A/N Happy National Ranboo day, new book? Yeah should be updated soon, ya never know lmao <3
Sorry this chapter took a while to get out /gen for the reason that we all know why. I'll still be writing, but sometimes it'll be hard for me to start. I apologize <3
YOOOO 300K I'M GETTING THAT CLOUT, I'M GETTING ALLLLL OF THAT CLOUT, THANK YOU <3
TW: Mentions of the foster care system, shitty foster parents, swearing as per usual, stampedes, v3rbal abus3 from the shitty foster parents, mentions of phys1cal abus3 from shitty foster care people. also bad thoughts to self, simply be careful while reading as you do please. this entire chapter is basically just sobbing and whatnot, LORE CHAPTER
stay safe petals >:D
Your POV -.- & Flashback
You crouched down, hiding in the cupboard underneath the stairs.
It was ironic, how the cupboard was only able to fit you and you only, nobody else in this foster family being able to fit here, no one being able to find you here.
Here you were finally safe. From the yelling, screaming, and the disappointed looks.
You didn't mean to break the glass. You were thirsty, because they hadn't given you water since yesterday.
You were just thirsty...And you still were.
The churning in your stomach was unignorable, constantly making you want to throw up.
Eating wasn't an option, as the cupboard only had stored away toys and tools, with nothing to eat and nothing to drink.
Hungry, thirsty, and tired, you sat in that cupboard, trying to drown out the screaming with your own thoughts.
With the hope that you'd get out of this house.
Even now, you knew that you weren't going to find a family soon. Even now, you knew that it was going to be a constant change of houses, surviving only on what you could.
Even now, you clung onto those memories of your brother, his fluffy hair that he always allowed you to play with, the way that the two of you would play.
Those memories were even starting to fade though. You didn't want them to let them go, but for some reason it got harder and harder to remember his face. His kind eyes. Everything that you cared about, was all slowly slipping away from you.
It scared you.
Tears pricked in your eyes, and you heard something crash.
You flinched.
There was more yelling.
More yelling from the new people who were apparently your parents, who had seemed so nice at first, were disappointed in you. How they hated you. How they thought you were a grubby, selfish, child.
Too excited. Too happy.
Constantly too much of this, too little of this.
It had only been one night.
A singular night.
They had gotten you yesterday.
It was the morning now.
You knew you weren't going to survive here. You could tell already, that you weren't going to live here. The nice lady who chose these people for you would have to choose others, once she found you again.
And as you sat there, grabbing at the memories that you had, trying your hardest to drown out the screaming and yelling, the sounds of crashing, you cried.
But you planned.
This cupboard, dirty and sweet smelling, was the first place you had ever hidden from "parents". This cupboard was the first place you had planned to run away from these "nice people".
This cupboard was the beginning, the beginning of the yelling and manipulating adults. The screaming and tearing adults. The bullying and hitting of your apparent siblings. The cruel pranks that happened to you, whether it be setting a piece of your hair on fire or throwing you into a pond at night, this was the start.
Hurting. Pain. Anger. Fear. Hatred. Tears.
It was the start.
Your POV -.- & End of Flashback
You saw blackness as you awoke from your sleep.
No.. no,no,no.
That couldn't be it.
That couldn't be the memory.
You hadn't had it for so long, that it simply couldn't be it.
There had to be some weird twist, showing that it was all... fake.
You knew it was real though.
In the end, you knew it was real.
That it was something... something that had truly happened.
Where it all started, as you recalled.
You shifted, shutting your eyes tighter until you saw spots dancing.
White ones, bright, gesturing for you to follow them and dance.
But you couldn't, and you knew that. You knew that you couldn't follow them.
That you couldn't follow their light filled bodies and their happiness, that you couldn't follow their fun and their games. Their endless carelessness. Their ignorance to the darkness around them.
You wished you could.
But it wouldn't be fair though, to those who you had met so long ago yet it felt like yesterday.
It wouldn't be fair, to the brother you still had yet to meet, to the friends you had just met, to the father you had finally found.
It wouldn't be fair.
Everything was so fun, so happy, so much like what you had been dreaming of.
And yet you had to ruin it, with your concern and memories, past things that you couldn't seem to get over. That you couldn't seem to... to stop.
They haunted you, as you haunted them.
Watching your past self run from house to house, sobbing, crying. Screaming at the world and all that was in it.
You hated it, you hated it with all of your whole...
Until you found them.
A tired father, going from job to job, having moved many places, having accidentally found this house of tired, scared kids- and somehow making them whole again, who are always coming home to a loving family, one that he loved too.
A bright haired son, hair that didn't reflect his own self at all, who made comments that could make you laugh and smile, so effortlessly too, determination strong as steel, someone who no one could ever truly hate.
A circle glassed son, with a guitar strapped on his back and the voice of a siren, the voice of beauty and grace , one who laughed with his older brother, who smiled at his younger, who was a backbone in the entire family.
A bright eyed, bright haired, bright son. The youngest, who constantly swore and yelled, having a much different humor than all of the others... they were all so different and yet fit together so perfectly, this young boy being the light of the family.
They were such an odd quartet.
Then again, who ever said that life wasn't odd?
Your eyes relaxed slightly, as the memories of this family that you had joined and that had grown slowly flowed across your mind, calming yourself from the horror of the memory that had uncovered itself.
You had been trying, for so, so long to grasp at anything, to grasp at anything close to find out who this mystery was, to figure out what this stupid mystery had been, to find the key to this answer.
Everything was so tantalizingly close and yet so far away, you couldn't reach any of it, you couldn't get to any of it.
A small sob broke through your chest, and you heard rustling.
Carefully putting your hand over your mouth, you dared it not be true, you dared to breathe, you dared to think it at all.
Was that all perhaps a dream? A wonderous, torturing taste of what it felt like to be loved?
The peculiar family, the phenomenal times that came with it, was it all just fake, not real, never real?
Were you about to be screamed at to be awake, about to be yelled at to go get breakfast?
The rustling came again, and this time you could tell that someone had stood up from where they had slept.
Someone crouched down next to you, and your eyes, still shut tight, hand over your mouth, had no idea who it was.
A hand touched your side, two hands now.
You were so, so sure that it'd turn into hits, into pain.
You held your breath, tears forming in your closed eyes.
"Y/N, are you alright?" Ranboo asked carefully, voice softer than ever before.
And then you sobbed.
You sobbed loudly and hard, chest heaving with each breath that you took, making it hard to breathe.
You turned over to Ranboo, clutching at him, opening your eyes, looking at his face through your tears.
He was real, he was real.
This was real.
His multicolored eyes and their flecks were staring down at you with concern, concern and care, no intent to hurt, to hate, no intent to do anything wrong.
And you sobbed, and he hugged you, clutched you as tightly as you clutched him.
He patted your back, helping you out, making sure you were alright, softly murmuring words that you couldn't hear, that sounded so perfect in that moment more than anything.
Ranboo was there, and it was real.
It was okay.
"It's okay, hey, hey, it's okay, I'm here now, yeah? I'm gonna make sure that nobody, nobody ever is going to lay a finger on you again, alright?" You pulled away, grinning at him with tears streaking your face as well as streaming down it.
You nodded.
He laughed, lightly, his smile brighter than all the stars combined.
"This is- This is real, right?" Your voice was shaky, barely above a whisper, scared and terrified like a small kid afraid of the dark.
He nodded, and his eyes only filled with more concern for you as he spoke.
"It's real. This is real." You nodded, mimicking what he had just done.
It was real, you told yourself, over, and over again.
It was real.
"Wanna tell me about it, or would you rather not?" Ranboo asked carefully, adjusting yourself to be better.
You took a look around at your surroundings, at the sun peeking through the window.
It couldn't be later than 5, you decided.
"I don't... want to talk about it, but I'll tell you about it either way." You responded slowly, nodding once again.
You were in the attic, the fairy lights still on a light shade of purple, the blankets strewn across the floor with several layers of padding, making the entire thing nice and cozy. It was still dark in here, minus the sun glowing down through the window.
Ranboo and you both settled back down in one of the corners, where there were bean bags and blankets, covering each one of you, a small bag of chips in his hand.
Probably wasn't the healthiest, but it was too early to go down and bother Phil to make breakfast, or maybe Techno.
"It was... a dream. Of course." You started slowly, voice shaking. "But it was also a memory, a memory that I couldn't accept was real until now. I know it's real, it's just that it's been in this haze, like everything to do with almost all of my life."
Ranboo nodded, crunching on the chips.
They were Lays, the classic type because they were the saltiest and ultimately the best... or at least that's what Ranboo constantly told you. Whether you believed him or not, was a whole different story.
"And it's just- It's just odd." You leaned in more to Ranboo, looking outside at the world through the small window.
It was perfect.
You sometimes wished that you could see the world through a window, instead of having to live in it. How much you would get wrong, how much you would assume, how little you would know.
It would be a blessing, not knowing.
That's how kids were supposed to grow up... looking through a window, protected by their parents. By their friends, by their world.
It was their small world until they opened the window, and crawled out, curiosity striking the best of them. Then they would see the world for what it truly was, learning.
But at least they got the beginning. At least they got the beginning, with the sunrise through the window. With the beauty outside of the window.
Or at least they thought, it was beauty.
It was a lie though, a facade . Just as all things were, just as the world was.
"Ranboo, I haven't had memories that far back for so long. The last time I can imagine I had them was... was when I was living them, or before I had shut everything down and forced myself to forget everything, to protect myself from the pains of my past."
Ranboo's head turned down to look at you, and you shifted around, looking up at him.
Tears were brimming your eyes again.
"I didn't know that that happened yesterday, and now I know, now I know that it happened, that that's a memory, that it happened, that... Ranboo,"
You were scared to say the next words, to wish them into existence, to share your fear.
But you had to, because now you had someone who cared.
You had many, people who cared.
"What if I'm remembering?"
You were shaking, slightly, and Ranboo pulled you closer to himself.
You looked out the window again.
The sun was rising.
It was a new day.
"And what if?" Ranboo said, a smile painted in his voice. "You have people who care, really care, about you now. We'll be here with you as you remember, and we'll help you through it."
"I think you're ready, for the memories. You're ready."
(Editor's note: it would have been really funny if it just got revealed this whole book was a dream and then it just ended there forever... anyway-)
Bonus :o:
After you had woken up, bothered Techno and Phil to make breakfast, after you had spoken with Ranboo, after you had made a plan, after you had realized that maybe... just maybe.
Maybe you were ready to dive into your past.
All of you had been eating breakfast, normally, Tommy and Wilbur arguing about if waffles or pancakes were better, Techno shaking his head and ultimately saying that crêpes were better, and after Tubbo had successfully made a sculpture of a bee out of a comically large ice cube, you had all finished breakfast.
Phil was washing the dishes and drinking some tea, when the beautiful chime of childhood came through the neighborhood.
The sound of an ice cream truck.
Everyone, except for Phil, dropped what they were doing.
Which meant that Ranboo almost dropped a brick on your foot but it's fineeee-
(What he was using that brick for you'll never know..)
You eyed Techno, nodding.
Tommy cackled, smiling.
"Initiate Ice Cream Truck Simulator 985." Tubbo called out, as loud as a speaker in a school hallway.
All of you ran outside, some hiding behind bushes, others getting ready to distract the truck driver.
It was time to get some free treats.
A/N WOO! LORE CHAPTER, DEAR FUCKING GOD WILBUR'S LAST LORE STREAM, RANBOO'S VIDEO ON YOUTUBE, QUACKITY'S LORE STREAM, AIMSEY'S SUBATHON- SO MUCH IS HAPPENING ALREADY THIS MONTH LMAO
Thank you Technoblade for all that you've done. <3
GODDAMN, SO MUCH IS HAPPENING A;LSKJDG;LASKDJG;AKLSDG W O AH ANYWAYS ENJOY THAT LORE CHAPTER, I'M GONNA GO WAIT FOR MY EDITOR TO GO THROUGH SHIT AND EDIT, YA H O O
Thank you guys sm for sticking around though, it means more than the world to me. And, thank you to the new readers. Have fun readin' through this mess <3
>:D <3
Word Count: Idk man it's glitched out and says 34 so 34 words it is (alr its actually 2360)