Reece
One hour became two. Then another passed. I felt jittering and anxious. I couldn't even look at coffee anymore. I had hit my caffeine limit. The vending machine nearby had lost its appeal hours ago. My eyes fixed on the doors I was watching, hoping the surgeon would walk through them to tell us everything had gone well.
But for a moment I had to fight the fear that he could very well give us the worst news. I shook my head. No I couldn't even consider that possibility.
Max rang and I made my way to the edge of the waiting room, as far away as I could get from Aiden who was watching.
"Hey," I breathed, feeling the weight of what I had just done with Aiden weighing on every word I spoke.
"How's things going?" he asked.
I let out a heavy breath. "The waiting is the worst."
There was silence.
"If you need me, I can be there in ten minutes."
It was the last thing I needed. What if he could see the betrayal? What if he picked up on the awkwardness between Aiden and I? I couldn't chance it. Besides I had enough on my plate with Lacey, I couldn't cope with anymore.
"Thanks but I'm okay. Hopefully it's only going to take a few more hours."
"Let me know how it goes."
"I will." I ended the call. I have never felt more disconnected from him.
Even now I could still feel the imprint of Aiden's hands on my body and the pressure of his mouth against mine. I lifted my hand to touch my lips.
Had Lacey's illness been the start of the decline of my relationship with him? At the same time my connection with Aiden had strengthen to such an extent I had thrown everything to the wind to hook up with him in the janitor's closet. I was still mortified at my actions. This wasn't who I was. As someone who had been cheated on more than once I knew what it felt like to be in Max's shoes. How could I do this to him?
Right now I couldn't even look at myself or Aiden. I was just trying to hang onto the last bit of calm and sanity I possessed to keep my shit together.
When I had returned from my hook up with Aiden I soothed my hair afraid someone would see something to reveal what we had just done but thankfully no one noticed. My shame was my secret. And I was thankful for that. What would Lacey think of my thoughtless actions?
Back in my chair I linked my hands oblivious to those around, locked in my own hell hole of guilt. I tried to keep my thoughts from thinking the worst outcome for Lacey. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep Aiden from entering my thoughts much to my own disgust. He sat only a few chairs away from him and I swear I could feel the heat of his gaze on me.
I wanted to concentrate on how I was going to help my friend recover from the surgery.
I was hoping for the best case scenario where she would recover in a week or two and be the same Lacey I had known for years.
It felt like an eternity and then the doors opened. Dr Clark, Lacey's surgeon walked into the waiting room. I shot up to my feet, feeling slightly dizzy. I studied his features as he cleared his thought. I couldn't tell if it was going to be good or bad. Then I felt someone take my hand and I realised Aiden stood beside me. No one else noticed. I shouldn't have felt strength in his touch but I did. I squeezed his hand tightly as I waited for the surgeon to reveal what happened.
"We got it out."
Everything else he said I didn't hear. I held onto the his words. We got it out.
I turned to Aiden. He mirrored my relief and I hugged him.
Relief was an understatement. It was a new lease on life and she would get to do all the things she had wanted.
When Aiden released me I murmured a thanks. No matter what had happened between us he had always been supportive and that much I appreciated.
But the wait wasn't over. I wanted to see her before I headed home to get some shut eye and a shower. I yawned. It had been a long day.
Aiden kept his distance after that. And it was probably for the best.
Everyone went in to see Lacey briefly. It was one of the hardest moments. To see someone I loved lying unresponsive in a hospital bed with machines breathing for her was difficult to take in. Even though I kept assuring myself that she was fine it was still difficult to see her like that and not allow it to shake my steady world.
I was tired and emotionally exhausted when I came out of her room. Aiden pushed off the wall outside her room.
"Do you want a lift home?" he asked.
I nodded. I was too tired to question his motives or my own. Maybe it was the fact I needed to get out of there, the pristine white walls and stale coffee to allow myself to feel more human and allow myself to hope.
I said my goodbyes to everyone and headed out the hospital with Aiden.
It was dark outside and I had no idea what time it was.
In the car on the way to my house I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes.
**********
"Reece." The voice sounded so familiar.
Aiden. I opened my eyes. I frowned taking in the surroundings and trying to figure out what had happened.
"You fell asleep."
I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Sorry," I murmured.
It was still dark outside. We were parked outside my house.
I should have just said thanks and gotten out of the car but I didn't.
"You okay?" he asked.
"She just looked so vulnerable." My voice shook.
"The main thing is she survived. She's strong, she will recover. She will live happily ever after with Adonis."
I needed to hear that so badly. I nodded. He had a way of saying exactly what I needed. I was fearful of what my mind would conjure up when I was on my own. What if something had gone wrong and we didn't know it yet? What if she didn't wake up?
"I should go." I said the words but made no move to get out of his car.
Maybe I hoped he would tell me to but he kept silent. But the truth was I felt connected with him in a way that I couldn't explain. His presence kept me from thinking the worst when it came to Lacey. I wasn't ready be alone with my thoughts.
"Reece." It was the way he said it that made me look at him. His eyes held mine.
"I can't be by myself right now."
He rubbed his forehead. "Then stay with me."
I looked down at my clothes. I had to change. Questions would be raised if I showed up at the hospital in the same clothes I had worn the night before.
"I just need to grab a change of clothes."
"I'll wait."
I got into the house silent without waking up my parents and snuck up to my room to shove some clothes into a duffel bag. I left a note stuck to the door of the fridge to say I would be back later.
Quietly, I left locking the door behind me.
I got into Aiden's car and threw my bag into the backseat.
The drive to Aiden's didn't take long and he parked in the driveway.
He grabbed my bag from the backseat while I got out. I followed him inside his house and upstairs to his room.
Once inside he closed the door and put my bag on the floor.
"Will you parents mind me being here?" I asked, softly. Not wanting him to get into trouble.
He shook his head.
"But I'm sure Max wont be happy about this."
I flinched like he had struck me.
My first reaction was to leave. I grabbed my bag. "I'll leave." But I never got far.
He pulled me back to him. My back against his chest. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
But it was true. I closed my eyes and felt the guilt sweep over me again.