Song: Style - Taylor Swift
........................................
Hailey
Eli dragged me all the way to the girls restroom and Kimberly locked the door behind us. The music was muffled in here and I refrained from scrunching my nose at the sight of wet paper balls on the corner and ceiling and the poorly kempt, pooled floor. As much as I love the Karaoke, it didn't have the best cleaning services back here.
"You guys realized I'm right in the middle of a date, right?" I wondered half amused when they stood before me. Eli took out her russian red lipstick to fix herself and Kimberly stood there, folding her arms. Too serious. I gulped, suddenly worried. "Is everything okay?"
"Is it true?" narrowed her eyes Kimmy, confusing me further.
"Uh?"
"That Marco texted you." My stomach churned at his name. My phone suddenly heavy in my pocket. My lack of response was answer enough and answered her. "And you told Eli before me."
"Hey." the girl protested, hopping up to sit on the sink with her back against the mirror. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Kimmy barely gave her an annoyed look before turning her inquiring glared towards me, waiting for an answer.
I huffed, brushing my palms against the skirt of my dress. "I know what you would have told me."
"And what would that have been?"
"That I should be over it already." I rushed looking away as my cheeks burned. "Or to tell him to go to hell."
"Well, have you?"
"I haven't answered yet... I haven't even read it." It could be misplaced text, for all I knew.
"Why?"
Yeah, Hailey, why?
"I don't know..." I folded my arms as well. "I don't want to."
Kimberly scoffed, but Eli's eyes softened. "Hails, don't you think it would be better to just get over with it?"
"Over with what?" shook her head Kimmy. "Block him already and push him to the back of your mind. If you're not gonna take revenge on that wimp just ban him from your life."
"It's not that easy, okay?" I stuttered. Marco was a topic I wasn't comfortable nor prepared to face. In fact, if there was a chance I could just shove everything regarding him to a ship and sent it to the deepest pool of the ocean, I would. My mood was already dropping. "You seriously brought me here to talk about Marco? Ian is literally out there."
For better or worse.
"Yeah, about that." Eli chirped, leaning in confidentially. "How is it going? He looks cute."
"He looked like a bore."
I blushed because, once more, Kimberly was right. Why was she always right?
It wasn't that he was boring per se... he just didn't seem interested in anything. He would nod, listen and let me talk... but that was pretty much it. His answers were always monosyllables or inconclusive. Maybe he was just shy or introvert.
As someone who's been labeled as boring multiple times, I wasn't that into throwing that tag around just like that. Maybe all Ian needed was some time to loosen up. And still, him being passive-closed didn't mean it was a 'bad date'. He was polite, and listened to me. Like, really.
"He's fine." I defended, ignoring Kimmy's perked brow and turned towards the mirror myself, fixing my waves -now a little frizzy- and the low cut of the dress so it didn't show off more than I intended. "Actually, he's pretty sweet."
"No offence, Gracie, but you're not the best here in judging characters."
"Yeah, right... but also, I'm the only one here who's held a conversation with the guy. Who by the way, is waiting for me." as if on cue, there were knocks on the locked door and Kimberly rolled her eyes letting me sidestep her. "Thank you girls for your concern, but I'll worry about the texts at some other time. Ian got now my full attention."
"Let us know if you need an escape." taunted Kimmy and Eli just waved.
On the other side of the door there was a frowning girl, annoyed, but with enough rush not to bother voicing her thoughts and instead just walked straight into one of the booths.
I moved back to the cocktail table where Ian was, exactly where I left him. It was frustrating that we weren't fitting just fine, because it wasn't a bad date. And he was nice, and cute. He had symmetric features and beautiful dark, smooth hair. His eyes were soft, of a light shade of grey and a few freckles sprayed all over his nose bridge.
Ian was cute. So cute. His features were perfect and sharp, like a ken in real life. I was actually bewildered and happy about the surprise. His picture did show him like that, but I almost expected another catfish.
And he listens. But that was the 'problem', if you could even call it that. He listens and barely reacts.
"Hey." I smiled sheepishly standing back on my side of the cocktail table. "I'm so sorry about that. My friend had a little crisis, but it's all saved now."
"Oh, it's okay." he nodded. And that was it. Not further prying, or curiosity, or even irritation for the way they interrupted the date.
Ian just nodded and lifted his glass to take an unbothered sip.
"So," I tried not to let it bother me. "I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"
"Can't remember."
Yeah, me neither. I cleared my throat. "Well, anyway, it feels like I'd been doing all the talking."
"I don't mind." he smiled, but I was kinda unsettled by his apparent passive mood on everything. I needed to find something that stirs his passion as well.
"Well, I do." I tilted my head at him. "So, what about you? Apart from work, what do you usually do?"
"Just, stuff I guess." was his vague response.
"Such as?" I pressed and he bit his lip. I giggled, trying to play off how much I really wanted to find the right button that would make him open up about any true feeling he harboured in. "Come on. What keeps you up at night? What keeps your mind off stress when you return home after a long day, uh?"
"Well," he shifted. "I guess..."
"Yes?"
"I like poker."
"Oh." that wasn't at all what I was expecting, but okay. "Nice. I've only played it a few times, but it's known to be enticing."
Ian smiled at that. Smiled. Truly. That was probably the most I'd snatched from him all night. "Yes, it is."
"Cool." I shifted too, satisfied with myself and encouraged by that a little. "So, tell me: you play it, like, professionally? Or with friends..."
"Online." he shrugged. "It makes good money, you know. I got a whole theory about that."
"A theory?"
"More like a method." he cheered up.
And as much as it thrilled me in the beginning having found out his passion about online betting money over a card game wasn't my wisest decision.
From that moment to the next thirty minutes, he proceeded to describe every single detail of said method he used in poker. How he wins, when to make the proper moves, what those moves were... Damn, I almost rather have him nodding to everything passively over his incredibly exhaustive description of poker strategies. O did I? Was I being a bad person for thinking so? Did that made me selfish? Self-centered?
I looked over the other's table after what felt like hours of poker lessons and somehow locked eyes with Kimmy -who tilted her head, perking one brow, as if asking. I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could, turning away from them all -smiling and joking on the table- and back to Ian's dreadfully monotonous tone.
Just be nice, Hails. "Great." I giggled, cutting when I felt like he'd ended a sentence before he could dive into another long explanation. "Is there anything else you like?"
"I don't know... Movies?"
Good. I perked a little highter, resting my elbows on the table. "Which movies?"
"Uh, all?"
And here we go again making pointless conversation again. After another half an hour I felt like banging my head on the table. Sure he was cute, and sure he was nice. This was by far the best date I had since I started using the app, but did that immediately made it a good date? I had my reservations about that.
His phone beeped over the table and his eyes darted there a brief second, but he didn't take it, making my stomach churn in more regret. And he's even nice enough not pay attention to the phone. I really hated being talking to someone and have them checking their phones every now and then. It really got on my nerves.
"Don't you want to check that?" I baited, but he shook his head.
"It's alright. Probably just the guys."
By the guys I assumed he meant his friends. Somehow, that was reassuring. "Do you contact often?"
"Yeah, I mean, we always play at night." and like that I felt my hope deflating. More poker. "Today they had set this match with some really got catch."
A quick glimpse to my wrist watch told me it was almost eleven pm already. What time did this matches usually were? "Will you be able to make it?"
He bit his lip, for the first time some kind of discomfort morphing his features as his eyes slid almost involuntarily to his face-down phone once more. "I don't think so."
"Well," I cleared my throat, deciding to put and end to this pleasant-unpleasant date and give him an out: "It's okay if you want to go."
"Really?" He began to rise and I felt guilty at the almost relief that washed over me. "You want me to drop you somewhere before? I mean, it's kinds late."
"No, thank you. I knew someone back there," I nodded vaguely where the rest were. "And it's not really that late."
Wrong. I say that without thinking. To excuse him. But Ian took it as if I wasn't done for the night. He froze mid movement from buttoning up his blazer and his lips pressed into a line. "Oh." and slowly sat on his stool once more. "Maybe you're right."
"Not like that." I giggled, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "I understand if you had other plans already. I'm cool with it. If I stay it doesn't mean you have to as well."
"Sure."
There he was again. Being obliging.
"You can tell me if you don't want to." I encouraged softly but he remained impassive and have me the umpteenth shrug of the night.
"Okay."
I could feel my eye almost twitching. Stupid! Why had I opened my big mouth? He was already leaving! And I really didn't know if I have it in me another hour dragging the full conversation by myself or listening more technicalities about poker.
As I both beat myself mentally and squeezed my mind for a topic that would make this flow again, someone decided to approach us just as the song playing was done and a nice wave of applause surrounded us for the girl that just performed some Blondie song.
"Hey," Nate stood by our table, more on my side and my heart lurched at the witnessing of this whole scene by none other than my ex.
Why Nate of all the people? Why was he even here to begin with? I wasn't even sure how to act with him after our last interaction. The fact that I still couldn't remember everything that went down that night made me more nervous if anything. And then there were the text. Casual, chitchating texts.
As if reading my mind, he smiled almost sheepishly. "I've been told to come check how things were going." he said simply and I feel my face hot with embarrassment. Kimmy and her set ups. "So, how's everything going?"
"Good?"
But his left eyebrow perked, clearly seeing my tension and tapping foot. But in my defence, his presence wasn't exactly helping. "You sure?"
"Completely."
"Don't get all moody on me." he had the nerve to taunt, sounding almost amused as he took a sip of the beer hanging casually in his hand, letting it on the small cocktail table and like that leaning closer so I could practically feel the warmth of his arm tingling mine millimeters away. "I was just checking."
My eyes narrowed at his green ones. Ones that pierced through me like a poison tangling my feelings and thoughts.
What is it to you? I was about to ask you that, irked that he would feel entitled to walk into my business just because he let Kimmy encouraged him, but before I could someone else spoke:
"Oh," Ian frowned, looking between Nate and I and his face fall, shifting to different emotions and he tugged the collar of his shirt almost nervous before meeting my eyes again. "Is this supposed to be for a threesome?"
"A what?" Nate frowned and I almost widened my eyes and gape in surprise and horror, but my inner self was faster and latched to the given chance.
"Yes! Yes." I rushed meeting Nate confuse glance and forming a plan along the way. "Uh... yes." I tugged Nate closer by the shirt and embraced him closer by the waist, amazed at how easily we seemed fit. Something bubbled within my rib-cage, but I refused to acknowledge it on top of everything.
"What are you doing?" Nate wondered into my ear, so close at my sudden move I didn't have to worry about Ian hearing him. My mind was busy worrying about other things.
I sent him a smile, whispering through my teeth: "Deal with it." and then back at an eye-wide Ian. "You see, we thought I would break the ice first, but Nate couldn't help himself. " it was easier to feel like I was pointing this on someone else, but I shouldn't play with Nate's patience considering my credibility hung on his reaction. My head dropped naturally on the curb of his shoulder, still overwhelmed by how it felt his scent, warmth and touch all around me. Nate tensed against me, shocked, and I silently prayed he played along. "Right, honey?"
The especially hissed intensity I put behind the pet name seemed to make him snap out his shock, and to my luck, he seemed to decide to make it easier for me.
"I guess." he conceded and I relaxed a bit when I felt him untensing as well, dropping his heavy arm around me just as easily as I seemed to fit with him. That weird stir of nerves pooled now in the pit of my stomach.
Ian furrowed his brows. "I'm just... confused right now."
He probably was looking for a poker-simile to process this. I almost feel bad. But this wasn't even that cruel, right? Just an easy excuse. I was surprised Ian didn't call bullshit at once. It was a poor excuse that made absolutely no sense. I went to speak, to soften it; but Nate beat me to it.
"Ah, yes. I'm just as surprised, but Hailey here just can't seem to get enough." he teased, clearly determined to make the most out of it and ashamed me for dragging him to this. My skin burned as he cupped my chin so I looked up at him through a forced grin and gnashed teeth.
"Nate."
"Deal with it." he whispered back in an equal low tone only for me to hear and used the leaning position to kiss my cheek, making my heart almost dropped out of my chest.
"Oh, yeah, uh." Ian stood awkwardly, struggling to find an easy way out without being rude about it. "I'm really sorry... I like you, really, but..." his eyes trailed to Nate and he shook his head. "Not really into that. Sorry."
The moment he was gone, I groaned embarrassed. "You had to make me sound like a sex freak?"
"You told him we were looking for a threesome." Nate chuckled, still amazed by it. "I must tell you, as a straight man, if we're to have a one I would rather prefer it with another girl."
I scoffed, nudging him as his arm dropped from around me. "I'll keep that in mind." and I blushed as he took the free spot Ian just left. As much as this was all fake and mocking, talking about experimental sex with Nate felt... weird. Exciting in some strange way, but mostly unsettling and heat pooled in my cheeks. "You actually followed through." I said, amazed he did and he shrugged.
"You know me, I like to keep you on your toes."
No, he didn't. He was just saying that because he liked to leave an impression. But it was working and the flutter in my guts wasn't something I could easily overlook. But I was overflowing with frustration, anger and shame so I could dodge it for now.
"Why are you here, again?"
"Apart from apparently being your excuse?" the humor was very present in his smug tone. I sent him an unimpressed look and he drowned his smirk in his beer. "Kimmy insisted I come say hi. I think she was worried you were being too much of a people-pleaser to tell him off on your own. Turns out she was right."
Of course.
I knew that already, but it still got me feeling both betrayed and glad Kimmy intervened like that.
But come on, sending Nate?
I looked away, feeling almost busted under this spotlight and the pressure of his eyes. "It's not like that."
"No?"
"No." I assertively declared, wanting to prove... I don't know, to prove something. "I like Ian."
"Oh, you do?" I nodded. "Then how come we are apparently looking for a three part, honey?"
"Uh." I buried my face in my hands, self-conscious as ever as I try to put myself in Ian's shoes. If I had a date with someone I meet online and halfway through it a girl comes by to see 'how things are going', would I assume she was into it as well? "I don't know how he even came out with that."
Nate shrugged. "He probably sensed our earth-shattering chemistry."
"Aren't you hilarious?" but the worst thing was that he wasn't even joking. I mean, yeah, that was a sarcastic smart-ass remark; very Nate-like. But the chemistry? Like it or not, it was there. And I hated it all the more. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine."
And it actually looked he was fine with it. Like it didn't bother him the way it seemed to bother me. Like he didn't kiss my cheek and left me more bothered by it than the entire date with Ian. What did that say about me? About us?
I shook my head, deciding to push it all to the back of my mind and lift the mood before he -or me, for what matters- overthink it all the more. "Well, thanks. For covering for me."
"No problem." he rested on elbow on the table, reaching out and taking my glass instead of his, lifting it carefully to inspect the color and curiously sniffle it. "Can I?" I nodded, startled he was even asking and watched him take a sip. But then his nose scrunched and he let it back down.
I couldn't help a smile at his -against all odds- cute reaction. "What?"
"It's too sweet." he grimaced making me laughed in spite of myself, taking the glass back and slid it closer as he drink his beer once more probably to wash away the 'too sweetness' of mine. "What is it?"
"43 with pineapple."
"Yuck."
"I like it."
"Alright." Nate had another go of his and let his eyes scan me up and down in a way that got me all hot and bothered. Why? I shouldn't allow this. It was stupid. And then he smirked. "So, how was the date? Jokes aside, you said you like him, but made up a whole plot to make him ditch you. So I guess it wasn't as well as you claimed it was."
"He was fine. Sweet and nice and all... it's just, he wasn't for me." I looked down at my glass, fiddling with it. "That seems to be the problem with this app, isn't it? I can't seem to ever find the right guy. It's either too intense, or not enough. Is it so hard to find average?"
"Is that what I was?"
I snorted a laugh. The unsettleness still burning in my chest as he twisted it to talked about us. "You consider yourself average?"
"I'm glad to see you don't, sunshine." Nate smirked, satisfied at my snatched confession and I looked away hoping he wouldn't see my cheeks burning. He was again mocking the love name thing and I decided to focus on that.
"Don't let it get to your head, honey."
"I wouldn't dare, baby."
Baby. A shiver ran down my spine. A shudder that awoke memories and long forgotten emotions.
"Not that." I warned, and I was ashamed it came out breathless.
"No?" his head tilted and I shook mine. "Why?"
Because it used to be real.
But I didn't say it. And I didn't need to say it for him to understand. I could see the recognition sparkling in his green eyes a moment later.
There was a tense silence that stretched between us. Just the same moment as another performance ended. A new round of applause faintly becomes the club and a new couple took the stage and pick their song.
"Right." Nate adverted his eyes, looking over there as the first notes began to play and the girl began, completely out of tune but with admirable motivation.
I cleared my throat. "Have you sung yet?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh really?" I hadn't actually expected an affirmative answer. "I haven't heard that."
"Well, it happened."
I must have been too busy pretending to be interested in poker or squeezing my mind for easy talk to miss that. If I remember correctly, Nate had quite a good voice on him, nothing professional but pleasant enough. Yet, to hear him perform for the karaoke? "I have trouble believing that."
"It happened." he chuckled. "Riley picked the song."
"Oh," I scrunched my nose, understanding. "The guy has poor taste in music."
"I know." he chuckled. "But he's cool."
"That he is." I conceded. Riley was cool, and perfect for Kimmy, but even the golden guy couldn't be that perfect and his basic music knowledge was one of his few flaws. "What song?"
"Call me maybe." he answered after a moment and I laughed, unable to help it just picturing these two guys singing to the Carly Rae Jepsen song. Nate looked up at me, startled, but didn't seem offended as his lips tugged upwards and he leaned over. "Have you sung something?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "Before Ian. Eli and I have this thing going on, you know? We're trying to find our song."
"What does that even mean?"
"It means every time we come we sing at least one song we both know until we find the one that clicks. Therefor, our song." I lifted one shoulder. "At some point we'll find it."
"Isn't that something couples do?"
"No. I mean, yes, but not exclusively."
"Okay." Nate rose his hands, still humored by me and I sipped from my sweet cocktail. "Cool. Now, back to that date-"
"Why do we keep going back to that?" I groaned, self-consciously but it fell on deaf ears.
"-What's with the hundred tinder dates, uh?" I really hope the dim lights of the club were masking the sudden blush and how I felt my heart dipping at the matter stirred. There was no way I was telling Nate about Marco, Meredith and the god forsaken wedding. "I didn't peg you as one to try so hard when it's clearly not something you enjoy that much."
"I do enjoy them."
"And through an app?" he didn't say it accusingly, and maybe that's the reason why I didn't feel like shutting down even considering who I was with. Nate reached out brushing his hair in that way I knew he wasn't as calm as he was playing it out to be. Was he nervous? awkward? "You know, I never quite understand the appeal of it."
"Of a dating app?" I giggled rolling the glass in my fingers. "You sound like an old man. The youth those days..."
Nate smiled, leaning forward into his arms. "Call me old fashioned, but I just don't think dating apps would work for me. It feels too... mechanic. Ever thought of actually going out and meet someone along the way? Have a meet-cute or whatever."
I couldn't help a grin. "I'm surprised you know the concept of a meet-cute at all."
"Yeah, well, I dated this girl that was cheesiest being ever. She use that kind of words." An ex. Alyssa? Or Alyssa was the actual girl? That shouldn't create a reaction out of me, but somehow it did. "So?" Nate insisted when I failed to refute his initial question with my overthinking of his love life. Stupid. His teeth showed in another breathtaking grin and my stomach twitched as he tilted his head. Actually interested. "Why not the usual bar flirting?"
And here I was blushing again. "Uh, I can't flirt face to face." I confessed, spiked by the environment and sweet drink.
I downed my cup as his gazed shifted from confused to amuse while he processed my stupid words. "And how do you flirt?"
"Virtually?"
"You know, I don't believe that."
"You should. If I meet someone at a bar..." I trailed, playing the scene in my mind.
My social skills were limited. I wasn't exactly a social butterfly, and whether I considered myself quite an extrovert and easy-going, meeting new people wasn't usually my thing. Unless it was work related. I never had much trouble when I was set on something, but out of the mere sake of it? Nah. If the other person didn't initiate the encounter I was as good and an octopus.
"I couldn't." I shook my head. "I wouldn't know what to say... how to act... And I shouldn't be telling you that." my brows pursed together, surprised at how easy it was to open up to Nate. It shouldn't be this easy.
He shrugged, getting back to his full height on the stool and somehow the gain of personal space made me more lucid, realizing we'd been really close. What the hell was wrong with me? Why do I keep forgetting how to act around him?
"Girls have it easy." Nate joked. "It's usually expected from us to take the first step."
"Like you have a problem with that."
"Not really," he smirked, messing all the more with my faint resolution. "But not everyone is as charming as I am. You know how pressuring it is?"
"Patriarchy." I taunted back. "Being excluded from every minority existent must have its handicaps as well or the world wouldn't be fair."
Nate's bright smile was like a jab to my chest and his gaze spoke its own language. "The world isn't fair."
"Right." but it came out breathlessly.
It felt like there was a shift in the air. Like a change in the pressure and I had to look away of I would feel lightheaded as well staring back at those green eyes that seemed to cut through me.
Once snapped out of it, I noticed the place wasn't half as packed anymore, and that we were reaching the happy hour by how the presents drowsily moved by. It must be past midnight already.
I cleared my throat. "I should probably get going." I got up, surprisingly not as fan of the idea as I should be. "I have work tomorrow. A big event."
"It's late. And dark."
"I know. It's fine. It's a short walk from here."
But Nate shook his head, downing his beer and standing as well. "Come on, I'll walk you."
"Oh, you don't have to-"
"I was leaving too, either way." he gestured towards the table and I saw Kimmy curled practically on Riley lap as they make out. "Elika left a while ago and I'm not going to babysit the couple."
We let them know we were going and Riley gave us a grin, but Kimmy barely gave us a wave before going back to kiss his neck.
Okay, then.
I was half nervous about spending time with Nate like this, but was too tired to fight it, and let's be honest, this was a patriarchy after all and this late I feel safer with him by my side.
We walked home and it was surprisingly pleasant. He told me about his new work here and how he was settling in and the small talk, the jokes and even the silence didn't feel awkward for once between us. Maybe we could try to be friends?
Did I want that? I don't know. I still felt weird around him. So weird. Like anxious, and nervous and excited. But did I hate it? He left me, he hurt me so bad in the past, but now? We were both different persons now. Maybe I should try to judge who he was now and accept that the old Nate broke my heart. He had apologized for it, what else was I expecting?
Maybe I should just agree to put it all behind at last. Not forget, but forgive and move on.
We reached my building and I thanked him for the walk, still confused and fished my keys as he stood there. Unable to decipher a better goodbye, I waved at him and turned to unlock the front door.
"Hailey." Nate stopped me before I enter. "I liked hanging out with you."
Surprisingly, me too.
Maybe for the drinks, the helping or the little moving moment...
I found myself smiling. "Good night, Nate."
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Hey! Soooo, any thought on the update? Have you ever had a blind date or App date that turned out different than what you planned? I'm up for new ideas. A let me know what are your thoughts on Nate and Hailey moment (Nailey?). I'll be dying to read it <3
If we get to 1600 votes, I already have the next chapter ready <3
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