Kinn's pov~
Yesterday, in late evening i came back from meetings, all i wanted to do was call Porsche and cuddle to sleep. But as i reached my room and called big to tell porsche to meet me, he told me that porsche had been dragged by khun to bar. I waved him off in frustration and went to shower.
I patiently waited for porsche to come as i already sent him a messege to straight come to my room as i sit on the floor by window.
After like an hour, the door was swung opened and i already knew who was it as no one else have guts to just enter without knock. I looked up with a smile but soon it turned into frown as i looked at Porsche who was in some kind of trance with confusion written on his face with many other things, like distress, hurt, discomfort etc.
"Porsche" i called him as he finally for the first time acknowledged my presence since he stepped foot in my room and give me a small smile.
"Hey!" He greets me as he then straightly went to my personal bar and get two glasses and filled them with alcohol and then walk over to me.
"Here." He give me a glass and then proceed to sit beside me with his back to glass window and his both ankles resting on my leg.
As we had some drinks, Porsche suddenly speak up.
"Who's Tawan? I mean i know he's your ex but what did he meant to you?....i know i did said that I'll wait for you to tell me when you get ready but Kinn recently things have been killing me from inside. Questions that i have are making me insane. So please, if not much, just tell me a little about that. Like.... Why did you.....kill him?"
I looked at him, eyes wide at the sudden question. I take a sip from my drink before looking at him. I can see he's tired. It makes me feel guilty as he may have many things to ask but for my sake he didnt. He didn't want to force or stress me, so he's taking all of the stress.
"Tawan... he was someone i never imagined i couldnt love. We met in college and we clicked instantly. We dated for 2 years. I was soo happy during that time. Everything looked beautiful with him. But then i get to know that... he was selling our informations to Italians. At first i couldn't believe but when i cross checked everything, it was clear that he was the one who did everything." I said with bitterness in my voice. The betrayal was destructive.
" but then as a leader, as a Theerapanyakun heir, i knew what i have to do. So.... i shot him to death." He looked at me jaw dropped. Im sure at first he mightve thought it was maybe a rumour but no its the truth. I did shot my ex.
"It was destructive, porsche. My heart. It was like everywhere was dark. I felt breathless. But then i knew one thing, that maybe its the... karma. There was a time when i hurted someone so deeply that he looked like a person alive with no soul, mind and heart. It physically pained me seeing him like that...... Maybe that thing came back to me. Karma caught me. Then i just move on with the pain that reminded me not to trust anyone else." I said with drinking my drink in one gulp in the end.
"That someone was Vegas. You hurted Vegas. Right?"
I frozed.
I looked up and saw porsche. He looked at me with cold eyes. I dont know how to react. How to cope with the fear im feeling.
Does he know what i think he knows?
Does he knows that i was... am in love with Vegas?
Does he know that Vegas once loved me?
That we didn't have the relation world think we have?
That we were something that can't be describe in words?
That we shared the purest kind of love?
Porsche's pov~
I can see.
Now I can see the fear on his face.
I can see the way he didn't want me to know that.
" i know." I said.
He sighed and closed his eyes as if this is the only thing he never wanted me to know.
But why Kinn?
Why do you have to hide something so crucial?
Were you afraid I will judge you?
Do you think of me so low?
And one second... does that mean really because of kinn vegas is like this? Was kinn really able to break vegas at that depth?
" Kinn...what the fuck did you do?"
Kinn looked at me again and opened his mouth multiple times before closing it.
"Kinn! what the fuck did you do with Vegas?! Why did you hurt him?! How did you hurt him?!" I asked frustrated.
Kinn looked at me in panic then suddenly stands up and turned his back to me.
"Kinn-" I also stand up.
" Porsche its late. You should go to bed." Kinn said walking to his closet. The finality in his voice tells me that if we continue i know where it will lead us both.
I sighed and walked toward his bed and lay down there. I wish for once kinn or Vegas will make things easier for me.
Kinn came back and looked at me questionably as if asking why am i on his bed even after an almost argument. Because whenever i get mad at little things i just stormed off from his place. But today i felt like not leaving.
"What?" I asked him.
"..." kinn sighed and then came to his side of bed, turning off the lights and lay with his back to me. And that...
Ouch. It hurts.
I kicked his legs angrily then also turn my back to him and closed my eyes.
As i was just about to drift off in my dreamland. I heard him moved and felt an arm on my waist. I smiled a little But continue pretending to sleep because i still may just turn around right now and slap the shit out of him for never answering questions. But that makes me not having these comforting arms wrapped around me. So...about beating him. I'll see some other day.
But suddenly...
" Porsche... i am sorry. But there are things its better you should not know. Some questions left unanswered is the best thing for you. I'll make it up to you for how i behaved today when you'll wake up. Sweet dreams." Kinn said. More like to himself . While thinking that i am asleep.
Kinn... from whatever truth you're hiding, i am sorry, but i do get to know. I cant live a life when i know you and another persons, who's so close to us, life is being destructive.
I can see kinn. The way the two of you react to each other.
I can feel something in the air kinn when you both are face to face or even when you are just talking about each other.
The pain is there kinn.
The pain that is swallowing both him and you.
And after knowing what you both were.
The relationship you both shared.
It becomes more of important to solve whatever is going on.
Ill go in any depth just for you two to be happy.
Just for you two be happy and loved.
...Even if it means, that I'll be the one who will be left alone and cold at nights.
Vegas pov~
...ring ...ring.
Who the fuck is calling this early morning?!
I reached for my phone and blindly pick it up.
"What?!" I asked in anger. While trying to focus on the ceiling.
"...."
"Fucking say something or im hanging up!!" I said in frustration as i tossed in my sheets.
"...h-hey" said a very familiar shaky voice.
... what the...
I sit up as i hear the voice of the person who haven't called from years.
"Vegas..?" I realised that i frozed. I suddenly gained all the focus i was before trying to get.
" what a pleasant surprise khun kinn!" I said greeting my teeth with fake excitement.
"So now you are calling me in the early morning just to insult is a new way of yours? Hats off to the dedication you have for me Huh?" I scoffed as i asked as that was what he used to do 3 years ago. Used to call me just to mock me. He always used to do that, before.... that day. The next day when Tawan left. The day he made clear that the hate he have for me is much more than the love i had... have for him. After that day this was the first call i get.
"Vegas... i actually wanted to know if you said something to Porsche?" Fuck...no no... did Porsche really told him? God no... kinn is going to hate m-
Wait.. i shouldn't care... yeah... i shouldn't. Thats right!
" yeah! I met him yesterday. And we talked somethings that none of your business!" I said in a mocking way.
"Vegas.. i meant to say that if you...told him about...us..that we had loved each other? That we were in relationship?" He asked almost whispering. As if he's saying something that is wrong. So wrong.
The past tense that he used while saying the word love hurts. It hurts like bitch. But then again i bet he' afraid that Porsche is gonna leave him. Well kinn...thats what i wants. Not to destroy you but to save him.
"Yeah!!" I chuckled." I fucking told him."
"Vegas... even if he wouldn't mind what happened between us but if you continue dragging our past now then..." he sighed
" what? Huh? Afraid now that your sweet love life is going to be destroyed soon? Afraid that he's gonna hate you? Afraid that you gonna rot alone when he'll leave you when he'll know what kind of person you are?" I asked in anger and pain but i felt satisfied. Finally it was my time to laugh at him.
But... why from inside something is breaking at the thought of seeing him again like he did when Tawan leave him?
I am such a fucked up person. Huh Right?
"Vegas... why are you doing this? Vegas I'll lost him! Stop it!... please.i know its not you. You're not like this." It made my heart stopped when he used his pleading voice. All i wanted to do is to hug him. And assure him that Porsche will not leave.
But again... the pleading brought me back when i begged him to stay. Begged him to not tear me apart. Begged him to not walk away from future we dreamed of together. But he didn't care. He cruelly laughed and crushed everything. He laughed at me saying the way i looked so pitiful and pathetic is so pleasurable.
"Kinn... you do remember right the way you destroyed me? Now you just wait and watch. This time I'll get the person i love and he will love me too. While you'll be left alone just like i did years ago."
" Vegas.. please i can't lose the second person i love the most. I... can't." He sounded tired and amazingly pitiful.
It hurts when he said Porsche is the second as i know who he first meant. That bitch tawan. Huh... kinn doesn't even get me in list.
I can feel tears gathering in my eyes as i wished that kinn would've that day begged me to stay. Begged me to never leave his side. But he didn't.
Kinn... this is not about me or you. Its about Porsche. Like you said maybe Porsche wouldn't mind what happened between us but Even if Porsche would hate me like if he's gonna hate you for what we had, ill still be okay. As long as i know he's away from you. As long as i know that he'll not gonna suffer the way i did. Everything will be okay.
" kinn i am not gonna let you hurt porsche the way you hurted me. So i think its better... if you stay away from him. I am not saying this as a person who hates you. But saying this as a person you loves Porsche and who stupidly.... loved you." I know he maybe know that i am crying from my voice but i dont care at this moment. It's tearing me apart again remembering the things i avoided all these years. I still remember the way he used to call me just like this early in the morning, saying he likes to listen to my voice first thing in the morning. I hate how my mind just like to go back to that time.
" vegas-" he called cautiously as he probably knows that once again im losing it. He always used to know. i always used to call him crying whenever things go wrong.
This. Everything. All these memories. Pull out another sob from me. Then another and another.
And again i found myself in the same situation I'm used to now in these last few years.
Crying in the bed. Pillow wet from tears. Curled up in the sheets.
And no one to comfort me.
_________________________________________
So i am BACK!!!!
I hope you'll like thissssss!!!!
Love to all who waited!!!❤❤😋😋🤗🤗
Tell me in the comments! Is it good?!