The alarm rings and my mind wakes up before my body does, automatically knowing it's 5 am. I don't realise that I've slept in a state of tension until a sharp lancinating pain shoots down my neck and spreads through my arms and fingers.
The pain settles into numbness and I groan as I try to move my hand. All I can feel right now are the pins and needles that have spread across my skin. It is only then that I realise I am still clutching the note in the palm of my hand.
My fingers unravel as sensation slowly returns and I stare down at the small crumpled piece of paper, nestled snugly against my skin.
Dalia didn't kill herself. She was murdered.
Seven simple words strung together into a sentence that could change everything. But the person who wrote them remains anonymous. I'd torn through the black lace envelope, searching for another hidden note or any telling sign to show me who this belonged to but there was nothing.
The whole thing must be someone's idea of a sick joke and the rational side of my mind told me that it is just a prank. There is no way Dalia could have been killed. The police had ruled that out, hadn't they?
Whatever the media reported had to be true. Right?
"Morning sunshine," Binna murmurs from the bunk bed above mine. She tosses and turns, making the metal rattle and I stare at the opened letters on the work desk in our room.
I had forgotten to place them somewhere not so conspicuous. The letter with the black lace frills sits under the others, torn into shreds like I had ripped it open out of fury. I hope she doesn't notice.
"Morning," I croak. My body is as stiff as a block of wood and just thinking about the long day ahead makes me feel exhausted.
"I'll shower first," Binna says as she climbs down and I hear the soft pads of her feet hit the floor gracefully.
I cast a cautious glance at the table but she doesn't point out the mess. Instead she grabs her towel and heads to the bathroom. The shower runs and I take this opportunity to stuff all the fan mail into an empty drawer. I decide to get rid of the torn up letter but the small note remains in my hand like it has been glued there.
I can't seem to get rid of it and I don't want the girls finding this in the trash either. So I do the only logical thing and keep it by my side as I bathe and get ready for training.
Binna and I always take the bus to Firefly because using the driver only builds up the debt we owe to the company and reducing any amount owed seemed like a smart way to go. Our debt accumulated by training lessons was already so significant, not to mention the amount of money it would take to debut.
Just thinking about how much I currently owe my company makes me stress out to no end so I brush it off.
I pull my boots up higher and tug my scarf so that it fits snugly around my neck as we wait by the crowded bus stop. A SUV stops right in front of our dorms and I watch JinJin, Grace and Rachel get inside.
Being a rich trainee certainly has its privileges but I would choose taking the bus any day over sharing a ride with them.
"Slept well?" Binna asks from my side and I turn to see her staring at me.
She is wearing a grey hoodie and her long black hair flows like silk to her chest, covering the words Ninja Turtle 2. Her dark cat like eyes are visibly tired but her lips curve into a smile and she's always had the most infectious smile.
I find myself reciprocating even though her question brings me back to the small note currently residing in my side pocket. I don't know what to do with it but something keeps me from throwing it down the drain or nearest dustbin, even though that is probably the wisest thing to do right now.
"I'm so tired. I could sleep on this bench right now and probably wake up after a week."
Binna looks down at the metal bars that we sit on and notes the gum stuck at its sides. "That would be highly unsanitary."
The bus finally arrives and we pile in with the other passengers. Firefly is only a few blocks away so we stand by the doors, ready to exit when the bell chimes at our destination.
The Firefly Entertainment headquarters really portray our humble beginnings. The building is small, rectangular and nothing but slabs of grey concrete pasted together symmetrically. The only thing that stands out is the large neon signboard that alerts the public that this place is an entertainment company.
Our CEO Mr Yang has always repeated how Firefly came into existence under his tutelage and hard work. He set up this small company in 1991 and his first group Nexus barely covered the rental for the first two years.
His second group Green Girls became relatively more successful and thus Firefly was able to afford some maintenance and the large signboard perched by the top floor. The next few groups were also semi famous and just enough to breakeven and cover the maintenance and cost to run the company.
In other words Firefly had been struggling from the beginning until Viva was launched in 2013. No one expected their third boy group to be so successful but Viva beat all odds and brought in the most revenue Firefly entertainment had ever seen.
Mr Yang always tells us that Viva's second album paid for the building right next to Firefly's headquarters. This behemoth of a building houses all our training lessons, studios, cafeteria and media training sessions. The lower ground has even been renovated into a mini concert arena which is sometimes used for evaluations and very exclusive Viva concerts.
It's obvious the public only hungers for this particular boy group in our company but Mr Yang has mentioned many times that he would like to change this by introducing a girl group soon.
My nerves tingle as we cross the double glazed sliding doors and walk into the lobby of our training centre. Our boots squeak against the spotless dark marble floors and we scan our passes before heading straight to the lifts.
I press the button to the fifth floor where our vocal lessons are usually held. Binna and I like to warm up at least an hour before our teachers arrive but the second floor cafeteria calls to me as my stomach grumbles.
Some coffee right now would be great too.
"Don't even think about it." It is as if Binna can read my mind. "We have our prepared breakfast at 8am, remember?"
"Ugh, how could I forget." I lean my forehead against the smooth marble wall as I remember the tasteless egg and vegetables awaiting us for breakfast. Ever since management announced that a new girl group would be launched, our group of trainees were introduced to a diet plan designed to help us lose weight and an even stricter training schedule.
On the bright side, it's easy not having to worry about what to eat all the time. The only problem is the food is always so boring and tasteless. Not a grain of salt or speck of oil. God forbid anything deep-fried.
This could be considered torture to someone who grew up mainly on fried chicken and rice cakes.
I almost smile thinking about the fried tofu I ate yesterday with Jiho. The memory of his eyes crinkling together when he smiled makes my cheeks warm but our teacher's urgent voice quickly knocks the memory out of my head.
"Girls, head to the auditorium now. Mr Yang and some of the execs want to meet you and they will be making some announcements. Tell the other trainees to gather there as well. I want you all in a line on stage before an exec sets foot through the doors."
The two of us watch Ms Hao rush across the hall as she mutters into her phone, looking more stressed than we'd ever seen her.
Binna and I share a look and immediately get into the lifts to head to the auditorium.
"Just texted the group. JinJin's already there," She mutters.
I bite my lip in slight frustration. Of course she is. That girl has the inside scoop on everything Firefly related. I won't be surprised if she knows why we're gathering there this morning.
When we reach the auditorium most of the trainees are already there on stage. A coordinator rushes about, arranging the girls into a straight line and tries to make our height's balanced by giving us heels.
Binna and I are on the taller side, being five foot seven but some of the girls like Rachel have to wear four inch platforms to mirror our height. JinJin is five six and she stands confidently at the centre of the stage, daring anyone to take her place.
We make our way to the side as the coordinator separates us and I catch JinJin staring at me, her eyes sharp and borderline annoyed. Her eyebrows pinch together when the coordinator places me right next to her in the middle.
I stare ahead, pretending not to notice the way she is glaring at me and thankfully the lights in the auditorium switch on and we are bathed in glaring white-yellow stage light.
I expect to see Mr Yang or one of the executives walk in but my breath catches in my throat when all seven members of Viva walk down the aisle and take a seat in the second row. Subtle gasps erupt from the girls as the boys stare up at us.
My eyes immediately flit to Jiho who sits front and centre. He isn't wearing a mask today and I can see his signature birth mark beneath his eye, his high cheekbones and the way his bow shaped lips form a small smile.
His eyes narrow and I realise he is also looking at me. Heat rushes up my cheeks and my face burns like the lights above have lit me on fire.
"Good morning everyone!" Mr Yang announces as he marches into the hall and walks down past the rows of seats with the grace of a swan.
People generally call him the peacock because he is the epitome of flashy but today his black three piece is more business like than the usual gaudy pantsuits he usually wears.
He stops at the front row and the eight other execs flank him on both sides like his bodyguards. Mr Yang looks up at us and I try not to cower under his cold and calculative stare.
It is a stare that has made or broken careers.
He then claps his hands together and I could have sworn someone next to me flinched.
"Girls. Girls. Girls. So many exciting things to announce. So much to come."
There is pin drop silence in the auditorium as we hang on to his words like life support. He doesn't even need a mike for our undying attention.
I almost lean forward as he continues.
"First off, stock prices have increased ten percent this past week thanks to all the publicity we have gotten due to recent events," He glances at me furtively and walks along the stage. "I'm sure you girls have heard that we are launching a new girl group in approximately three to four months."
All of us straighten up, each one vying for his attention in that very moment. I could smell the desperation wafting in the air.
"Since the public's interest has been piqued we have decided to host a live event with none other than Viva here." Mr Yang gestures at the boy group in the second row and I try not to look at Jiho even though I can feel his penetrating gaze on me.
"I've decided on three duets, one with Jiho, one with Q and the last with Chan. One group dance and one song to be performed with the girls alone. This is your moment to shine girls and the public will have the opportunity to vote for their favourites."
His smile disappears and his tone turns lethal as he continues. "This will be your biggest test yet and the deciding factor on who gets to debut in the coming months. Since there are fifteen of you, an evaluation will be held here next week and we will decide who gets to perform what. Those who do not get chosen, consider yourselves eliminated."
My heart shrivels up in fear at those horrible words and I force myself to remain calm.
"Make no mistake. No special treatment will be given to those with more media attention than the others."
I can't help but feel more eyes on me when he says this.
He walks right to the front and looks me dead in the eye - or maybe he's looking at all of us through those tinted glasses of his but I'm just paranoid - and then he crosses his fingers and smiles like a Cheshire Cat.
"May the best trainees take the stage. See you all at evaluation next week."
Ahh stakes are high. Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. And more to come on the note later :) :)