Being with Four the next few days were one of the moments I will be treasuring. He told me about Neeca and all I can say is that they are the real definition of right person at wrong time.
Naniniwala ako sa ganoong kasabihan. It's not a hoax. It can happen in real life especially if the two person will eventually feel that the one they are fighting for is not working anymore. Na iisipin na lang nilang parang walang napapatunguhan lahat.
And I think that's the saddest one. Imagine, you're building your future with that person, having a family as well as planning of what kind of wedding you both want to happen and then will end up in a tragic ending.
Isipin na lang na kung gaano kasakit iyon sa parte ng dalawang tao.
If I am on that situation, I will end up being heartbroken for the rest of my life. Na kapag iyong taong gusto kong makasama sa susunod, lalo na kapag unang minahal sa buong buhay tapos napagplanuhan mo na rin ang lahat kasama siya ay hindi man lang hahantong sa harap ng altar, hindi na ako magmamahal ulit.
Kung ganoon lang din naman ang ideya ng pagmamahal, mas mabuting hindi na lang ako magmahal ulit kung hindi ang taong iyon ang makakatuluyan ko.
It just sucks to know that the thing you badly want to happen ends up in something you didn't expect like turning on each other's back after a long year in the phase of love. Hindi ko pa man nararanasan ngayon pero kung iisipin mo, napakasakit nga talaga.
"And that's what we'll watch now," saad nito nang tuluyang dumilim na ang buong room. Nasa apartment niya kami ngayon at manonood ng movie. We're not going to do something here. We'll just watch the movie he suggested.
Umupo ito sa tabi ko. Nakasandal kaming dalawa ngayon sa sofa tapos sa harap namin iyong drinks tapos popcorn na binili pa niya sa labas kanina. Pareho kaming walang klase kaya dito ang bagsak namin kaagad.
Pareho pa kaming nakasuot ng uniporme.
"Sure kang hindi mo napanood 'yan? Baka naman tapos na kaya papanoorin mo ulit?"
"Tss. Hindi, syempre. Nilagay ko sa lists kasi gusto ko ngang panoorin kasama ka."
Naka-on ang aircon nito kaya't tamang kuha lang ng kumot. Pareho kaming nababalot no'n ngayon kaya naman kahit papaano ay hindi kami nilalamig pareho.
Iyong apartment niya ay medyo may kalayuan sa school pero syempre, dahil may kotse siya, hindi na siya nahihirapan sa pagpunta pa. Ang hirap pa naman dito kapag traffic. Wala kang masakyan kasi punuan palagi dahil sa mga estudyante.
I blushed a bit at the thought of Four's want to watch the movie with me. Of all people, why me? Pasimple lang akong yumuko at kunwaring hinawakan ang drinks dahil sa kaunting hiyang namutawi sa akin. I bit the inside of my cheek and chewed my lower lip as if I can recover from what he said.
Syempre, may hiya pa naman ako. Hindi naman kasi ako nag-expect na sasabihin niya iyon tapos sa kalagitnaan pa rito? Tingin niya ba hindi ako naaapektuhan?
Nang mag-umpisa na iyong pinapanood at tumutok kaming dalawa. It's a romance movie but not the 'making love' type. Sakto lang ang mga scenes tapos hindi naman masyadong rated SPG. Well, I like his choice of movie because it somehow relates to my situation now.
We both know that we like each other. Just like in the movie, the two main characters also likes each other and doing moments that a couple should do where in fact, we're not still on that stage as of now.
Sa kalagitnaan lang no'n ay hindi ko namalayan ang sunod niyang ginawa. Inalis niya ang kumot na nakabalot sa aming dalawa, tumayo saka niya in-adjust iyong temperatura ng aircon. Pagkatapos ay bumalik ito sa pwesto namin pero iba na ang kanyang ginawa.
Imbes na maupo sa tabi ko at prenteng manood ng movie ay hindi nangyari. Kusa lang itong humiga sa mga binti kong prente ang pagkakapwesto. Iyong mukha niya ngayon ay nakaharap sa akin, pinagmamasdan mula sa kanyang kinalalagyan.
He's looking up at me while I slowly started looking down at him with a bit of confusion. Napalunok ako nang wala sa oras, kadahilanang pati iyon ay napansin niya at tumawa ng bahagya.
"I'm just lying here. Bakit kinakabahan ka naman yata?" he asked as we both heard the two people's sound while kissing on the screen. Naghahalikan na pala iyong scene sa pinapanood namin.
"H-hindi naman..." I gulped hardly again, unable to make everything be calm. Jusko, para akong hihimatayin sa uri ng pagtitig niya ngayon sa akin. I suddenly became conscious of my appearance. Naisip kong medyo madilim naman kaya hindi niya kita masyado ang mukha ko.
"Sus, hindi ka nga makadugtong sa isasagot mo. Iyan ba ang hindi kinakabahan? Sige ka, baka mahalikan kita—"
I gasped when I heard a moan. Sobrang lakas no'n sa pandinig ko kaya naman ay dumako ang mata ko sa telebisyon ngayon.
Para kaming nanonood ngayon ng sex scene. I mean, not totally a sex scene. Hindi naman nakahubad iyong mga bida. They're just on the bed, kissing torridly while the girl is moaning like it's one of the best things that ever happened to her.
Natawa na lang ako dahil pareho naming hindi alam ang flow ng movie. Even Four nailed a laugh. Tumatawa kahit na hindi naman nakakatawa iyong pinapanood namin.
"So, what do you know about kissing? O may ideya ka ba?" he asked out of his curiosity. I looked down at him again only to see that by the looks of his eyes, he seems admiring my top view from him.
Napalunok ulit ako.
"Torrid saka smack lang alam ko. May iba pa bang klase ng halik?" balik tanong ko rito.
Well, totoo naman. Ganoon lang ang alam ko. Do I need to learn different types of kisses? Saan ko naman gagamitin iyon kung ganoon?
"Hmm. In life, you needed to learn that since you know, if you wanted to feel the lips of someone you admire, you should have a knowledge on how to perform that. Paano na lang kung gusto mong halikan iyong tao tapos hindi ka marunong?"
"Oh? Eh anong problema sa hindi marunong humalik? Pwede mo namang sundin na lang iyong galaw ng labi ng hinahalikan mo. It doesn't need a tutorial for you to learn," sagot ko rito dahil iyon naman ang totoo.
Para sa akin, iyong halik ay mabilis matutunan. It's not a skill that requires learning. Para sa akin lang naman.
Dinig ko ang pagtutol nito roon. He moved a bit and then we can still hear the muffled moans as if we're watching pornography now. Nang binalik ko ang tingin sa kanya ulit, nasa akin pa rin iyong titig niya, hindi inaalis.
There's nothing wrong with my face aside from having tiny pimples. Iyon lang naman pero kung makatitig, parang gusto na akong lamunin ng buo. Bakit sa akin kailangang i-focus kung nasa harap naman niya ang dapat panoorin?
"Then you will follow the movement of my lips? Hmm?"
He started grinning after that. Dahil sa ilaw na nagmumula sa tv ay kitang-kita ko ang pagngisi nito sa akin, dahilan kung bakit napasinghap ako nang biglaan.
"Pinagsasabi—"
I lost. Bago pa ako makatapos ng sasabihin ay biglaan na niyang isinara ang distansya sa pagitan naming dalawa. His movements were too fast, not allowing me to brace myself and I ended up being clueless while his lips reached mine, already fulfilling what he said.
Sa sobrang gulat na naramdaman ay iyong mga mata ko ay nakabukas samantalang siya at ninanamnam ang sandaling iyon. His lip is so soft even if it's not moving as of now. I can taste the soda from it and it even got more tasty coming from his lips.
Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang damit niya. In the middle of kissing him and when he finally chose to move his lips, my lips trembled as if I am being intimidated by him.
Sa bawat ritmong ginagawa nito ay lalo akong bumibigay. Iyong kamay niya ay napapunta na sa pisngi ko ngayon, hinawakan ng marahan habang lumilikha na ng tunog iyong ginagawa naming dalawa.
It's a bit similar from what we are watching, minus the moaning scene. Nakalimutan na yata naming may movie kaming pinapanood kung kaya't pareho kaming nalulunod sa bawat pakiramdam ng labi sa isa't isa.
His kiss is way too addicted while mine is too shallow, too simple because I am following his movements only. Hindi ko alam kung nag e-enjoy ba ito o hindi. But based from the movements he's performing, I doubt he's not liking what's happening between us.
He started entering my mouth the moment he put his finger on my chin as if allowing me to kiss him more passionately. Nadadala ako sa mga kilos ng labi niya at hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako pumapalag. Kung bakit hindi ako lumayo at pinagpatuloy ang nangyayari ngayon.
I mean, his lips performs so well to the point that I am pulling him slowly to me. Patuloy sa paggalaw ang mga labi namin, sinusunod ang ritmo ng bawat isa na parang wala nang kinabukasan pa. I cannot stop the moment. I cannot make him stop because without admitting it, I am drooling over his kisses.
His soft kiss made me believe that whatever I'm reading on a book before is close to reality, close to what I am feeling now.
Palalim ng palalim iyon ay siya ring paggalaw ng kanyang kamay. We continued kissing like we're both hungry for the kiss. I can feel something from him, a normal thing from men whenever they're performing something that may trigger this to happen.
I can feel it poking on my stomach now that he's on top of me! I can feel it in reality! Four is having a hard on!
He began pulling up my white uniform on top and searched for whatever his hand is finding for. He started unclasping my bra as we are both continuing the kiss we both started earlier.
And damn it! Hindi niya man lang napapakiramdaman ang sarili niyang tinitigasan na! It feels awkward and at the same time normal for me.
Normal sa lalaki iyan.
I breathed for an air when he cupped my breasts. His cold hand did it easily and I cannot stop but to feel his kisses more. His moving lips is shutting me up to moan fully, to release the feeling I am feeling as of the moment.
He's like massaging it in a gentle manner, not making me feel he's being aggressive the moment he felt my breasts on his palms. Our kisses made some sounds and that made me release a short moan.
Tumigil ito panandalian nang madinig iyon. We both stared at each other as his palms continued massaging me. He smiled shyly and continued the kiss for the last time before he gave me the smack. It was his cue to finally stop because after that, he arranged my bra and pulled down my uniform.
We are both in our white uniforms while making out here. Umalis ito sa ibabaw ko at bumalik sa tabi ko, sumandal sa sofa na nasa likuran namin pareho. Pareho naming habol ang hininga pagkatapos. He held my hand tightly while I remained quiet, realizing what we have done.
Gosh. Naghalikan ba kami talaga ni Four?
"Don't tell me you're not satisfied?" he teased me as I went back staring straightly at the television. Normal na scene na iyon.
I blinked a few times as I gulped hardly again. Para akong sinuntok ng lamig ngayon dahil unti-unting bumabalik sa katinuan ang isip ko.
That was near! Sobrang lapit na niyon bago may mangyari! What are we doing in the middle of watching a movie?
"Akala ko halik lang kasi," mahina kong pagkakasabi. Up until now, I can feel his cold hands massaging inside me. Nakakawala sa tamang huwisyo.
"I'm sorry if I went that way. That's why I stopped because I know, we're both not in control earlier. Pasensya ka na, nadala lang talaga sa halik."
"Just... just don't end up fucking me," I said with truthfulness in my voice. Ito naman ngayon ang napasinghap sa sinabi ko.
Totoo naman iyon. I still don't want to be a mother of my child at this age. Too young. May plano ako kung anong edad ang gusto kong magkaanak at hindi iyon ngayon.
This is just a moment of curiosities. Not something I can stand for the rest of my life.
Dahil paniguradong madi-disappoint ko si tita kapag nagkataon.
"What the hell?" He started laughing at my statement. "Alaine, I won't do that to you. We're too young and isa pa, there are still years ahead of us. I mean, nadala lang ako kanina sa nagawa ko. I was just planning to kiss you—"
"Yeah, I know. Did you know that that was my first time?" I revealed, only to see his shocked reaction of the fact I said.
First time tapos sa kanya pa. Wow. What a gift for me. Ano na lang ang sasabihin sa akin ni tita?
Ngayon ko pa talaga naisip kung kailan tapos na.