I stared with a sour face, squinting my eyes at the party Fez had driven up too.
"No one said anything about a party." I stated bluntly. Fez forced a small smile, shutting off the car while looking at me from the mirror.
"Yeah, just got some business I gotta deal wit' tonight." I looked beside me, Rue already getting out of the car and shutting her door. Fezco following suit. I sighed in defeat, escaping my fate quickly and proceeding to get out of the car too, Ash following suit as well.
My actions hesitate slightly, Fezco giving Ash a look. The one you could easily tell held a lot more meaning but also one that you couldn't tell what it meant. I squinted my eyes at this, Ash suddenly cutting me off from Fezco.
"C'mon on, ma. You can come sit wit' me by the pool, no one fuck wit' you there." I smirked coyly, tilting my head some.
"I don't need your protecting." He gave a sly smirk, giving me a quick look over.
"You sure? You really seemed to like my help last time." He stepped closer in front of me. I squinted my eyes some, walking past him quietly. I sighed in defeat, almost smiling before remembering where I was.
"Seriously, I'll be by the pool if you need me, ma." I looked back partially, nodding as I continued my way inside. We all know where I'm going. First fucking stop I was gonna make.. The kitchen. I ducked, dodged and slipped in between the people with ease, taking a cup greedily from the never-ending supply.
I blinked in disgust as the two older teens in front of me, eating each other's face. Oh God, please don't tell me that's what me and Ash looked like.. I leaned away from them, reaching out for a bottle as I tried not to interrupt them. I looked down at the bottle walking to the other side of the kitchen, pouring some in the cup while doing so.
I rested against the counter, throwing the cup back. I made a face, realizing it was vodka. Seriously?.. I put the bottle down, grabbing another random one and poured some of that instead, throwing that back. I gagged at the liquid, making a face at it. Nevermind.. I'll stick to the vodka..
I poured some into the cup, drinking it to wash down the previous mistake. I sighed, going to drink some more.
"Oh my God, Marina! Have you seen Cassie? Wait, hi, Happy New Yea's, I love you. Have you seen Cassie?" I blinked, taking everything Lexi had just thrown at me. I chuckled incredulously under my breathe, almost confused.
"Uh. Happy New Year's, love you too and no, I haven't. I'm sorry. Is everything alright, though?" She sighed heavily, seeming to give up, shaking her head.
"We got in a fight on the way here, she just.. She jumped out of the car while I was at a red light. She's already drunk. I think, I don't know." I take a small sip from my drink.
"Well, I haven't seen her, but if I do, I'll let you know. I'm sure she's fine though, Lexi. Hey, if I recall, you didn't have much fun at the last party we went to. Why don't you, like.. I don't know. Go.. meet a boy or something. Not fair of Cassie to always be out having fun. Which reminds me.. We need to hang out more." I grinned childishly at the end. She exhales slowly, smiling at the end of it.
"I know. I just.. I worry about her, ya know?" I smiled, nodding in agreement.
"Trust me, I get it. I swear their lack of safety is just.. unbelievable." I playfully scold our sisters motherly, causing her to laugh.
"Hey, you're not exactly careful yourself." I looked over to her, shrugging a shoulder, almost a proud smile.
"Hey, but I make it fun." She rolled her eyes playfully, before looking at me unconvinced.
"Just, be careful out there." I chuckle into my cup, drinking some.
"I'll pretend to try, for your sake. Now go find yourself a date." I smile innocently, her sighing as she shakes her head.
"Me? What about you? Where's Aaash~?" She sang out teasingly. I sucked my teeth, looking away from her. I've been friends with Lexi for a while now, obviously, it's bound to have come up at some point that I had feelings for Ash.
"Girl, stop! Get outta here with that." I smiled, eyes scanning the area, subconsciously looking for the one we speak of, even if I knew he was by the pool, which was also the one direction I didn't actually look in. I raised the cup, hiding my face from her as she laughs.
"Oh, but you two are so cute together." She teases more. She's.. I don't think she's ever seen us together, actually.
"You've never seen us together?!" I yell incredulously. She smiles, evilly and innocently at the same time.
"I like to use my imagination. I can picture you two holding hands, and all "Oh I love you" "No, I love you more." Oh o-" My brow twitched at her baby voices she used, her reacting.. something between Ash and me. Which, I mean, maybe there was, I guess. Or maybe it's just me liking him and him not having anything better to do.
I forced a playful smile, nudging her some. I shook my head at her.
"So not what happens." She laughs out some, causing me to nod my head sarcastically at her as she continues laughing for a brief moment. She giggles at the end, nudging my shoulder after calming down.
"Thanks for distracting me from all this Cassie stuff. Your right though, we should hang out more. I feel like I haven't seen you much lately." She's not wrong. Since the school dance, where I just left on her, I haven't really seen her in person. We text, but usually I'm at the store, or the boy's house. I haven't gone home. That place makes me sick.. Sick to my stomach.
My mother followed us.. More importantly my father led the trail. He led her right to us.. and wanted us to forgive her. To help her. No.. No, fuck that. Fuck her. Screw my dad for bringing her there. Screw Jules, for, for.. I don't know. For, using the fucking stupid app! For fucking Cal fucking Jacobs. For running away. For pissing Nate off- No! That's on him. Don't blame Jules, because Nate's a bitch.. She did fuck his daddy though.. And he fucked a minor, cheated on his wife, and clearly hid shit from his family..
Soo..
"Yeah, maybe we can hang out this weekend or something?" I forced a smile, coming back to reality as I noticed I was making Lexi wait. She smiled brightly, nodding.
"Yeah, definitely. I'm gonna go sit, if you wanna join me." I forced another small smile, gesturing to my cup.
"I uh.. I think I'm gonna get a refill first or something. Besides, aren't you supposed to be finding someone?" I joked, reminding her of my taunting earlier. She gave a sarcastic half smile, waving it off.
"Yeah, yeah. Don't forget to text me if you see Cassie though." I nod, watching her make her way through the crowd towards the couch in the back. I frowned shortly after she left, looking down at my cup. My negative thoughts returning and coming back stronger as I'm left alone in the middle of the sea of people.
I threw my cup back, chugging the last of my drink quickly. The urge to keep filling my cup hitting me stronger. I faltered in my step for a moment, a horrible thought coming to mind. Me, reminding myself of my mother's alcoholism. Making me just hate myself more as I felt my stomach drop at the comparison.
I shook the thoughts away angrily as I made my way for the kitchen. She was a bad person even if she wasn't a fucking drunk. She said and done plenty when she wasn't shit face, before she even started drinking as heavy as she did
I'm nothing like her. I'm my own fuck up.