood. Zemaye stretched out her hands motioning for a hug and her feet that seemed to be fastened to the ground moved on it's accord and towards Zemaye and she hugged her,the baby between them as she stood inhaling the scent of leather and Vanilla that she recognized anywhere as Zemaye.
Zemaye stroked her head softly, smoothly and lovingly like a mother would, there was peace all round in that embrace,it drowned all other feelings.
Zemaye gave the best hugs still. They disentangled from the embrace and she stood looking at Zemaye,her face glowing ethereally, Zemaye placed the baby in her arms,she opened her mouth to speak but Zemaye placed a finger on her lips silencing her,"You're not dead yet,Folasewa", Zemaye spoke,"I know what you're thinking, I'm dead now,God has willed it to be this way". Tears broke free from her eyes at this but Zemaye cleaned them, wiping them with her fingers that seemed to be colder," Take", she said offering Folasewa the baby she held in her arms, Folasewa looked confused, Zemaye smiled and gently put the baby in Folasewa's slowly outstretching arms,"Raise him right,treat your son as you would have treated me, remember I will always love you. Always."
Zemaye and Folasewa hugged, sharing the last embrace even if it was in her memories and her vision faded and she opened her eyes tears obscuring her vision and she remembered everything clearly. She would remember the look of shock on the doctors and nurses faces, the euphoria and joy on her husband's face as he kissed her on the head,"Bankole we had a son." She'd said to him,he nodded, seemingly choked with emotion.
And as she drove Zemaye to school that Monday morning,her heart was a mixture of Joy and sadness. And as she parked her car in front of his school she turned to him as he prepared to leave the car to get his friends to help carry the birthday goodies from the car and said," Happy Birthday Zemaye,i love You".
Unlike other birthdays where he'd complain that she'd said it way too many times,he turned to her and she could have sworn he looked like Zemaye for a moment and he said,"I love you Mom". And as he left,there were tears in her eyes as she said,"I love you too Zemaye" And for a split second,she felt a light touch that filled her with emotion and there she knew she did well.
And it was like she felt that embrace again,
Truly, she gave the best hugs.
The End.
JUDGES REVIEWS
Judge Orange✨
The punctuations were a major turn off to
me. That was something that almost made it difficult for me to go through the work in peace. That asides, the story was good; the writer knows how to relay emotions and use their words. I was patient, and in a lenient mood, so I was able to go through the work to see through it's plot, even though the punctuations were a turn off.
The writer should also take note of how to relay their work without being too repetitive or making their sentences look weak and unprofessional. The beginning of the work, for example.
Instead of, "She sang to herself as she tapped a beat on the Lexus convertible as she drove towards her son's school…"
The repeat of 'As' in the beginning sentence just made it look unprofessional.
It could have been written better as, "As she drove towards her son's school, her fingers drummed against the Lexus convertible, tapping to the beat and rhythm of the song….."
This looks better and more professional. Clearer too. Almost fancy. Learn to coin your words in a more sophisticated manner, use solid words and descriptions, and be straight to the point without repeating conjunctions unnecessarily.
The punctuations are another very serious issue too. Periods come after the close of a sentence, and not a comma. If you don't want to use a period, you could make do with this (;) ; it substitutes for it.
All in all, I like this work, despite it all. Looking away from all its flaws, it was a good one.
Judge Black✨
The writer needs to do serious work on their punctuation and paragraphing. At the beginning, to be honest, I was lost and confused but it all later made sense. Nonetheless it was a touching story with nice execution of the prompt.
Judge Gold✨
You had a good story idea but you failed to execute it quite well. It was almost an herculean task to read the short story and coupled with the misuse of punctuation and how jam-packed your story is.
Judge White✨
I liked the idea of the story and the hint of sadness in it. It was a beautiful story but would have been better if the punctuations were right. Too many unnecessary commas where full stops were meant to be. Also, dialogues are not meant to be woven in between paragraphs, it makes your work look really messy and muddled up. Another problem is Some words that were meant to begin with a capital letter are in small letter. Your grammar also needs a lot of work. Unfortunately these reasons outweigh the beauty of your story.
DD MARX 007
SENTENCE PROMPT: SHE GAVE THE BEST HUGS
Dear Diary…
I still remember the nights Adaeze and I shared in our small flat on the mainland.
We were polar opposites, so you could imagine the surprise when our shared friend group found out we had started dating.
Adaeze was a genius, and she could go on and on about quantum mechanics, string theory, or her favorite philosophical topic of all time, Solipsism.
"Solipsism is simply the belief that everything around you is created by your mind Jay. It's such a wonder to ponder on, don't you think?"
She would ask, her big, bright, chocolate eyes would widen in question, filled with passion.
I frowned and replied,
"So does that mean I'm not real to you?"
After which she held me by my waist and snuggled into my arms, filling me with her warmth.
"If everything is created by mind Jay, you're the best thing I've come up with."
She always did know how to give the best hugs.
Sometimes, when she falls asleep, I would just stare at her in awe, wondering what great deed I might have done in a past life to deserve someone as amazing as Adaeze.
"Jay!"
She screamed my name from our bedroom one afternoon.
"I need help!"
I was scared, but I knew that Adaeze had quite the flare for dramatics, and my premonition was proved to be quite true, when I saw her in an oversized dress, trying to pull the zipper down.
"Help me Jayjay, my zipper is stuck." She whined like a hurt puppy.
"Is that why you were screaming my name like I owe you money?" I had asked, giggling while simultaneously pulling down her zip.
Before I could register anything, the big dress was a pile at Adaeze's feet leaving her with nothing but her red panties on.
Her dark skin was flawless, with her long legs seeming to go on for miles.
"I- I- What-" I stuttered, probably already red in the face.
"Are you always going to get flustered each time you see my naked body?" She had responded, throwing her head back in laughter.
"Come here." She said, lowering her tone, drawing her lips closer to mine.
And the rest is history. Quite literally.
Adaeze always told me never to live in the past.
"The present is here Jay. What use is wondering about things or moments we can never get back to?"
She always said smart things like that.
Once, in our tiny living room, she blasted Enhypen, her favorite music group.
She claimed that Drunk dazed, her favorite song from them, had the ability to raise her spirits no matter how bad she felt.
So here she was, in my hoodie and boxers, dancing much like the name of the song.
Adaeze was so full of life, so much so that I never knew she was dying.
Adaeze was in the final stage of Lung Cancer, and I never even guessed it.
I feel so stupid, I claimed to love someone and couldn't tell when the light was draining from them.
Now that I think back, the signs did show, but everytime I asked, Adaeze always gave me a fitting response.
"Adaeze, you're losing so much weight, are you fine? You know I love you, not what you look like right?"
"Yes babe, must be metabolism acting up, I'll try to eat more."
…
"Your asthma seems to be getting worse, should we go to the doctor's?"
"Don't worry yourself Jayjay, it's just the harmattan dust."
…
I lost Adaeze a little over a year ago, and I still dream about the last time I saw her.
"Promise me you'll always live in the now, life is too short to spend whining about what we could have done, when there's still so much we have to do." She told me while I was clinging unto her helplessly, willing the gods not to let the only thing that has made me happy go.
"I love you Jayjay." She whispered, hugging me back. Her hugs smelt just like her, like cocoa butter and vanilla.
I couldn't believe that was the last time I would be hugging Adaeze. She always gave me the best hugs.
An hour later, I saw life disappear from her, and I was nothing but a crying mess piled at her side, begging the coroner not to take her away just yet.
All that is over, and I have a new job now, a better paying one and people tell me I'm crazy for refusing to leave the apartment, but I can't just leave the place I made all my best memories.
Sometimes I go back into her tiny closet to feel her clothes. Adaeze's scent has started to fade from them, but I fear that if I don't do it, I might forget all the amazing hugs she gave me.
The end.
JUDGES REVIEWS
Judge Black✨
This is beautiful. I screamed inwardly. The emotions, how realistic it was. I was just so emotional. Keep it up.
Judge Orange✨
I need to see this person and bow because wtf!🔥 Love! Love! LOVE! Everything about this piece from the beginning to end choked me. I felt every emotion. I think I may have shed a tear or two. It was such a beautiful story. Their build up was my favorite part. Steady, and absolutely perfect. Everything about this work was amazing.
Judge Silver ✨
You have to write a book on this! I can't even express how I felt reading that. I loved Adeaze’s character even though I met and lost her within the span of some words but God. I love love this piece.
Judge White✨
Such a Sad, but Beautiful piece. The emotions were perfectly represented and conveyed. I could literally feel Ada's happiness that I was smiling as I read about her. You made it feel as contagious as you wrote that it was. I also felt Jay's pain after her Death, how he would still go back to her wardrobe and pick her cloths to take in her scent, just to reminisce the feel of her body against his. Beautiful. Very Beautiful.
Judge Gold✨
Your story reeled me in and I almost teared up when Jay lost Ada. Your story is that good but you really need to brush up your paragraphing skills
So, there we have it; Our Contestants have written their best works and our Judges have given their Reviews.
Which work was your Favourite? Which one was your 'IT' factor?? Comment down below!
And, remember to stay tuned for the Judges reviews of the works of Contestants 008 to 014 that we will be coming in tommorow! And also, keep in touch for our hot Diary/Confession Night that is pending! We are only just getting started with PROJECT PEN!