Melvin P. Thorpe was in his dressing room, getting ready for his show.
A large photo of him was on the back of the door in his room
A knock came from the door.
"Come in." Melvin called.
Ed Earl and David both stepped into Melvin's dressing room, closing the door behind him.
Melvin turned around and was met with the two standing there.
"Ah, hello." He greeted.
"Hello. Im Sheirff Ed Earl Dodd from Gilbert." Ed Earl introduced himself as he took off his hat.
"This is Deputy David Bowie." He pointed at David with his hat.
"Huh, a deputy?" Melvin mumbled, regarding David.
"I hope we are not interrupting anything." Ed Earl said as he looked around.
"Oh no, it's my pleasure. What brings you here to Houston?"
Melvin walked over to a couch. "Sit down, anywhere over here. I'm uh- I'm gettin' dressed. I've got my TV show to do, and I'm runnin' a bit behind time."
"Mr. Thorpe, we came to talk about-"
David was cut off by Melvin as he held his finger up. "Melvin."
"Melvin." David repeated after him like an echo.
"Melvin, we came to talk about your show." Ed Earl spoke.
"You watch the show, David? Ed?" Melvin questioned. "Last week well...was the best ratin' we ever had. The city planning commissioner was drivin' a city car..."
Melvin stopped and handed a pair of socks to Ed Earl. "Just hold that for me, will you?"
Ed Earl took the sock and looked at it with a strange expression.
Melvin continued as he put on a girdle.
"While he was on vacation, caught him dead to rights. Pitiful putz."
He stopped in front of Ed Earl.
"Would you just zip that up?" He pointed to the zipper.
"What?" Ed Earl asked.
"Just pull that up."
Ed Earl stood up and tried to pull the zipper. It didn't move.
"David come over here." Ed Earl told him. David got up to walk over to Melvin. He tried to pull on the zipper. He then tried to pull on it harder but it still didn't move.
Finally, David just took hold of the zipper between his teeth and yanked upward.
Melvin didn't say anything to David as he began talking again.
"And we broke a 30 share. It's affectin' my pieces on the late night news. Up, up, up. They just love my little report."
Melvin then walked over to the other side of the room to get something.
"I hear you're very popular." Ed Earl replied as he sat back down alkng with David.
"The power of television, of public exposure, is so great it scares me. I swear, I could get the Mayor's own children to throw rocks at him."
Melvin turned back around. "Which show did you two like best?"
"I think the one about the...nuts in the chocolate bar." Ed Earl nodded his head, thinking fast.
"I'd have to agree with Ed Earl." David agreed, playing along with him.
Melvin nodded his head agreeing with them.
"That's one of my favorites. 'Threescore' means 60, like the Bible says. So if it says "60 Nuts" on the wrapper, I wanna see 60 nuts inside. And I'm not talkin' a half nut..."
Melvin bent down, putting on one of those things that baseball players wear to protect their crotch. "Or nut bits, or nut chips, I'm talkin' a full nut."
Ed Earl looked at him as David lowered his head trying not to snicker. "I can see that..." Ed Earl replied.
"Thank god we still live in a society where anything that's phony or dishonest can't stand the light or day."
Melvin turned back towards Ed Earl.
"Sock."
Ed Earl gave him a confused look. "Beg your pardon?"
Melvin held his hand out. "Uh, sock."
Ed Earl handed him the sock.
Melvin thanked hin before shoving the sock into his pants and zipping his pants up.
Ed Earl looked as he put the sock into his pants with an expression that was mixed with both disgust and disbelief.
David was shocked, but also amused.
Melvin began to adjust the belt on his pants.
"But you show up with your TV camera and give them a little bad publicity and they shape up faster than goose shit slides through a tin horn."
"Well, Melvin." David cleared his throat as he stood up and walked over to Melvin. "We would like to talk to you about that bad publicity."
"That could hurt people. You take that report you're doin' on The Chicken Ranch." Ed Earl began. "I wouldn't be suprised if your grandaddy took your daddy out there to learn about the birds and the bees."
David looked at Ed Earl. "Sheriff-"
"I'm from New Jersey." Melvin replied bluntly. "See, I moved to Houston six years ago. Texas suits my style."
David was about to say something but he was cut off by Ed Earl. Ed Earl continued with his list of reasons of why he shouldn't report on the ranch. But do you think that Melvin cares if most of the politicians slept there?
"And the Mayor and the people of my county that voted for me, they want to keep things just the way they are."
"Hmm. You know something, it just struck me. All three of us are in law enforcement. I'm out here fightin' for the rights of the public, just like you two. All of us are interested in protectin' the public." He pointed one finger at David, then another on his other hand towards Ed Earl. "You in the old way..." Melvin then pointed both fingers at him. "And me in the new."
"Uh-huh...." Ed Earl mumbled. "The new?"
"Television. I'm the electronic bounty hunter. I use a camera, you both use a gun."
"Yeah, well, Melvin, everybody would be happy if you'd just drop the whole thing."
Melvin turned away from the two, he rolled his eyes. "Ah." He simply replied.
"Plus-" But once again, David was cut off by Ed Earl. "I mean, even if what they're doing is right or wrong..."
Now, Ed Earl was cut off by Melvin.
"Right or wrong don't interest me! I'm no moralizer. I leave all that to the preacher." Melvin exclamined.
"Well, I'm glad. Mayor thought you were out for a little unnecessary publicity." Ed Earl spoke, feeling relieved.
"Unnecessary publicity?!" Melvin asked shocked and offended. "He got me all wrong! I'm not one of those sensation mongers out to boost his own ego!"
Melvin then picked up a scarf to tie around his neck. "How do you like it?" Melvin asked, after he was done.
"It's different." Ed Earl said bluntly, but at the same time trying to not be rude. He was wearing the same outfit he was wearing in that photo on the back of the door.
"It's not...bad." David nodded his head.
"I designed it myself. I knew you'd like it, David. You are the one who wore all those gaudy, weird, zany, wacky, space-lookin' outfits." Melvin smiled.
David didn't know whether he was trying to insult him or he was just being nice but didn't think he was being rude. Either way, David just smiled right back at him.
"Were you inspired by David here?" Ed Earl questioned Melvin, glancing over at David.
"Oh no. I came up with this all by myself. You tell your Mayor he's got nothing to fear about me."
"He'll be happy to hear." Ed Earl grinned, feeling more relaxed.
"I'm a lawman. That's my interest."
"The law, right partner?" Ed Earl asked.
Melvin looked at him for a few moments silently before someone barged into the room.
"20 seconds, Mr. Thorpe." They said before leaving.
"Oh! I'm on! Friends Ed and David, I gotta go. Come on!"
All three of them rushed out of the room.
"Come to think of it, I'd love to do an interview with you, Ed." Melvin told him, as they came to a stop. The stood in front of a door that led to a booth that sat up high and across from the stage.
"I don't think I'm the type." Ed Earl replied.
"Oh, nonsense! You're exactly what the public would like to see." Melvin smiled widely.
"Really?" Ed Earl was a bit surprised. "We'll discuss it after the show."
"I want you to be my guest."
Melvin then pointed towards the booth. "This is ths sponsor's booth. Just go in there, make yourself at home." He opened the door for them. "See you later partners."
"Thank you."
Melvin nodded before closing the door.
As they sat down, they heard people on the stage singing.
"And now, the Watchdog man himself." An announcer came over the overhead speakers. "The eyes and ears of Texas... Melvin P. Thorpe!"
The live audience began clapping as they saw Melvin walk onto the stage.
As the clapping died down, Melvin began to talk.
"Thank you fellow Texans, and welcome to the watchdog report with your's truly, Melvin P. Thorpe."
David turned his head towards Ed Earl who magically had a beer. He was about to ask where he got that beer from but suddenly heard Melvin began to talk again, and what he said really caught his attention.
"This week's spotlight, we'll shine on a shameful situation that has been allowed to exist for close to 100 years. I'm talkin' about The Chicken Ranch my friends."
Abruptly, Ed Earl stopped drinking his beer.
"And the man who turns his back on this illegal operation, is Sheirff Ed Earl Dodd!" He pointed right at the booth as everyone whipped their head around to see Ed Earl sitting in the booth.
"Did I say illegal? Yes I did!"
"David, go down there and unplug those cameras, now!" Ed Earl barked at him. David got up and ran out of the booth.
"I know this is TV, so I'm going to be as delicate as I can! Here it goes, and may God forgive me!"