Aelin
It felt as though I'd been on this roof for an eternity, even though I knew it had been just under an hour.
After I'd grown tired of dealing with fae male egos, I'd wandered back to the warehouse with Azriel and Cassian trailing behind me. Back among the dusty crates of the warehouse, I'd been doing an admirable job of ignoring their lectures on how I needed to tell them the next time I decided to go on my late-night adventures when Rhysand had appeared - without my silver-haired mate in tow.
At my questioning glance, he'd grimaced, and murmured something about how Rowan likely needed some time to cool off after the confrontation with Lorcan and the others.
Unease had immediately skittered up my spine, and I'd insisted on waiting for his return. The rest of my mates tried to wait with me, but something I couldn't quite name had me convincing them to head to bed without me.
Their obvious reluctance was rather insulting, it seemed as though they didn't trust me not to sneak off to do something stupid - which on second thought, was actually quite fair.
After I'd finally persuaded them to leave me to my own devices, I'd headed up to the roof. Considering how Rowan liked to process his emotions by soaring in his hawk form, I had a sneaking suspicion he'd taken to the rooftops of Rifthold.
So now, here I was, pacing the shimmering tiles, spiraling further and further into my traitorous thoughts. Every time I tried to pull myself free, Rowan's voice from the alley echoed through my mind. He hadn't even tried to conceal his unfettered rage, and his tone ... I'd never heard anyone sound so savagely wrathful.
And while I knew, of course I knew, that a good deal of that wrath was on my behalf, I couldn't help but wonder ...
Was some of it directed towards me?
I knew he loved me, that he would destroy the world for me, but at the same time - I'm sure he never imagined that world would include his former blood-sworn brothers.
The whole gods-damned reason I'd freed them from Maeve in the first place was because I knew how highly he regarded them. Sure, he hadn't been great at showing it, but from the way he'd talked about them in Mistward, the fact that serving alongside them had brought him back from the brink of oblivion after the death of Lyria ...
I knew he cared for them, even if only in the barest way that he could at the time. And I -
I'd ripped him from them. Ripped him from the males he'd served alongside for centuries, and tonight - tonight I'd forced him to attack them. On my behalf. Because of me.
And the longer Rowan took to return, the more I convinced myself that - even though there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he loved me, fiercely and brutally - there was a part of him that resented me too. At least tonight.
I'd given up my pacing, and was hunched over on the lone bench, wallowing in my misery and guilt, when I heard the faint scuffing of footsteps, the cool night breeze carrying the familiar scent of pine and snow.
I turned my head just as Rowan appeared, leaping down from a neighboring rooftop. Exhaling in relief, I took in his broad torso, those powerful shoulders, his -
I flinched when I reached the emptiness in his eyes.
Gathering the tattered shreds of my courage, I patted the bench next to me. "Come here."
He stood there, for so long that I thought he was just going to walk away, before he finally padded towards me, not meeting my gaze as he slumped down beside me. Instead, his blank gaze was fixed to the stars above us, vacant in a way that made me doubt he was really seeing them.
Swallowing roughly, I said softly, "We're both experts at clamming up, but we need to talk about this like reasonable people."
He said nothing, and when I glanced over at him, his eyes were cold - almost as cold as his voice had been earlier tonight.
Terror wrapped her poisonous claws around my throat.
"Don't shut me out," I breathed.
Those emerald eyes shot to mine, something flickering in their depths.
"Never," he said hoarsely. "That's not -"
He cut himself off, exhaling a harsh gust of air. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.
"Rowan -"
My voice was a whisper in the darkness, thin and reedy.
"I attacked a member of my cadre tonight," he laughed mirthlessly, "brutally, and without hesitation. And I would have killed them, I would have killed them all, if you had given me the slightest indication that's what you wanted."
Oh, gods.
The raw emotion in his voice shredded my heart, tore at my very soul. I'd done that, put him in that position. It's my fault he feels that way. I did this. Me. His mate.
"Rowan, I -"
My throat closed up, and I stood, pacing in front of him. I couldn't look at him, couldn't bear to see the pain that I had caused. I should have known that no matter how hard I tried, only death and destruction followed in my wake.
Carnage was my only legacy.
"I'm sorry," I forced out. "I'm so sorry I put you in that position. I hope you know I never wanted you to have to defend me against your former comrades."
"Aelin -"
Rowan tried to interrupt, but I barreled on, knowing I had to get this out now, before it was too late, before I ruined everything with inaction. Again.
"You know I can take care of myself; you don't ever have to put yourself in that position again. I would never want you to do something that obviously upsets you -"
"Aelin."
Rowan's sharp command broke me free of my ramblings, just as a large, calloused palm wrapped around my wrist, tugging me around to meet his wide, incredulous eyes.
Those emerald orbs searched mine, looking for some sort of explanation, while I just stood there, the world yawning around me, cold and still.
Slowly, carefully, Rowan demanded, "Do you think I'm upset because I attacked Lorcan tonight? Because I had to face off against my so-called cadre?"
I nodded hesitantly. What other explanation was there? If I hadn't been so foolish, so stupidly unaware, maybe I could have stopped the confrontation from happening in the first place ... but I hadn't, and it had.
Rowan chuffed a soft laugh and leaned forward to press his forward to mine.
Reality swirled around me, and I was drowning in a whirlwind of confusion.
Pulling back slightly, Rowan said, "You're brilliant, Fireheart, but for once, you couldn't be further from the truth."
I nearly furrowed my brow at him, certain I should be upset at his words. But I was too busy being mesmerized by the cacophony of emotions in my mate's eyes, anger, amusement, self-loathing, possessiveness. I couldn't make sense of it.
"I'm upset, not because I attacked them, but because those fuckers wanted you - and worse than that, they actually thought they could have you - and it's my gods-damned fault." He sucked in a breath, his broad chest expanding as he admitted, "I failed you."
Now I did furrow my brow. "You did no such thing," I argued, voice ringing with indignation.
I couldn't even process his ludicrous first statement, I was far too fixated on him thinking he'd done anything wrong.
He hadn't failed me, couldn't fail me. Only one of us on this roof is capable of failing the other, and it certainly wasn't him.
"I did fail you." The warmth of his hand was in sharp contrast to the cool air as he clamped it on my shoulder. His emerald eyes bore into mine, the pain they held piercing. "Not tonight, but I failed you, for far too long."
His body was a massive, solid force of nature above mine, but his eyes - his eyes nearly broke me. They gleamed with sorrow, regret, misery, and most of all - unfaltering, infallible love.
"I failed you in ignoring what I knew was between us for so long. Even in Mistward, I knew there was something there. Something powerful, something life-altering. But I ignored it, because I didn't think I could have you." His fingers spasmed on my shoulder, as though even the memory was enough to send him into a fit of rage. "I even allowed you to talk about other males, about my own gods-damned comrades - as if the thought of any other male touching you didn't make me feel like I was being eaten alive from the inside out."
A flash of our time at Mistward resurfaced, of teasing Rowan about which of his cadre were the handsomest, trying to distract him from the horrors of his past by asking if any of them would be interested in me.
And the way Rowan's eyes had shuttered, so subtly that I hadn't caught it at the time.
"I allowed it, allowed you to think I didn't care for you, knowing that any of them would be gagging for it, for you. That any male with half a brain would drop to his knees for you without hesitation. Except for me, because I fucking couldn't," He admitted bitterly.
His familiar pine-and-snow scent wrapped around me, and I was utterly lost in it, in him. Hypnotized in the way he laid himself bare, offered these truths to me.
My beautiful, powerful, warrior-mate. Prostrating himself at my feet, leaving himself at my mercy.
"I couldn't, and so I pushed you away. I was cruel. I was needlessly hateful. I did everything I could to prove to you that you couldn't rely on me, that you couldn't rely on anyone but yourself." His voice was hoarse, his eyes were wide and pleading, begging me for forgiveness that I'd already granted a thousand times over. "I made you believe it. I made you believe it so well that at the first opportunity, you left me behind. Twice."
My heart broke for an entirely different reason. "Rowan -" I whispered.
His eyes snapped open, flashing with a fury I knew wasn't directed at anyone other than himself.
"I suppose I was only reaping what I sowed, and I would accept any form of repentance you demanded. But tonight tested my control in ways I was not prepared for. Dealing with two males tonight, males who I served alongside for centuries, who were the closest thing I had to brothers - they want you. Desperately. And they actually thought they could have you. Thought they could take you from me," he spat, venom coating every word.
His other hand came up, firmly grasping me by both shoulders. One callused finger traced a delicate path over my collarbone, emerald eyes boring into mine. He stepped closer; the heat of his body nearly overwhelming as an answering heat bloomed in my core.
What it said about me that I found the animalistic rage pouring from him enticing, I did not care. Not right now.
Plenty of time to dissect that later.
Right now, I was too busy being utterly captivated by the frenzied beast before me.
"Well, guess what, Fireheart?" he crooned darkly, eyes blazing. "I don't care. I don't care who they are, if they're better males than I could ever be. I don't care that I don't deserve you, because you're mine. You accepted me, despite my countless failings. That means no one else but me, no one but your mates, get you."
His deep voice roughened as he snarled, "You're fucking mine, and I'd rather tear their eyes clean from their skulls than they ever get a chance to look at you the way I do. I don't give a shit how many males want you, what desperation drives them to possess you. They. Can't. Fucking. Have. You."
I hadn't even realized we were moving backwards until I found myself pressed into the brick wall of the neighboring building, his strong arms caging me in.
"You're mine," he growled, the primal reverberations pulsating through me.
I was breathless, panting as the same finger that had traced my collarbone ghosted up to my jaw, tilting my head back until my throat was arched and bared before him.
He lowered his head to my exposed neck, hovering a hair's breadth away.
His breath ghosted over my throat, eliciting tantalizing shivers as he said, "You're mine, from now until death takes us. Beyond that, you're mine until this world and all the rest are nothing but a memory, nothing but ash floating on twisting winds in the unending nothingness of the cosmos."
Fuck. Fuck.
I arched my neck further, a silent invitation that he took full advantage of.
Rowan let out a low groan and grazed his teeth against my skin. His elongated canines slid along my flesh - gently, precisely - until they were teasing over the base of my neck, right where his mate-bite lay. I couldn't help but bring my hands up, clenching the fabric of his tunic, tugging him closer.
He braced one hand on the wall beside my head, the other twinning in my hair as he held me against his mouth.
Reverently, fiercely, he spoke against the coveted mark, "You're mine, and I'll be damned if I let another male lay a single fucking hand on you. Ever. Fucking. Again."
I shuddered beneath him, but the fervent promise in those words didn't quite disguise their vulnerable edge. As though he thought there was a world in which I would actually abandon him for another.
And that, I couldn't allow.
I arched my neck even further, until the sharp tips of his canines pressed into my skin, a heartbeat away from drawing blood.
"No one else," I whispered, "There's no one else for me but you four. I would never allow anyone else at my throat, would never allow them to have me the way you do."
He had to know that, had to understand that. That there was no one else that was even a passing fancy in my mind. He, they, were the only ones. The only ones I wanted, the only ones I trusted to have me at their mercy.
Because only they had the power to truly destroy me.
They were who I breathed for, who I fought for, who I fucking lived for.
They were the fire in my blood and my strength in every battle.
They were everything.
"No one else," I said again.
He let out another hoarse groan, and the rumble echoed inside me. His breath was hot on my skin, his teeth closed over that delicate mark, my lifeblood thrumming and pounding beneath it. My every sense narrowed in on the sensation of his teeth and mouth on my throat, on his powerful body trembling with restraint above me.
His tongue flicked out against my skin, and I couldn't contain the small moan that escaped.
Rowan shuddered at the sound and pulled back, the cool night air instantly sweeping over my neck. His hand was still twisted in my hair forcing me to meet his eyes, eyes that sparked with pure wildness.
Pulling back further, he brazenly dragged his gaze down my body, nostrils flaring when he scented exactly how worked up I was. He crowded me impossibly further, his stare returning to mine - hungry, feral, and thrilling. An answering jolt of electricity pulsed through me, my breathing ragged.
"Mine," he swore, voice gravely with need.
"Yours," I agreed breathlessly. "Just as you're mine."
Rowan's eyelids fluttered closed, as if those words alone had caused unfathomable pleasure to course through him. But I was done talking now.
Arching my back so that my breasts pressed against him, I purred, "Now, why don't you prove it?"
His eyes flew open, searing into me with so much heat I thought I would burn alive. He smiled, an unhinged, predatory expression. And then he pounced.
His hand was on my ass, lifting me up against him, while the one in my hair hauled my face towards him, capturing my lips in a fierce kiss. Pressing me back against the wall behind me, he ground into me, his cock already hard and ready against my hot center.
My legs had somehow wrapped themselves around his hips, and I could barely feel my spine digging into the brick behind me, already lost to the endless waves of pleasure he was eliciting from my body -
He pulled at my hair, forcing my head to the side so that he could nip and suck at my neck, whispering dark promises into my skin.
"You want me to prove that you're mine, Fireheart? That I'm yours?"
The feeling of him, hot and hard against me, the sensuous feeling of my lips, teeth and tongue against my throat were an assault on my senses, robbing the air from my lungs.
"You shouldn't ask for something like that, not from me. I don't have limits when it comes to you."
He pulled back, and I nearly groaned at the loss, but then he was pulling down my suit, tugging at it impatiently until it was pooled around my waist, my heaving breasts exposed to the moonlight.
He groaned in appreciation, dipping down so he could take my peaked nipples into his mouth, tormenting them. The warmth of his mouth around my breast had my head falling back in ecstasy even as he retreated, blowing the cool night air onto my damp skin. He worshiped my flesh, switching between them until I was a panting mess, occasionally using his razor-sharp canines to deliver a sharp bite of pain to keep me grounded.
He lifted his head, eyes darkened with lust. "You should be scared of what I would do for you. You should be terrified."
Without removing his gaze from mine, he untangled my legs from around him, easily holding me aloft with one arm as he tore off his own tunic and stripped away the remainder of my suit. Not content until I was completely bared to him.
And his eyes held nothing but brutal, violent candor as he said, "I would raze cities to the ground at the slightest provocation. I would lay this world to ruin, as long as I could keep you as mine."
Leaning forward until we were nose to nose, I allowed the monster inside me to peak out behind my eyes. "I'd set this world on fire until its horror transcended the worst of the hell realms. If anyone dared to take you from me, I'd melt the flesh clean from their bones and use them to decorate my throne."
I felt his cock pulse between us, and his gaze turned searing, but all he said was, "Good."
I smirked back at him. "Good."
His lips tugged up into a feline grin, and his eyes turned wicked. "Now, let me taste what belongs to me."
I didn't have time to protest as he lifted me up until my hips were level with his face, spreading my legs to fall over his shoulders. A choked gasp escaped me as he buried his face between my legs and devoured me. He was like a starving man, licking and sucking at my pussy like it was the sustenance he craved, the only thing he'd ever need.
My hands buried into his silver hair as I trembled between his mouth and the wall, pinned by Rowan's shoulders and the calloused hand pressing against my stomach. His thick tongue speared into me, and I moaned, loud and wanton. He let out a harsh groan in response, moving up to focus on my clit, circling and teasing it with his tongue.
I let out a sound of pure need, and he finally focused on my clit, alternating long, luxurious licks up my pussy with quick flicks of his tongue against my clit, occasionally nipping at it with his teeth. He held me on the edge of release, relishing in his carnal torture.
I was a panting, desperate mess when he finally took pity on me, wrapping his lips fully around my clit and sucking it into his mouth -
And I shattered, coming with an ear-splitting cry.
Rowan's dirty chuckle sounded like it was underwater as my head dropped against the brick wall, breathless and gasping as I came down from the high of my orgasm.
"Delicious," he murmured, looking up at me through hooded eyes.
Not giving me a chance to fully recover, he lifted me off his shoulders, dragging me down the expanse of his chest, and I only realized he somehow rid himself of the rest of his clothes when -
When he impaled me mercilessly on his thick, hard cock.
I cry out, the breath stolen from my lungs as I clench around his length, gloriously and suddenly full of him. He groans as he roughly fills me, his hands holding my hips so tightly I know there are going to be finger-shaped bruises decorating them tomorrow.
"Fuck," Rowan mutters, enraptured by the sight of his cock rocking ever so slightly in and out of my swollen pussy.
When he feels me start to relax around him, he starts to really move, thrusting in and out of me in deep, measured movements. I moan at the feeling of his cock stretching me, dragging deliciously against my inner walls.
He hits that spot inside of me that makes the edges of my vision fuzzy every time, until I'm dizzy from the high of it. All I can do is grip at his shoulders, pinned and helpless against the wall.
It's electric, intense and heady as he owns my body, my pleasure, proving to both of us who I belong to.
I'm incapable of stopping my gasping moans as he moves inside of my, fucking me with precision and intent. His groans slowly transform into low growls of pleasure, and I lunge forward to capture his lips in a messy kiss. He growls against my lips, mumbling possessive claims against my lips.
"Mine. Completely fucking mine."
His hips continue to piston in and out of me, steadily increasing in pace.
"So fucking perfect like this, wrapped around my cock."
His filthy, crude words have me clenching, and he hisses as I tighten around him.
"No one else gets to see you like this, feel how tight your perfect pussy is, squeezing my cock like a gods-damned vice."
I moan like a fucking whore against his lips, whispering my reassurances that it's only him, only them, that I want, that I will ever want.
They're fucking mine. Just as much as I'm theirs.
He's pounding into me now, fucking me into the wall without restraint. The harsh slap of our hips echo across the rooftop, only second to our uninhibited cries of pleasure. His cock pulses as he drives impossibly deep with each thrust, my walls fluttering around him.
I'm trembling against him, a boneless mess as he continues taking me at a punishing pace. My back scrapes against the rough brick with every thrust, the dull pain only heightening the salacious things he's doing to the rest of my body. He's relentless, possessed by some primal need to prove I'm his, fucking ruin me for anyone else. And it's gods-damned working.
I'm close, so fucking close to coming undone around him. As if he can sense it, he adjusts one of the hands pinning me against the wall so his thumb brushes my clit, rubbing harsh circles around it until I'm full-on shaking, so close to falling over the edge that I can taste it.
Pulling his lips from mine, he growls into my ear, "Come on my cock, Fireheart. Prove to me that you're mine, my mate."
Without warning, he plunges his canines harshly into his mating bite, and I fucking plummet over the edge, coming with a scream of pure ecstasy. My pussy clenches around him, milking him as he buries himself deeply within me, filling me completely with his seed. Our orgasms seem to extend for an eternity, my pussy repeatedly clenching around him as his hot cum spurts inside me. Unfathomable pleasure besieges us as we press together, panting and crying out from the gale storm of pure sensation.
We slumped together, exhausted but sated, and something settles within me. I needed that. He needed that. To prove that we are undeniable, indestructible. And we are. Because if the fates had ever written anything in the stars, it was my mates and I.
The cool night air rapidly cooled out overheated, sweat-soaked bodies as we panted, collapsed against each other. The two words spoken into the darkness were the only ones we needed.
"Mine."
"Yours."