She felt herself drown in the calmness of the waters she floated on. Her clothes stuck on her body, her flyaways plastered on her forehead, and she stared at the crescent moon in the sky. So calm was the state in which she was in, that she didn't notice Rigon approach her, waddling into the waters.
"Azula?" Rigon spoke. "Are you okay?"
Since Azula had turned up, or rather they had turned up in her cell, he had felt the difference in her persona. She suddenly seemed mature, like she had grown a good few decades in the terms of mindsets.
"Hmm," Azula mumbled the answer without opening her eyes.
"Can we talk?"This time, her eyes shot open.
"Why." Her answer was clear and direct. But was that an answer?
"Because I know nothing about you apart from the fact that you are a dethroned princess who is also a war criminal. " Rigon declared as Azula stood up, the water reaching her waist. "I don't know who these people, who leave you in jail after promising to save you, who constantly put you in danger and you gladly accept it are. I need to know who they are, not their names or identities, but what they mean to you. "
Azula's fingers played with the tiny waves of water that crashed against her silhouette as she tried to avert her eyes from Regions.
"Azula." His voice always made her feel small. Not in a bad or a demeaning way, but in a way that made her want to be carefree and curious like a child. She was safe here. If she stumbled, she knew he would catch her. She felt, weirdly, as though he was her blood and bone. An elder brother.
"I'll tell." Her voice was so small that she herself was surprised. God, she thought, she had gotten so weak. But had she?
Rigon gave her a comforting smile, small and healing, then led the way to the bank of the river. Both of them sat beside the fire, produced by the courtesy of Azula, as it crackled when Azula started her story.
"I can't even remember how old I was when I first learned to firebend but what I do remember is that my father was proud of me, while my mother was scared. Before that, I hadn't even met my father in person. Why would I have? I was supposed to be a spare. When I was twelve, my father challenged my brother ( the word felt weird in her mouth.) to an Agni kai. My brother and I didn't have a good relationship, because we were rivals. If one thrived, the other could simply not. Our father made it that way. He scared Zuko for life. And I had to smile. I did. I...I actually wanted to. I know it's disgusting. How can a person smile when the smell of their burning blood and bone flesh is in the air, but I did. I smiled cause I thought, now I live. Now, I am the only one left. I can live without being scared. Free, even. But I can't, I couldn't. My father always made sure I had this hope of attaining acceptance and love from him, I didn't know that he was incapable of these things. I believed him blindly. He had been the only one in my life to trust and have hope in me, to recognize my potential. My Mother was more of a Zuko fan, my father was the closest thing I had to a family, soI tried, without rest, to make him satisfied, so that I could be loved. Then the Avatar happened. And I lost it. Everything I worked for was burnt, destroyed. I was nothing. I went mad. I was sent to a mental hospital. I was treated like dirt, no worse. Now that I had been something and then had been turned into garbage, people like to tease me with that. That, obviously, made me furious. The number of times I was chi-blocked, the number of times I was not fed, or had been close to being raped. It made me lose it. I wanted to take revenge. One of my brothers and my mother, who I always had blamed. And now more, as she brought that new mad, and her new daughter in front of me. I know that I have no right to say this but she dared to call Zuko with the nickname I gave him, she dared to look like me. How does she get more love than I do? Even she has talent, frightful talent for firebending but why is the mother not scared of her? Why was I the only one she is scared and ashamed of? I wanted to make that kid vanish. I tried, but I failed. In the mental hospital, I made some allies. Rouge is one of them. She was a peasant girl who was called a witch as she was a combustion bender. Something most people don't know. After That, I ran away. I came here. Then I was caught. And I was imprisoned. Forgotten. And now they need me. So now I'm here. Being used, all over again. It seems like being a tool, a weapon is all that's in my destiny so that I will do."
"No, you won't."
She looked up at him, slightly unsure of what he meant, and then shrugged.
"Azula, no listen." Rigon tried to regain her attention but Azula simply gave a slight shake of her head and looked away.
"Azula-" Rigon started again but Azula cut him.
"Riri, That is what I am, I decided to accept that. But I'm not completely useless. I'm a weapon, yes. But I can pull my own trigger. I can wield myself. I don't need anyone to help me with that. I accepted my fate and now it's your turn to decide whether you accept me this way."
With his lips sealed tightly, not knowing what to say exactly, Rigon simply nodded.