"Hush, my darling, don't fear, my darling
The lion sleeps tonight"
- The Tokens, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Chapter Fifty-Three
I'd heard people say a new dream could be found when a current one was achieved or lost. I used to wonder if that was all life was — was life just spent pining for more?
I'd wondered where the contentment was, the satisfaction, the happiness. I'd wondered if we were just expected to glean what satisfaction we could from the achievement. Derive what contentment was possible from knowing we tried our best, even if the finish line was never reached.
If a goal was achieved, was a momentary thrill of success the only thing to look forward? Do you just move on to another dream? To some new goal that may not even be attained? Are we just forced to give chase to whatever clouds blow in?
Were our entire lives just cycles of discovering and discarding dreams, regardless of whether they happened or not?
I thought about this as I stared at the unimposing man on the other side of the desk. By default, most ambassadors strive for middle ground. Not too dominating, not too meek. Not too pushy, not too pushover. Not too desperate, not too easy-going.
Ambassador Baros was like that. He carried all of, and yet none of, those qualities. I'd recently learned how much someone could be more than one thing; how it was possible to fit in too many boxes at once. Ambassador Baros reminded me of that lesson again.
His expression was impassive, only thoughtful eyes telling me he was listening as I fought the urge to fidget. There was no comfort to be drawn from the hard chair I sat in, but I didn't wish to look anymore unsteady than I surely already did. My back was rigid.
"Well?" Baros finally asked, his tone blank.
I frowned. "Well what, sir?"
Baros puffed a slight, almost imperceivable sigh, and leaned back in his chair. He untwisted his fingers that'd previously been set on the desk before him; instead, he placed one hand on the armrest of his chair and the other propped under his chin. His expectant gaze left mine to look out the window of his office.
D.C. bustled behind the paned glass, hot and heavy under the August heat.
"Who was it?"
My face still showed my confusion.
"Who was it in Cruz's office?" he asked, tapping his chin lightly. "I always liked Cruz. Good head on his shoulders. Hard to find that around here sometimes, Ms. Woodsen."
"Yes. He was a good mentor. I was sorry to leave, but he retired, and it was time. This was always supposed to be the final destination," I acknowledged. Baros nodded.
"And I'm sure it wouldn't have been easy to stay considering everything that happened."
"You're correct, sir, but I was already in the process of moving here when everything started." Baros nodded again in agreement with my statement, remembering the new employee schedule for his office I was supposed to begin months ago. That hadn't happened.
"As for the... ah, person of interest that served as the point of contact for Warren Cawton... well, it turned out to be a little complicated." I shrugged slightly, remembering the events of the past month. It'd been four weeks since I'd almost died, four weeks since Quentin was revealed to be the traitor he was, and four weeks since I'd started therapy.
"How so?"
"It wasn't only one person. When you dig up an area of rot, it usually turns out to be an infestation." I met his gaze evenly. "There was a lot more going on in that office than anyone knew."
Baros's eyebrows shot up, but I continued. "That isn't to say Mr. Cruz was incompetent, or I was disconnected from the teams," I added. "Just that some battles are lost behind closed doors before they ever reach the battlefield. Sometimes, you're just too distracted with the fight to realize it at the time, sir."
Baros evaluated me quietly for a moment. When he spoke, it was with carefully chosen words and a hint of somberness.
"That's very true, Ms. Woodsen. I think you've got a good grasp of how things work in this field, as terrible as it may be. You may call me foolish, but I still have hope history will eventually fall out of favor. Maybe even refrain from repeating altogether; maybe then we won't have or need the closed doors."
I dipped my head in silent acknowledgement, but it went without saying I agreed with his hope. I wasn't sure I still held it, but I agreed with it anyways.
"I wouldn't think you or Cruz incompetent, regardless. His office isn't the first, nor will it be the last, to have more than a few within carrying their own agendas and motivations. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I'm not sure there is a politician who can say differently of their own office." He chuckled lightly, peering at me humorously. "You know, the two of us sound rather cynical, Ms. Woodsen. At my age and experience, I think I've earned some room for criticism, but don't tell me you're disenchanted already."
"I think we all have to make room for criticism of what we do, and what we're part of, or nothing will ever get better, sir," I admitted with my own smile. "But I wouldn't say I'm disenchanted — quite the opposite, actually."
"No, I suppose you're right. You're here, after all." He sat forward, leaning on his desk. "And the hacker?"
At that, my body stiffened. An ache grew up my arm, pulsing beneath the cast, but I shoved it back down.
"Richard Cawton."
Baros sucked in a sharp breath of air at my words, his mouth flattening and brows dropping. "Representative Richard Cawton?"
My fingers tightened on my cast, and I nodded in confirmation.
"Damn," Baros said quietly.
"His people, at least. I'm sure you'll see it on the news any day now. The case was still being put together, but it's just finishing touches at this point."
"Why'd he get involved?"
"We think he was involved in some way from the very beginning. Warren thought his brother threw him to the wolves, which was true, he did. Warren still held a lot of anger towards Richard when he was interrogated, but despite that, he still took both his dad's and brother's calls quite frequently. It seems like Warren's family did keep him out of jail when Seaplast went down, just like we'd suspected. I'm sure that helped a little bit... but his brother still betrayed him. That isn't easy to get over. I wouldn't be surprised if Warren had been kept on a tight leash with Richard's election coming up, but Warren never got over the hurt, and he snapped. He just didn't realize how much was really being orchestrated by Richard. Romano's emails with Warren allowed a window in, a lot more than Romano realized, and it made Greystone vulnerable. And where Warren was, Richard was lurking, too. I don't think Warren knew, at least not all of it."
I flicked my eyes to the window, looking at the people hurrying past. "Hackers leave signatures. It took Beck Ramos and his team a while, but they found him. I don't know all of the details, just that Richard Cawton saw some loose ends that needed to be tied up for his brother and his election. After he took Reed and I out, Romano most likely would've been next. The Cawtons probably expected to pull some strings, blame someone else for the shooting, and sweep the whole thing under the rug. But they'd underestimated Greystone."
I smiled wryly, returning my gaze to Baros.
"Yes, they did," Baros agreed. "And Greystone?"
"Underwent a change in leadership."
Baros barked out a laugh at my response. "I'm sure. So, who's to congratulate as the new head of Greystone Security?"
"Not Greystone anymore, actually. They rebranded. Their reputation took a hit, but I have faith they'll recover eventually. Most of their clients are still loyal." I sighed, but a slow grin spread over my face. "As for the CEO, you can congratulate Mr. Simon Gatz."
Baros was surprised. I didn't blame him.
"Not what's-his-name? Sterling? He was second-in-command, wasn't he?"
"He took the role for a while. Romano was forced to step down immediately, and he stayed to help. But when they got back on their feet enough, Reed stepped down too."
"Interesting choice. He could have been CEO," Baros mused.
My heart fluttered. "Yes. He could have."
The room settled into silence for a moment as Baros thought through the heavy load of information I'd presented him. He finally turned to me with an unreadable expression. The result of my time in his office was ready to be revealed — what the outcome of the meeting was going to be.
"I'm sorry it took us so long to organize this meeting."
"No, I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I'm very thankful, sir, not most people would allow a meeting at all, considering my start date was two months ago. You've been very gracious."
"Not most people have a story to tell like you do, Ms. Woodsen." He chuckled, and I couldn't help but smile and agree. "I look forward to the bestseller one day."
"In this field, how would I ever find the time?"
He laughed outright at that and stood from his chair. I followed his action, standing and waiting to see what my fate was.
Baros leaned forward and extended his hand. "Thank you for your time, Ms. Woodsen. You gave me one hell of a conversation starter for poker night."
My heart plummeted, but I shook his hand firmly.
"Thank you for your time, sir." I stepped back, ready to leave my dream behind and find another cloud to chase.
"Ms. Woodsen? Anna, the secretary, can help set up your work email," Baros said, already turning to his computer.
I hovered in confusion, my hand already on the doorknob. "Sir?"
Baros looked up from his computer with raised brows.
"Welcome to the team, Ms. Woodsen. It's not often positions are put on hold, or covered by the rest of the team for two months, but we're glad to have you. I hope you prove me right in this decision."
My mouth fell open. It was impossible. It was so unlikely. It was... happening. It was happening, and I couldn't believe it. But I swallowed my excitement and kept my composure. Inside I was attempting cartwheels, but outside I kept a professional smile.
"Thank you, sir. I look forward to being part of the team."
Somehow, I made it out to his secretary's desk. Somehow, I set up the work email and made my way outside. Somehow, I made it to the apartment I'd moved into a week before.
I'd moved in as planned because I was locked into my lease, but I'd done so knowing there was a very high chance I'd have to break it if I didn't secure a job in D.C.
That, or I'd have to win the lotto — but it seemed like I'd done both.
I still couldn't believe I'd moved without knowing what would happen, without knowing if I had a job. I still couldn't believe it'd worked out with Baros. I still couldn't believe how everything was turning out.
As soon as I opened the door to my apartment a short while later, I realized something was very odd. No mass of brown fur was barreling down the hallway. No nails were scratching for traction on the floor as a dog leapt at me. No Rolo was greeting me with high levels of excitement. I frowned as I kicked off my shoes and threw my stuff on the table by the door. The door had been locked, so there was no reason to think there was an intruder.
Right?
It was awfully quiet in the apartment. The kitchen and living room were empty.
It was only as I entered the bedroom, leaning against the door frame, that a breath of relief escaped me.
The queen bed was dwarfed by a lazy mutt and a snoring man. Reed was clinging to the edge, as Rolo took up the entirety of the rest of the bed. Rolo raised his head as I entered but didn't give me the happy greeting I was accustomed to. The little traitor had a new favorite, but I supposed I wasn't too upset about it. Well, maybe a little bit.
Maybe just a tiny bit resentful.
I smiled at the newest battle of the bed. I remembered the first night Rolo and I stayed at Reed's apartment overnight. I'd stayed at Kennedy's at her insistence before leaving for D.C., but truthfully I'd really only spent time there when Reed was busy at work. Other times, I was with him.
For a while I'd found myself out of sorts being away from him for long periods of time. We'd spent so much time together for so long, and we still had so much uncertainty about the remaining danger surrounding the loose hacker. Reed had felt the same. It was hard; Greystone was being dismantled and rebuilt, and our closure didn't feel complete. Both of us had entered separate therapy and Kennedy did, too. Trauma had happened all around, and none of us allowed any shame in working through it.
Reed and I were taking it steady. We were still figuring this out, figuring us out. We weren't rushing it. We didn't need to.
Reed's arm fell off the bed in his tangled sleep. I was surprised he hadn't fallen off completely yet. As I watched my love, I replayed the memory of the first night at his apartment again, finding it just as funny.
"No, this is not going to work! No. Don't you dare!"
I laughed as Reed huffed, tugging at the blanket under Rolo. Rolo blinked innocently, curled up on Reed's side of the bed.
"Avery, do you see this?" He gestured wildly at Rolo, still trying to tug the blanket out from under him. "Can you control your dog please?"
"I told you, dogs on the bed are non-negotiable. You won't be able to get him off if you tried, he's had years of sleeping on the bed with me. He's not going anywhere without a fight," I informed him, sliding under the covers on the other side.
"I agreed to a dog on the bottom of the bed! This is my side." Reed turned to Rolo, looking him in the eyes. "You're being unreasonable."
I was pretty sure he'd been talking to Rolo at the end. I couldn't stop grinning as I snuggled deeper into the blanket. All my life, I'd always slept on one side of the bed. Even though I'd almost always slept alone, I'd always fallen asleep and woken up tucked on one side, like I was waiting for someone to fill the other. Rolo sometimes filled it, being a bed hog, but it was usually empty. Now, I didn't think it would ever be empty again, not in the way that really mattered.
Reed tried to scootch Rolo over, but the large dog was not moving. Rolo and Reed gave me identical expressions of 'Can you believe this guy?', but I'd decided to stay out of it. It was a matter of hierarchy.
Eventually Reed glanced over at me, seeming to give up the first battle of the bed war. He crossed over to my side and flopped down on top of me as I squealed. He made sure not to crush me, but enough of his weight settled like an entirely too heavy weighted blanket.
"Get off!" I laughed, shoving at his chest. He only huffed again and tucked his head into my neck. His arms curled around me, holding me close.
"This is your fault. He's your dog."
"So, I should sleep on the couch then?" I teased, poking his sides. He flinched, not from pain, but from his ticklish side I'd recently discovered. One hand swatted my hand away while the other tightened around me.
"Over my dead body. Go to sleep. We'll deal with the bed situation tomorrow," he grumbled. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and slightly rolled off, settling into a more comfortable position for both of us, but he kept our proximity as he tangled us together.
"Are you going to be able to sleep?" He softly asked after a few moments of silence.
I chewed my cheek, shrugging slightly. Therapy was helping, but it was a slow battle to pick apart the layers of my sleep issues. Especially since my last safe place to sleep had been taken away after the accident. Loss of a balanced sleep schedule was common after traumatic experiences, according to my therapist; some people slept a lot, and some didn't sleep very much at all.
But medicine was helping, and so was a strict nighttime routine. So were Reed and Rolo, who both refused to leave my sides when the day darkened. One day I might be able to sleep alone again, but I never really did before this summer, anyway. I always had Rolo. Now, I had both.
"We'll lie here awake together," Reed promised at my vague response. I shook my head, knowing he was exhausted. I leaned up and pecked his cheek.
"Sleep. I'll get some too. Goodnight, I love you." Reed muttered his love back, still eyeing me doubtfully.
He kept his word that night, and every night after. He made sure I was asleep before he himself succumbed. He was exhausted, and I battled with guilt, but he refused to sleep before me. It tickled my soul and swelled my heart, even as guilty as I felt. He didn't like that I felt guilty, and always reassured me it was nothing.
Promising he'd do anything for me.
I was so distracted by the memory I almost didn't notice when Reed stirred. He must've been exhausted to take a nap during the day; his long hours lately were no easy feat. Luckily, our sleep schedules were a lot more regulated than they used to be.
"Avery?" He asked groggily, sitting up as he noticed me in the doorway. I pushed off the frame and entered the room with a smile.
"Hi." I leaned down, kissing him softly. "How'd you sleep?"
He ruffled his hair and peered blearily at the clock. He let out a laugh as he stood and stretched. "Apparently a lot longer than I intended to."
"Long day?"
"I've had longer." Reed shrugged. "Do you want to order in tonight? I'm starving."
"Sure, counselor," I teased, spinning to make my way to the living room.
"Not a lawyer yet!" Reed called after me.
Reed was the obvious candidate for the newest CEO of Greystone — he just hadn't wanted it. I wasn't sure he'd ever wanted it. He still helped, of course, and he had a heavy hand in the rebranding since his friends were still there. He'd never leave Simon and Beck to pick up the pieces on their own, but instead of the CEO position, he'd accepted a consulting position with the FBI. He'd also admitted he'd started the process of applying to law school. One day he'd achieve his own dream of being a lawyer. He already had an advantage; Cruz had immediately taken him under his wing.
When he'd told me about his new job, I'd been so happy for him. I'd also been terrified. A part of me had wondered if he'd taken the job with the FBI because of me, if he'd decided to apply to law schools near D.C. because of me, if he'd made life-changing decisions because of me. It was too much, too soon. We'd been through life-and-death situations, but it was still fast in the grand scheme of things. It was a hot and heavy summer, but it was still just a summer.
We had to have the kids talk, the finances talk, the future talk, the 'is your family crazy and if so, how crazy are we talking' talk, and so many more. Love was locked in, but there were some finer details to iron out before we were ready to cross countries for each other.
But Reed had assured me it wasn't because of me. Or rather, he'd admitted I had some influence over the decision, but the FBI was the best career choice in the end, anyways. He'd said he was just thrilled it happened to be where I was. We'd also decided on separate apartments; we hadn't known each other long enough to make that leap yet. Although, he hadn't found one yet, and based on how comfortable we were together I wasn't sure how much time he'd be spending away even when he found one.
"How did it go today?"
Reed and Rolo entered the living room right as I settled with my laptop. I slowly set it down, turning away from the ordering screen of our new favorite place for takeout. Reed stood unsurely next to the couch. He looked like he was preparing for anything I could say.
Yet, he still seemed just as surprised as I was when I told him.
"He's letting me on his team," I said with a beam. Reed whooped, pulling me up from the couch and into his arms.
"I knew it! Of course he's letting you on the team, they'd be idiots to let you go."
"I can't believe it," I admitted. "It'd seemed so unlikely."
"Hey, after the summer we've had, I think we deserve some unlikely miracles, don't you?" Reed laughed into my shoulder. I nodded, agreeing as I tugged him tighter. It was all coming together.
I'd gotten both dreams.
Only one chapter left.
- H