Prince's POV:
"P, you have to see this." Brian said to me a week later as I entered the car after a meeting in St. Paul about TIME. It was mid-afternoon and I had left Mya and Ian alone at Paisley Park. I tried to bring him with me and he cried and cried, screaming at one point when I took him out of Mya's sight. I found no reason to take him away from her and left them both after I helped Mya shower and kissed her goodbye.
"What?" I said, watching him playfully shake his head as the phone in his hand played a very loud Girl Can't Help It by Journey. When he turned it towards me, I felt my heartbeat quicken at what was on the screen. It was Mya was holding Ian in front of a full length mirror in one of the studios. She was dancing him around the room, her foot was dragging the ground, but she didn't notice. She was positioned in a way where he could fully see her and his giggles filled the room every time she moved, every time he caught sight of her in the mirror. His eyes were wide, and when he wasn't giggling, he would hum to show her how excited he was.
It was a text message from John. It read:
"Been like this for an hour now. Me and Eric are sitting in the corner like the third and fourth wheels we are. Can somebody please tell my bff that she's a damn good mother? Ocean eyes has been giggling like this since she started holding him. She thinks nobody notices. But..I do!
PS: please tell P not to kill me for recording. Hurry up so he can see it for himself."
I laughed to myself and licked my lips, trying to figure out how to work Brian's touch screen phone as my fingers hit one letter at a time.
"John, Eye'll let it slide this one time 4 U. Thx 4 sending this video 2 Brian 4 Me. Mya is my heart & soul. She is everything 2 Me. Eye think the one above 4 allowing me the 2nd chance 2 love her again, 2 help her in whichever way Eye possibly can, she is trying. Eye know it's hard 4 her. Eye'm working on showing her how good of a mother she is 2 Ian & how good she will b 2 our unborn child. Eye think she thinks that she is a burden 2 me and she is not. Some days are hard, but there's days like this that made me grateful 4 everything.
Eye am so proud of her.
1 step at a time.
See U soon.
-P."
-
The door to the studio was cracked open when me and Brian walked through the atrium and towards the sound of music flowing through the room. My eyebrows raised as I peered my head around the corner with Brian. Nobody had noticed us yet, but I could see Ian in Mya's shirt as she laid in the floor by John's arm, Eric was beside her, and although Ian was wide awake, she looked half asleep. "Johnson. Help me end a debate. Ready?" John mumbled, his lips in a straight line as a hum came from Mya's mouth.
"Dirty Dancing or Ghost?" He asked with his eyebrows raised, earning a laugh from Brian. "I'm being serious. Which one?"
Eric took Ian and Mya immediately flipped over onto her stomach, a silent indication that she was hurting somewhere and keeping it a secret. I frowned, but soon realized that John knew and was choosing to not draw attention to it, but was instead, distracting her. "D..Dirty Dancing."
"Oh come on! Dirty Dancing may be a classic, but Ghost is where it's at." Eric argued as he looked at the ceiling. Mya's head made it to the crease of John's arm. Her eyes closed. "I know Brian and P are standing there. Dirty Dancing or Ghost?" Eric asked, raising his body and cradling Ian at the same time, a smirk etched on his face.
Brian answered without hesitation. "Are you kidding? Dirty Dancing all the way." Mya laughed and mumbled I told you so under her breath, then a small smile graced her lips. "H..have you s..seen Patrick S..Swayze in t..that?"
John nodded. "You know what doll, I sure have and I'd would've taken him any day. He was my biggest celebrity crush and still is. He's so fine." She laughed again and hit his arm. In turn, Ian giggled. He was slowly getting up without Mya knowing and he asked Eric another question, all while removing his arm from under my wife's head. "Babe, celebrity crush. Go."
John sat with his legs crossed in the middle of the room and me and Brian just stood there in the doorway and listened to their conversation.
Just the three of them. It made me realize that John wasn't the only one that was protective over Mya, that those who had hung around us were the same. They had became family. But John and Mya had a connection that she didn't have with the others. He was never a threat to me. I knew that from the moment I met him. We both knew Mya Johnson differently and I had a feeling he'd protect her and those she loved at all costs with no questions asked. Myself and Ian included.
"Let Mya go. I don't know." Rolling his eyes, John asked Mya the same question with a playful look on his face as Eric left the room for a split second. "Excuse me, I know you ain't sleeping and you can't say P."
She answered with a laugh, but no hesitation and Brian snickered. "D..Depp."
My eyes widened in surprise.
"She's right babe. Johnny is everything and then some. Sorry not sorry." Eric mumbled jokingly as he reentered the room with a wide-eyed baby in his arms. "But after much thought, I'd have to say that Patrick Swayze is my celebrity crush. Regardless of if he was in Ghost or Dirty Dancing. That man..."
Mya shook her head and got up, eyeing me until her hand was in mine and her lips were inches away from my own, teasing me. "Hi mama." I whispered, smirking as I made the first move and kissed her, holding her waist due to the fact that she was leaning. "I've missed you." I said softly, ignoring the gagging noise coming from her friend's mouth as I sat on the floor, bringing her body in between my legs.
"You guys are sickening. Sickening I tell you." John mumbled, shaking his head and taking Ian away from his boyfriend. He started bouncing his knee, almost subconsciously. "So, Johnny Depp huh? I swore Swayze was gonna grace your lips for a second."
While John was talking to Eric and Brian with Ian occupied, I helped Mya up and discreetly made it out the door without anyone noticing. "W..where are we going?" She whispered playfully over my shoulder as I led her into the suite and then, the bathroom, where I slowly shut the door.
My fingertips unbuttoned the shirt that she was wearing and I noticed that each time I touched her, she'd wince away from me. "Am I hurting you?" I wasn't trying to hurt her or make her scared of me. "I..it's not y..you." I was confused and Mya sighed, looking away from me.
"I j..just hurt. That's a..all." She said softly, glancing at herself for a moment in the mirror, her eyes trailing down to my hands that rested on her stomach. A very faint smile appeared the longer she stared. "Penny for your thoughts?" I mumbled gently, kissing her shoulder blade before I laid my head on her shoulder, slowly taking both of her hands and resting them in the same position.
She asked me a question I wasn't expecting. One that still hurt my heart to answer, even today. "W..why is t..there a d..dolphin in y..your office?" My eyes closed, but I laughed at the way her question was formed. Our conversation in the NICU and our conversation in St. Kitts was fresh in my mind. I had told her about Amiir since her stroke. I had told her about him, about Mayté. But she was asking me again as if she didn't remember. As if I didn't tell her I thought he was Ian. As if she didn't sit with me when I mumbled my son's name.
I got offended, hurt by her question as tears filled my eyes. Instead of answering her, I reverted back to my old ways unintentionally and shut down, giving her attitude. The emotions I felt those two times we had discussed my son were ones I didn't wish to relive. I saw her question as taunting, as meanness. Even though I knew in my heart that she didn't mean it that way. She stared at me as I let go of her body and blinked away my tears. I had never truly dealt with Amiir's passing and her question about what was in my office triggered memories. The last time I saw him. The last time I held him and I became angry. The heartache of picking out something special for him.
"That's none of your business Mya. What are you doing snooping around my office anyways?" I said bluntly.
Her face fell, but we both stared at each other before I scoffed. "I..I'm s..sorry. I..I didn't..It s..sits o..on your s.shelf. I..it's ver..very pretty."
"You're always sorry. How about you don't ask those questions? Learn to not ask. How about that?" I stopped her from playing with my hands and walked into the bedroom. She never moved.
"I..I was just c..curious. I..it stands out l..lots a..and I..t..think..whe..when I p..picked it up..I.." My head whipped around at her statement and my eyes narrowed when I walked over to her. "You did what?" I said, my voice raised as she bowed her head at my tone.
"I..I..p..picked it up..I..I dus..dust i..it ever..every day f..for y..you." My heart was hurting and all I could envision was her dropping the one thing that was most sacred to me. "Don't touch it ever again Mya. I mean it. Don't touch it again. I just told you when we were in St. Kitts. Don't stand here and insult me by acting as if you don't remember that conversation!"
By the way she was acting, she truly didn't remember.
"I..I'm s..sorry P..I'm t..trying t..to.." In that moment, I didn't want to hear anything she was going to say. I knew she was trying.
"No, Mya. Stop. Stop apologizing. Stop saying you're trying. I don't want to hear any excuses. I'm..don't go into my office. Don't touch anything that doesn't belong to you. If you were trying, you wouldn't be taunting me like this." I said angrily, ignoring the stare coming from her eyes.
"Don't go into my office and touch anything again. Period." With that, I walked out into the hallway and shut the door with force before I made my way downstairs with thoughts running through my mind so quickly that my head was spinning.
-
It had been hours since John and Eric left. It was just me and Ian in Studio B at the piano. I had been writing and rewriting for what seemed like an eternity. He was wide-eyed and awake, responding to the sound of that the keys would make when they were pressed by humming. "Are you hungry buddy?" I whispered gently as I stopped playing to grab the bottle beside me. It was only my second time feeding him and when I put the bottle to his mouth, he took it instantly, staring at me with those big blue eyes of his.
I got up and abandoned my work responsibilities to spend time with him. I whispered softly as we walked up the stairs that led to the second floor of Paisley Park. I stopped outside my suite, where the door was propped open. "Mya?" I questioned quietly, placing Ian's bottle on one of the tables by the door and placing his head over my shoulder as I patted his back. The suite was dark except for a lamp that I always kept on. She wasn't anywhere in the room, but there were flash cards sitting in the floor, baby clothes neatly folded in the corner. The room was spotless, but Mya was nowhere to be found.
The bathroom was the same way. Spotless, but she wasn't there.
Ian's bottom lip started to move and my heart quickened as I went to the guest bedroom where she slept sometimes and walked into the room. It was untouched. "Mya?" I said loudly, bouncing our son so he wouldn't cry. He was that close to screaming because both rooms smelt like her, but he couldn't see her. I walked into the bathroom where she'd sit if she was hurting, but she wasn't there either. "Come on Mya, this isn't funny."
I walked back to the atrium and ran into Brian with a panicked look on my face. "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, noticing Ian's face as I took a breath. "I can't find Mya. S..she's not here." I whispered.
Brian stared at me. "What do you mean she's not here? She can't drive. She can't feel one side of her body. Why would she leave without telling somebody?" He asked, taking a now crying Ian out of my arms and narrowing his eyes at me. "You checked everywhere? The closets?" When I nodded, Brian sat down on the couch and pulled out his phone. He dialed a number and put the device up to his ear, holding Ian with his right arm.
Whoever's number he called, didn't answer, so he called several more times with no luck. So, he called another, who answered after the second ring. "John Wright. Where are you?" I couldn't hear anything he was saying, but I could tell by his face that John wasn't going to tell him. Before Brian could ask anymore, Eric was walking through the door. "I'll ask your boyfriend then."
Once he hung up, Brian watched Eric sit down before he took Ian and wrapped him in what looked like Mya's shirt. There was no threat of tears then. "Where's Mya and John at?" Eric was rocking his unofficial nephew back and forth and sighed, briefly glancing at us. "I'm being serious." Brian said.
"I was asked to not tell you and I've never broken my word until now. But..Mya has been having multiple mini strokes a day and has kept it to herself. This afternoon, P was in the studio and John went to check on her because she didn't sound right on the phone. He found her slumped over against the vanity. When he asked her who she was, she had no idea. Her pupil was almost blown, and you could tell she knew exactly what was happening to her." He mumbled sadly, continuing. "You asked me where she is? She's in the Stroke unit at St. Joseph's." My heart stopped for a moment's time until Eric's phone rang and indicated that he had an incoming video call. It was John.
"Hi babe. What are you doing in Mya's bed?" He asked with confusion. Seeing the screen, I could see John laying on his side, but he was slowly getting up. "Oh you know, just chilling." He said, a smirk made its way to his face and I rolled my eyes, which he caught sight of, but ignored as he stood. I heard her voice as soon as he went towards the door.
"B..Bye." Holding the phone with one hand, John frowned, then smirked again as he kissed her cheek. "What? Tired of me already? I'm just going to get a snack from the nurses station. You want anything? You want P to come instead? I know.." She wouldn't even let him finish his sentence before she answered him with no stutter.
"No," Mya was very adamant, very sure of her answer.
John's eyebrows raised but he nodded. "Geez okay. Want anything? They have ice cream up there and I think they have a chocolate bar." He was joking with her as if she wasn't laying in a hospital bed and it was something I didn't appreciate. "Actually, I'm going to run to P's real quick. You want me to bring you anything back? Clothes? Snacks? A squishy baby who's staring at my screen with wide eyes? I think he misses you." Mya nodded, and waved as John opened the door and waved back.
"Don't get up. You sure you don't want your husband up here?" He asked one more time, standing in the doorway.
She gave him the same answer from a minute ago. "No."
John stared at her then sighed and gave up. "Okay doll. I'll be back."
He waited until he was a good ways down the hallway before he spoke again. "I'm on my way and then maybe, Prince will tell me why Mya doesn't want him up here. I love you." John said to Eric before he hung up and the screen went black.
With the mood I was in, I didn't feel like playing games with anyone.
But little did I know what I was getting myself into by being sarcastic to the one who had brought Mya back from death's door on more than one occasion. Who had sat with her while she miscarried our baby. Who sat with her through her darkest moments.
Little did I know what I was about to witness by being sarcastic to the one who was there for the one I love when I wasn't.
-
Thirty minutes later, the man in question strolled through the lobby, then the atrium before he greeted Eric and laughed softly at Ian's noises for attention. Something about him annoyed me tonight and the tension in the air proved it. He stared like Mya and when he continued standing, I made the mistake of scoffing out loud. "Problem?" John asked me with sarcasm, his head tilted.
"Yeah, several actually." I said just as sarcastic. "First of all, I should be there instead of you. Secondly, I don't appreciate you making a joke out of her being in the hospital like this. Thirdly, I'd also appreciate it if you wouldn't go back tonight. Stop acting like her boyfriend. Last I checked, she's married and doesn't need protection from another man." John laughed with a smile, backing away from me before he spoke.
"Really? We're going to go there? Okay. Let's go outside so I don't curse in your home because you're hilarious." I huffed and for some reason, followed him out the door with Brian and Eric following closely behind. We stood by his car and he said nothing for at least a minute.
"First of all, you want to know why Mya wants me up there with her and not you? Because she said you were working and she didn't want to inconvenience you. But based on the way she answered me earlier, I now know that you two are fighting." He started. "Secondly, I'm sorry that I try to make light out of a very bad situation. Would you rather me sit there and watch her cry herself to sleep? I don't think so. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn what you think and I'm about to tell you why."
He took one step and stopped. "Thirdly, she doesn't want to see you. What do you expect me to do, leave her there? Thirdly part two, I don't act like her boyfriend but I'm so flattered that you think I do. I act like a true friend, something she obviously doesn't have in her man. She is married, but let me tell you this. I've failed Mya Johnson more than I care to admit. The last thing I'm going to do is stop protecting her and those she loves, which now include three additional people. I will happily do that with no questions asked."
He slightly frowned. "You don't think she knows she's been slipping P? She's slipping bad and she damn well knows it. Her issues didn't just appear from this stroke. She's had brain damage and mini strokes ever since she was in her teens. Do you even know who the chick is that you married? She's had a bleed in her brain ever since then too. From what? Her father. You have no idea who Mya really is. Whatever you guys are fighting about, about her not remembering when you just told her something, it's because she doesn't remember. Do you even know her?" He asked in a light tone.
"Of course I.." John stopped me.
"Do you know that she was frequently waterboarded? Tazed? Burned? Whipped? Do you know that he pimped her out? That she dealt dope for him? Do you know that he'd pile alcohol and drugs on her but would withhold food and the only time she'd eat is while she was with you?Do you know that she wouldn't talk unless spoken to because he'd tell those around to not talk to her? Do you know that he'd beat her so bad that he'd dislocate her hips just for fun when she'd reject his business? Do you know that he found satisfaction in hurting his daughter so bad that she could barely function, let alone, see you? Do you know that when CPS removed her for the last time, the social worker said it was the worst case of child abuse he'd ever seen? But she was placed right back. Do you know that when she'd go home after seeing you, he'd 'make her pay' by not only physically abusing her, but by doing other things. Who do you think she came to after?"
He was inches from me. "She came to me, even when you were her boyfriend. She came to my house, where I'd sit with her for hours, and as she would lay in my shower and hold my hand, she'd talk to me about the most random things. She'd make jokes. She'd make light out of a horrid situation until sleep took over. Who do you think laid in her hospital bed after Malcom did what he did? Who do you think slept with her in closets when she'd get scared? Me. I'm not trying to be rude to you Prince. But as I told Mrs. Graham, I never wanted Mya. I wanted to be her friend. Never anything more. But if I offend you by being around, tell me and I'm out."
I shook my head. "She was asking me about why there's a dolphin in my office." I mumbled, glancing at John. "She said she picks it up and dusts it every day. Is that true?"
His eyes narrowed. "Every day. Actually..she talks to it sometimes. When she's excited or happy about something I'll hear her just talking away. She's taken Ian in there a couple times. But..when she dusts it, she always makes someone else hold it because she says it's too pretty." John replies.
"It's very special to me." I whispered. "When she asked me, I..I yelled at her for it. I told her to never pick it up again and to not touch things that weren't hers. I..I had told her about it a couple weeks ago. I told her she was asking me out of meanness. I told her she wasn't trying hard enough. But that's not true. I know she's trying. I know she's trying and I shouldn't of said those things to her. She's everything to me. But I haven't been treating her as I should be. I should've known." I whispered, closing my eyes and running my hands over my face.
"I love her more than I could ever express. Her doctors have told me to not treat her differently because of her deficits and it's just occurred to me what I've been doing." Realization hit within seconds and I felt my heart sink.
I haven't been treating her as my wife, as my significant other. But instead, I've been viewing her as just somebody I care for.
John sighed and opened his passenger door. "I know you do. Get your ass in this car and I'll take you to be with her. I have ocean eyes."
Nodding, I got into the passenger side without a word. Eric agreed to stay with Brian until John returned and soon, we were off to St. Joseph's Hospital with my heart in my stomach.
-
They say the senses can trigger memories. I never believed that statement, until I was in a situation that was dejavú. As I walked up the elevator to the stroke unit, the smell of disinfectant filled my nose. The harsh white walls hurt my eyes. The beeping of patients' heart monitors mixed with my footsteps filled my ears. My breathing became ragged when I stood outside of Mya's room. My hurtful words that I said to her suffocated me as I turned the doorknob. "I'll be somewhere around here. Remember, you guys are practically one. If you're genuine, she will know that."
He clasped my shoulder and smiled softly before he walked away and sat slash laid on a bench across from her room, sending me a smirk before he yelled. "Eric and Brian have my favorite human. She was half asleep when I left her. I'll stay here just in case you need a ride back and she kicks you out." I nodded and finally, turned the doorknob.
Her heart monitor was silently alarming, flashing red. She had a blue band around her stomach, and a IV in her arm. I sat down in the chair next to her bed, watching her chest softly rise and fall with each breath. Her body was fully covered, her one hand rested on her belly and the arm she couldn't feel yet was at her side. She looked stressed, the twisted look on her face got tighter with each moment that passed and guilt coursed through my veins.
"Oh Mya, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered over and over again with my head in my hands, my elbows on her bed. "I'm so sorry. For everything. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." My bottom lip shook as my hand did the same. My whole body tried to suppress the heart wrenching sob that was at the base of my throat, but I failed and covered my mouth in hopes she didn't hear me crying.
I felt like the worst person in the world.
"I'm so sorry." I cried. I felt like I couldn't catch a breath. My world felt as though it was crumbling.
I had everything, but I was loosing it at the same time.
I didn't feel Mya move, nor did I feel her get up. But, I felt her lay us both down in the tiny chair and softly kiss my lips. "D..don't cry P." She replied, laying her head in the middle of my chest and finding my hand. "I..it's okay."
I turned my head. Her blue and hazel eyes were mixed with tears. Her phone was buzzing on the bedside table and I picked it up, but she shook her head. "N..No. J..Just lay with m..me."
My arms wrapped around her body and I rocked her slowly, swaying us back and forth until her eyes closed. I felt her snuggle more into my body until her legs were once again entangled with mine, her hand was the same. Light snores filled her hospital room.
"H..Hey P?" Mya whispered a couple hours later, waking me up. We were in the same spot and same position. Just with a different blanket. One that was warm and not cold.
"Yes?" I replied.
"I..I didn't m..mean t..to hurt y..your feelings..I..I..I that dolphin is so pretty t..that I..I I'm sorry. I..." I immediately shh'd her softly.
"No mama. I'm sorry. You didn't hurt my feelings. I shouldn't of said anything to you. I should've answered you. Don't apologize. Please." My hand rubbed her stomach along the tender areas that I knew hurt her.
"C..Can you t..tell me w..what..i..it i..is? I w..won't tell a..anybody. P..promise." My eyes closed, but my heart was screaming at me to let her in. To tell her things I'd never told anyone. So, with my eyes hiding tears from the one I loved, I told her about the blue baby dolphin that has sat in my office since October of 1996.
-
Twenty-One - "TIME" is here. I tried so hard to make this happy for you guys. I rewrote at least five times. My heart hurts, but this is the way it turned out.
Until next time..
💜