*A/N: this chapter is dedicated to twisted_transistor who got 'drugstore perfume' correct in the challenge in Chapter 19
Chapter 28
Gerard's P.O.V
4 weeks later...
I read that letter over and over again. This. I had done this for him, for us and our future.
I was stupid enough to hunk that if I could see I would finally be able to know who I was in love with, maybe one day I would see him marry me and be able to see a child we'd have together. I was just an idiot, I had fallen for the act time and time again where I put myself out there and got hurt. But I wasn't hurt, apart from the throbbing in my head and pain where my eyes are swollen, I was pissed.
The bandages had been taken off today and I got my first view of the world.
It was crap. The world was blurry, undefined and smudged, the light made me flinch back in fear and the colours of the groggy hospital room.
The highlight was finally seeing my brother in full, before they had been light responsive silhouette s, now I could see his blonde hair long on the top and short on the sides, the way his square framed glasses were no longer nerdy but made him seem grown up.
He had tears in his eyes but I let out an angry growl. "Take me home." I snarl.
This being that I knew I would go home to read that stupid letter one more time for myself, see his reminders around the house in the flesh and see myself in the mirror.
Uneasy on my feet I leavered my way through the apartment with Mikey hot on my tail.
"Gee calm down please! you'll make yourself sick! Just stop for a minute. Tell me. Tell me what you see." He insisted and grabbed at my arm.
"I see a reject. I see someone who wasn't good enough, wasn't loved enough, because if he really did love me he wouldn't have made an excuse to leave. I see again but I don't want to." my eyes brim with tears, they burn and sting, my racoon bruises tender to the touch of the salty droplet.
"I see my little brother all grown up." I sigh and let him guide me to the living room where we sit and I just look. I watch and observe the way the room is dark, the way the light slithers in throuh the window and makes a rainbow pattern across the floor.
It isn't till my eyes catch something that makes my blood boil. Bile rises up my throat. I see Pansy in the corner of the room and a rage overflows within me- I charge at it dropping the piece of shits clothes and grabbing the white guitar off of its stand. Then the fucking fun comes.
I raise it up above my head with all my strength, I lift it high by the neck and with a pained grunt I bring it down with as much force as I can- SMASH! CLANG! I watch as the strings snap and the wood breaks. Then I continue to throw it, kick it, and jump on it- till it's shards and shards of metal and wood- just like my heart now frozen and cold it crumbles and breaks.
"WHAT THE F*CK GERARD! WHAT THE F*CK! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR F*CKING MIND!" I hear Mikey shouting over the pounding in my ears as I sigh once the guitar has totally decayed, zoning back in on reality, I see him open mouthed and wide eyed.
Then my body caves in, my eyes close and I just let him hug me as I clutch onto the only person who stayed. These eyes are no longer for him... They are for me.