Shit I am late. "Crap," I said rushing out of my apartment fumbling for my phone. The 27th of March. I thought today was the 26th. I was so caught up in my papers, readings and essays I totally forgot I was supposed to meet the guys at the bar. I don't even remember why they told me we were meeting there. God, I'm such a fucking mess. So much to do. I shot a quick text to Zev telling him I was on my way. I've been neglecting the poor man too, I haven't seen him all week. I've been leaving for class an hour early on most days to chat with my TA's about current assignments and readings, and I stay late to study in the library. I feel so bad. Zev offered to walk to the bar with me but I had said I'd go alone. It would have been inconvenient for him to have to come all the way back just to walk with me. He had gone early to meet Ezra, they went somewhere before. Truthfully I don't know where they went, Zev told me but i've been kinda out of it lately.
It was dark outside, it being 10:30 and all, but it was nice weather. Spring felt as though it was right around the corner. Still need a light jacket though. I heard footsteps behind me as I walked down the street at a quick pace. The bar was a 15 minute walk away from the apartments. I glanced behind me and there was a lady with really blond hair walking far behind me. I think it was a lady, I mean the long hair was a giveaway, I could really only see the silhouette of a person. Hm, could have sworn I heard someone walking only a few feet behind me. Guess I really am going nuts. I shook my head then glanced behind me again, she was gone. Jesus let's just make it to this place alive.
After walking and getting lost in thoughts about the reading I had been trying to complete before I realized I was 20 mins late, I arrived at the front doors. They were a beautifully polished oakwood, heavy too. This was a beautiful bar. I walked in, greeted the bartender and scanned the place for the guys. The bar was mostly empty, odd for a Friday night. Ezra waved at me, Zev was sitting next to him and Levi sat across the four-seater table. I walked up to the table and took off my black bomber jacket resting it on the back of the chair.
"Hey guys, long time no see sorry I'm late, I forgot what day it was," I said taking a seat next to Levi. They all looked sort of nervous, even Ezra who almost never showed any emotion other than happiness or slight frustration. I rested my bare forearms on the shiny wooden table, sitting back in my chair stiffly. My back has been bugging me over the last few weeks.
"Nah don't worry about it dude, Levi was also late, just got here a few minutes ago," said Ezra as he fixed his black fedora, tucking the platinum strands of hair back where they belong.
"Not to be too forward but why are we here? One of you may have already told me but I forgot. I've been super busy so it's my bad." They all stayed silent and looked at each other nervously. "Are you guys up to something?" I asked, whenever Ezra is quiet you know something's up.
"Er, well you see Jasper," Ezra said. "We didn't tell you why we came here. If we had you might have not come." He smiled. Shit, what have I gotten myself into this time. "Don't get mad, but we wanted to get you out of the apartment for something other than class." His eyebrows raised and furrowed.
They pulled me out here for- I guess it's a nice gesture. I sighed, "Well thanks for thinking of me, I do appreciate it. I am just super busy you know, " I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "I should head back, I have to get a reading done." I went to stand and Levi grabbed my wrist gently.
"Jasper stay, you need a break from school just take a day or two off. You really don't look good. Your face looks hollow man. Please just stay with us for like an hour or something," He then released my arm, seeing all of them here looking at me like this, it would be cruel to leave. I took my seat again and sighed.
"Fine, but it's only because I miss you guys." I smiled looking at them all. Zev looked sad, I don't like to see him sad.
"Jasper you gotta take care of yourself," Zev said, shaking his head. "What did you eat today?" His brows furrowed.
What did I eat today? "I had oatmeal, and before I came over I ate a banana while doing a reading" I probably should have thought about my answer before I spoke so I could have lied. Zev and Levi's faces dropped. Now that I hear myself say it that is really bad.
"Jasper it's almost 11 at night," Levi said in disbelief.
"I knew you looked thinner," Zev said, then he pursed his lips together. The two of them looked so sad and disappointed, especially Zev. Ezra didn't really change his expression.
"I'm sorry, I was too busy to cook, I lost track of time." I haven't cooked consistently for the past two weeks, I've just been eating leftovers from when I do cook; fruits and vegetables. Things that require less time so I can continue my work as fast as possible.
"Jasper you can't do that," Zev said softly. "This reading you're doing, when is it due?" The reading I'm doing right now?
"A week from now exactly."
"So what the hell are you stressing about?" Levi said sternly.
"Jasper, look we know how important school is to you." Said Zev. "It's important to all of us, we pay a pretty penny to study here you know, but you gotta take care of yourself. You got into the law school you wanted with all your hard work, you have a 4.0 GPA for fuck sakes, taking time off to eat and sleep and maybe even have a little fun isn't going to make that drop." He ran his hand through his dark hair. "You're a week ahead anyways. Please just take the rest of the night and tomorrow off." I guess he does have a point. Plus you don't absorb information as easy when you're tired and hungry.
"Okay, but after that I need to go back to work." Zev smiled at my response.
"Great, I'm gonna order you a tub of wings, be right back." Before I could even protest or say anything Zev stood up and went around the corner to where you could order food. I sighed, putting my head down.
A few minutes after Zev came back the wings were set on the table. I thanked him for buying them and offered them some, they all said I have to eat them all because I haven't eaten all day. All I could do was stuff my face, Zev watched me eat in content.
"When you're done with the wings we can all order drinks and have a good time," Ezra said, raising his arms in the air.
"I dunno, I probably shouldn't drink," I said, covering my mouth as I spoke.
"Well yeah don't over do it," Ezra said rolling his eyes. "There's a party tomorrow, and you gotta be in good condition." Zev smiled at me hearing Ezra's words.
"Um I don't-" Ezra cut me off.
"Nooo come on man you gotta come this could be the last party of the year you'll come to, because things get busy again next month, then we graduate. This could be the last party ever for all four of us." His eyes were wide and sad at the same time.
He was definitely being dramatic, but it worked. I couldn't help but crack a smile. "Fine, calm down i'll go, but that's the last risky thing I do while I'm in the middle of a tsunami of work. I have to stay on top of my stuff." Ezra smiled brightly after I agreed.
"Ya hear that Levi the four of us are gonna go to a party together again," Ezra cheered. Levi returned his excitement with a soft smile, that he only ever gave Ezra. Honestly I should go to these parties more often, it makes Ezra so happy when all of us hangout like this, especially at parties. The last party we all went to together was the day when me and Zev got together, so it's been a while.
I finished the wings as fast as I could because I could tell Ezra wanted to order drinks. I am so full. This was definitely too much food, I feel like a pregnant lady. Zev seemed happy with himself.
We ordered drinks and despite Ezra saying we shouldn't over do it because of the party tomorrow both him and Levi ordered multiple rounds ending with the both of them being a tad drunk. Ezra more than Levi.
"Levi come dance with me!" Ezra said from the open area he was dancing in. He was dancing alone, no one else in the area. He was a fun, horny drunk, for him usually only good things happen when he's intoxicated. Levi surprisingly wasn't an angry drunk. He didn't really change much, if you did piss him off the result wasn't much different than when he was sober, but you won't find him dancing around enthusiastically like Ezra.
"No," Levi said leaning back in his seat. Me and Zev watched in amusement.
"Oh come on, dance with me I'm so lonely," Ezra put his arms out, then there was a glimmer of mischief in his eyes accompanied by a little smirk.
"Er dude don't look now but Ezra's at it again," Zev said with a snicker.
"What?" Levi looked over at Ezra who was striping his shirt off slowly. "Hey!, Stop that!" Levi yelled as he stood to go stop Ezra.
Ezra pulled his shirt over his head, letting his hat fall to the floor, and looked over his shoulder at Levi. "You said you didn't want to dance with me, so let me do as I please," he said softly. His cheeks were red from the alcohol. He started moving his body again ignoring Levi.
Ezra was so carefree, intoxicated or not, and everything always seemed to work out in his favor. He threw his shirt at Levi, landing on his head. There were a few cheers from the other guests and the bartender. "Come on Levi, let loose, have a little fun," he said with his arms raised over his head.
Levi pulled the shirt aggressively from his head. "Put your shirt back on," he almost growled at the shorter drunk idiot.
"Only if you dance with me," He put his arms over Levi's shoulders.
"You never stop messing around do you?" Levi asked, pulling the shirt over Ezra's head, messing up his hair. Ezra gave him a toothy smile before responding.
"Nope. life wouldn't be as fun if I did." He removed his arms from Levi's shoulders and put his shirt back on.
I turned back to Zev, finally getting to spend some time with him. "So how have you been doing?" I asked with a friendly smile.
"Shitty, Jasper, just shitty," he sighed, dropping his head.
"Oh, um I'm sorry, what's wrong?" I wish he had told me sooner, maybe school has been getting to him too.
"You." I was taken aback a bit. Me? "No sorry I don't mean it like that. I just haven't seen you, and now that I have, you look like 10 pounds lighter and exhausted. It makes me sad to see you like this." The last time he looked at me like this was when- When i ran away from him, when we were staying at my mum's place. Why did I run away? I can't remember, did that actually even happen, maybe it was just a dream. I always seem to make him sad.
"I'm sorry I-" He cut me off.
"No don't be sorry. I just want you to feel better that's all." He smiled softly down at the table. "I miss you," he looked up at me.
This makes my heart ache. "In maybe two weeks time I'll be less busy, and back to normal. I don't like being so distant from you either, but I have to get my work done." I grabbed his hand across the table. "I love you, and I miss you too. Things will be back to normal soon, so please hang in there." He gripped my hand tightly.
"Don't worry about me, worry about yourself first. You look sickly." He smiled raising a hand to my face, swiping his thumb under my bottom lip. "You sure as hell look a lot better after eating those wings." He smiled brightly putting his thumb in his mouth.
Did I have food on my face? I grabbed a napkin and wiped my face clean. I wish he had told me earlier. "Well now that I have you out of the house," he chugged the rest of his drink. "Let's have some fun." He stood up and pulled me to where Ezra was dancing, and where Levi was slightly swaying. There was a softer song playing now.
Zev grabbed my waist and pulled me close, I rested my arms over his shoulders. We swayed back and forth like you would at a highschool dance with your crush. "It's nice being close to you again," I said resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes.
We stayed like this for a while, then I opened my eyes to look around, something felt odd. I glanced up, Ezra was still dancing, Levi had sat down and ordered a few more drinks. There were a few people leaving the bar, one of which caught my eye. A man with platinum hair tied up into a bun. He looks familiar, I couldn't see his whole face but his side profile and his hair. Maybe he's in one of my classes. I put my head back down and just enjoyed Zev's warmth.
**********************
All four of us walked to Cole's for the party. I had struggled to follow the instructions the guys had given me to not to do any work, and take the day off. I won't tell them but I did finish my reading. In my defense it only took 30 minutes. I made three square meals for myself and Zev today. Brought him each on individually and we ate together.
All four of us met up outside Ezra's and Levi's apartment, and now we're arriving at Cole's front door.
"I'm just saying, it's not illegal if no one finds out," Ezra said, having a semi-heated argument with Levi. They've been fighting the whole walk.
"If you even so much as take off a sock, I'm calling the cops on you," Levi said sternly. I snickered at their stupid conversation. I'd love to know how they even started talking about this.
"Oh come on don't be a snitch," Ezra pouted.
Levi stopped at Cole's front door and turned to Ezra. "If stopping you from doing that shit makes me a snitch, so be it." He flung his arms in the air and walked through the threshold with a frustrated glare. He walked clean past Cole and went straight to where the drinks were.
Cole's eyes followed him then landed back on the three of us. "Ezra piss him off again?" Me and Zev both nodded in unison and Ezra shrugged with a happy smile. "The four of you are an odd group. I'm glad you're all back." He slapped Zev's shoulder. Ezra mosied on in making his way for the drink right behind Levi. "Congratulations by the way. I heard after the last time you two were here you've become an item. Honestly never would have guess either of you was gay in the slightest, but hey what do I know," Cole said with a genuine smile.
"Thanks," Zev said, putting his arm over my shoulder. "How'd you find out about that anyways?"
"Oh well it's kind well known I guess. I had actually heard you guys were dating before that day it turned out to just be a rumor, I actually had to ask Ezra. I'd have asked you guys myself but you're hard to track down. I don't see you every week like I see Ezra." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Ezra who was dancing with some girl. "Are my parties not cool enough for you guys?" He raised an eyebrow.
"No no no, it's not that," I said putting my hands up. "Not a fan of large gatherings is all." I smiled.
He sighed. "Yeah, I feel you," he shrugged weakly.
"Why do you have one every week then?" If he doesn't enjoy them what's the point.
"Don't get me wrong I do love meeting people and having everyone around, this house gets lonely after dark. But it's exhausting sometimes. I just love how happy it makes everyone to come here and be together, even if it's just a small group. Ezra is by far the most dedicated. Whether that be to alcohol, dancing or bitches I don't know, but I know it's gonna be a good time when he shows up. Anyways, sorry, now go enjoy yourselves," he smiled, placing his hands in his pocket and walking into the other room.
I think Cole isn't as lucky as I had previously thought. Maybe he does have some problems of his own. I mean yeah it's fucking lucky that he has his own house but he does live here alone, and yeah his parents are rich but distant. Maybe he's very lonely, and fills that by inviting people over to party. I have noticed he never really parties himself, he just chats with people. Doesn't normally drink either. I've never seen him drunk.
"We should hang out with Cole more often," I said, and Zev looked over at me.
"Yeah, he's a cool dude." He turned to me with a happy smile. "So I know you don't normally like to do this, but you're gonna get fucked up tonight," he went behind me pushing me by my shoulders.
"Er I dunno Zev, I don't like the whole hangover thing, plus I'm supposed to get back on my work tomor-," his eye were half lidded and his lips were pursed together. I rolled my eyes. "You know what, fine," his face lit up. "But you have to make sure that we get home okay, I don't wanna wake up in the back of a van or something. Like I said I have work to do tomorrow so I can't be getting murdered."
He laughed, "You worry way too much. So, we getting you high or drunk?" I'm not really a fan of either but I haven't been really drunk in a super long time, like I think the last time was in highschool. Like I don't even know what type of drunk I am.
"Drunk I guess, at least it's legal," I shrugged. "I heard someone had cocaine here." His eyes widened. "I don't want to try it, Jesus. You think I'd do something like that?" I chuckled light heartedly.
He sighed in relief. "Good, we're trying to get you fucked up for one night, not the rest of your life," he laughed.
We reached the mini bar. Ezra was still dancing up a storm and Levi was chatting up some girl.
Zev poured himself a shot of something and chugged it, his face scrunched up. "So what do you want?" He poured himself another gulping it down once again.
"Hey slow down, one of us should be at least kinda sober," I put my hand on his arm.
"No, we're getting fucked up together, I planned this out already, either Levi or Ezra will make sure we get home alive, plus even if they both get wasted, they always make it home after these things, and they both usually get drunk out of their minds. So we'll be fine. Let loose, you deserve it. Get drunk and forget all your stress." He raised his hands and looked up at the ceiling with a happy smile, one that was so carefree, naive almost.
"Alcohol isn't a good coping mechanism for stress," I said dryly.
"Oh come on I know that but still, just do it. When was the last time we got wasted together?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Never," Like I said before, I haven't been 'wasted' from alcohol since highschool, and it was only a few times, I hate hangovers.
"Exactly, so let's fucking do this!" He got a bigger red cup and filled it with that substance he was taking shots of, then he poured me the same.
This isn't gonna go well.
***************†******************
Zev was right, it feels nice to let loose. Speaking of Zev, where is that sexy son of a bitch.
I'm gonna make out with him when I find him. Haven't kissed him properly in like a week and a half. I threw out my empty cup that had been refiled with different beverages at least 6 times.
I stumbled around the house to find Zev dancing in the living room to the music. What a fine ass man.
I walked over to him and grabbed the lapels of his shirt pulling him in for a kiss. It was a deep kiss, my tongue was in his mouth almost instantly. He pulled my hips to his then, slipped his hand around to my ass.
I stumbled my way to where there was just a casual chair in the middle of the room, not breaking our kisses. I pushed him down in it. It felt like we were the only people in the world, or maybe I had tunnel vision.
"You are hot as fuck, I hope you know that!" I pointed at him aggressively. Then a new song came on that caught my attention. I don't quite remember the name of the song but I've definitely danced to this alone in the mirror, but no one needs to know that.
I started moving my hips, my eyes closed and the rest of my body followed. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, tossing it on the ground, leaving me in just my lower garments. I felt one of Zev's hands on my bare waist. I spun around slowly facing away from him. I feel so free. I lowered myself down onto his lap, grinding my ass into his crotch.
"Jasper you're so hot," he said, running his hands up my body one of them resting on my neck. I moved my hips in a circular motion then stood up and turned to face him. Letting my body move to the music I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, exposing his defined abs, strong chest and tattoos. God it's been so long since I've had him.
I got down in between his legs on my knees and looked up into his eyes. He had that look, the look I love so much, eyes dark with intensity, lips plump and soft. I ran my hands down his body. I slowly slid myself up, dragging my body between his legs and got into his lap. My knees on either side of his hips and my feet under my butt. I kissed his shoulder, neck, jaw, leaving dark purple marks as I made my way to his lips one more.
We kissed deeply, again our tongues dancing with each other. He grabbed my hips aggressively, grinding me down on him again. I let out a soft moan, I could feel how hard he was.
I had completely tuned out our surroundings, I forgot we weren't the only ones here. What brought me back were the cheers. Were they cheering at us? Sure enough they're words confirmed it. I pulled away from Zev's kiss still grinding against him and looked around. They were cheering for us, this is fun. Then a man in the corner caught my attention. it was the man with the white bun from the bar yesterday. Once again I could only see part of his face.
"Hey, you're the guy from the bar yesterday right!" I tried to yell over the music. His eyes met mine then he slipped out the front door.
"Who are you talking to?" Zev asked, cupping my face with his warm hands.
I looked back at the front door then back at Zev. "Meh no one I guess," I shrugged. Still he looks very familiar, but I guess I was right he does go to our school. Doesn't matter right now, but what does is the man whose lap I'm sitting in. I reconnected our lips, his were so soft. I ground myself down moaning against his lips.
"Where the hell are they? Oh... my god." That voice sounded familiar, Levi I think. Oh yeah I forgot him and Ezra were here. What good friends.
"Holy shit dude," I heard Ezra laugh. Wonder what they're up to? I guess it doesn't matter either, I want Zev to rail me right here and now.
"Jasper!" Levi yelled out to me. I ignored him, but then I felt something in my stomach. "He's gonna be so pissed when he sobers up." I pulled away from Zev and turned looking at Ezra who was on a whole other level of smiley and Levi who had a very worried look on his face.
I jumped off Zev and ran to the bathroom just making it in time to throw up in the toilet. Then everything kinda went black.
**********************************************
I was back in Zev's apartment with a bucket, water and some medication. I was sitting up in his bed, he sat nervously at the edge.
"I'm gonna kill you," I gowelled.
"Oh come it wasn't that bad," his eyebrows raised and scrunched together.
"I gave you a lapdance in front of all those people." Just thinking about it makes my face heat up. I can't believe that happened, i'm so goddamn embarrassed.
"Yeah," he looked off into the distance with a happy smile. "You did, I wish I could remember it more vividly. Can you do that again someti-" I cut him off by chucking a wet cloth at his head.
"Absolutely not!" I looked away from him. He moved to sit beside me.
"But you were hot," he rested his head on my shoulder. He smelt of boozs.
"I don't care. I'm also never drinking this much again. Why did I let you talk me into this?" I sighed. He raised his head from my shoulder rubbing my back.
"So you're saying you didn't have a good time at all?" He raised his eyebrows.
I hesitated. "Well, yeah it was kinda fun for like 20 minutes, but I don't know if it's worth all this barfing headache stuff, and I can only imagine what i'll feel like tomorrow morning," I leaned back against the headboard. "I did enjoy spending time with you," I looked over at him. "But next time let's avoid the overindulgence of alcohol," I smiled softly.
"Well don't worry too much about tomorrow, i'll take care of you," his voice was soothing.
As much as I'd love to trust his words one-hundred percent, I couldn't help but have a suspicion that he was going to hungover tomorrow too. Usually how it works. Either way I just want to sleep and forget the thing I did today, hopefully other people were too drunk to remember anything too. I gulped down the rest of my water then layed down without another word to Zev. I left the sheets down so he could join me.
"Er you're not actually mad at me right?" he asked cautiously. I glanced over my shoulder at him.
"No you idiot, now lay down and cuddle me." I turned back around closing my eyes. I heard him turn the lamp off then I felt his warm body press against mine. I cuddled closer to him, tangling our legs together. "I love you. Thank you for make me let loose a bit, i needed that. Minus the dancing part, that could have been left out." He pulled me close.
"I love you too. Glad you enjoyed yourself. Try not to over do it with the school stuff anymore, or we'll have to do this again," he chuckled weakly.
"I'll try."