Mom never took no for an answer. So, when she came into the kitchen grinning like that, I knew I was in for it.
She perched herself on the stool next to me and slapped four papers down on the kitchen counter. They each had barcodes on them.
Coupons maybe? No, not coupons. I stared at them blankly.
"Am I supposed to know what this is?" I asked.
Mom sighed, deeply disappointed in my cognitive skills. She pushed the papers closer to me as if their distance was the reason I didn't understand, pointed to a line of text, and said, "They're tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas."
She looked at me expectantly. I supposed she thought I would jump for joy, but I stayed seated on my stool and suppressed the urge to laugh at such a ridiculous proposition.
"Have fun," I said, choosing to believe that she was going without me.
She glared at me. "It's a family vacation, Marjo. You're going too."
I just shook my head. "I'll pass."
"Did you not hear me?" she said, getting annoyed. "It's a cruise to the Bahamas." Noting my still unenthused face she added, "And your ticket is already paid for."
Nothing a little door-to-door sales couldn't solve. I was a Girl Scout once.
"Give it to someone else," I suggested.
It was seldom that I agreed to be anywhere near the ocean let alone on top of it. Mom's obsession with the ocean made no sense to me.
Humans belonged on land. Why would we leave it? We had no chance against whatever horrendous sea creature was lurking in those waters, not to mention the water itself. Humans can't breathe water. Why does it feel like people keep forgetting that?
She crossed her arms and stared me down. The look of determination in her eyes was almost as fiery as the hair that framed her face. "Why don't you want to go?"
I sighed. I didn't want to have this conversation. "I've told you before," I said slowly. "I don't want to go on a cruise."
"You've never even been on one," she chided. "How could you know you don't like it?"
I didn't respond. I'd never been on one for a reason. The thought of being on the ocean terrified me. That had never changed.
"Well, it wasn't a suggestion," Mom continued impatiently. "So, pack a bag for a week-long cruise. We leave on Monday." I groaned and she gave me a stern look. "I never had the chance to do this when I was your age. You should be grateful."
I am grateful, I wanted to say. But this is your dream, not mine.
**
I lay on my bed, stretched out on my back, and stared at the ceiling. My suitcase sat in the corner of my room, mocking me. It was much too bright and much too early for this. I threw my hand up to shield my eyes from the morning light piercing through the window.
My brother bounced into my room, his brown hair flopping as he went. When he saw what I was doing, he furrowed his brow and the excitement faded away from his face.
"Get up!" he whined. "You're going to make us late!"
I lifted my head to look at him. He was wearing his favorite light blue T-shirt with a long, white wave across the front. Another reminder of what today was.
Cruise day.
The day I tormented myself by going onto the ocean. Why was I doing this again? Oh yeah, I didn't have a choice.
"Get up!" Luke demanded.
I threw a pillow at him. "Get out."
Luke caught the pillow and threw it back at me. Then, as eleven-year-old boys do, he plopped himself onto my bed, giving me the death stare until I finally got up.
"Happy now?" I asked, finally on my feet and sticking my tongue out at him.
He grinned. "Very." Finally, Luke shot up and trotted out of my room.
I stared at my closet. If I didn't start getting ready, both Mom and my brother would kill me. I threw on a pale purple sweatshirt and jean shorts.
I had tried to get out of this, but nothing worked. Mom anticipated all my tactics and even Dad wouldn't budge. I tried to lift my spirits by telling myself it wouldn't be that bad.
Maybe once I actually saw the ocean, it wouldn't be so scary anymore.
Maybe.
I had this nasty habit of lying to myself.
**
The entire two-hour car ride was Mom and Luke raving about how fun this trip was going to be. Dad was optimistic too, but certainly not as vocal about it. I didn't have much to contribute to the conversation, so I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
Eventually, the car hit a bump in the road and my head bounced off the car door. I woke up from the sharp pain.
"There it is! That's the ship! It's huge!" Luke screamed blissfully.
I looked out the window to see the ocean expanding before me. A shiver ran down my spine. It was never-ending. I almost didn't notice the giant cruise ship bobbing on top of the water with tiny, ant-like figures running across the decks.
Would I die if I jumped out of the car?
Mom was in awe, not even blinking as she studied the boat. "Isn't it just amazing?" she marveled. "What do you think, Marjo?"
I shrugged, barely even glancing at it. "It's fine, I guess." I wasn't sure she even heard my answer.
The real fear didn't kick in until we started approaching the boat. In the ample time it took to actually board it, my panic was rising.
Something could go wrong at any moment. I contemplated making a break back to the car, going to the "bathroom" and never coming back, or faking a horrible, infectious disease that would conveniently bar me from boarding the boat.
But we were already here. There was no point in going back now. It would be futile. My Mom would know.
My heart hammered faster in my chest and I grabbed onto Dad's arm for support. He automatically threw a friendly arm around my shoulders. I shut my eyes and let him lead me blindly up the ramp that was suspended over the water. Only when we were standing firm in the middle of the boat did I dare open my eyes. I let out the breath I was holding and looked around.
Twin staircases, rails wrapped in gold, led from the lobby up to another level. The floor was carpeted in some ornate pattern. People milled around the endless hallways and rooms, exploring, discovering. I didn't have time to be excited about it.
I was too busy trying to make sure I didn't puke.
It was nearly 4 PM already, and the first thing we did was drop off our suitcases in our room.
It's tiny, I thought, but Dad assured me that we'd only be in here to sleep. We'd spend most of our time doing the supposed plethora of activities available to us on the boat.
"I'm not sure that's much better," I concluded.
We set off to explore the boat. As much as everything inside me screamed to hide, I couldn't deny the twinge of curiosity as well. Besides, things were going okay so far. I hadn't shed a single tear yet.
Mom stopped abruptly at a poster in the hall, almost making the rest of us crash into each other.
"Look, Marjo! A Teens Club! That'll be fun for you. You can meet kids your age." I couldn't think of a more horrifying thing, but Mom continued, "We'll walk you to it so you can check it out."
No. Please no. But before I could even organize my thoughts, we were already there. It had been just around the corner.
Mom pushed me forward. "Go on, don't be shy."
"Mom," I protested. "I don't-"
She cut me off with a stern look. "Marjo, we came on this cruise to have fun, you're not just going to stay in our room the whole time. Now go in there and meet some friends."
"But I-"
"Look, if you don't like it, then you don't have to go again. But just try it," she compromised.
"Fine," I sighed, only because I didn't want to hear a lecture. "If you're that eager to get rid of me," I muttered.
"What was that?" she asked, even though she heard me perfectly well.
It wasn't worth the fight. "I just said goodbye," I lied, trying my best not to roll my eyes. I wanted to wipe the smug look off her face.
She started to walk away and Luke trailed behind her like a puppy. "Bye, honey. Have fun!" she called out cheerfully.
Yeah, we'll see about that, I thought. Dad patted me on the shoulder before abandoning me too. I took a deep breath before walking through the door.
Shockingly, people were actually here. Some of them were even smiling. Games were scattered around the room, including foosball and pool. There was a mini-fridge against the back wall filled with various sodas. A surprising surge of hope filled me.
But I didn't know anyone and I didn't know what to do with myself, so I made my way to the corner of the room to observe.
There was a group of girls, younger than me, who have probably known each other for years judging by the way they prodded at each other.
I sighed. I wished Nora was here.
Scratch that. I wished I was home with her.
Absentmindedly, I leaned against the wall.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BE-
I was falling suddenly, the wall moving away and an alarm ringing in my ears, sending panic coursing through my veins.
I regained my balance as fast as I could and looked at the wall that was not a wall at all, but a door. I had accidentally opened the emergency exit.
Heat rushed to my face with embarrassment. I closed the door, effectively stopping the alarm.
Reluctantly, I turned around to see if anyone noticed.
Everyone noticed.
Of course, they did, the damn alarm was deafening.
In my mortification, all I managed to do was whisper an apology, but that was enough for everyone to go back to whatever they were doing. For the group of girls to return to their inside jokes.
I heard a laugh to my side and jumped a little. I turned to see, for the first time, a boy in all black, sitting alone.
He wore a fitted T-shirt and jeans. His brown hair was long and forcibly pushed to the side on top of his head. He was handsome—not that it matters, I'm just saying.
The corner of his mouth tugged up into a smile. "Trying to escape?" he ribbed.
I sighed. "I wish I could."
"What? You don't like cruises?" he asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.
I made a cautious step toward him. "The thing about cruises is that they tend to be on the ocean."
He stared at me for a long second before saying, "You're scared of water."
His tone conveyed a statement, not a question, and I wasn't sure if I should answer. His eyes held a hint of sympathy—or maybe it was empathy. We looked at each other for a second longer before I pulled my gaze away and looked at my feet.
"Don't worry, the boat's not going to sink," he assured me.
"You don't know that it won't."
"You don't know that it will."
I frowned. "But it could. It's happened before. And if it does, we're toast. I don't know about you, but I can't tread water for days on end."
"They have safety precautions, you know. Lifeboats?" he suggested, cocking his head at me. "Ever heard of those?"
I scoffed. "I know what lifeboats are, thanks. But they don't ensure our safety. What if there aren't enough?"
"This isn't the Titanic."
"No, just the next one."
He shifted in his seat, facing me fully. "I have it on good authority that there are enough lifeboats for everyone."
"Okay. What if the lifeboat sinks? What if we're stuck out in the middle of the ocean for too long and we die of starvation? What if I get trampled and never make it to a lifeboat at all?"
He stared at me for a long moment, mouth slightly agape, before shaking his head, giving up. "Hey, if we die, we die. But try not to think about our inevitable deaths the whole cruise, will you? Aren't you here on vacation?"
"I'm here because some higher power hates me."
He gave me a look.
"Yes, I'm here on vacation," I answer. "Is there any other reason to be here?"
He shrugged and looked away from me, a piece of hair falling into his eyes. "I just mean it's supposed to be fun." Then, without saying anything else, he stood slowly and walked toward the exit.
I looked around, suddenly feeling very awkward and very alone. I didn't want to be in here anymore. Especially not after the door incident.
I strode toward the door—not the emergency exit, the entrance door this time—with full intention of leaving, not going after him even though we happened to be leaving at the same time.
If he was out there, then great. If not, it didn't make a difference to me. I silently cheered myself on as I pushed the door open.
A thud sounded and I was met with resistance.
I heard a groan as the boy stepped into view on the other side of the door. "Jesus! Why did you throw the door open so damn fast?"
Just my luck. Hitting this boy in the face with a door wasn't part of my mental plan.
Trying to defend myself, I said, "Well, what were you doing standing behind the door?"
"I was about to open it. I forgot my earbuds."
"Oh," I said dumbly.
The boy motioned with his hand. "Are you going to let me through?"
It dawned on me that I was standing in the middle of the doorway, blocking his path. I stepped aside wordlessly and watched him grab his old-fashioned earbuds off the couch before walking back toward me.
Even when his eyes landed on me again, I continued to stand there like an idiot, watching him. He suppressed a smile.
"Is there a reason you're watching my every move?" he mocked.
Heat rose in my cheeks again. I folded my arms across my chest as if they were armor. As if anything could protect me from his brazenness.
"I'm not," I said with as much contempt as I could muster.
"Right," he said patronizingly, no longer hiding his smile.
Insufferable. He is insufferable.
"What's your name anyway?" I blurted.
He shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
"It's basic information," I corrected, sticking out my hand. "I'm Marjo."
He looked at me. "You only need to know my name if we're friends." He leaned in and dropped his voice to a whisper not even glancing at my outstretched hand. "We're not." His smile lingered and, as quick as he left the first time, he was gone again.
**
I opened up my phone and pulled up my texts with Nora:
Unclear how I'm going to die. Either embarrassment or drowning probably. When I don't come back from this vacation, I'm leaving all my stuff to you.
A/N: Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, don't forget to vote and add this story to your Reading List. Follow me on Instagram (@reeseiswriting) to see when I update.