By evening, you'd almost forgotten about your close brush with death.
The whole group had agreed on taking a stroll to some abandoned dock that Steve and Nat had found on their long swim, seemingly all deciding to ignore the obvious subtext of their discovery story- that they'd banged on it. Fortunately for you, it was fully accessible by land, so you managed to convince the others to walk there rather than swim. It would've been a very boring evening on your own at the house otherwise.
Everyone else did a running jump off the end pretty much as soon as you arrived, your period pains conveniently resurfacing at that exact moment. Excuses were made and you happily settled yourself on the edge to watch them swim.
Bucky gave you a knowing look but, thankfully, stayed silent.
It only took around ten minutes for Steve to start randomly challenging people to chicken fights. That was typical Steve, no surprises there, but one thing you sure as hell didn't expect was him teaming up with Buck.
They looked like some kind of comically muscular totem pole, you just had to stand up and get a better view. After a couple of rounds, you'd became so engrossed watching Bucky's arms at work that you didn't notice Sam was missing from the group.
There was a lull in the game, during which Bucky glanced in your direction, his face immediately dropping.
'Sam, no!'
You only managed a split-second of confusion before being shoved off the pier.
You hit the water like a pallet of cinder blocks. The shock left you completely paralysed for the first few seconds but, as soon as you came to your senses and actually tried to swim, the realisation that you were in too deep to touch the ground sent you spiralling into a frenzied panic.
The more you thrashed around trying to get back to the surface, the more you seemed to sink. All you could hear was your own heartbeat and all you could see was the sun's glimmering reflection getting further and further away.
Your mind was just beginning to cloud over when two arms shot through the water and yanked you upwards.
Your instincts kicked in and you grabbed onto Bucky with all the strength you could muster, wrapping yourself around him tight while gulping in deep breaths. You squeezed your eyes closed and just hoped to hell that he'd get you out of this situation as quickly as he possibly could.
He sprinted to the shore. He'd obviously learned some kind of lesson earlier because this time, rather than just dropping you onto the sand, he lowered himself to his knees and kept you firmly in his arms.
Sam appeared on your other side less than a second later. 'Shit, are you alright?'
You did your best to nod through the hysteria, for some reason still trying to keep up your pretence after that pathetic display.
'What the hell was that man?' Bucky sounded genuinely pissed. 'You tryna kill someone?'
'I'm really sorry, it was just a joke.'
'Great joke, maybe next time you could hit someone with a speedboat.'
The two of them kept going back and forth but you stopped listening to just focus on bringing your heart rate down. It was weird, but you had to admit that being held by Bucky seemed to be helping a little. Ordinarily you'd have been violently sobbing and shaking, probably on the brink of passing out, but the firm grip around you and the soft repetition of him stroking your hair was really helping soothe you.
Sam eventually retreated to join the rest of the group, who were huddled a few feet away looking extremely concerned, and Bucky's attention turned back to you.
'You alright?'
'I think I'm doing pretty well, considering.'
'You're doing great,' he glanced towards your friends, 'but I think your secret's out.'
'Really? I thought I played it off.'
A low chuckle vibrated through his chest. 'I guess we'll see.'
You buried your head in the crook of his neck, closing your eyes in an attempt to deflect the suspicious looks Nat was giving you.
You almost just died for Christ's sake, surely she'd have to give you a pass this time.
---
Clambering into bed that night, you'd never been so pleased for a day to be over. Every muscle in your body was aching.
You still weren't sure how, but under cross-examination you'd actually managed to play the incident off as a fluke, claiming to your friends that a mixture of shock and the two beers you had with lunch made you forget how to swim- how the hell they bought that you'd never know.
Obviously you'd tell them the truth at some point, you were just glad you could do it in your own time.
Just as you were nodding off, there was a faint knock on the door, and Bucky's head appeared in the gap soon afterwards.
'Thought I'd make sure you're all good, two close calls is a lot for one day.'
'Tell me about it.' You gave him an exhausted smile. 'I'm okay though, thanks Buck.'
He was silent for a second. You could tell he was dying to come in, but after everything that'd happened he was obviously reluctant to impose. You had no idea why he was so desperate, you probably looked like an absolute mess that needed at least ten hours sleep and maybe some kind of sedative, but it was flattering nonetheless.
'Well, g'night.'
'Hey.' You stopped him just before the door closed. 'You can stay, if you want to.'
'You want me to?'
'Yeah, I do.'
---
A light shake of your shoulder dragged you out of sleep. You grunted, keeping your eyes firmly closed, and rolled away from your tormentor.
'Hey,' he scooched across the gap you'd created and shook you again, 'wake up.'
'What time is it?'
'I don't know, like seven.'
You aggressively shrugged his hand off your shoulder. 'Fuck all the way off.'
Just as you thought you'd gotten rid of him and started to feel yourself relaxing back into sleep, Bucky jumped off the bed and ripped the sheet away from you, laughing at the incredibly irritated frown you shot him while still curled up in fetal position.
'C'mon, we got stuff to do.'
'The fuck you talking about?' You were awash with grogginess, the boyish excitement on his face kind of starting to piss you off. 'Am I still asleep? Is this a nightmare?'
'Close but no cigar. Now get up.'
He basically dragged you off the mattress, the expression on your face frozen into one of angry confusion as he coaxed you into your bathing suit and down onto the beach. He, for some reason, tried to start leading you into the water, but you stopped dead as soon as your toes started getting wet.
'What the hell are we doing out here, Buck? It's way too early for another brush with death.'
'Alright, look, I have an idea. I want to help you out and I figured we should probably do it before Nat wakes up.'
You gave him a suspicious scowl. 'Help me out with what?'
'You know,' he gestured vaguely to the water surrounding him, 'your thing.'
You let out a deep sigh. The thought behind this was obviously very sweet and well-intentioned, but you weren't sure how to break it to him that any kind of improvement was a huge long-shot. You'd been in the water numerous times since the incident, in a variety of different circumstances, and every time it'd ended in disaster.
Your gaze locked with his, the naive optimism in his eyes melting something inside you and willing you to at least let him try.
'Okay. I'll give it a shot.'
A wide grin spread over his face. 'How far in can you get before freaking out?'
'Um, I guess I can just about cope as long as I'm touching the ground, but anything past that is panic attack territory.'
'Alright, let's go.'
He held his hand out to you, your knees already beginning to shake as he led you in. You waded until the water was past your calves, then your thighs, then your stomach. By the time it hit your chest you were squeezing his hand like a vice and really struggling to make your legs carry you any further.
You eventually stopped, the tugging on his arm making him turn around. 'You alright?'
'I've been better.'
'Well, you're better than last time we were here.' With a smile, he took both of your hands in his. 'Now close your eyes.'
'Hell no.'
'Trust me.'
'You literally almost killed me yesterday.'
He tilted his head forwards slightly and gave you a pressing look from beneath his eyebrows. With a defeated sigh, you let your eyes hesitantly flicker closed, the idea of being chest-deep in the ocean completely blind making you feel slightly nauseous.
'If this is some kind of stupid prank I swear to fucking g-'
A surprised yelp escaped your lips when Bucky suddenly scooped you up into a bridal carry. He chuckled, holding you firmly while wading in slightly deeper, only stopping when the water hit his chest.
'Now, stretch your arms and legs out.' You scrunched your face up, eyes still firmly closed. 'I'm not gonna let go, trust me, you're okay.'
You apprehensively slackened your arms, letting them and your legs begin to bob on the surface of the water. You were breathing a little fast and feeling somewhat shaky but, other than that, you couldn't believe how little panic you were experiencing.
The feeling of Bucky's arms supporting your weight from underneath stopped you from feeling too exposed to the depths, so you were able to just focus on the soft sensations of the water lapping at your body, something you'd never been able to enjoy before. A few mild palpitations surfaced whenever you let your mind wander into unsettling territory, but the control you felt over your situation meant you were able to recenter yourself pretty easily.
You were so focused on these growing feelings of tranquillity that you barely even noticed when it happened but, eventually, Bucky let go.
You were just... floating.
'Feels good right?'
'Mhmm.' The corners of your mouth curled into a smile. 'Really good.'
There were a few long seconds of silence. You turned your head slightly in the direction of Bucky's voice, hoping to hear at least some movement, eyes still closed but an increasingly concerned look creeping over your face.
'I'm still here, don't worry.'
A hand came to rest on your forehead, Bucky's lips pressing softly against yours a few seconds later. You snaked your arms around his neck, keeping your mouth connected to his and letting him pull you away from the water when he straightened back up. Your feet were just dangling precariously in the water but you really couldn't have cared less.
Ah, fuck. This was bad.
You'd vehemently promised yourself that you wouldn't fall for Bucky, but here you were, draped over him in the ocean while hopelessly trying to hold back feelings stronger than any you'd experienced before. You never fucking learn.
He pulled away and glanced over to the beach, scanning his eyes over the empty sand before looking back at you with a wicked smirk.
'Thoughts on having sex in the ocean?'
As nice as this experience had been, you figured it probably still wasn't a great idea to mix your deepest, darkest fear with one of your favourite things in the world- it sounded like a recipe for psychological issues or some kind of weird kink development.
'Anti. Fish pee in here, Buck, don't be gross.'
'Fair enough.' He shrugged. 'Beach?'
'I could do that.'