"Okay, what do you think about this? Ready? Brace yourself!" I said teasingly, bringing Mya's body closer to mine as I laid on my stomach in Studio B that afternoon, relishing in the moment we were having. I felt like I did when we first started dating: pure happiness and I was desperate to hold on to that feeling when I propped her left arm up on mine and smiled. "It goes like this.."
Clearing my throat, I had also developed the habit of playing with her hands and found myself doing it as I sang the opening line to one of the songs from Purple Rain that didn't get much recognition, one that I always used to hear her mumble under her breath with a sly smile, but a line that held so much truth, especially for me. "Here I go again, falling in love all over.." I whispered softly, laughing softly when she tried to smile in response to my whisper. As much as I loved being on stage and performing, it was the furthest from my mind as I laid in front of the woman who had always had my heart and soul. Brian's talk with her opened my eyes and made me realize that my priorities had always been in the wrong place and also made me realize that music was always going to be there, but the people I cherished most, may not be. "Come on," I said, getting up off the floor and pulling Mya up slowly before I held her waist and smiled encouragingly when she looked at me.
"Slow and steady, remember?" I whispered, feeling her left leg drag as I discreetly helped her walk out the door and towards the atrium. I knew she was frustrated, I sensed it with each step until we made it to our destination and sat on the couch by The Little Kitchen. "I'll be right back," Leaving Mya to go into the kitchen, I smiled when I found what I was looking for and grabbed two before returning to the couch, which was preoccupied with Brian and the baby I had been calling Ian in my head. Brian was whispering something to Mya and then softly placed baby P in her arms, who was so excited that she was finally giving him attention. He was soaking in every minute and didn't even look in my direction when I handed Mya a peanut butter rice crispy treat and sat on the arm of the couch.
His hand gripped her finger and never left throughout the whole time we sat there, and I watched the internal struggle in her mind unfold as she tried to hand him back to Brian, who refused to take him. She then turned to me and gestured to baby P, who did not want any part in being moved out of her embrace. "He wants you, he doesn't want me." I whispered gently, wiping her tears with my thumb as she stared at me, then down at the baby looking directly at her, making noises with his mouth that made me smile. "You're okay my love. I promise you." Brian got up before she could notice and left us alone. She didn't want him anymore and handed him to me very hesitantly, as if she was doubting her decision before she put him in my arms. He hated me in that moment and cried, screamed, curled his body, even when I walked him around and sang to him. He wanted her and my eyes watered the more his cries echoed off the walls.
"I'm sorry buddy, I'm trying. Okay? I'm trying." I whispered. My voice cracked as I spoke and took the elevator upstairs to the suite after seeing Brian help Mya walk around the corner a few minutes prior. My heels clicked against the floor and I stopped mid-stride when I heard voices coming from the guest bedroom. The door was cracked open and baby P knew Mya was there because he heard her, but she was crying and I frowned instantly.
"Who told you that? Mya sweetheart that's not true. Why do you think P feels that way? Furthermore, you know I love you and I don't feel that way either. Tell me, please." Leaning against the doorframe, my ears perked up and my mind raced with possible scenarios for what Brian was talking about, until I didn't hear a reply. "I hate to see you cry like this, please tell me so I can help." Slowly opening the door, Brian turned towards me with narrowed eyes and I licked my lips, ignoring the tension in the room and placing baby P on the bed near Mya's right arm before I felt Brian's stare continue and heard him begin to talk in a harsh tone, directed towards me.
