After the rather tense dance with Thomas, which left me feeling tingly all over and mind slightly foggy, had come to an end, I decided to sit out the rest of the evening and avoid any more attention being drawn to myself.
I should have been overjoyed that he had danced with me, even flirted with me, but our interaction had left my mind a jumbled mess. I was unsure of how to process everything that had happened, let why it had. What I did know, however, was that a yearning, deep inside me, had started to awaken. One that I was not yet aware of, nor knew exactly what it was for. But I was sure the more time I spent with Thomas, the more I'd come to understand it since it was he who had unlocked it.
I did my best to think of anything other than those dangerously handsome brothers. But the longer I sat there waiting for the night to be over, the more I thought about my dance with Thomas, and the time I had spent with Henry.
Thomas was the man I was sent for, yet for some reason I could not help but also think of his kind, older brother. The last thing I needed was to have been distracted by not one prince, but two. And this had started to make me become frustrated with myself. The longer I thought about it the more enveloped I had come by my own thoughts. That was, however, until I had caught sight of mother, who had begun to approach me. My stomach fell as I watched her make her way across the yard from where she had been conversing with another lady, eyes blazing despite the neutral look on her face.
She took the empty seat next to me, brow raised as she turned to whisper, "What is it, exactly, that you think you are doing?"
"M-my Lady. . ." I was shaken by her tone. The last time she had spoken to me as such was the night that she had nearly choked me to death with her own hands. "I have only done as you and Lord Beckett have asked of me."
"Is that so?" She hissed, yet the look on her face was quite the opposite. She maintained a cheerful expression, as if she were having a loving exchange with one of her precious daughters. However, the hate radiating from her was palpable. "Do you think I, and everyone else in the room did not see your desperate attempt for attention? You practically screamed it across the yard by forcing the heir to dance with you. And it was as clear as day, to any one with eyes, that you used him to get Prince Thomas to look at you." She tried to keep from rolling her eyes as she carefully managed her tone, "You and your blatant whoring have made a fool of us all." She reached over and took my hand in hers, then proceeded to squeeze. "How dare you embarrass me in front of the King and Queen by compelling their son to participate in such an obscene display."
I did my best to fight the tears that had started to form from the pain that shot up my arm, "It was not my intentions, My Lady, I swear. I do not know why either of them chose to dance with me, nor did I want them to."
"I care not for your lies and grow tired of this pathetic show." She snapped through her teeth, "You are a worthless, ungrateful child, and the prince will never choose the likes of you. Neither of them will. And if you continue down this path that you are on, I swear to you that when they have used you and thrown you away, I will send you to a brothel to live out the rest of your days with the whores you belong with."
She clamped down on my hand even harder before she let go, as if to get her point across, then stood up and walked away with a smile on her retched face. I sat there, staring at the floor wishing to dissolve into nothing, wondering if I had really done the things that she had accused me of and had just not been aware of it.
My hand throbbed as I was unable to ball it into a fist and it hurt to move my fingers. The little cuts she had left behind from digging her nails into my skin stung.
Her warning nearly shattered any and all the confidence that I had gathered after arriving at the Palace. My resolve, almost obliterated. "How," I thought, "am I supposed to keep anyone from standing in the way of me winning the prince's affections and ridding myself of my family, when I can hardly survive one unpleasant interaction with my own mother?"
Doubt had started to fester in the gaping wound that she had left behind. Leaving me wondering if I should have given up before it was too late.
As the night's festivities neared their end, I was startled out of my thoughts by a lady's maid that I had never met before. A woman, with kind eyes and a gentle presence, tapped me on the shoulder from behind, then beckoned me to follow without a word of why or who had sent her, and so I did.
She took me up the northern stairs of the courtyard, that led to the throne room, and before we reached one of the terraces that overlooked the yard, I recognized the person who had sent for me.
Princess Corinna stood braced against the stone railing. The blueish white moonlight and the faint glow of the torches illuminated her long ebony hair, making her appear almost ghostly.
She quickly turned her head in my direction as soon as I softly scrapped one of my shoes against the stone walkway. "Hello, Miss Beckett." Her soft voice struggled as she tried to raise it enough so I could hear her.
I curtsied even though she could not see it, "Good evening, Princess Corinna."
"Please, join me." She moved her hand hesitantly at the open spot next to her, as if she was unsure whether or not it had been the correct side.
I complied gladly without hesitation and leaned against the stone railing like she had. We both peered out over the yard, I watching the people dance as many of their dresses and jewels glittered in the night, and she pretending to, I suppose.
She was so small up close, her thin frame more apparent and she stood about three or four inches lower than me.
"I hear you've danced with not just one, but both of my brothers tonight." The sides of her mouth struggled not to curl into a small innocent smile. "It is good to know that Henry can dance after all."
"Indeed, my princess, I did." I looked over at her, who continued to gaze out into the yard. "Though, I have no idea why both would have chosen me, of all people, to be their partners. Because before tonight, I had never really danced at all."
She chuckled, the tenseness in her posture slightly relaxing. "I am sure they have a very good reason as to why, well at the very least Henry would."
"I see." I smiled at the thought of her approval.
The two of us fell silent, then she softly asked, "May I touch your face?"
"My face?" I scrunched my eyebrows at the question.
"I asked mother Idra before you all presented yourselves to us, if she would have each of you allow me to touch your faces. You know, so I can feel what you look like, but she told me no. I wondered if it was because she thought it rude, but despite my inability to see everyone for myself, I thought I at least deserved to see you all in my own way." She paused, then chewed on her lip for a second before continuing, "If you find it rude or uncomfortable, please, you can refuse. It will not hurt my feelings and I will understand."
She was tense again, her voice quivering every once in a while, which made me feel stupid for even questioning her. I had not minded her request, truly. I just had been simply curious as to why she had requested it. She was unable to see me, or the others, and just wanted to feel what everyone else had at the revealing, which I could not blame her for. Because it was something that should have never been denied in the first place.
I softly took her hands in mine and placed them on my face, allowing her to take over from there. I watched her sadness slowly melt into curious joy as she explored every inch of my face with her thin frail fingers. I closed my eyes so she did not have to worry about accidentally poking me in one of them and just allowed her to do as she pleased.
"Henry said your eyes are two different colors," She ran a finger over my closed left eye, "This one is green?"
"Yes, and the other is blue." I smiled.
"What kind of blue and green?" Her voice grew louder in excitement, the look of delight on her face when I opened my eyes almost brought tears to them.
"The blue is more like that of a frozen ocean and the green looks almost like Henry's and your father's eyes." I chewed on my lip in regret after realizing that she may have never seen them before.
Her expression slightly hardened, but she still held a smile, "Oh, Miss Beckett, please do not be upset with yourself. In fact, I was able to see up until the age of nine."
"I did not know that." I was unsure of which was worse, being born blind or losing one's sight after only having it for such few years, but I wished I could have been able to help her in some way.
"Not many that reside outside of the Palace do." She started to play in my hair. "When I was born, I was supposed to have had a twin brother, but he was much larger than I and something happened when he was coming out that ended in both his and my mother's deaths."
I looked at her wide eyed, tears starting to amass in my eyes. I knew the previous queen had died in childbirth, but I had no idea that Princess Corinna was supposed to have been a twin. "My princess. . . I am so sorry."
"You may call me Corinna when it is just the two of us," She softly inspected my necklace as she continued, "I am not telling you this for you to pity me, Miss Beckett,"
I carefully cut her off, "Please, call me Emma."
A large smile crept onto her face before she continued, "I'm telling you this, Emma, because since I was the smaller one between Corinnius and I, I was born rather sickly and when I was around seven years of age my sight started to leave me. By my ninth birthday, I was left completely blind."
"However," she fiddled with my sleeves, "They knew I would not have my sight for long when I was born. So, when I was old enough to understand that, I read so many books, took in so many sights and used my eyes until I no longer could."
"I could not imagine how it must feel." I fought hard to keep my voice from breaking.
"I can still see movement, but it is as if there is a permanent fog around me at all times, blurring everything, preventing me from seeing more than just shadows. But I do think, that out of everything, I miss colors the most. Speaking of which, what color is your dress? It feels rather beautiful."
"It is a deep emerald, the bodice is embroidered with gold-work, and the gemstones in my necklace are emeralds with accents of pearls." I would have described anything to her if she had asked. She was too kind to have been dealt such a sad twist of fate.
"Your hair?" Her eyes glistened as she continued to prod me with questions.
"Auburn, but more so brown than red." I replied, voice soaked in excitement as I started to enjoy how much delight every response seemed to bring her.
"I now know why you've caught the attention of both Henry and Thomas." She chuckled, "You are, not only beautiful, but are such a wonderful and fun person to be around. I would love to be friends with you, if that is something you, too, would like."
"Of course, I would love to be friends with you Corrina." If this was what it was supposed to have felt like to have a sister, then Adela had been doing it all wrong, "May I hug you?"
"Please." She smiled as she brought up her arms.
This was not how I expected a conversation with a princess to have gone, but I was more than happy with the outcome. The more of Thomas's family that liked me the better, since I would have had to have spent most of my life around them after we had married.
But it also felt nice to know that I had already made two new friends in the palace. Knowing that I had not been alone helped slightly rebuild some of that confidence I had lost earlier from my talk with mother.
After Corrina and I finished talking, I escorted her back to her set, where Henry looked up at me, his green eyes beaming as he mouthed the words, "Where have you two been?"
To which I replied, "Talking."
This caused him to laugh, then he smiled at me and, in a sincere tone, whispered, "Thank you."
The king watched our exchange trying not to let his expression of stone waver, but once I quickly returned to my seat the man was grinning ear to ear as he listened to Corinna talk about me to Henry.
I had started to feel good about the progress I had made, that was until I met the deadly gaze of the queen. She lingered for a moment, then stood up and slammed her fists onto the table causing everyone to abruptly stop what they were doing and the courtyard to grow dead silent in an instant.
"I would like to thank you all for joining us here tonight to celebrate my son going into his first and only season, as well as the ladies who have made it this far in the Courting." She stood up, "However, it is time we bring things to a close. So, if all of the ladies would follow me, and the men follow the King, we shall begin the social period."
"I've got more wine waiting for ye' back in the throne room." King Alwyn cackled as he stood and beckoned the men to come with him. It was abundantly clear he had downed one too many goblets.
We, the women, waited quietly as the king and his rowdy entourage laughed and shouted their way out of the courtyard All struggling as they climbed back up the stairs then disappeared into the throne room. Henry turned back, meeting my gaze one last time to flash me a farewell smile with flushed cheeks from all the liquor he had downed.
"Shall we?" Queen Alwyn turned to lead the way, her deep purple dress flowing behind her like a long shadow.
She took us up the northern steps, turned right when we got to the throne room, then shortly made a left and took us down a corridor that led to one of the queen's many drawing rooms.
It was an extravagant room with gilded marble floors, adorned with pastel-colored draperies and rugs. Sheer pastel sheets hung from the vaulted painted ceiling, dividing the room into several smaller seating areas. In the middle was a table covered in fruits, sweets, cheeses, and crystal goblets of bubbly wine. Silk pillows sat atop velvet couches, chairs and loveseats alike, and the walls were covered in paintings of naked men with overwhelmingly fantastic physiques, alongside women in gowns sheer enough one could see their entire bodies, all intertwined with one another in the most scandalous of ways.
The women of the court grabbed their goblets of refreshments and went about the room casually as if they knew it like the backs of their hands. Us suitresses watched with beaming eyes, I myself wondering if we too should just join it or wait for our hostess to instruct us.
Castellana took charge and made her way over to where her mother and Countess Fairefax had found seats, while conversing with two other fancily dressed women. Georgiana followed her in tow, and in a matter of seconds the rest broke off to join in all the fun.
I was left standing near the door, unsure of where to go or who to join. And to my relief, mother nor Adela were anywhere to be seen.
This was the perfect time to meet the others, but it was also a good chance to meet the only member of the royal family that I had not yet had the pleasure of meeting one on one, Princess Gwendolyn.
While I stood there on the verge of a nervous breakdown from over thinking everything, I felt someone appear to my left.
"I see you, too, have no idea what to do." Rheda smiled, her brilliantly white teeth sparkling in the candlelight as her piercing green eyes beamed with kindness. She, like myself, had been one of the few girls to have stood out the most during the unveiling.
"Indeed, I myself do not have that many friends and it seems my family has disappeared, so I have no idea where to begin." I softly laughed at myself.
"Well, then shall the three of us find the comfort of company in one another for the rest of the night?" Sheera, Rheda's cousin, added as she appeared on my right, nearly startling me.
"I think I would like that." I looked over the rest of the room once more, searching for Princess Corinna, knowing she was the one person in the room who would have readily accepted our intrusion. When I found her, she was sitting in a chair to the left of the queen, pretty much alone with no one attempting to talk to her. "I think Princess Corinna would not mind our company, what do you say?"
The two cousins looked at one another and nodded in agreement, then Rheda replied, "I would love to meet her."
I took the lead as we weaved through the many standing groups of women laughing and conversing loudly, garnering occasional scowls, following eyes, and eye-rolls from some of our fellow suitresses and their mothers.
On the way there we three grabbed a goblet and snagged a plate of an assortment of the food that was available to us and finally joined Corinna in the back left of the large room.
"Princess Corinna, I hope we are not a bother, but may we join you?" I asked before taking a seat.
"Of course, you may," The sad, bored look she once had on her face had brightened up, "who do I have the honor of conversing with tonight?"
"It is I, Emma Beckett." I took the seat to her right, reassuringly patting her hand that laid in her lap, then motioned for the other two to introduce themselves.
"And I Rheda de Marre." Rheda sat directly across the little table from Corinna on the soft blue tuft velvet couch.
"And last but not least, I Sheera de Marre." She took the seat next to Rheda.
"It is a pleasure to meet the two of you." Corrina smiled, "Please, tell me about yourselves."
The queen cut her eyes at me, as if I had done something wrong. However, I could not understand why. I had been nice to her daughter, even got some of the other suitresses to converse with her as well. But for some reason it seemed as if Corrina being alone wasn't by chance, but by design.
Though, no matter how much she disapproved, I had all intentions on continuing to be kind to Corrina. But it did make me wonder just how much she disapproved of my newly found friendship with Henry as well. Or perhaps, she was upset that I was spending more time with the children not of her own making instead of the ones that she had.
However, I could have been reading the situation all wrong, but if I had not, then I worried how long it would take before I was demanded to abandon my newly found friendships.