Chapter 39
My first realization: it was morning. That was why I was so quick to sit straight up from where I was laying against him. Second realization: Luke woke at my abrupt movement and after a second, his eyes grew just as wide as mine were. Third realization: someone was sitting in the chair next to the couch and we were not alone.
I inhaled sharply and jumped in surprise and disbelief at what happened. That I fell asleep against Luke last night. And now, someone caught us. Luke was just frozen, watching me with wide eyes before his eyes settled on the person sitting in the chair, watching us. Then came his entertaining reaction.
"Holy shit!" Luke hissed as he sat up beside me as fast as he could, looking very much awake now. A mass of realization seemed to come to him as well. This wasn't the first time we fell asleep together. He was freaking out though because it was the first we both woke up together and in each others arms. Not to mention this was being witnessed, which I think made him feel even worse. His voice was defending and panicked slightly. "Oh god," he murmured. "Dad, what the hell are you doing here?"
His dad, Mike, only smirked and let out a loud chuckle. "Son, I think I should be the one asking you questions, don't you think?" Though Mike was clearly amused, the depth in his brown eyes showed he was a little concerned over what he was seeing right now. And could you blame him? It looked worse than what actually happened.
"Aw shit!" I heard another voice hiss from behind Mike. Glancing towards the source, I saw Francis come out from the kitchen, a sandwich he made in his hand, and a scowl on his face. "I missed it. I wanted to see you're reactions when you woke up." His scowl faded when he paused and after looking between the two of us, he managed his large smirk. "Anyways, good morning to you two love birds."
Unbelievable. They were waiting for us to wake up just to see us freak out over seeing they were here and witnessing our mistake of falling asleep together. Mike turned around to look at his youngest son. "Hey, I warned you that if you made a sandwich, you were risking missing it. It's your own fault," he said before turning back around, settling in the chair as he faced us again.
"Whatever, dad." Francis walked towards us as Luke and I just sat there, stunned and unsure what to think. Francis came around the coffee table and plopped down beside me on the couch. Sitting close against my side, he glanced over to me. He gave me his famous smirk again before holding up his sandwich to me. "Want a bite?"
Ignoring his words, I stared at him, unsure of what to say about all of this. You can tell how stunned I still was to not acknowledge his offering. Luke spoke up. "Alright guys, listen," he said again in a defending voice, clearly the most tense one of us here. You could tell he felt beyond shitty at what happened. "We fell asleep last night together on accident. So don't start assuming anything," Luke said in a stern voice at both his dad and Francis.
Mike nodded, understanding. He also looked relieved. "I figured as much. Still funny as all hell to walk in and see though."
"Damn," Francis muttered. "I was hoping for something juicier than that. I'm sure you were too," he said under his breath to me, making me scowl and elbow him. He chuckled as he took a bite of his sandwich in his hand.
Looking back up to where Luke was sitting beside me, he wouldn't meet my eyes. In fact, I felt that air between us again that I was hoping dissolved. "This is the only time that I'm thankful my family is nosy. Otherwise, you wouldn't have entered my house and Clare would have found us still sleeping down here, I'm sure. She wouldn't believe me or she would take it the wrong way. Which, after last night, is the last thing I need," he muttered, running a hand through his snarly hair from sleep. His eyes rested on the coffee table, lost in his thoughts. He looked... different today. In the past couple days, he's been acting strange around me. More distant and guilty but I figured last night fixed that. Of course, we just had to fall asleep together (which I really don't want to complain about). Now, there was more. A realization I think. He was beyond stressed as it is but for some reason, us falling asleep together seemed to have really affected him. My guess would be out of guilt, of course. But Clare didn't see. And if it was an accident and he had innocent feelings for me, then why should he be guilty to this degree? I honestly wasn't sure what it was since he was right and it was much better that Mike and Francis found us like this rather than Clare. She cries over the smallest things. Imagine what she would have done if she came downstairs and found me sleeping on the couch with her husband. She would be so mad and upset... then again, maybe it would have been for the best if she found us.
"How did you get in?" He asked them. "The door was locked."
"What, and you don't think we have a key?" Mike asked him, his amused expression back. "Your mom had another one made when you moved in."
Luke sighed, answering his dad with an annoyed expression before he stretched his back, rubbing the back of his neck. With Francis sitting next to me... he was becoming a distraction. Though he had a strong presence like Luke, it was mainly his sandwich. Turning to him, I took his sandwich and started eating it myself, smirking back to him, trying not to care anymore about falling asleep with him. Because honestly, I could ponder over his strange reaction for a while and fantasize for hours about being in his arms. With Luke seeming distressed over what happened, I wasn't going to be. Even though my heart was still running all over my chest at knowing we fell asleep together. Food was the perfect distraction.
"What the hell, Albany? That was my sandwich."
Come on, is it that surprising? "Technically, it's our food. So my sandwich," I said as I started eating the hammy goodness.
I relaxed back into the couch as I ate his sandwich. Francis sitting beside me, he sat back more as I had and ended up lifting his arm, draping it over the back of the couch behind me, his skin just barely brushing my neck. Glancing over to him, he grinned but wouldn't meet my eyes. That bastard sure likes to toy with me. More specifically, his brother because at his gesture, I noticed Luke eye us both up more with sharp glances. A new air came about around him and it was even more tension-filled again.
"Was there a particular reason you both are here? Besides stealing our food." Luke said, smiling to his dad but it was forced. He clearly didn't want to be here right now. I couldn't help but be worries over him. Especially with how much I know he is going through. I had a feeling there was something else though, beyond what he told me. It was a problem that was growing within him and I wasn't sure what it was.
Mike leaned forward where he was sitting, his eyes narrowing at his son. "What, your favorite dad can't visit anymore? Are you just too 'cool cop' to see me? Because if that's the case, I'll have to give you a spanking like when you were little." Mike looked to me, smirking slightly. "Would you like to see that Albany? Watch your step daddy get a spanking?"
I laughed hysterically. That put me in a good mood right away! Thank god no food was in my mouth at the moment. I would have ended up spitting it out from my hard laughter. Damn, I love this guy. "Oh hell yeah," I said with excitement. "That would be so awesome. I bet Luke would start to cry," I said, smiling as I looked beside me to him. Though his eyes told me he was still uneasy, he couldn't hide that smile and the humor behind his chuckle. Finally, some relief surfaced over Luke.
"I'm just saying it's a little weird to wake up and see you guys here. Not to mention, there is usually a reason if it's so early," Luke said.
"And I'm just saying, it's also a little weird to 'accidentally' fall asleep with your stepdaughter," Francis said, smirking as he looked down.
I glanced up to Luke, seeing his smile dim and a shade of guilt set in. I wanted to scold Francis. He was already clearly upset over it. Watching Luke closely, he hid that pain and rolled his eyes, looking between his family. "Whatever. That's the truth. We were up talking last night on the couch." His eyes met mine before he continued on. "Eventually, we must have just fallen asleep before we knew it."
I nodded, looking between them as well. We didn't need to prove anything to them. They knew we weren't lying. They were just teasing us, which is acceptable. Luke on the other hand was being a little defensive over it. I wasn't sure why. It was the truth; we accidentally fell asleep. It wasn't like we meant to.
Luke sighed before getting to his feet, stretching slightly. He was still in his clothes from yesterday, wrinkled and worn. As he was standing, I took note that he was still slightly tense though he smiled and tried ignoring it or hiding it. Looking around to us, he asked, "Do you guys want some coffee?"
I noticed Mike stand up as well, smiling. His greying hair looked messy as well, as if he just woke up himself. I loved that about his family. They didn't give a shit about looking nice around family. Especially since they are rich, they didn't seem like it at all.
"Yeah," he said nodding as he walked towards the kitchen, Luke following behind him. I watched from the couch as could see the similarities in how they held themselves, their posture and stride. "I also want to talk to you about something," he murmured to Luke just before they were out of sight and hearing range. That last sentence made me give them a raised brow at their retreating forms. What did that mean? What did they have to talk about?
Sitting besides Francis now, I finished off the sandwich as I felt his gaze fall on me. His arm still technically around me, I became very aware of him and wasn't sure why. From the side of my eye, I saw him completely turn to face me and his grin appeared.
"Albany..." he said in a light voice, taunting.
"What?" I asked, glancing over to him. I knew what he was going to bring up. Maybe that's why I was starting to feel uneasy too. Because he was nearing the truth.
"Did you see that?"
"See what?" I said, glancing down.
"What happened to Luke when I put my arm around you?"
I groaned and looked back up to him from where he was sitting next to me. Meeting his beautiful hazel eyes through his thick glasses, I admired his relaxed and comfortable presence. Like his brother, he also had a distinct scent to him. But instead of smelling like cologne and shampoo like Luke does, he had a musk of that of nature and a welcoming sweetness. Taking in his expression, I saw he looked very sure of what he said before. That he knew I had a crush on Luke. His eyes and that smirk told me he knew it. But what he had brought up went further into his suggestions. Francis was bringing up the idea that maybe Luke liked me back. I know: total BS.
"So what? He's probably just worried over me. He in no way would try to go after me. I don't get it," I chuckled. "What is it with you and this determination to discover me and Luke's relationship?"
"It's fascinating. He doesn't appear as close to Clare as he does to you. Not to mention, I like bugging you. And come on, I saw how cozy you had gotten with him when you guys were sleeping. You had a big smile on your face and you were really persistent to keep your hands around him."
"Oh come on!" I said, trying to defend myself. I hoped that wasn't true. Though I liked the dude and enjoyed sleeping in his arms, I know I shouldn't have liked it. I honestly know I can't pursue it so knowing it was visible to the outside world didn't help. "I was sleeping. I had no control over what I was doing in my sleep."
"Yeah but after you were both up, it was so obvious, the tension between the two of you. Not to mention, body language. You were breathing pretty hard. And did you look at him? He was so disturbed, with himself and not with you."
I shook my head. He just didn't give up, did he? "Why does it even matter?" I asked, chuckling at his stupid persistence. He was just grasping at straws that were way out of reach.
"That's a good point. It doesn't matter. So just admit it. Tell me you like him."
I rolled my eyes. He just wasn't quitting, the persistent bastard. I surprised Francis by what I said. I think I shocked myself even more though. "Fine. I like the guy. Big fucking deal," I muttered, looking away from him. Why had I just said that to him? It felt good to say. Maybe because I don't have anyone to talk to besides Luke. All I remember thinking was that it shouldn't matter. He wouldn't say anything.
There was a moment of silence between us before I forced myself to look back up to Francis. And you can bet there was a huge smile on his face. "Wow. Can't believe you had the balls to say it."
I rolled my eyes. "You wouldn't shut up about it!"
He laughed. "Damn. I knew it. Wait until I tell Luke..."
I slapped his arm, making him lean away from me and laugh. "Don't you fucking dare," I said, even though I knew he was kidding. I was already regretting saying anything to him.
"Calm down, you know I wont."
Just then, we heard footsteps coming from the kitchen and looked towards it. Mike and Luke were coming back into the living room, both holding a cup of coffee. Sitting down, there was a moment of silence as they drank their coffee. Luke looked a little more distracted with something - probably with whatever he and his dad were talking about while they were in the kitchen. Mike was the first to speak.
"There actually is a reason we are here..." he said and I saw Luke's eyebrows dip. That clearly wasn't what they talked about before. Glancing back to Mike, he smiled at Luke and shook his head. "Do you have any idea what today is, genius?"
"Um, Sunday?" he answered as a question, wondering if that was what his dad meant.
Mike rolled his eyes. "How about the annual cookout? Remember that, Mr. Cool Cop?" I chuckled at Mike's words but Luke only showed realization again. His eyes grew and his lips tightened as he groaned. Yeah, he clearly forgot about that. Whatever that was they were talking about. I mean, Luke hadn't even brought up anything about a cook out to me.
"Damn, I can't believe I forgot," he sighed. "When is it starting?"
"Three. I wanted your help with setting up so I was hoping you would have come over early. But when somebody didn't answer the phone numerous times," he said directly to Luke, narrowing his eyes. "It's hard to ask you to do that let alone come to the damn thing. I figured you would have remembered."
Luke sighed and smiled slightly to his dad apologetically. "Look, I'm sorry. Do you want me to come over now or...?"
I groaned, not able to sit here in the middle of a conversation that I knew nothing about before. You would have thought Luke would have mentioned it at some point but the idiot forgot. I guess I can't blame him at all though. He's really stressed and has enough to worry about. "Excuse me to all the Prenta's present in the room," I said before Luke could get his answer. First, I wanted mine. All eyes turned to me in wait. "I think it's retarded that I'm the only girl in the room and I know shit about what you are talking about. If you want me to assume this isn't a sexist act, start explaining," I said, not helping a small smirk come to my lips.
Mike laughed and his eyes found mine, amused and appreciative. "Trust me my dear, you are the last person I would consider leaving out of a conversation. You're just too damn funny and I have respect for you. So I'll start pointing fingers at this dummy," he said, pointing to Luke which made him chuckle slightly. "And he can explain to you what he already should have. But he forgot."
I laughed at Mike. Even though he was only teasing, I just wish he understood Luke's position and his stress. I don't think anybody besides me knew of just how much he is conflicted. He never talks about it with anybody else besides me I don't think.
Glancing up to Luke, I saw he didn't meet my eyes at first, still very uncomfortable with me. I wish I knew why. I didn't think falling asleep like we did was so wrong. Looking up into his bright green eyes, I gazed at him and understood now that there was more. There was more than the guilt of falling asleep. It just added to the already growing conflict within him I wanted to figure out.
Though the tension was thick, he went on to explain it to me. Apparently, like I already figured out between their conversation, Jan and Mike were hosting this cook out which happened once every year at the end of the summer. But he also told me that other family of his would be there. He apparently had a lot of family, which was just fucking perfect because clearly I'm a people person (note the sarcasm, folks). They would set up tables in the backyard and Mike would grill chicken. Luke told me it was just a nice get together with family and visiting. Later in the evening, they would have a bonfire too. After Luke was finished explaining this to me, I came to the conclusion that this would be great... for anyone besides me. I'm the town freak, the insane girl, the one that was ruining Luke's marriage for existing. I wouldn't be welcome by some and it would be incredibly awkward. I guess I would just have to get through this day as best as I can.
***
There wasn't that many times over the summer where Clare was involved in anything Luke and I did. But today, it was the three of us driving to the party. And after what happened between Clare and Luke last night, you can only imagine the amount of tension in the car. Luke wasn't looking forward to this either. It would be awkward and his family would probably be pissed off at all three of us. Clare obviously for lying and bringing this mass of drama into Luke's life. They would be mad at Luke for staying with the bitch and they would be mad at me for the fact that I am crazy or because I'm Clare's daughter. Take your pick.
I was shocked though by the time evening came around. We were all outside in their massive and beautiful backyard. It stretched far back until the rich grass hit a stop at the tree line. The woods seemed to go pretty far back. Not to mention, they didn't have any close by neighbors. Besides the very tasteful landscaping done around the whole property, their deck was roomy too. It was partially a gazebo when you stepped out the back door before it expanded into an area open to the sun, flower boxes surrounding the edges. There was a huge and long table of food set up on the deck while the few round tables to sit at were set up on the grass, huge umbrellas from each creating shade to stay comfortable.
So far, I was introduced to three of his aunts, four uncles, and a few older cousins. Sitting outside at a table, eating the heavenly-worthy chicken, I was visiting with his aunt and cousin that sat across from me. Francis sitting next to me, Shannon sat on my other side. Clare and Luke sat at another table a few feet away, chatting with other family. And that was fine. I spent a few hours here with her and I let me tell you, I was done with her. Just being around her was unpleasant. Besides that, Luke and Clare seemed to have set aside their issues as best as they could in front of everyone. But it was evident Luke was still conflicted over something. He wouldn't meet my eyes, he was being very clingy to Clare, and he was being fake. It was very clear that he was just guilty. Guilty for last night? For not being as close to his wife? For spending too much time with me and not her? For maybe giving off the wrong impression of his feelings for me? Maybe he was trying to make it very clear he loved Clare. Maybe he was just trying extra hard to love Clare because it wasn't working. I honestly wasn't sure. All I knew was that he was acting stranger than before and it made me uneasy too.
Surprisingly, nobody hated me so far. They were all just...curious about me. At first, they were very cautious - which was expected - but after awhile they kind of moved to be neutral. Their attitudes towards Clare were colder, which made me laugh. It's hilarious because they have known Clare longer, from their eyes she is the 'sane' one, and Luke's wife. Yet, they were more welcoming towards me. But I suppose it made sense. I wasn't the lying piece of shit she was. I didn't betray them. Even I seemed to be growing on Shannon.
"So Albany... do you have a boyfriend?" she asked, trying to make conversation it felt like. I bet someone told her to try harder than last time to be nice or become accepting of me. She was trying it seemed.
At her question, I noticed from my side vision that at the other table, Luke must have overheard. Because for the first time in awhile, he glanced over to me, his wild eyes meeting with mine before looking away very quickly. But in that second... damn, there was some power in that glance I wasn't sure how to decode. Goosebumps ran up my arms and I heard Francis snort from beside me, probably noticing when I put my attention back on Shannon.
"Apparently, I killed the last one so I'm on the look out for a new one," I joked and I was surprised his uncle we were also talking with chuckled. His wife went pale though, not use to my humor or at least not enjoying me joking about my 'insane' nature. Shannon gave me a small smile, her eyes nice and actually understanding that I meant that as a joke. Good, she was catching on (though it looked a little forced).
Francis gave a loud laugh. Glancing to him as we ate, he gave me an admiring gaze before he spoke to me in a small voice only I was able to hear, Shannon and the others in a different conversation. "I think you already found your next victim," he said, his eyes shifting off to the side to where I knew Luke was sitting before finding mine again. He smirked and I kicked him under the table, making him wince in surprise and I gave him my own smirk.
"Hey," he said before quietly moving closer to me, his warm breath making me tingle as he whispered in my ear. His nose just brushing over my ear, I felt shivers run over my body. "He keeps looking over at you, you know," he said as he was looking off to the side where Luke sat, where I refused to look (though I was tempted). But I didn't want to think about him right now.
"He is not," I said without thought.
"Oh he is too." Francis continued slowly in my ear, trying to tease Luke - which I knew couldn't be happening. Francis should know that his brother isn't like that. Especially with some child I knew I was to him. Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but turn to look over to where Luke was sitting again to see if he was right. And sure enough... my eyes met his instantly. Strong jade piercing straight through me, so intensely, I quickly turned back around, my heart automatically speeding. That expression he gave me that time looked more pissed off for some reason. I could feel myself blush, making Francis chuckle.
Glancing to where he was laughing quietly beside me, I noticed he was much closer now from having to whisper in my ear. "He's jealous," he told me in a light voice, making me scoff. "I told you he keeps looking over here."
"He is not!" Damn, I wish I never told him I liked Luke. He was having too much fun with it.
Francis leaned closer, making me more aware of his body, his scent. "I don't think he likes that I'm sitting next to or talking to such a pretty girl," he said in my ear again in a dramatic fashion. I wasn't really sure this time if that slow pur in my ear was meant to taunt Luke again or if he meant it for me. Because this time, Francis was the one making me blush as I tried hiding my smile.
"I'm going to beat your ass, Francis," I said a little louder so maybe someone besides him would hear, smirking to him. He only laughed and leaned back in his seat and away from me. Yeah, the guy shouldn't be allowed to have that much fun with my confession. Hell, I still can't believe I told him. I guess I couldn't blame him though. That was why he was so fun to be around.
A moment later as we continued eating, one of their aunts caught my gaze from where she was sitting across from me. Looking into the older woman's calculating and curious eyes, her fork in her hand in a delicate manner, all I wanted to do was ruin her very expensive looking clothes. Not because I didn't like her exactly. It was just too fancy of something to enjoy in my opinion (and it would be fun). She finally spoke up though.
"Albany." She stated, not really addressing me. "That is a very unique name. What is it after? The city?" Yeah, it was very obvious now they were either just curious or trying to make the time go by faster. No matter which one it is, I still answered - even if the subject she spoke of pissed me off.
"Yep. Not the one in New York though. It's was my father's home town in Georgia. That's what I was named after." And I hated it. It was a permanent mark by my dad, one that would be with me every time someone says my name. And I wanted no such attachment to him. It was also something that caused Clare to hate me that much more. One more reason to beat me, for the reminder of her previous husband.
"That's kind of neat," Shannon said, smiling up at me and I gave her a tight grin back, completely disagreeing with her on the inside. But I couldn't blame her, she didn't know.
Conversation between us all went on for a while. Mostly just questions about me. But I was only half focused I felt. I kept glancing over to where Luke was sitting with Clare. I could tell that through the laughter and plastered smiles was pain. They were putting on a show - or rather mainly Luke was. It really bothered me and made me want to do something. With every second passing, I became more irritated and more hurt. I hated that I loved him and had to go through watching him be with her. It made me feel sick to my stomach. Or maybe that was just because I was eating a lot of chicken.
Though the next few hours were spent talking and being avoided by Luke, there was actually some good news. I was walking out to the bonfire they just lit and saw everyone was already sitting in a plastic chair, surrounding the mass of flickering. Some had already gone home but there was enough to hold a few conversations. But none of them involved Clare I noticed.
Looking around at everyone there as I was nearing, my eyes stopped on Luke, who was just sitting there, his legs crossed and quiet, his eyes lost in the fire. Jan sat next to him and there was an empty seat on his other side, which I hesitantly took. I could see him immediately tense up, purposfully not looking to me as I sat next to him by the fire. Everyone engaged in their own conversations, I was persistent to have one with this complicated man right here.
"Where is Clare?" I asked him.
He groaned, taking a deep breath. His chest started to move harder but he tried not to show it, again. Luke glanced up to me, his green eyes illuminating the flash of fire reflecting in it. He was so beautiful... even in such a tormented state, he looked so strong yet so lost at the same time.
"She uh... she went home," he told me in a quiet voice, looking back to the fire.
"How?" was my first question.
He shrugged. "She took the truck."
I rolled my eyes. He knew I wanted a better answer than that. "Well then how are we getting home?"
"Francis could drop us off on his way home. Or we could just stay here the night. Clare made it clear she wouldn't mind having the house to herself for the night."
I looked at him intently before quietly speaking back to him. "Then are we staying here the night?"
"I haven't decided yet," he said, finally looking to me. But when he did, I noticed his eyes brightened a deeper green in the light. They lingered on me, traveling down my body and legs. I never saw such a look by him and my heart sped twice the rate it was before it seemed. I instantly figured I imagined it though, that strange stare. Because really, I wasn't sure what to make of it other than a lust full look. It was dark out, after all. He bit his lip a second later and looked away, back to the fire and he looked even more uncomfortable.
"Why did she leave?" I asked.
"She could tell she wasn't welcome. Not like they didn't make it clear enough," he said, indicating his family as his eyes traveled to the family sitting around the fire. He looked ready to break. On instinct, I reached over to him and rested my hand on where his was gripping the arm on the chair, wanting to show him some comfort.
Unlike all the other time's, he snapped his hand back and away from mine urgently, as if my touch burned him. But looking at his avoiding gaze, I knew it was intentional. It was his issue with his strange behavior and I didn't know what I had to do with it. After a moment of just looking into the fire, I passed my frustrated point with him.
"You know, you are being an asshole," I told him, getting his attention this time. And it was true. His eyes looked into mine and I noticed he wasn't too shocked. He knew how he was acting was retarded. I just don't think he could help himself. "And not just today either. Ever since that doctor accused us of possibly being attracted to each other, you have been distant and awkward around me. And for no reason. Then yesterday we went to the fair and had a great time. We talked last night and I could tell you liked talking with me. It made you feel better. And now from the second we woke up together, you just can't stop walking around like there is a pole stuck up your tight ass!"
Though you could say my words were mean, he didn't look offended at all. He looked understanding, somewhat begging with his eyes, somewhat saddened. Luke knew that was how he was acting. I don't think he could help but be awkward around me though.
"You're right; I'm a jerk. But that's the point," he said, looking back to the fire with regretting eyes.
"I don't understand..."
"Maybe that's a good thing for once," he said in a small voice, his eyes finding mine once more in a hesitant manner. They looked sad and sorry but I didn't feel too much sympathy for him. He was making no sense to me. But neither was his strange behavior the past few days but especially today.
He groaned, standing up a second later, not wanting to continue with our 'talk'. He walked up towards the house swiftly and I knew better than to follow him. Because for the first time ever, in his words, I knew he didn't want to talk it over with me. He didn't want that connection or understanding with me. I desperately wanted to know why but I also knew he needed and wanted to be alone right now.
Looking into the fire silently, trying to understand what that was all about, I noticed movement to my right. Glancing over to where Jan was sitting, she stood as she looked down at me. She came the small distance and moved chairs, now sitting besides me where Luke was a second ago. I internally sighed. Luke makes my heart go crazy. Jan made my heart go crazy in a completely different way. I smiled up at her as she gave me such a sincere grin, looking at me as we were now sitting besides each other. And as we were, I could already feel that pain in my chest turn overwhelming. That pain that came at her presence.
"Hey sweetie, how has your night been going? I haven't had much time to talk with you," she said, leaning towards me. Sitting besides her, both turned to look at each other, I found the air shift to a very open and welcoming environment. It was so nice... not to mention the scent of her perfume and the smoke of the fire seemed to calm my nerves. I could stay out here all night and be relaxed. It was the calmest I've felt all day. Maybe because Luke was nowhere in sight.
"Um... could be better. But hey, Clare's gone. That's a plus, right?" I said, smiling to her. She only looked down, pursing her lips. She didn't want to agree with me but I knew she was happy she went home too. I just wanted to know the specifics.
"I'm sorry she's not a mother in your eyes. It must really hurt."
I shrugged. "That's how it has always been. Actually, you are more of a mother than she is to me."
She gave me a sweet smile. It was just like the sincere smiles I rarely get from Francis. They looked exactly the same. But I knew this really touched Jan what I said. It kind of made me wish I hadn't said it. I didn't want to lady to get emotional when I was already an internal mess with her around. She reached forward and rested her hand over mine, a gesture I tried with Luke earlier but he rejected. I wasn't going to be a jackass like him. Not to mention I felt loved, truly cared for when she did that. Still a strange emotion because I wasn't use to it but I felt as if I wanted that.
Jan's eyes were fond, resting in mine. "Well, I would be lying if I said I didn't like that. I can already feel you are like a daughter to me. And you are welcome here anytime, darling. I want you to consider us your family."
I smiled slightly, my stomach twisting and I winced, looking down for the slightest second. I honestly was just hoping for a 'thank you'. I felt more loved and therefore more conflicted when she offered me that line about me being like a daughter to her and family. What sucked was that I 100% believed her. I even loved that she thought that of me. It was just a strange thing to say to someone like me.
"Thank you," I said. "I loved meeting everyone today. Though I don't think I recall many names, I felt very welcomed despite some tension." I paused, recalling what Luke said and wanting to know more. "Hey, so what happened that made Clare leave?"
"Well... she was given some attitude."
"Attitude?"
"Well, I guess that's an understatement," she said, chuckling. "More like openly bitched out, pardon my language."
I laughed. "That sounds awesome," I said.
"Overall, they told her she was not fit to be a mother, that Luke should have left her, and they just generally were ashamed of her."
I smiled. "And what are your beliefs on that?"
She sighed, looking reluctant to answer at first. "Well... I didn't say anything to her. But I kind of agree with them. She wasn't a good mother but that's not really for me to judge because I don't know how she actually raised you; I wasn't there. But as for Lukas leaving her, I am proud he didn't. That shows how strong he is. But I honestly don't think it's going to work out. And as for the last thing they said to her... I'm ashamed of her, yes. But she is still family so I have to somewhat respect her."
I nodded, understanding. And agreeing. "I don't think they are going to last either."
"Especially when Lucas didn't defend her." She said. "I mean he did but it was obvious that he believed in what they said to her. I know he's trying but I just don't think it's working out for the two of them."
Well... I guess I wasn't the only one that noticed the same thing. I smiled at her and before I had a chance to reply, someone spoke up among the small and scattered conversation. "January," Mike said, walking towards us. "Should I get started on cleaning up or do you still think we should wait until everyone is gone?" he asked his wife, looking down at her with admiration. He smiled to her and you could see the power their love for each other held.
Her neck craned up ton look to him as he stood before us, she shook her head. "No, that's fine. I'll do it. You stay and visit," she said as she stood up, patting his arm as she began to walk up towards the house. But she was soon to turn back around and meet my eyes again, smiling. "Would you like to help me, Albany?"
I gave her a small smile, standing up as well. I think she understood that I still wasn't too comfortable with her families company. She also wanted to get closer to me, I knew. "Sure," I said, walking back to the house with her.
It was very clear that I was becoming closer to Luke's family. But at the same time, he was becoming distant. And though conversation could always distract, there would always be that wonder in the back of my head: what is Luke hiding?
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So what do you think is up with Luke? It was hard to write this chapter. Especially with how Luke was acting. I wasn't use to writing him behaving like that. I've been busy lately so don't expect a fast update so sorry about that.