nathan dawson's pov:
What I realized, while sweating under the ridiculous looking black gown and readjusting my cap for the millionth time, was that social situations would likely always be difficult for me. Especially ones with crowds and too many pairs of eyes fixed on me. I was grateful I wasn't the one who was supposed to be giving the Valedictorian speech.
"Good evening to my fellow graduates, administrators, guests and friends. My name is Nicholas Dawson. I stand before you as a graduating student of Frostford High, and I'm honored to be representing the graduating class of 2022."
It might not surprise you to hear that Nicholas had the honor to give the speech. Once a golden boy, always a golden boy. Even after he had started working on his perf*ctionism, not taking so much stress over grades, he was still the best of our class. Figures.
Yet, instead of feeling inferior to him or jealous of his success, I was so happy for him that I wanted to bounce up and down right there and then. I couldn't do that with everyone's eyes on me, so I opted on a grin so wide my cheeks hurt.
When I glanced at the audience, I found Jeffrey wiping his eyes while mom and I shared a proud smile. Jonathan was fiddling with a Rubik's cube, which mom had no doubt given to him to make sure he would be able to sit still the entire ceremony. He was smiling to himself, sometimes glancing up at Nicholas.
"When I was writing this speech, I stumbled upon a website, which called the Valedictorian speech formalized bragging. According to the site I wasn't supposed to come here and give you a speech about how amazing I am, but we all know that is practically impossible." Nicholas held up his hands, smirking while the audience laughed.
"Or, more precisely, it would have been impossible for the old Nicholas. He would have loved for everyone to admire his confidence, even if it were all just an act." Nicholas continued, turning serious.
"High school doesn't only teach you how to write flawless college applications, and despite what our teachers might say, getting A:s is the least important thing you can do here. I learned the most from my fellow students and friends, even from my enemies." I watched how Nicholas and Solar locked eyes for a few seconds at the last part, but I knew neither of them truly regarded each other as an enemy.
"We came here to study, but let's face it, 90 % of us care more about who we sit next to in a class, with whom we share our lunch breaks and who we date or would like to date. We fight to be popular, to be liked, to be nothing less than perf*ct. Until one day we realize that each day spent trying to be something else than we really are has been a waste of time and effort." Nicholas paused for a second to let the words sink in.
"Stop trying so hard to be perf*ct. Stop asking so much from yourself. Stop telling yourself you are not enough. Stop blaming yourself for your mistakes and flaws. Stop looking for validation from others. It all begins and ends with your mind. Stop wasting your life trying to be something you're not." Nicholas skimmed the audience, until his gaze locked with mine and he smiled. "Your life is yours, so live it."
The speech didn't end there, but my mind started wandering to the presentation and how I would have to walk on the stage to receive my high school diploma. I dreaded I was going to stumble or drop the diploma. So no, giving a Valedictorian speech would never have been possible for me. Nicholas and I were different that way, and it was more than okay.
Luckily I didn't stumble or drop my diploma or cause any other sort of a disaster. My hands were shaky and I felt sick to my stomach all the way up to the stage and back to my seat, but that much was to be presumed. Then, finally, the ceremony was over.
"Take this." Jonathan handed me a rose, which was wrapped in cellophane, and squeezed his arms around me. I hugged him back and he giggled, and I couldn't wait for the day he would be the one to get his diploma.
"I'm so proud of you." Mom hugged me next, her eyes brimming with tears. Jeffrey joined the hug just as Nicholas appeared behind me and got his share of the congratulations and embraces.
Someone tapped my shoulder and when I turned around, I expected to see Solar. Instead my gaze landed on a cloud of brown hair and a pair of dark eyes framed with thigh glasses. It had been such a long time Liam had had a conversation with me, that I had forgotten what he looked like up close.
"Hi." He breathed, rubbing the nape of his neck. I didn't answer, I just nodded slightly. He pulled me further away from the prying ears of my family members, but still kept his voice low when he started talking. "I, uh, I don't like the way things have been between us lately."
"Me neither." I mumbled.
"I've been an ass." Liam continued. I was surprised he was aware of it. "I didn't know how to react with you being gay, because.. I'm not even sure why. I just panicked, okay?"
"Okay." I glanced at my side, finding Solar and his parents waiting for me. I gestured for them to wait with my family and then turned back to Liam. I could tell he was feeling uneasy and instead of being angry or hurt, I felt sorry for him.
"Really?" Liam's eyes lit up and he gave me a cautious smile. When I answered with a smile, he started grinning and continued with a new alacrity: "I'm leaving for Lisbon by the end of the month. I got into this program which is supposed to give me a clearer vision about my future career or something."
I could tell Liam was excited about going there and I let him ramble for a while. It was nice talking to him, even if I knew we would never be the same again. We were going to go our separate ways, but at least our last conversation together didn't end with him saying "oh" and then ignoring me for months.
"But we should see before I go, for the sake of old times." Liam grinned.
"Yeah, sure." I smiled back at him. Then we said our goodbyes and once I turned to walk away, it crossed my mind that we probably weren't going to see each other again. It didn't make me as sad as I thought it would. Liam was my friend and he helped me through high school, but there just wasn't going back to what we were before our fight.
I joined Solar and his parents and grandma, who were talking with my family. It was the second time I saw Solar's mom, Amelia. Solar hadn't exaggerated when he said she lived at the hospital, and I could tell how happy it made Solar to have her present at his graduation ceremony.
"Hello there." Amelia greeted me and gave me a tight embrace. She was a tall and handsome woman, her facial features on the verge of being too angular to be called beautiful. Her eyes were steely and sharp, but her smile was kind. She barely batted an eye back when Solar introduced me as his boyfriend to her and Jaxon. At this point I was already part of the family.
When I parted from the hug, I noticed Solar looking at something over my shoulder. The corners of his mouth quirked up when he met my gaze: "Someone is here to see you."
I turned around to face a short girl, who had a septum and blue hair. Everything from her lips to her shoes was black. Next to her stood the tallest guy I have ever seen. His dark brown hair reached all the way to his shoulders and he was also wearing black from head to toe.
"W-what are you doing here?" I asked and made a poor excuse of signing it in ASL, praying Jacob was good at reading lips. Before either of them said or signed a word, Lava pulled me into a bone crushing hug.