Adriana
"So, Adriana. Your chances of becoming pregnant are lowering."
"Why is that?" I ask
"You're losing eggs too quickly. Good news is there's no signs that you'll have complications during a pregnancy or birth. You may just have trouble conceiving," the doctor tells me
The doctor keeps talking, but I zone out.
Some words sneak in like "You'll be more lucky before you turn 40," " Menopause will probably be early," "It's best to start now."
I don't realize the appointments over until Damien's hand leaves mine and rubs my back.
"We should go get some food," Damien suggests, helping me put on my jacket.
"I'm not hungry," I shake my head. "I wanna go home and lay in bed and do nothing."
"What about shopping? We can go to Dior and get you a new purse," He grabs my hands and holds them.
"Ok," I nod
We leave the doctors office and head to Damien's car. It's the end of March so it's slowly getting warmer.
Today's a bit gloomy and chilly. It's my favourite weather when I'm in a good mood.
Today, it just matches my mood.
During the car ride to the store, Damien holds my hand, but doesn't say anything. I don't think he knows what to say.
When we get to the store, we're greeted by staff. They take us towards the purses, but I can't help but notice some of the baby clothes.
I imagine what it would be like to buy clothes for a new born. The feeling of joy and excitement.
"Gorgeous... Why don't we get something for the princess? A matching purse," Damien offers
"Yeah. Can we get something for the boys too?" I ask
"Whatever you'd like," Damien smiles at me and holds out his hand. I take it and we look at the purses and clothes.
Seeing Damien's smile reminds me that everything's gonna be alright. As long as I have him, everything will be alright.
I pick out two purses each for me and Flavia and a couple of shirts for the boys.
"Wanna go anywhere else?" Damien asks as we put the bags in the trunk of his car
"Not really," I shake my head
"Ok. That's fine," he says, before his phone rings. Damien opens the passenger door for me while answering his phone.
"Carvelli," he closes the door when I get in and goes to the driver side. "Ok... Is she still crying?.. ok...I understand, I'll be there in a few."
"What happened?" I ask
"Flavia is having a meltdown... First she was asking for Ethan, they brought Ethan to the class. But she wouldn't stop crying and now they say she's asking for you."
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When Damien and I get to the classroom, we hear crying. We already know it's Flavia's.
Damien knocks on the door and it immediately opens.
"Thank you for coming," the teacher says
"Adriana!" I look behind the teacher and see Flavia running towards me.
"What's wrong, Princess?" I bend down and catch her in my arms.
She holds onto me tightly, like she's scared.
I pick her up and we move away from the door, into the hall.
"Princesses... shouldn't be... crying," Flavia whispers, in between hiccups
"It's ok to cry. I still cry sometimes. Everyone does and it's just fine," I tell her. "Wanna tell me what's wrong? Princess to Princess?"
"The girls were talking about their mommy's and they were asking about mine," she tells
My heart breaks.
"And how did that make you feel?" I ask, rubbing her back.
"It made my heart hurt. Like it felt like it was squeezing. And I felt jealous and sad," she starts to cry again
"Oh, sweetheart. And did you want me here for comfort? How come you asked for me and not your daddy?" I ask
"Because I remembered that you're like my mommy and then I started to miss you," she cries
That feeling of my heart being squeezed comes and I can't help but let tears well in my eyes.
I kiss her cheek many times as I hold her against me.
"I think your daddy wants to make sure you're ok. You tell him what you told me, ok?"
"Ok," she nods her head and I put her down so she can go over to Damien.
I quickly wipe my eyes and take a deep breath.
"Did she tell you?" I turn and see Ethan.
"Yeah she did. It means the world, I just don't know how you're dad is gone feel," I shrug
"Nothing negative, trust me."
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"I don't want to... I don't want you to think you have to take on the mother roll if you don't want to. It's really up to you," Damien paces the room
"Is it a problem for you?" I question
"No. God, no. I've been telling you subtly but for the love of god Adriana I want you to be the mother of my children. All of them. Together or not together. It's up to you," He comes down on his knees in front of me, while I sit on the bed.
"I like seeing you on your knees for me," I say playing with his hands.
"Oh please, I'd do it any day... You can think about it. If you think this'll be a problem in the future, it won't be. Because I'm not letting you leave me... What are you thinking? Tell me," he kisses my hands while looking up at me.
"I love the kids and being their mother or even a figure would mean the world. I just don't want to overstep or make you feel like you have to stay with me because of it, if you don't want to be with me anymore," I say
His eyebrows furrow at my words. "I don't like that you have that thought of me leaving, in your head. I'm not going anywhere. You're not overstepping anything. I just don't want to pressure you into feeling like you have to be their mother or take that role," He explains
"Go open the door, for me," I request
Damien gets up, confused and opens the door.
"Oh hey..." Ethan says, holding Flavia on his hip.
"How the hell?" Damien whispers
"Come here," Ethan puts Flavia down and they walk over.
"Did you and king daddy talk? Are you my mommy now?" Flavia asks, climbing on the bed.
"Is that what you two want? For me to be your mom?" I ask them
"Yeah, please," Flavia says and Ethan smiles nodding his head.
"Ok. I'll be the best mom. I promise."
___________
"What's wrong?"
"Just got off a three way call with the social worker and lawyers. The date for children's court is May 23rd. And my cousins are still trying to find ever single piece of evidence to make sure I win," Damien tells
"You don't think you'll win?" I question
"I never do. They pity the biological parents, no matter how shitty they are. I've never won," He shakes his head. "Worst part... They're allowing visitation. She's demanding it and they're allowing it. It's supervised, but I don't want it. Ethan doesn't even want it."
"We'll get through it, promise," I pull him into a hug.
"And the other part of the call was that Jamiah doesn't have any other relatives that they can find. So she's given me the choice to adopt, but she still has to tell Jamiah and give him that choice too, of course," he tells
"That's good and bad news, depending how you look at it," I say
"Ya it is. Three kids. Think we can manage?" he asks, pulling back to look down at me.
"I can manage. Can you old man?" I smirk up at him
"I can manage the boys. Flavia's very high maintenance."
"And who's fault is that?" I quiz
"Definitely not mine," Damien shakes his head
"King daddy! I need more princess dresses!" Flavia calls
"Have you seen my wallet?"
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I'll try for a double update but it might be later... i'm releasing this at the gym 😭