Chapter Fourteen: The Gap
"Mr. Cardoza... everything is going to be okay."
"I know... ako lang ang hinde, ako lang ang hindi okay."
Gusto kong matawa sa reaksyon ni Adrian nang malaman niya na bibisita si Mrs. Cardoza, his mother.
She is famous, she started out as model or something and then now here she is, the woman who owns almost everything in the fashion industry in the Philippines.
Nasilayan ko siya kasal ni Genevieve at Ares, she is gorgeous, she is so beautiful, she doesn't even look like her age kahit ako nagulat kasi she looks so young.
"Do you want me to get some drinks for her? O meryenda?" kalmado kong tanong pero pinipigilan kong matawa.
He turns around to face me and shook his head in disbelief, he knows that I wanted to laugh and I find his actions as of this moment quite amusing.
"Ha ha ha, right, this is funny, huh?"
"I know, it's not funny. Drinks... or snacks?" tanong ko ulet at hinablot yung hawak niyang mga dokyumento mula sa kamay niya.
"Red velvet cake, she loves... red velvet cakes... and red wine."
"Di ba masyado pang maaga para uminom ng alcohol?"
"I know. Americano. Just get Americano."
May usap usap na perfectionist daw siya, she's strict when choosing the right fashion designers for her brand, the right celebrities or influencers to invite into Casa di Cardoza—yun ang sabi sabi.
"Bakit daw siya bibisita?" tanong ko naman pagkatapos kong umorder nang red velvet cake gamit ang telepono dito sa opisina niya.
"She returned from fashion week in Paris, she missed me... obviously, but I think it's about something else. I have a feeling what it is already..." he sighed.
'Di ko maintindihan... may dapat ba silang pagusapang dalawa na importante?
'Di pwedeng namimiss lang ni Mrs. Cardoza ang anak niya?
Normal lang naman iyon.
Or maybe she's proud of what her son had been doing so far, the agency is doing great these past few weeks.
Yun.
Yun ang akala ko.
"Have you thought about another blind date?"
"Mom!"
Now I get it.
Now I get why.
Narinig siguro ni Mrs. Cardoza na pumunta ng mga blind date 'tong si Adrian, the last one was when that girl tried to kiss him, 'di ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko nung time na yun but now that I think about it... hindi pa rin ang tama yung ginawa nung babae.
Hindi naman din pinipilit si Adrian na magpakasal din, but I guess pressure will always be there to haunt him.
"I'm telling you, Ian. If you're taking this blind date thing seriously, might as well help you, your dear mother."
Halos sasabog na yata ang mukha ni Adrian, pulang-pula yung pisngi niya, inubos niya yung buong baso ng diet coke sa kaba at gulat.
It was good at first.
Nagyakapan sila sa una, tuwang-tuwa si Mrs. Cardoza nang makita nia ulet si Adrian, she said 'di raw siya nakatulog nang maayos sa eroplano pero nawala raw yung antok niya kasi andito na raw 'baby' niya.
It's adorable, really.
And then napunta ta'yo sa usapan na narinig ni Mrs. Cardoza na pumupunta raw si Adrian sa blind date.
"N-No mom, 'di na gano'n... sinubukan k-ko lang..."
"For what? Don't tell me sinabi ng tatay mo na m—"
"No, mom. It's not like that. Okay?"
"Then why?" she paused and takes another sip of her red wine.
"Why what?"
"Why go on a blind date with daughters of wealthy businessmen in the country? 'Kala mo 'di ko alam? Marami akong tenga dito, sa palagay mo makakatakas ka, hm?" ngisi niya.
Naalala ko tuloy si Ms. Dixon nung una ko siya nakilala, she looks nice and beautiful, but then she started scolding Geneva and Karine for their decisions during their marriage plans.
Natawa ako nang konti kasi ang strikto niya, I got to see a side of her.
And now I'm seeing a side of Mrs. Cardoza, she looks nice and beautiful din, pero strikto rin siya at pag dating sa anak niya talagang walang makakapigil sa kanya.
This woman is powerful, way too powerful.
She literally almost owns the whole fashion industry here in the Philippines.
This is the side of Mrs. Cardoza as a mother.
"Mom I... t-that's what I wanted... before. Pero 'di na yo'n. I want to focus on the agency for now."
Do'n naman na talaga ang pokus ng buong atensyon ni Adrian sa simula pa lang.
Hindi siya mukhang pressured o takot, he was smiling all the time, para bang si Karine nung nagsimula siya.
Pero kahit na hindi man siya mukhang pressured o takot, it doesn't mean na hindi talaga siya pressured o takot, I'm a bit... concerned about it these days.
"Hm, then good. Next time, tell me if you're going to get into blind dates again, tutulungan kita."
"T-Thanks mom. Have you uhm... told dad that you're back?"
"Yes, and I bet he'll be upset with me again when I return back to our mansion. I didn't answer his calls yet, bahala siya." irap ni Mrs. Cardoza.
"Great." awkward na sagot ni Adrian.
Gusto kong matawa nanaman, nakakatawa yung mga reaksyon ni Adrian, kumbaga 'di siya makagalaw o makapagsalita sa harap ng nanay niya.
I felt a chill at the back of my neck, and then I looked at Mrs. Cardoza na nakatingin sa'kin habang pinupunasan ang gilid ng labi niya tsaka niya 'ko binigyan ng maliit na ngiti.
Bumilis tuloy ang pintig ng puso ko.
"You must be my son's assistant, yes?"
"Yes, Mrs. Cardoza."
"What... was your name again?"
Ba't bigla ako kinabahan?
Is this what it feels like to be in front of a powerful woman?
"Calla."
"Calla...?"
"Calla Elinor Rodriguez, Mrs. Cardoza."
"Right, Rodriguez." she smiled again.
"Adrian."
"Yes, m-mom?"
"Kunin mo yung bag ko sa kotse ko."
Nagtinginan kami ni Adrian sa biglang utos ni Mrs. Cardoza.
"N-Now? Can't you just—"
"My phone is in my bag. Get it yourself for me, please? Do it for your dear mother."
Walang choice si Adrian, tumayo siya at tumalikod para harapin ako.
"Just keep her occupied, I'm sorry, Calla."
"It's okay, Mr. Cardoza."
Ngumiti siya ulet kay Mrs. Cardoza bago siya lumabas.
"Uhm, Mrs. Cardoza. Do you want another slice of the re—"
"Villanueva."
Ha?
"P-Po?"
"You were a Villanueva, 'di ba?" tanong niya.
So... alam niya.
'Di niya alam pangalan ko pero alam niya yung nakaraan ko?
"Di po ako... parte ng pamilyang yo'n. I was... kidnapped."
"I heard about that too. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that you had to experience such terrible thing. Upo ka, Ms. Rodriguez." sabi niya at pinalo yung upuan sa tabi niya.
"C-Calla. Calla na lang po." utal ko sabay upo sa tabi niya.
Damn, I feel like I shouldn't be here, Mrs. Cardoza is too good for me to be here, like 'di ko deserve 'to.
"Calla. How is my son?"
"Okay lang po."
"Do you think he's doing great so far? I was worried, you know."
"Uhm... he's great. He's a good boss, he cares a lot about his employees and the actors in the agency. He doesn't play around, magaling po talaga siya. I... I'm lucky that I got to work with someone like him. He's a natural, just like... a Cardoza." explain ko agad.
Bakit pakiramdam ko ang dami kong sinabi?
I shouldn't have explained, I should have said that he is doing great.
"Hm, that's... good." she smiled and offered a glass of red wine but I rejected the offer immediately.
"I-I... still have work, Mrs. Cardoza."
"Awe, you're no fun, Calla. Now... tell me..." she then pours herself another glass of red wine.
"...how old are you? Sa'n ka galing? You know... before you were kidnapped."
"27. And... Cavite po."
"27!?"
Nakakagulat ba yo'n? Na gano'n ako katanda?
"Y-Yes po..." utal ko.
"May mali po ba?"
"No it's just... you're... the same age as Ares. So... limang taon ang agwat niyo ni Adrian."
I didn't of it that much but yes, limang taon ang agwat na'ming dalawa pero 'di halata kasi mukhang mature at kasing-edad ko si Adrian.
"May boyfriend ka ba?"
"No po."
"Why not? Is it because of your past again?"
"Uhm... hindi naman po. Wala lang po akong time, at... I haven't found someone that is worth my time rin po."
She smirked and burst out laughing right after.
"Right, men these days are not worth any woman's time these days. Ano bang tipo mo sa lalaki? Hanapan kita, gusto mo?"
"M-Mrs. Cardoza, I—"
"What's your type in men? C'mon, humor me, Rodriguez."
Pa'no... kami napunta sa ganitong usapan?
"Ah... I..."
Blanko ako. 'Di ko alam kung ano bang dapat isagot ko, David Licauco ba?
"D-David... Licauco?"
"Yung Fidel ba yun? Sa Maria Clara at Ibarra?"
"Yes po."
Wala akong maisagot, nagagwapuhan ako kay David Licauco so siya, siya yung sinagot ko.
"He is hot. He is hot, and attractive... 'wag mong sabihin sa asawa ko..." bulong niya at tumawa.
I think she's drunk.
"Are you... d-drunk po, Mrs. Cardoza?"
"Drunk? Please, I have a high-tolerance! This is nothing to me." she laughed again at mahinang hinampas ang balikat ko.
"So... tipo mo gwapo, matangkad, mayaman... may abs, at... chinito? Kailangan ba chinito?
"Ah... w-wala naman po akong... p-pake kung chinito po o hinde. I believe po na... love happens at 'di po mapipigilan kahit anong i-itsura o lahi ng tao po..."
I need to stop talking, kung ano-anong pinagsasabi ko nanaman.
Baka ako yung lasing?
Asan na ba si Adrian?
"Got it. What about my son?"
What?
"P-Po?"
"My son. Adrian."
"Oh... n-no po... I... hi—"
"Gwapo siya, matangkad, he got his abs from his father, mayaman din, he's perfect for you!"
'Di ba dapat ang gusto ng mga mayayamang pamilya tulad niya ay yung babaeng galing mayamang pamilya para sa anak nila?
Yung sa mga telenovela o yung mga Korean drama kung saan mayayaman yung pamilya.
Tinatakwil pa nga nila minsan yung mga anak nila kasi gustong pakasalan ng anak nila yung mahirap na babae o yung babaeng ayaw talaga nila para sa anak nila, yung gano'n.
Shit, ang dami ko nanamang napapanood na drama.
"M-Mrs. Cardoza, I don't think I... fit... w-with you—"
"Alam ko na yan! Ms. Rodriguez, if you think that I'll be like those idiots who restricts their own kids from marrying someone they like or love, no... siguro noon pero 'di na ngayon..." inom siya ulet.
"...I was a bad mother, all I thought about was our family, I didn't want mine and my husband's work go to waste because of a mistake. I promised to never do such thing again and give the best for Adrian..."
Ah, may nakalimutan ako.
Hindi lahat ng mga perpektong tao ay perpekto talaga. May pagkakamali pa rin sila, kahit mga mayayaman at makapangyarihan na mga tao ay may pagkakamali rin.
It makes them... human.
Mrs. Cardoza is human too.
"You did great, Mrs. Cardoza. Your son learned from you and Mr. Cardoza."
"Hm, thank you. So ano? Bet mo anak ko?"
Oh my gosh.
"M-Mrs. Car—"
"Mom, anong ginagawa mo kay Calla?"
Finally andito na siya! Jusko, 'di ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko kung wala pa rin siya hanggang ngayon, 'di ko kakayanin 'tong usap usapan na'min tungkol sa mga tipo kong lalaki o love life ko.
Nadamay din si Adrian sa usapan.
"Thank you for getting my bag, Adrian. Lab na lab kita."
"Mom... you're drunk."
"No, I don't get drunk, alam mo naman ako, 'di ba? And... wala kang girlfriend 'di ba?"
Napatayo ako agad dahil alam ko na kung saan 'to papunta, I am not going to be okay, damn t.
"No?"
"Why don't you date Calla then? Your assistant."
"M-Mrs. Card—"
"Mom!" he blushed and sat next to Mrs. Cardoza.
"What? I'm giving you options, 'di ba pwedeng option din siya? She's beautiful, nice, and your assistant, she'd be perfect for you."
'Di ko alam kung ano bang dapat kong maramdaman sa sitwasyon na 'to. I don't exactly understand what is happening, nalilito at namumula ako.
I've never been in this situation before.
Nakakahiya, mukha na yata akong kamatis dahil sa pula ng pisngi ko, ewan ko ba.
"M-Mom... I... s-stop it. Iuuwi na kita..." hingal niya at pinatayo si Mrs. Cardoza.
"Tsk, Calla. I like you!" tawa ni Mrs. Cardoza.
Okay, lasing siya. Lasing na lasing siya.
I'm sure of it, she probably wasn't thinking straight when she told me all of those things.
Yeah, probably.
"Pasensya na, Calla. My mom is bad at drinking, she thinks she has high-tolerance but it's not the case."
"It's okay..." I smiled at him and cleaned up the table and the seat too.
Iuuwi rin 'tong cake sa mansion nila, si Adrian ang maguuwi raw.
"She didn't tell you anything, right?"
"No. Yung ano lang... anong tipo ko sa isang lalaki."
"Ano namang sabi mo?"
"David Licauco."
He laughed and shook his head in amusement.
"Of course."
Ramdam ko pa rin ang titig niya sa'kin kahit na tumalikod na 'ko para ipagpatuloy ang paglinis ko sa lamesa at upuan.
"May... kailangan ka ba, Adrian?"
"I just... I... my mom... was right." simula niya.
"You are... beautiful."
What?
Anong... pa'no ta'yo nabalik nanaman sa usapan na yo'n?
Ano 'to?
"Thank you, Adrian." sagot ko at napakapit sa couch, medyo namumula ako, ewan ko ba kung bakit.
"And nice... but you're more than that. I-I think na... any man would be lucky to have you."
"Why?" tumayo ako at humarap sa kanya.
"Why are you suddenl—"
"Because! I feel like... I-I don't tell you this... enough. P-Parang... 'd-di mo alam, yun lang."
I could see his cheeks turning pink, namumula rin siya, shit, tumalikod ako ulet dahil ayokong makita yun, kahit ako namumula rin, the fuck.
"Right." sabi ko at huminga nang malalim habang ipinagdadasal na sana okay ako.
I don't want to think about it.
Damn it, but now I can't stop thinking about what Mrs. Cardoza said.
Oo, gwapo si Adrian, he has everything, but... it's just impossible, okay?
Imposible na... maging kami.
I am his assistant, that's like bad.
Kung hahanap si Adrian nang tamang babae para sa kanya, dapat yung... kasing-edad niya, we have a five-year gap and now I feel old like shit.
'Di naman ako matanda pero pakiramdam ko ang tanda tanda ko.
And besides... he's from another world.
We live in different worlds.
He should be with someone that lives in the same world as he does, yung deserve niya.
Fuck, nakusot ko yong paper plate na nagamit ni Mrs. Cardoza kanina, I was too into my own thoughts na 'di ko namamalayan yung ginagawa ko.
I'm mad.
I'm mad... so fucking mad.
And I... I don't even know why.
Or maybe I do.
I do know why I'm mad.
I just don't want to accept the truth in my heart.
Kasi bawal.
Bawal talaga.