Back to reality for Loren after Pia left for Manila - research assistant work in the morning, lectures in the afternoon, and dissertation writing at night.
This routine never strayed for the most part, save for her weekly therapy session or the occasional museum visit or nature walk for inspiration. It's in this routine that Loren remembered how it feels how to have a normal life - not as Loren the persona she crafted to suit whatever her agenda was then, but Loren as herself.
Whatever free time she had left, like in the case now, is usually spent reading under one of the big trees found outside of campus or studying in the library, just like her days as a Broadcast Communication student at UP.
During one of her outdoor reading sessions, her phone's screen lit up when it received an email notification. It's some sort of marketing email, not one she's waiting for, but it's an excuse to stare at her current phone wallpaper - a photo of her and Pia kissing each other during their chocolate tasting tour in Chelsea.
On the outside, Loren's the epitome of grace and composure, hence her awards for being the "champion for resilience" back in the day. One thought of Pia, however, proved enough to turn her into a melting puddle of goo. "Sana nandito ka pa rin. Nakakamiss rin pala na kasama ka."
Loren cringed at herself upon hearing that. "Akala ko ba independent woman ka? Bakit parang patay na patay ka sa kanya ngayon?"
If such thoughts entered her mind a few years, she'd go into denial mode and throw herself into her work, as she always did. After two failed marriages and so many failed relationships, falling in love didn't seem like something that would happen to her again.
Alas, she ended up being that kind of person now. "Subsob na kung subsob."
Instead of beating herself up, Loren opened her phone and browsed a Philippine-based online flower shop. She then scrolled the listings before ordering a bouquet of pink pitimini roses to be delivered to Pia's Senate office tomorrow morning.
When asked what message to include in the bouquet, she typed a short message. "Dearest Pilar, kunwari na lang galing ito sa garden ko, but I guess it's the thought that counts. I hope your cheeks are as pink as these roses the moment you see them. Nagmamahal, Regina"
Loren placed the order and crossed her fingers that everything goes to plan.
Five minutes after, another email arrived, this time from the university registrar. Loren's heart jumped for joy and a big smile slowly appeared on her face upon seeing APPROVED in green print on the screen.
As soon as she did, she switched to her messages and texted Risa's number. "Hi Ris, good news - balik ako diyan next month. Na-approve ung request ko to do research work diyan sa PH."
Send.
Moments later, Risa replied. "Yay, Ate Lo! Bisita ka dito sa Senate?"
Loren then replied. "Oo naman. I miss seeing you in person. Don't tell Pia yet, ha? Ako magsasabi sa kanya sa next video call namin dalawa."
Send.
Risa replied back. "Of course, Ate. I miss you so much. Ang tahimik ng Fruit Salad bloc GC pag wala ka."
Upon seeing that last reply, Loren couldn't help but laugh, considering how quiet her notifications have been. She then sent her final message. "Gaga ka! Don't worry, babawi ako pagbalik ko next month. See you then!"
Send.
Loren's mind went into the many things she planned on doing the moment she steps foot in the Philippines like checking out the textile museum, visiting the Senate to see her friends, and growing vegetables on her small farm.
Most importantly, she gets to see Pia again for a bit longer than a couple of days.
Sure, London's where she's at now and it has treated her well, but her heart yearned for home more often than she would like to admit.
Not just home as in the country she left behind, but home as in the warm gaze of eyes that lit up when talking about races and the training she goes through before each one.
...as in the quiet charm that does away with the pompous gestures of performative "love" in favor of emails sent at the same time each day and carefully curated photo collages from events of years past.
...as in strong, strong arms, honed by decades of athletic discipline, that can carry a person to a beach to chase the sunset as easily as she could carry her own body when doing a headstand.
...as in the woman who ignited a fire inside Loren as much as she provided that soft landing.
Loren scoffed at the idea of finding a home in one person...until she did. And in a month's time, she gets to go home, in more than one sense of the word.