Ajeeb andhera hai teri mehfil mein faraz,
Kisi nay dil bi jalaya tou roshni na hovi.
*****
“Hadia, Can I ask you something”, Amma Jan said softly.
“Amma Jan, for sure”, Hadia replied.
Amma Jan cleared her throat, “Are you awake when Zain comes home?”.
“Yes”,
Azra baji informed Amma Jan that Zain has not been eating dinner constantly after seeing the leftovers every morning. Since then Amma Jan was worried sick for him. She had an inkling Zain was coming late from work but ignoring his meals was way too much.
“Has he been eating outside?”, Amma Jan expressed her intentions.
“No”, Hadia shook her head. She realized what Amma Jan was aiming to ask her. Amma Jan took a deep breath and sank into thoughts.
Watching Amma Jan's quiet Hadia explained, “I ask him every night but he says he doesn’t want to eat and then sleeps empty stomach”.
“Hadia”, Amma Jan took Hadia’s hand in her. “I know it’s too early to say this but let me tell you one thing dear, you and Zain both are a team. It is something you work on every day. You act together to bridge the gaps and make things work even if sometimes it means one has to initiate it. Are you getting what I’m trying to say?”
“Yes”, Hadia nodded.
“All you have to try. In’Sha’Allah with time you will find solace, understanding, and love with each other”, Amma Jan gave an assuring squeeze to Hadia’s hand.
“I’ll try”,
“God bless you”, Amma Jan smiled.
“Madam you can’t enter the house like this”, a masculine voice came from the foyer. Hadia and Amma Jan turned their heads.
“The hell with your permission”, How many times do I need to tell you I am a family member. Can you please listen for once”, Meesha replied in an annoyed tone. Her gaze settled on Amma Jan “Amma Jan you tell him to stop interrogating me”.
“Let her come inside, she is a family”, Amma Jan called out. The security guard nodded in approval and walked out of the house. Meesha huffed and strode inside.
“It’s the new staff. Don’t mind them Meesha”, Meesha engulfed Amma Jan in a hug. “Long time no see, when did you come back?”, Amma Jan asked.
Meesha stepped back, “Last night”, Meesha replied holding Amma jan’s hands in her hands. She whirled her head to the side and smiled, “Oh my my, and this must be the youngest Mrs. Durrani”.
Hadia’s eyes flickered between Amma Jan and Meesha.
“Yes, Hadia is Zain’s wife”, Amma Jan replied. “Hadia, meet Meesha, our granddaughter’s friend. Remember the other day I was telling you about them”.
“Yeah”, Hadia bobbled her head in understanding she turned her head towards Meesha and greeted her.
“I owe you a wedding gift”, Meesha said.
“It’s really not needed”, Hadia replied politely.
“It surely is”, Meesha sat down on the sofa. “By the way where is Zain, I wanted to have a word with him. How did he get married without giving me time to come back”.
“He is still at work”, Amma Jan replied.
“At work?”, Meesha frowned. “It’s already afternoon”.
“He comes back late”, Amma Jan said. “Every night”, she added with a sigh.
“Umm how much late to be exact”, This time Meesha looked at Hadia for an answer.
“Past 10 or sometimes after 11 o’clock”, Hadia replied.
“Hmm”, Meesha and Amma Jan exchanged a worried look.
“Where are Agha Jan and Ismail uncle?”, Meesha changed the topic.
“They are gone out for the walk. Hadia can you please inform them about Meesha’s arrival”, Amma Jan said to Hadia.
“Sure”, Hadia stood up and left to inform them.
“Thank God, Meesha you are here”, Amma Jan said. “I wanted to discuss something with you”, she added.
Amma Jan knew it was only Meesha who could assist her in this situation. She explained everything that has been distressing her. Meesha carefully paid attention to her.
“Oh-kay”, Meesha mumbled. An idea sprang in her mind “They are going out tonight”.
Amma Jan gave her a quizzical look, “How?”.
“Amma Jan you have to call Zain and tell him that he will have to take Hadia out tonight. If he denies you have to be stern”, Meesha said. “And I can help Hadia to get ready”, she winked and then laughed mischievously.
“That’s a good idea Meesha”, Amma Jan was convinced.
*****
Zain walked inside Huzaifa’s cabin. Huzaifa stood up and introduced Zain.
“Mr. Alamgeer Gillani meet Zain Ahmed Durrani”, Huzaifa said to the man sitting in front of him.
Alamgeer got up to face Zain. He was tall, with an average-built body, and wore a mustache on his clean shaved face. His nose was Roman, and his honey-colored eyes shone against his dusky skin color. He looked around Huzaifa’s age.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Alamgeer”, Zain gave him a tightlipped smile and forwarded his hand.
“Likewise, looking forward to working with you”, Alamgeer replied and shook hand with Zain, and turned his head towards Huzaifa. “I believe Huzaifa, Zain is your younger brother”.
“Yes, he joined the company a few months ago. But his dedication and commitment towards the work are remarkable”, Huzaifa said proudly.
“Good to hear that Huzaifa”, Alamgeer replied.
“Gentlemen let’s take a seat”, Huzaifa settled down on the swivel chair. Zain and Alamgeer also took their respective seats.
Huzaifa looked at Zain and said, “As we talked earlier about this project, I want you to facilitate Mr. Alamgeer”.
“Come on Huzaifa, We have both known each other since the beginning of our careers. Let’s dispense the formalities, shall we?”, Alamgeer said.
“If you are hell-bent to keep the professionalism aside then for sure Alamgeer”, Huzaifa laughed.
They further discussed the project to take Zain on board.
Zain’s cell phone rang and he took it out of his pocket. Amma Jan was calling him.
“Excuse me gentlemen”, he said, Huzaifa nodded and Zain walked out of Huzaifa’s cabin. He swiped the green icon on the screen and pressed the cell phone against his ear,
“Assalam u Alikum Amma Jan, is everything alright?”, he asked in concern.
“Walikum Assalam”, Amma Jan replied. “I was thinking you should take Hadia out tonight. Come home early tonight. Okay?”
“Amma Jan I’m afraid it won’t be possible, I’ve some work to look out for. Maybe another day”, he replied.
“I am not taking a no as an answer Zain. How will it work if you don’t give time to your wife? The poor girl has been bounded in the house”, Amma Jan said. “I’ll talk to Huzaifa if that’s what's troubling you”.
“No, that’s not an issue Amma Jan”,
“Then what is it?”,
Zain heaved a sigh, “I’ll be on time”,
“Good".
*****
“Hadia”, Amma Jan called her to get her attention.
“Yes Amma Jan”, Hadia looked at her.
“Hadia, Zain is taking you out tonight. He will come home early to pick you up”, Amma Jan made it sound like it was Zain’s idea. “Get ready for that”.
“Hmm”, Hadia hummed with a hint of reluctance.
“I can help you to get ready”, Meesha offered.
“That will be wonderful”, Amma Jan stated. “Right Hadia?”.
“Yeah”,
“Lead the way Hadia”, Meesha stood up. Her eyes twinkled with something Hadia could not decipher. Both of them went upstairs.
Hadia picked out a casual khaddar dress for herself. Meesha frowned.
“Can I choose something for you? Of course, if you don’t mind”, Meesha proposed.
Hadia gazed at the dress in her hand for a few seconds and then hung it back in the cupboard. She stepped aside to give space to Meesha. Meesha walked forward. Riffling through the various sections of the clothes her attention went towards an emerald-colored velvet dress.
“Got you”, Meesha mumbled with a smile and took out that dress.
“What do you think about this one”, Meesha said displaying an emerald-colored velvet dress to Hadia. The boat-cut neckline and hem of the sleeves were intricately lined up with a narrow line of pearls and stones along with small pearl flowers sprinkled all over the shirt.
“Isn’t it a bit heavy”, Hadia asked reluctantly.
“Not at all”, Meesha shrugged. “Besides, you are going out for the first time with your husband”, she handed the dress to Hadia.
“Do you go in front of Zain like this too”, Before Hadia could move, Meesha voiced her thoughts. “I mean you cover yourself with a dupatta in front of him too”, Meesha asked without a trace of reluctance in her voice.
“Umm”, Hadia was taken aback by her question. “I do”.
“Oh”, Meesha’s lips formed an O. “Get changed we don’t have much time”, she stated.
Hadia sauntered inside the washroom.
“Poor.Durrani.Gentlemen”, Meesha shook her head and went towards the dresser. By the time she gathered the makeup products Hadia was already beside her. Hadia was not ready to put on makeup but Meesha made her sit on the chair without giving her an option to deny.
“Don’t you like getting dressed up”, Meesha asked while jotting down the foundation on Hadia’s face.
“Washout the kajal from your eyes and tie your hair”, Rukhsana begum’s words banged in her mind.
"I used to”, Hadia replied.
After that Meesha guided her about each step and use of the products. Once she was done with makeup she combed Hadia’s hair into a side-swept hairstyle.
“You know what Hadia, I never used to like getting dressed up and putting on makeup after marriage. It used to annoy me but now when I look back, after years of marriage and having kids, those were days I have enjoyed a lot. That was the phase when I had invested time in myself. After having kids, you barely get time to pamper yourself. This phase has its own charm”.
“You can see yourself now”, Meesha stepped back.
Hadia got up to look at her reflection in the mirror. The makeup was minimalistic and more in a peachy tone, perfectly complimenting her wheatish skin tone. She looked herself, but a better self.
“Thanks for all this”, Hadia said.
" It's nothing",
Hadia held her organza dupatta to drape it around herself.
“Aa..aah”, Meesha quickly held the dupatta leaving a perplexed Hadia. “It’s highly admirable that you cover yourself with a dupatta but don’t you think so Zain could be an exception”, Meesha took the dupatta from Hadia’s hand and adjusted it on Hadia's shoulder. “Zain is your husband”, Meesha’s voice was laced with tenderness.
“Hmm” Hadia nodded.
“Girl you are looking gorgeous”, Meesha complimented her.
“Thank you”, Hadia gave her a tight-lipped smile.
“Alright, I’ve got to go”, Meesha said.
“You could have stayed for the dinner with Amma Jan”, Hadia said.
“Another time, I’ve left kids at home”, Meesha replied.
“Allah hafiz”, Hadia said.
“Allah hafiz”, Meesha gave her a quick side hug. Just before she was about to cross the threshold of the room, she turned her head back and winked,
“God help Zain today”. Her face was brimming with mischief. Letting out a playful chuckle she left leaving a paled Hadia behind.
Hadia quickly turned towards the mirror. Her eyes roamed over her reflection.
This is all for him indeed.
“He knows about my past. Tabre-”, she closed her eyes. Fear of being judged by Zain rose in her heart.
She had never thought she will be getting ready for someone.
“He sympathizes with you, but for how long?”, her thoughts mocked her.
Her heart sank as something stirred in her.
“I’ve ruined his life”, she mumbled. Remorse filled in her heart thinking about Zain. "He didn’t deserve me and this life. He is stuck”.
She inhaled a deep breath and opened her eyes. She wanted to make things work but her biggest curse was her own memory.
*****
Her silver-colored steel bangles clanked against each other, making a sound. Listening to the sound he lazily opened his eyes. His eyes fell on the glass of water stretched in front of him. He looked up, his black orbs met with the brown kajal-filled eyes.
She averted her eyes and whispered,
“Water”.
Zain was sprawled on the couch.
“Thanks”, he replied in a hushed tone, taking the glass from her hand. She wasn’t covering herself with a dupatta instead it was hanging on her left shoulder. Her black straight hair fell down her shoulders to nearly her hip. Feeling his eyes on her, she nervously tucked the loose tendril behind her ear. She was looking everywhere but him.
She looked different.
Seizing his gaze away from her, he brought the glass near his mouth and drank the water in three breaths.
He cleared his throat and stood up,
“I’ll get changed first”.
She nodded. Moving her hand forward, she took the empty glass from him. He went towards the closet, picked out clothes, and went inside the washroom. She placed the glass on the table and sat down on the bed to wait for him.
After a while, the washroom door clicked open and Zain appeared, clad in a high-neck maroon woolen pullover and black jeans. He slipped his feet into the white trainers. His curly caeser hair slightly fell on his forehead as he bent down to tie the laces giving him a more boyish look.
“If you are prepared we can take off already”, he said strapping the wristwatch around his wrist.
“Yeah”, she stood up, spreading her dupatta she covered her head with it. She took a Pashmina shawl and loosely draped it around herself as wearing a sweater over a velvet dress was not a reasonable idea.
He strode towards the door, and she followed him. He suddenly stopped, remembering he didn’t pick up the keys. He turned around, she paused too. His gaze fell on her.
“I want to go like this”, she said pointing at her dupatta.
“Sure, whatever you prefer”, he nodded in approval. He stepped towards the table and picked up his wallet and car keys. “Let’s go”, he said. They walked out of the room and descended the stairs.
“You both look lovely together”, Amma Jan said as Hadia and Zain stood in front of her.
Zain lowered his head, Amma Jan kissed his head, " May Almighty bless you with 100x times the happiness you have brought in our lives".
“Why don’t we all go together”, Hadia suggested. She was feeling awful for leaving them home.
“Night outs are not something for us oldies. We have to take medicine and sleep early”, Amma Jan said. “Enjoy yourself”.
Biding adieu to the family they walked out of the house. Zain pressed the button on the key to unlock the car, and the indicators of the car blinked along with a beep sound. Hadia was about to open the back passenger door for herself, Zain opened the front passenger seat door for her. Understanding his gesture she left the door handle and stepped forward. She settled down on the seat, he closed the door and ambulated towards the driver’s seat. Once he settled down on the seat, he buckled the seat belt, put the key in the ignition he start the car up. She was looking out of the window by her side.
“You need to fasten your seat belt”, he said as he drove out of the main gate of the house.
“Umm yeah”, she mumbled and her eyes traveled towards the belt. She held the seat belt and crossed it over her body. She was struggling to lock the seat belt catching his attention, he removed his left hand from the steering wheel. In one swift move, he fastened the seat belt and again placed his hand back on the steering wheel. His eyes were fixed on the road.
Hadia bit her lower lip and again whirled her head to look out of the window. The passing roadside lights fell on her on and off. The city had its own charm. She had gone out a couple of times with Zain’s mom during wedding shopping but still, the surroundings felt unfamiliar. Believing she might have not paid much attention to it before.
After a few minutes of driving, he parked the car in front of a restaurant and turned toward her. Before unlocking his own seat belt he unfastened her seat belt first.
Grabbing the key in his hand Zain stepped out of the car. Hadia adjusted the dupatta, unlocked the door, and stepped out too. They walked inside the restaurant. Zain took her to the area where only a few other tables were booked.
Zain handed her the menu card.
She scanned the menu card. She had never even heard of most of the items that were written there.
“Whatever you prefer”, she said placing back the menu card on the table. She knew she could never decide out of a long list of mostly unfamiliar dishes. “I don’t understand this”.
“Alright”, without sparing a glance at the menu card he called the waiter and placed his order. “You will have to decide the dessert then”.
“Okay”, she replied.
They sat in silence, waiting for the food to arrive. None of them know what to say. The soft music playing in the background was the only thing that helped to camouflage the awkward silence between them. After waiting for a while, the waiter came back and served them beef steak and mashed potato with mushroom sauce, a bowl of rice, and salad. That was one of Zain's favorites from this particular restaurant.
He held the steak with a fork, cut it with the knife, dipped it in the mushroom sauce, and ate it.
“If you don’t like it we can order something else”, he looked up from the plate in her direction and paused. She wasn’t eating. Her eyes fluttered between the different types and sizes of spoons, forks, and knives in front of her.
She had never used forks and knives before.
She felt embarrassed about that. A wave of understanding hit him, for a moment he regretted eating before her. Chewing the steak slowly, he put down the fork and knife on the table. Her gaze followed his hands.
He tore a piece of steak with his hand, dipped it in the mushroom sauce a put it in his mouth. He lifted his eyes and asked, “Do you want something else?”.
“No”, she shook her head.
“It will get cold”, he signaled at the food.
Taking a piece of buttery-textured steak, pairing it with a mushroom sauce she took it inside her mouth. She slowly chewed, the steak was tender and juicy with a right burst of flavors.
“It’s delicious”, she stated.
“It’s their specialty. I bet you would never find a steak like this in the whole city”, he replied.
They didn’t speak anything further. Once they finished eating she remembered she has to order the dessert. Looking at the menu card her eyes stilled on one certain part.
Ice-creams.
“Have you decided on the dessert yet?”, he asked cleaning his mouth with the napkin.
“Umm yeah”, she looked up. “How does Ice Cream sound?”, she asked.
He was baffled by her words. That was what he didn’t expect at all. Ice cream, that too in winters was always out of question for him.
“Cool”, he said and called the waiter. He asked the waiter to pack a takeaway for the family.
“For Ice cream, we can go somewhere else”, he said and stood up. She stood up too. They went towards the counter, paid the bill, and picked up the takeaway.
*****
“You didn’t buy for yourself?”, she asked when he brought ice cream only for her from an ice cream parlor.
“No”, he reversed the car to get out of the parking.
A look of confusion crossed her face, visible in the shift of her eyebrows. “We can share”, she proposed.
He turned his head towards her, “You can have yours”, shifting his gaze back towards the desolated road he added.
“You should have ordered something else. Ice Cream wasn’t that important”, she felt bad for him.
“It’s alright”, he replied.
“Hmm”, she hummed and opened the lid of the regular-sized double cookie crumble ice cream. She quietly ate the ice cream. By the time they reached home, she was done with the ice cream. Parking the car on the car porch they entered the dimly lit house.
“I’ll keep it in the refrigerator”, she said in a hushed tone signaling at the takeaway in his hand.
He nodded and handed her the containers. She went inside the kitchen whereas he waited for her in the living area. His gaze roamed around and he remembered something. Moving forward he picked up a square floor cushion. Hearing her footsteps he whirled around.
“It’s done”, she said.
He nodded and they went upstairs. He placed the floor cushion right beside the side of the couch, where she usually sits, dusting off his hands he walked towards the washroom. Standing at the threshold of the room, she looked at the floor cushion, and then her eyes automatically shifted to his back until he faded away into the washroom.
Why does he care?
*****
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