Chapter Eighteen
My initial reaction was to ignore her until my mind went into overdrive; what if she does make the call? Will she get in trouble? Will I get in trouble for wasting time? What if they try to do some tests on me and I become some sort of human lab rat? Don't they end up growing extra hands and legs in random parts of their bodies? I could not live with that.
I could hear the tone of her dialling the numbers and decided it wasn't worth the hassle.
"No, wait!" I attempted to shout but my voice came out croaky from the lack of use.
"Oh, Aaliyah, did I hear something?" Khadra teased. I could almost hear the smirk in her voice. "I told ya."
"Yeah yeah, whatever," Aaliyah groaned. "You're always right," she replied mockingly.
I was hit with a pang of jealously as I noticed how friendly the two had become.
"We're waiting, are you going to let us in?" Khadra questioned after a few moments of silence.
I reluctantly got off the bed, my body aching from the lack of movement. I stretched to release some of the tension in my body only for it to backfire as my arms cramped up. I massaged each arm for a few seconds in turn until the pain resided.
"Hello?"
"I'm coming," I replied after clearing my throat.
I looked around the room and suddenly became conscious of how messy it had become; Stacks and stacks of plates and cups had accumulated over the past weeks. Some of my clothes were scattered on the floor and some on the bed. My room basically had a makeover and not exactly the good kind. I thought of cleaning up the room a little before opening the door but the way I felt just made me cringe. I just couldn't be bothered.
"Sometime today would be nice," Khadra commented.
"Stop it!" Aaliyah replied.
"Ouch! That hurt!" Khadra moaned. Aaliyah must have hit her.
With a deep breath, I made my way to the door. I used the little strength I had left to move the wardrobe out of the way, replacing it with my own weight against the door.
"Before I open the door, make sure no one else comes in," I instructed.
I didn't want to see anyone but if it had to be someone at least it was them.
"Oh-kay?" Khadra replied, coming out more of a question than an answer.
"Promise me!"
"Okay, we promise."
I took another deep breath before opening the door the slightest to ensure only Khadra and Aaliyah were around. I flinched from the bright light in the corridor, blinking a few times to adjust to the lighting and when it was confirmed that it was just the two of them, I pulled it wide enough to fit them through before I shut the door again. I leaned my body against the door so that no one else could come in.
I was a little surprised to see that Aaliyah's hair was hidden under a beige, chiffon hijab. When did she start wearing that? I later found out that Khadra had gifted her a few of them. The rest of her outfit was what I was used to; another hoodie and a pair of jeans.
"My God! You really have been living in here like a pig," Khadra commented after she had switched on the bedroom light.
"Khadra! Not now!" Aaliyah whispered as she elbowed her side.
"Ouch!" She began rubbing the pained spot.
I slid down against the door and sat on the floor, my weight still against the door. Khadra finally looked at my face and gasped. She rushed towards me, sitting next to me and gave me a hug. Aaliyah joined us, sitting on my other side, albeit reluctantly. She hesitantly embraced us too. This gesture from both of them caused tears to overflow. I missed the comfort, the warmth, of another. We were like this for some time. No one spoke but they let me cry.
"I'm okay," I eventually sniffed, shrugging the two off me when their weight became too much to bear.
"You will be," Khadra countered.
"I'm okay," I repeated, more to myself than anyone else, hoping to convince myself.
There was another wave of silence after that. My mind was running a hundred miles per hour due to the silence and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to say something.
"I can't do this anymore," I croaked.
"Do what?" Aaliyah asked with curiosity.
"This. Just... Everything." I settled on. "My life is over."
"Everything will be okay, everything will always be okay in the end," Aaliyah responded.
"How?" I furrowed my eyes at her, angry at her optimism.
"Allah (SWT) never leaves his beloved servants alone. Just trust in Him."
I grumbled to myself.
"You have been praying, right?" Khadra asked cautiously. "Please don't lose your prayers."
"Barely," I admitted.
"What do you mean?" she panicked.
"I mean...I have been praying but I can barely concentrate in them. I give up all hope," I sighed.
Khadra opened and closed her mouth like a fish but didn't end up saying anything. We were met with more silence.
"Do you know about Prophet Ayub (AS)?" Aaliyah eventually asked.
I was caught off guard, not expecting this question at all and more significantly, not expecting it from her. I sought forgiveness under my breath for judging her once again. I'm not sure I will ever get used to how knowledgeable she is.
"Erm..." I trailed off. "I think so."
I began trying to recall the story of the Prophets, going through the library in my mind but everything just seemed jumbled up. I couldn't exactly think straight. Aaliyah waited for an answer patiently, encouraging me with a smile.
"The Prophet that was disobedient to Allah (SWT) so Allah caused him to be eaten by a whale?" It was more of a question than an answer because I wasn't too sure I was right. I started thinking about how this was related to my situation.
"No, that's Prophet Yunus (AS). Prophet Ayub (AS) went through every test you can imagine. He had wealth, health and was very strong. He was very humble and always thanked Allah for everything he had. Shaytan did not like this, however, and with the permission of Allah (SWT) took away everything he had to stop him from worshipping Allah (SWT). He started off with his Salah and when Ayub (AS) was not distracted, he went for his wealth, taking away his land, servants and money. When Shaytan saw that Ayub (AS) continued to be thankful and worship Allah (SWT), he thought taking away his children will cause the Prophet to stop worshipping Allah (SWT). So Ayub (AS) lost all of his children and when that did not work, his next target was his health. When he took that away, making Ayub (AS) very weak and sick (only leaving control over his heart and tongue), Ayub (AS) continued to glorify Allah (SWT). Everyone in town began commenting on the situation, saying "if Ayub was a good person, then Allah wouldn't have done this to him." They deserted him, leaving Ayub (AS) with nothing except for his wife. Still, he didn't question Allah (SWT)." Aaliyah paused at this moment.
"Oh yeah, I knew this, just forgot," I mentioned. "I think..."
"Okay, well, there's more to this but essentially Allah (SWT) gave him back everything he lost. Do you see how beautiful the patience of Ayub (AS) was?" she finished.
I sighed. "I just... can't." I must admit that I was a little embarrassed that I gave up so quickly.
"Of course, you can!" Khadra added.
"How can I? Khadra, you know! You know I left this house with such high hopes but I'm back here all over again. I can't do this anymore. How can I just come back here? I'm such a failure, I couldn't even make my marriage work. I fought for this; to marry him and now I will just have to listen to my father say that he was right all along and I should have listened to him in the first place. Who will want me now?" I rambled on, recalling my father's words.
"Hafeezah, what are you talking about?" Khadra questioned.
"My marriage, it's over," I replied bluntly.
"No, it's not! Don't be like this. You can't just end your marriage like that."
"I'm not the one who ended it! He did." I couldn't bring myself to say his name.
"Honestly, I don't understand what you are on about," Khadra admitted and Aaliyah nodded in agreement.
"How can you guys be so silly? Why would I still be married to him when he wants to marry someone else?"
"Okay, stop talking in codes and tell us exactly what you mean!" khadra demanded.
"Aaliyah, you were there. Why are you acting like you know nothing? Are you literally pretending what I saw didn't happen? His Mum didn't bring a family over for marriage to my husband? He came home to meet them. They planned all this on purpose while I wasn't there. Oh, you know, what I don't understand is why she kept telling me to come home if this is what she was planning," I burst, losing my patience.
"Wait, no, Hafeezah, you got it all wrong. That's not what happened. You barely gave anyone time to explain," Aaliyah answered, calmly compared to me.
"What could I have gotten wrong? I saw it with my own eyes!"
"Hafeezah, it's okay. Let Aaliyah explain to you what she told me. I'm sure you will see where there was some misunderstanding," Khadra chimed in.
"If it's all some misunderstanding then why hasn't he come to see me himself?"
"Okay, let me explain from the beginning."
"Go on..." I prompted, not ready to believe anything other than what I had already thought.
"So you already know that I called you to come because I thought your mother-in-law was up to something. I think for a while, she asked you when you were coming home so that she could plan this all properly while you weren't here," she began.
"Okay..." Nothing I would put past Mum. That was believable.
"Well, I also called your husband using her phone when she left it in the kitchen unlocked. I don't think he knew anything about it either. I ––"
"Stop!" This new revelation took time to sink in. For weeks I had convinced myself otherwise and it was hard to believe anything different. I felt a wave of relief wash over me though.
"What happened after that?" I questioned eventually when I was ready to hear the rest.
"Everything happened so fast after that. His mum suddenly collapsed and was taken to hospital. I did hear that she was fine and it was a panic attack but they kept her in for a few extra days because she complained of some pain," Aaliyah continued.
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah."
"But then how did she come here? She spoke through the door once, urging me to come out and come home," I frowned. None of it makes sense.
Mum visited me once, using endearing words to beg me to come home.
"I mean, she was doing fine once they discharged her but apparently she's still a little weak so Dula Bhai has been taking care of her," Khadra answered. "I bet she came to find out what you've said. That witch is capable of anything!"
"Khadra, no! Don't say stuff like that, especially if you don't know the truth," Aaliyah scolded.
"I know this woman and she doesn't do anything for a good reason." khadra rolled her eyes.
"So why hasn't he come but she found the time?"
"I'm not too sure about that. I've been staying over at Khadra's house since that incident, it didn't feel right to stay there," Aaliyah replied.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! You were only there because of me and then I abandoned you! I didn't even think about anything else. I'm a terrible person," I rambled on, realising what I had done and how it had affected her.
"Let's call him and find out then," Khadra commented, re-directing the conversation back to the matter at hand.
"No!" I wasn't ready.
"Why?"
"Look at me," I pointed to myself.
"I'm sure he'll understand," Khadra deadpanned. "You need to speak to him. Sort this out."
"He won't listen to me," I tried in a last attempt to deter her.
"Okay look, let's help you clean up here while you freshen yourself up. It's time to face the world, Hafeezah. You can't just flee from your problems all the time," she said, matter-of-factly.
I didn't want to face the world but I knew she was right. I sighed and gave both girls a squeeze on their hands in agreement before grabbing some clothes and heading into the bathroom for a shower.
The next couple of hours passed with visitors. Amma called Khala and the rest of the family came to see me. Unlike my own parents, Khala was very understanding and she comforted me through my ordeal.
~~~
Eijaz's point of view
I sat on the prayer mat, wondering where it had all gone wrong. One second I was planning a surprise for my wife when she returned home. I felt extremely guilty for losing my temper with her and the longer she stayed away the worse I felt. I was going to take a few days off from work to give her time but the next second, things just got out of control. For the last couple of weeks, I was in and out of the hospital when Mum was admitted for a few days, Hafeezah would not answer my calls or texts and to top it off, I have no idea what actually happened. Mum insists that Hafeezah was just overreacting over some guests but things just don't seem to add up here. Between taking care of Mum and going to work, it's been difficult to manage anything else.
I wanted to speak to Hafeezah but Mum mentioned she didn't want to see me after she visited her on one of the days I had to go to work. The house was in such a state that I had to hire a maid to clean the house once a week, which meant I had to work longer hours for better pay.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out to find Khadra was calling me. My stomach churned with nerves; this surely can only be about Hafeezah.
"Assalamu alaikum," I greeted.
"Waalaikum assalam, dula bhai." She returned the greeting.
"How are you? Have you spoken to Hafeezah? How is she?" I was worried.
"Alhamdulillah. Come see for yourself."
She finally wanted to see me. I was not going to pass up the chance. As much as I was still annoyed at everything that had happened, my worry overpowered that.
"Meet us at the café by the park, I'll text you the postcode," Khadra instructed.
"Wait, why a café? Isn't she at her parent's house?"
"She just wants some privacy; she'll explain everything when you're there." How ironic, privacy in a public place?
I shrugged my shoulders; if that's how she wants to do things.
Seconds later, my phone vibrated with the indication of a text, which was the address of the café. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a light blue shirt, pocketing my phone and keys. Making my way to Mum's room, where she was resting, I knocked before I entered. I sighed at the sight in front of me; she seemed to have aged in the last few weeks. She sat on her bed, her eyes focused on the knitting in hand.
"Mum," I called to her.
When she looked up, she raised an eyebrow. "Are you going out, beta?"
"Yes, I'm going to see Hafeezah."
The moment I mentioned her name, the colour drained from her face.
"Oh, let me come with you." Mum made to get up off the bed. She must be so worried for Hafeezah.
"No, Mum, you need to rest," I countered, holding her arm to gently place her back into the bed.
"I'm fine, I want to make sure she is okay. We haven't heard from or seen her in such a while, if I wasn't so weak, I would have gone to visit her more often. She left here in such a state, and didn't allow me to explain. Only Allah knows what she was thinking."
"Mum, please. Stay. Besides, the maid is coming today. You need to tell the maid what needs to be done," I instructed, trying to be firm yet gentle with my words.
I can't have Mum walking around, affecting her health even further. She gave us a massive scare when she ended up in the hospital, even both my sisters came to visit but they couldn't stay long. I called Dad and he's decided to come back as soon as possible, the next flight available being in a week and a half's time.
Defeated, she settled back on the bed and picked up her knitting needles.
"I'll be back soon." I gave her a kiss on the forehead and left the house, making my way to my car.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. What's going to happen? After this much time, I really don't want to get into another argument. I just want to sort things out. This drama has gone on for too long. I hope she has been well but I'm ready to just put all this behind us and start afresh.
I parked up close to the café, paid for the parking and headed inside. I searched the busy café, my gaze finally landing on the trio I was looking for in the far corner. I could see Khadra's face, Aaliyah's side profile and Hafeezah's back. There was a vacant seat between khadra and Hafeezah. I gulped and took a deep breath before heading in their direction.
"Assalamu alaikum," I greeted the three, my gaze going from Khadra, Aaliyah and then the back of Hafeezah's head.
She jumped in her seat, not expecting anyone to talk and twisted her body slightly to look at me.
"Waalaikum Assalam," the three responded in unison.
Upon closer inspection, I noticed the clothes Hafeezah was wearing didn't fit her the way they used to; it was like they were eating her up completely. Did she lose weight?
I quickly sat on the empty seat and took Hafeezah's hand in mine. It definitely felt bonier.
"Are you okay, what happened?" I fired at her immediately, worry taking over any other emotion I felt.
"Alhamdulillah," she responded
"Don't lie to him, you're not okay. Dula Bhai, she hasn't eaten properly for weeks. You do know that today is the first time anyone has managed to get her out of her old room since the day she left the house? She barricaded herself in for weeks," Khadra interrupted.
"What?" My voice came out in a shout and caused them to jump. "Sorry."
"Yeah and ––" Khadra began but Hafeezah cut her off.
"That's enough, I'd like to speak to him alone please." Her voice was so weak and croaky.
"I need to know the truth, Hafeezah. What's been going on?" I questioned.
Hafeezah looked at Khadra and Aaliyah expectantly.
"Come on, Khadra. Let's give them some privacy," Aaliyah spoke up for the first time, dragging Khadra up and pulling her away.
I stroked Hafeezah's hand – wow, they really were much thinner. I looked into her tired eyes but she refused to look back, her eyes fixed on our touching hands.
"Hafeezah," I spoke gently. "What happened? How did you get like this?"
"Why didn't you come for me?" She asked instead.
I was taken aback. I thought she didn't want to see me.
"Huh?"
"Why didn't you come? I was waiting," she repeated.
I watched her eyes glass over with tears.
"I..." I trailed off unsure of how to respond. I wanted to but I thought she didn't want me there.
She raised her head, her eyes meeting mine and she gazed at me expectantly.
"I wanted to but I thought you didn't want me to," I settled on.
"Who told you that? Was it Mum?" The accusations had started.
I didn't know whether to answer that. I didn't come here to fight. I came to take her home.
"Yeah." I also didn't want to lie.
Hafeezah lowered her gaze again, taking her hand away from mine.
"She lied," she mumbled, almost as if she didn't want me to hear that.
I took a few deep breaths, urging myself to stay calm. I had to think long and hard about my responses.
"Hafeezah, I don't want to fight."
"Then don't." Still no eye contact.
I reached over, my index finger under her chin and gently pushed it upwards so that her gaze met mine.
"Hafeezah, please. I want you home." I grabbed her hand again, placing it between both of mine.
The girl I was staring at was not my Hafeezah. What happened to her?
"I'm not coming home if she's there." Her tone was full of disgust.
"Why, what happened that day?" I asked.
"You don't want to fight."
"Hafeezah, please, just tell me."
"You won't believe me."
There was defeat in her tone. Something about this just made me want to believe her.
"Try me." I gave her an encouraging smile.
"Your mother is trying to break our marriage. She has been from the moment she walked into our house. From the d––"
"Hold on a minute," I interrupted.
"If you are not going to listen to me, you can just go home now. I'm tired of all this, Eijaz, you know. I don't want to live anymore."
My mouth fell open from her confession. She doesn't want to live anymore? I quickly shuffled my chair closer to her, put my arm around her and pulled her to my side. How did I not know this is how she felt?
"I just can't do this anymore." I heard her sniff. "Your Mum..."
She trailed off, probably expecting me to interrupt her once again but when I didn't, she continued.
"Your Mum has been harassing me and lying to you. I have always done the cooking and cleaning. She just does it in front of you. I have been trying to take care of her, following every command she gives me. She doesn't let me out of the house. But... but the other day, that was the last straw. She is trying to get you remarried right in front of me, Eijaz. How am I supposed to handle that?"
"Remarried? But I don't want to get remarried. I'm married to you and that's the way I want it."
"You don't?"
It saddened me that she didn't believe me.
"Hafeezah, why would I want to get married again? We fought so hard for this! I remember the struggle we went through, especially you. I want nobody else. I just want our relationship to be good again."
"I feel abandoned," she mumbled into my shirt.
"By?"
"You."
"Hafeezah, please come home. We can sort this out."
"No, I'm not coming home for as long as she doesn't admit what she has done."
"I believe you..." I trailed off.
The last few weeks made the truth a little more evident. On the days that Mum claimed she was completely fine, she hadn't lifted a finger. The dishes were barely done although she complained about how hard things were and how she needs someone to help around the house. She cooked only when she felt like it and the rest of the days just complained. I did my best to clean and cook but it was hard to tackle everything in one go. I also noticed that she didn't mention anything that needed fixing around the house, which was strange because too often this needed to happen previously.
"Has she told you this herself?"
I shook my head.
"Then until she does, I am not coming home, Eijaz."
~~~
Assalamu alaikum! I don't think I have done an authors note in a long while.
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who is reading this, even after I suck at uploading at times.
Ambersarah27 - tried to make this a little longer just for you, hehe.