I was laughing.
I couldn't help the chuckles and giggles that left my lips as I continued to watch Xaler attempt to cook a meal. It was clear that this wasn't something that he did very often, but he was trying and making the effort simply because I asked him to.
Currently, he was using a chunk of a brick to flatten out the pieces of chicken we bought from the wolf-ran market. It was a place that most humans were not able to frequent very often but utilized by the lower-ranked wolves that could actually afford the products they sold. The street market run by humans only exists because of those that hurriedly gather gardening supplies in their bags and boxes when the wolves took over.
I tried not to go there since the time we were currently having was enjoyable - pleasant. And knowing Xaler, this wasn't something that happened very often either, much like him cooking.
Now, I could have easily grabbed a meat cleaver from the wolf market to make this easier on him, but I wanted him to understand what the human experience was like of using whatever we had available. To make due with what we were given and that things were not great or lavish for humans. I needed him to see that, to understand that.
I was too caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice when the pounding of chicken stopped and only registered what was happening when Xaler's arms wrapped around my waist from behind.
I sucked in a breath and tried to dampen the light nerves in me. I don't think I could ever not feel nervous around him. Not with our past.
His chin rested on my shoulder and he whispered into my ear, "is something funny, my lux?"
Shivers broke out all over my body at the feeling of his warm breath tickling the skin of my neck and shoulder. Whether it was from nerves or excitement, I couldn't tell.
And that worried me.
I knew I needed to get closer to him for the purpose of the rebellion, but I was unsure of how and in what ways I could push him. Besides, I didn't know how to flirt let alone seduce someone. Even if that someone was my mate.
However, I threw caution to the wind and tried. Nothing beats a failure but a try.
"Maybe," I breathed, steadying my hand on the knife that was chopping an onion.
A low but playful growl rumbled in his throat as his hands gripped my waist tighter and he pulled me closer to his body. His warmth seeped through my clothes and cause another shiver to burst through my body.
His nose trailed the skin on my neck, favoring the area where he had marked me before burying it in my hair. "You should know, I don't like to be laughed at."
"Yeah?" I breathed again. My heart was hammering in my chest and I figured it wasn't just nerves or excitement, but rather a mix of the two.
"Yeah."
"Hmm. And what is the big bad wolf gonna do?"
I barely got my words out before Xaler spun me around and lightly slammed me against the counter, wasting no time pressing his body once again to mine. My skin was prickly hot and my lower stomach fluttered at his proximity. I couldn't help but gaze into his eyes that held nothing but amusement and lust.
He stepped impossibly closer to me and I could feel every muscle of his against my body as he too stared deep into my eyes. I was certain he could feel my heart thundering in my chest, anticipating what was coming next. Xaler towered over me and I found myself slowly inching up on my toes to be closer to him.
My eyes quickly flitted down to his lips before snapping back up to his and I knew that he caught the motion. I went as high as I could go on my tippy toes while Xaler continued to bend closer and closer to me. His own eyes zoned in on my own lips.
I couldn't help but wet my own lips with my tongue as I awaited his next move. But that action seemed to speed things up as his large hand came up to hold my cheek and the other held me firmly in place by the waist.
His lips barely grazed mine when a knock sounded on the door. The knock smacked me back into reality and forced me back onto the soles of my feet. Xaler's head hung until his forehead met mine, his eyes still holding me captive as I tried to steady my breathing.
I recognized what I was feeling was actually disappointment. Did I want Xaler to kiss me? He had kissed me before, ut most times I didn't want it, but now, here, I think I did.
"I'm going to murder whoever is on the other side of that door."
My breathing stagnated and I couldn't help but stare at him wide-eyed as he moved his forehead away from mine.
"Kidding," he said before leaning into my ear once more, "but this isn't over."
Xaler winked at me and went to open the door to reveal my family. We had invited them over for dinner when we left for the market earlier making sure to emphasize that I wanted our family at dinner. Something that sparked a bit of hope in Xaler's eyes. Anything that had to do with grouping him and myself as a collective, a partnership, was like a drug to Xaler as he wanted nothing more than to mate and be together officially. To start a family, and grow old together. That's all he wanted. Too bad he was rotten to the core, or at least I thought before coming here.
Xaler stood off to the side, holding the door open for my family to enter in with a wide smile and a playful glint lingering in his eyes.
"Welcome," he boasted a bit too enthusiastically and slightly scaring my mother and sister as they somewhat jumped. Xaler noticed the action and cleared his throat, "my apologies," and nodded his head.
I stared in shock as Xaler actually apologized to them. Xaler? Apologized? What the fuck was going on?
"No need to be sorry, my King," my mother muttered out.
Xaler moved on from the strained moment, "I hope you're hungry. It's not quite ready, but it will be soon. Please," he gestured to the living room as the last of my family entered the hut and stood awkwardly just to the left of the door. "Make yourselves comfortable."
What was he playing at?
Was he actually doing this to appease me? To get close to me and my family out of pure intentions? Or did he have an ulterior motive? Or was I just reading too much into things because of the paranoia that followed my mission?
Upon looking at the expressions of my family members I knew I was not alone as their faces held the same confusion and apprehension that I felt inside of me. Slowly they made their way to the living room.
"What's for dinner?" my mom asked.
"Ah, she won't tell me. Says it's a surprise. All I know is that she said it is one of her favorites," Xaler answered her.
My mom gave me a knowing look, "I figured that's what it was," she smiled before joining the others in the living room.
Xaler looked at me, "how does she know?"
I smiled at him, "she's my mother. She knows everything about me. And who do you think taught me how to cook or made me all my favorite things?"
Xaler simply nodded his head and went back to his station with the chicken. Together, once I finished chopping the vegetables, did we begin combing the ingredients for the meal and cooking it. Xaler dipped the chicken into the flour, egg batter, and breadcrumbs before laying it on the pan. Luckily, before we even moved into the hut, Xaler had necessary appliances installed that would fit a man of his degree. That meant a bigger refrigerator, stove, and sink to name a few. It would be forever before we could eat if we still used the same ones as before.
Families don't normally make each person their own individual meal for a multitude of reasons. However, Xaler was insistent on doing so for this evening and I wasn't going to decline the chance for my family to have their stomachs full.
Finally, the chicken was in the oven and a pot of water was on the stove ready to be boiled for the noodles.
We worked together in sync prepping the salad and setting the table. We moved between one another fluidly and if it weren't for the plan grounding me, I could almost envision a future like this with Xaler.
But yes, the plan. The one to kill him. Murder him. Could I do that? Was I a murderer? What if he changed? What if he was able to completely change things mostly back to the way they were? Maybe not fully, the wolves wouldn't relinquish full control, but what if it was a possibility for humans to be free and not live in squalor?
It's only been a handful of days, but he was already putting himself out of his comfort zone, putting a few things out of his control, and showing me a different side. A side of what he could be. Of what we could be.
"Something on your mind?" he questioned next to me as his broad arm rubbed against mine as I stirred the noodles.
"Just wishing I bought stuff for a dessert," I quickly supplied.
He studied me and I wasn't sure if it was out of affection or suspicion, "I can order someone to bring one."
"No no, it's fine," I turned and grabbed his forearm just as he moved to turn himself, "really."
He looked from my hand on his arm to my face and I began to wonder if I upset him by touching him. However, that fear was short-lived as he grabbed my hand and thread his fingers through mine.
"I wish you could experience the feeling of the mate bond," he confessed out of nowhere. "The feeling I get just by your touch is enough to drive me insane and I mourn the fact that you cannot feel that as a human."
It was time to put my acting and the plan to the test. I took a slow breath in and look him directly in the eyes.
"I wish you could experience the way you make me feel as a human without the influence of a mate bond."
I bit my bottom lip lightly, something I knew drove him mad, and fluttered my eyes closed when his hand cupped my cheek. When I opened them next I wasn't expecting to be hit with the feelings that drove through my heart. His face looked at peace yet raw hope filled his eyes. It was like he was seeing me for the first time and the guilt sprung deep in the pit of my stomach.
Was he more human than I thought he was? Could the evilness in him be eradicated? The look in his eyes at the current moment was telling me that it could. He was looking at me like I was the most precious thing to have ever laid foot on this earth. That if he were to look away in this moment, I would simply disappear. He was looking at me like I was the other half of his soul and I guess for his kind, I was. It was one thing to hear about mates, but actually being one, even without the mate bond for humans, it was another to be in the arms of someone that looked like they would die for you.
"Rosie, I-" the ding of the timer cut him off and ruined the moment. The look that filled his eyes dwindled away and his hand dropped from my face.
I blew out a breath, "Xaler, will you grab the chicken?"
He did as I asked as I removed the noodles from the stove and strained them into the colander. He followed the rest of my directions of spreading sauce and cheese on top of the chicken before popping it back in for a few minutes.
Soon enough everyone was sitting down at the table, eating. It wasn't a normal family dinner for me, but that was because of the outside guest who was not privy to the history of our family dinners. Yes, we were oppressed, depressed, and impoverished, but dinner was always a loud and joyous event in our daily lives. There was no shortage of talking, laughing, and loud voices.
That wasn't this dinner. No one offered much conversation at the table and I assumed it was out of fear of saying the wrong thing in Xaler's presence. Just silence as forks and knives cut across the plates. It wasn't until Xaler took his first bite of the chicken did the silence end.
He slammed down his cutlery and stared at the meal on his plate.
I could feel the fear and nerves from my family and if my sister shook any more violently I was sure the hut would come tumbling down. Even though I was afraid too, I knew I was the only one relatively safe in this situation.
"Is-is everything alright, Xale?"
His head snapped up at the nickname that I wasn't even truly attempting to use, his wide eyes softened and a large smile spread across his face.
"I made this?" Xaler pointed to his chicken.
My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. I wasn't quite sure what he was getting at. "Yes?"
"Wow," he said in quiet astonishment and looked back at the food on his plate. "It's damn good."
And with that, he picked up his fork and continued eating. Everyone else at the table let out a collective breath of relief, including me.
"Riz does make the best," Remington offered, "I guess you now too, huh?"
Xaler looked at Remington, who supplied a smile to Xaler to which he responded with a half-smile and a nod of his head.
"So, uh-" Xaler began and my heart fell a little at his forgetfulness of my brother's name.
"Remington," he offered.
"Right, Remington, forgive me," he said between bites. As soon as he finished chewing he continued on. "What do you do?"
I could snort at his silly attempt at informal conversation with my family. It was clear that Xaler wasn't used to making small talk with anyone. I couldn't really blame him, being conditioned at birth for control and power and being King and whatnot.
"I'm a digger."
"A digger? For what?" Xaler questioned, confused about my brother's job.
"Graves," Remington answered although it sounded like more of a question.
"Graves? What for? Wolves are buried up on the hill under the moon."
Remington swallowed and looked to me, unsure of how to progress in this conversation. In order to calm his worries, I answered for him.
"Humans, Xaler," I answered softly, quietly.
My answer froze him, hand midair with a fork full of food, ready to be inhaled and he looked at me.
He cleared his throat and shook his head, "but the executions have slowed significantly, they are almost nonexistent now. What humans are dying?" Xaler questioned in a fluster.
"Uhm," I began in a shaky voice knowing this could go one of two ways. "From-from starvation and illness and dangerous working conditions," I trailed off purposely failing to mention the abuse from wolves that patrol the streets. Sometimes they took it too far and we lost a human. After all, most wolves saw us as playthings.
The weight of my words seemed to hit him full force. There were plenty of things he never thought about when it came to the humans, to people like me, and this was one of them. This whole thing was a joke really. There was no way he could truly understand the gravity of the situation that his kind had put humans in.
Was I wasting my time with this plan? With trying to get him to see how things really are for us? For him to change?
Before I could go further in my thoughts or for Xaler to respond, a knock at the door once again interrupted us.
Xaler was first to his feet. Of course, any time there was an unexpected person outside of our door, he was the first there, convinced whoever was on the other side was there to hurt me.
However, his body relaxed when the door swung open to reveal my bodyguard.
"My King," he began, "there's been an incident."
Xaler looked back at me before stepping outside and shutting the door behind him.
I looked at my family, who I knew wanted to speak freely but didn't in case Xaler could hear them or at the possibility of him re-entering the hut at any moment.
"Dinner is delicious, baby. I taught you well," my mother offered as she continued eating. Which signaled a silent command for the rest of the family to do the same. I returned the smile she gave me and pushed the chicken around on my plate. I kept eyeing the door, waiting for Xaler to come back in. Whatever 'incident' there was had my stomach in knots.
But just as quickly as Xaler left, did he come back inside, "Rosie."
He called for me and I excused myself from the table.
"What's wrong?" I asked immediately, but quietly.
"Nothing for you to worry about, my love. I will take care of it, but I will need to leave tonight."
"Do you have to?"
Where did that come from?
I chalked it up to the plan and continued to look at Xaler. He once again was looking at me like he was earlier. Like I was the oxygen he needed to breathe. Like I was everything.
"You could come with me," he offered. But as I looked over to my family eating dinner, he continued. "But I won't ask you to do that. Go," he motioned back to the table, "be with your family and I'll be back in the morning."
He gave me a light kiss on the cheek before excusing himself and exiting the house.