Kinn's pov~
Its getting harder day by day.
Yesterday, again i hurt him. Again i did something i shouldn't. Again i made him feel those feeling that he never should.
His tearing hurtful and angered eyes are still looming in my head when i told him to get lost from my house but those words bring back some bad memories becus when he said how i always get people when i want and make them go away whenever i want, i knew what he's talking about.
Last night porsche told me that while talking to vegas he could see sincerity in his eyes but he didn't trust him as he knows that thats what i want for his own good.
But what Porsche doesn't know is that yesterday everything that Vegas said was with sincerity.
He was not being the cold demeanor Vegas, no, he was almost like the old Vegas who used wear his heart on his sleeve.
After years i never saw Vegas showing emotions to someone else except Macau and.... me.
Does Vegas really likes Porsche?
Everything is getting more complicated. Its like there's no way out from this.
"Mr kinn....mr kinn?!!"
"Huh!" I looked around amd realized that fuck! I again zoned out in a meeting.
"What do you think about the deal?"
I looked at arm who was present today at my side instead of porsche as porsche today wanted to stand behind me guarding as he didn't trust this gang with whom we're having meeting.
I can feel porsche's worried gaze on my head.
Arm gave me a firm little nod. Thankfully he was paying attention to the meeting.
"Sure. Lets seal the deal."
After meeting, i went to my office , while checking the files i noticed one of them is missing. as i couldn't find the file anuwhere, it added more to my irritation.
"Where's the fucking file?!"
I yelled as porsche and pete come running into my office.
"Go and find the file of Chinese mafia gang that came last week in my room." I ordered them as they both almost run out of the office.
Everything is making me tired. And i cant imagine what is going in porsche's head. He must be so confused and probably going insane. I can see he wants to ask me questions about vegas but then he doesn't as he maybe don't want to stress me more.
Porsche, I'll tell you everything. I promise.
You'll find out soon.
Porsche's pov~
Just like last time, Kinn started to zoning out again and again. Today again he looked stress. By looking at him i can tell he didn't sleep much. It makes me feel guilty as i was just sleeping next to him, cuddling him. But i didn't notice it till today's morning.
Yesterday whatever happened makes me more curious to vegas and kinn's past. I just want things to be right. I want kinn to be alright. I want.... Vegas to be alright.
But right now here we are, pete and me, trying to find the file in kinn's room.
As i was wandering around, i mistakenly knock out a photoframe.
"Hey porscheeee~~~ be careful. If something break here, khun kinn is gonna break us!"
"Im sorry! Sorry!" I apologized and pick up the frame and place it on its place before i pick up a paper that came out of the back of the frame.
Well... it was not just a paper, it was a photo. There was Kinn and someone else. They both were smiling. Kinn had that smile which i called special one, which is strictly for me as kinn always says whenever i complement his smile. He had that bright smile in the photo. With that person.
.....but who is he?
"Pete."
"Huh?"
"Who is this?" I said as i showed him the photo. Pete's always smiley face turned into a murderous one.
" Porsche... its Tawan. Khun kinn's ex"
He said while gritting his teeth.
Oh!...
".... you did not liked Tawan?"
" it never mattered if i liked or not, so i never had a opinion on him. Even if i or anyone else had they didn't dare to say anything about him to khun Kinn. But then we get to know that khun Kinn shot him to dead becus he betrayed him. "
"What if....Kinn was just being delusion?"
"Porsche, some people do says that, as Kinn didn't showed any proof to anyone. He didn't have to as he's the one who rules.... but when we killed people for betrayal, we always held a meeting afterwards to see how much destruction had happend by the betrayal. But Kinn refused for the meeting, saying he don't want to do the meeting. People automatically starts thinking that Kinn just becames delusional and killed Tawan only to find out that he never did anything. In the end he have blood of his 'love of the life' on his own hands becus of his own mistake"
I looked at pete stunned. Don't know what to do. How to process this information.
About this did Vegas meant when he says that Kinn have people whenever he wants and throw them out whenever he wants??
But i know Kinn, he's not like how people tells me. He's different from how people describes him. He's differnet from how bodyguards, our enemies, ....vegas describes him.
He's just like a child. Who cares about everyone arounds him. Not show affection but show it through his little actions-
" but porsche.... thats not why i hate Tawan becuz he betrayed khun Kinn. I hates him becuz he made khun kinn fall in love with him but never catch him. He made khun kinn show his vulnerable side but never fix him. He let kinn loves him but he never did. You know, the way khun Kinn was after Tawan was gone is like a nightmare for the whole family and bodyguards for here. We never want to see khun kinn so week. We never want to see our leader like that. Never Ever again." Pete said sadly before going back to search the file.
I took a deep breath and look at the photo again.
Kinn, i promise, I'll never leave you alone. Never betraye you. I'll make sure you know that this time you didn't love the wrong person.
"Porsche!! I got the file!! Lets goooo!!!"
Pete said as he rushed out
I turned my head to the photo and after conflicting in my head i put the photo in my pocket.
I'm gonna get answers today from you Kinn. Not about Vegas yet but about Tawan. Because i know the truth about this is something else.
And i followed pete.
In the evening~
I forget that as i always plan, it never happens.
So right now Tankhun is tugging at my hand as we entered the bar.
Its me, khun, pete, arm and pol.
"Oh my favourite customers are here!!!!" Yok yells as she came and give me kiss on my cheek and hug khun.
"Let the party begin!!!" Khun yelled as i went behind the bar to make drinks and everyone else were getting wild on dancefloor.
After infinite drinks-
I only shake my head in amusement as i saw khun and yok having a dance battle. While arm and pol were.... i guess grinding on each other. Pete was already passed out and have his head on the bar counter. And i was just standing at a corner looking at the chaos.
Suddenly i felt presence beside of me. And by now i know who is this.
" what are you doing here?" I asked
" wanted to talk to you. Alone."
"Vegas.." i turned to him amd sighed.
" porsche please. My guards are also here. So dont worry about anyone else." He said in a pleading way.
"Okay"
I took him to back alley. He follows behind me.
I smile a little as i remember meeting Kinn here for the first time.
I turned around and face Vegas.
" so what do you want to talk about?"
"Porsche please listen to me. Kinn is not a good person when its come to love." I looked at him in disbelief as he have nerves to say something like that after kissing me.
" i know its making you angry listening to this but porsche i just want to save you from him!" He said that as he hold on my both shoulders. You know what, Now he's making me angry.
" Vegas please dont act like you're good. You're the one who kissed me and wanted me just becus you wanted to break kinn! You just want to hurt kinn!!!" I yelled back at him pushing his hands lf my shoulder. The last sentence made vegas looked at me furiously.
" Porsche!!! i told you its not like that!!!! Yes i approach you becus of kinn but i like you that why i kissed you!! Can't you see i desperately wants to save you from that bastard!! " He yelled at me as he slammed me to the wall next to us. I groaned in pain as my back hit the wall pretty badly. It makes Vegas comes out of his anger.
" porsche im sorry!! Im so sorry porsche!!... i..i didn't meant to hurt you!! Im s-so sorry!!" Vegas desperately apologize as he check me if i got hurt. I stood there stunned as i can see his eyes turning glassy
" im so sorry porsche." He said in almost whisper as he put his head on my shoulder and both hands on the side of me, on the walls.
I just took a deep breathe and pull him into a hug as i can feel he is also going through bad time like me and Kinn becuz of what happening from past a month.
He's heavy breathing calm down as i continue to stroke his hair as his head is still on my shoulder. While my other hand is on his waist.
After few more moments he lift his head, now fully calm down and settle next to me.
Now standing, shoulder to shoulder, side by side, leaning on the wall of the back alley way of the bar where i Kinn and i first met.
"Porsche.... i couldn't dreamed of hurting Kinn even accidentally few years backs. When everything was fine. When we both were fine. When i knew i had one person who cared about me. Who loved me." Vegas smiled a little at the last sentence.
" but porsche... time changed, we changed.... kinn changed. He hurted me porsche. The one person who i never thought hurted me so deeply that forced me to changed too." He chuckled sadly and i looked away from him. The hurt on his face is too much to bear. Kinn what did you do?
Vegas continues.
"I never thought it coukd ever be possible.... but kinn made it possible. I thought hating Kinn sounds the most foreign thing. But now kinn and hatred for him is the most familiar thing ever for me. Porsche... i just want to save you from him. Save you from breaking apart. Save you from becoming like me. Like a monster." Vegas said as he reached for my hand and intertwine our fingers as we are still standing in the same position, shoulder to shoulder.
I looked at our hands, then look up at him. I can see now when he said, shoving me to the wall, that he just desperately wants to save me. Its written in his eyes.
He waits for me to say something but nothing gets out of my mouth as my mind is tired of all the information im getting.
Vegas then sighed and looked at me seriously.
" Porsche... im gonna tell you something. "
I can feel him tensing as he said that. I straighten up a little and he held my other hand too as he now come and stand in front of me.
" tell me" i can only whisper as i looked in his eyes that again showed me that he's being sincere about everything he said and he's going to say. And this time its harder for me to think of it as a mask becuz i can feel it. I know it.
" me and Kinn... porsche we were just not cousins" he looked at me for the i guess my reaction, nervously.
" i know vegas, you and kinn were like best friends and soulmates" i said while squeezing his hands comfortly.
" no Porsche... we both were more than cousins. More than best friends. We were more than... soulmates." He said slowly as to make me understand what his trying to say.
More than cousins....
More than best friends....
More than soulmates....
...
Does that mean....??!
Seeing my wide eyes in realization, Vegas step backs letting go of me. Walking away before going out of the door he look back at me,
" please don't hate us... porsche."
And he was gone.