May 30, 2019
Dear Diary,
The weekend was okay. We got to have one big sleepover even with Sarah on Monday. This is our last week. I have been through hell and back, like Abby, to be here. I was confident, then depressed, then suicidal, then I tried to commit suicide, and now I'm in the suicidal realm again.
Therapy has helped a little bit. Mrs. Green was super proud we won and she was proud I won too. She also helped me process that this is my last week here. As many bad memories that I have in Pittsburgh, it's always gonna be special in my heart.
Mom has already booked tickets to Disneyland if we win at Nationals, so I'm super motivated. When I was doing my solo, I felt a tiny spark. Maybe I am getting my passion for dance back. Only time will tell.
Anyway, guess who's back? Sarah! Abby let Sarah come back on the team! Now our team is complete again! It was so exciting seeing them walk in and Sarah be in a good mood. Mom wasn't happy, but oh well. Sarah won't be dancing anyway.
Also, guess who got to the top of the pyramid? Me! I got on top of the last pyramid. I'm so happy! Maybe I really am good enough for this team. Maybe I deserve to be here. Only I perform well this week, though.
This week, we're going to MANHATTAN. M-A-N-H-A-T-T-A-N. Like, Manhattan in New York! The Abby Lee Dance Company hasn't gone there ever since Season 4, so we're all more than excited to head there.
However, the group dance is musical theatre with Hannah and Gia as the leads called The Prom. It's based on the Broadway musical The Prom, and we're getting a song from the musical to use. Not only have I officially never been the lead of a group dance in the sixteen weeks, but we're also doing musical theatre in the Broadway capital of the world. Oh no. If we don't pull this off, we're toast.
My solo is called Annabelle. It's inspired by the horror movie Annabelle. Another horror piece solo. First Possessed, then The Resurrection of Legend Mary, then Scissorhands, now Annabelle. I should put "horror movie soloist" on my resumé.
Lilly has a solo called Inside Out, about her being half muscle, half Lilly. Brady has a solo called I Won't Dance. It's inspired by Frank Sinatra and its musical theatre. Brady likes ballet more than musical theatre.
My solo isn't as competitive as my last one. I thought Abby lost faith in me again, but then I got to see the other solos. We all agree that they're just as bad. A pattern for Abby is that her National solos aren't as good.
That's basically it. Tomorrow, I'll be writing in MANHATTAN. This is the first time in a while I've actually been looking forward to something.
Love,
sweet p