It was dark, but I didn't mind it.
It felt like I was floating in a sea of emptiness and serenity. I had no concerns in this silence.
There were no responsibilities, no feelings of love or fear, no Crown Trials. I was just drowning in a never-ending ocean of peace.
Then the darkness was disturbed by a spark of orange, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. I was surrounded by blackness again, although the atmosphere no longer felt as safe as before.
I closed my eyes again, searching for the sense of peace I'd felt only moments ago.
The image of my family appeared in my mind. Their broad smiles and their arms welcoming me home as I step through the doors to our new home. It dimmed the rising anxiety, but only shortly before another light erased the clarity of my family's faces.
I opened my eyes to see what had penetrated the darkness when Knox's burning eyes pierced mine. I screamed, but no sound reached my ears.
Knox smiled, and a flame burning brighter than the sun engulfed his hand before he reached out to let the fire take hold of my body. I still couldn't scream, but the misery painted across my face as all-consuming colors charred my skin had Knox smile even wider.
***
I sat up with a start, heaving for air to cool my burning throat.
My skin pricked as if the flames were still scorching my frail human body, but I was no longer in the cool, empty darkness. Instead, I was surrounded by waves of white in a room that had become as familiar to me as my old house.
Strands of hair clung to my damp forehead as my mind desperately tried to convince my pounding heart that the danger was gone. I was in my room, safe from the blaze of Knox's wrath.
"Willow?"
I cringed and looked to my left, still huffing from the vivid horrors my treacherous mind had devised to torture me.
"Caiden?" I whispered, my voice hoarse.
Caiden was sitting in the chair where I'd spent endless hours reading to escape my current reality. He looked like he'd barely been sleeping.
His white dress shirt had been unbuttoned halfway down his chest, and the cuffs had been opened for his arms to breathe. The tie hung loosely around his neck, and his shoes were lying disoriented around the chair.
"How are you feeling?" Caiden asked and got up to slowly approach the bed. "Does anything hurt?"
I shook my head, lost for words, and too embarrassed to even look at him. He'd seen everything yesterday.
"I, um..." I mumbled, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the memories of last night. It all still felt so vividly alive in my mind, as if Knox's touch had left a searing trail still lingering on my skin. "I just..."
My hands were shaking. I didn't want Caiden to know where Knox's lips had brushed against my skin, but I couldn't wait for him to leave either. I felt filthier than the time Koa had pushed me into a puddle of foul-smelling mud.
I discreetly raised my hand to my forehead and began rubbing my sleeve against my skin as I struggled to keep the scorching tears from welling up in the corners of my eyes. I didn't want Caiden to see me cry either, but a rogue tear escaped my will.
"Where did he touch you?"
My chest grew tight, and I stopped breathing. My eyes hesitantly found Caiden's and saw the dark veil of rage blackening his eyes.
"Caiden," I whispered, fearing his reaction if I told him honestly. "I don't—"
"Where did he touch you, Willow?" he asked again and grabbed my hand before I could pull away. "And don't lie to me because I saw him."
My heart dropped to my stomach. I'd almost forgotten that Caiden had found us mere seconds before Knox's lips had marked my neck. Caiden had seen it, and he was probably disgusted by me.
"Tell me," Caiden said again, but I shook my head.
"I— I can't, Caiden," I stuttered, fearing that my voice would betray me, but my stupid body had already given Caiden everything he needed to know.
Caiden raised his hand from the bed and let his thumb gently graze my forehead. "Here?" he asked.
I looked away, unable to detain my tears any longer. It didn't matter what I said, he already knew.
I was expecting him to storm out of the room and report me to the king, but instead, I felt something soft and warm brush against my brow. Caiden's collar smelled like freshly ground coffee with undertones of faint spices.
My entire body was paralyzed, and my mind was unsure how to react to this overwhelming sensation. Then Caiden drew back to catch my eyes.
"Tell me, Willow," he whispered, "and let me erase the memories of that bastard."
My heart was thundering. I had to remind myself to keep breathing, although this could easily still be part of a dream.
The sensible words were stuck in my throat, and Caiden didn't have the patience to wait for me. Instead, he dived his face into my neck and kissed my bare skin where Knox's lips would've marked me.
"Caiden!" I gasped, but his grip on me remained firm. My skin was burning, but the heat was pleasant. It made my heart flutter wildly, and the hairs on my body rose as every muscle in my body tensed.
My hand automatically raised to his chest, allowing me to feel his heart race almost as fast as my own. "Caiden, wait," I said again, my voice shocking me. It didn't sound like me.
His hands slid to my jaws as his lips traced the pulsing vein on my neck. "I don't want to wait anymore, Willow," he whispered, kissing the remaining tears away from my cheeks. "I can't."
I felt drunk as his breath warmed the skin on my face. A few moments more, and I would be his. A few more moments and I—
A loud knock on my door broke the spell cast upon me.
"Willow?" a familiar voice called for me.
Caiden smiled, and a disappointed chuckle left the lips that had been so close to meeting mine. I still wasn't quite sure what had happened.
"It seems like I haven't been the only one worrying about you, Aldwyn," Caiden said and pulled away from me. "I'm sure Miss Weldon has been straining herself from coming here since the dawn broke through her bedroom window."
Caiden started buttoning his shirt before retrieving his cloak from the chair. "I'll leave the two of you to talk but find me when you're ready. I'll be waiting."
I remained mute as he opened the door.
"Prince Atlas!" Piper exclaimed as she found Caiden standing before her.
"Good morning, Miss Weldon. I just came by to check on Miss Aldwyn's health, but I believe I can leave her in your care."
Piper gave a confident nod, although her gaze kept shifting back and forth between Caiden and me. Caiden recognized her impatience right away and let her pass without another word.
"Oh, Will!" Piper exclaimed as she threw her arms around me once Caiden closed the door behind him. "Were you hurt? Did that creep touch you?"
My cheeks burned as she repeated the words Caiden had asked me before his lips had started exploring my face and neck.
"I— I'm alright, Piper," I said, forcing myself to forget Caiden's warmth and embrace for a moment. She couldn't know. "I'm not injured or anything."
"Are you sure?" she asked again, and I nodded confidently.
"Atlas saved me before Knox could do anything. I'm just tired."
Piper made herself comfortable beside me and trapped my body between her arms. "You really scared me, Will," she said, sniffling as if she was about to cry. "You scared all of us."
I smiled, calmly listening to her heart beating heavily in her chest. "Does Calla know?" I asked.
Piper let me go and looked at me with curious eyes. "Didn't Atlas tell you?" she asked and wiped away a tear.
"Tell me what?"
"She's not part of the Crown Trials anymore."
"What?" I exclaimed and threw the blanket off me. "Was she sent home? Why hasn't she said anything?"
Piper chuckled, but her expression didn't look particularly entertained. "No... No, Atlas didn't send her home. She made such an impression on Elvara that she was offered a spot among her Flare Warrior trainees."
Calla? A Flare Warrior. Was that even possible?
"Aren't the Flare Warriors all Fire Wielders?" I asked. "How does an Air Wielder fit into that picture?"
Piper shrugged. "I haven't heard about it before, but Elvara must've seen something in her that she believed was bigger than the elements. I'll miss her, but I'm proud of her. Calla always talked about her dream of becoming a warrior before the Crown Trials. I couldn't imagine her being happier than being trained by the best warrior alive."
She was right. Calla had always talked about how far she'd pushed herself to become the best, and now her hard work had been acknowledged. I should be over the moon for her.
"Do you think she has what it takes to become a Templar?" I asked, gently pushing Piper's shoulder. She might be happy for Calla, but our friend was no longer among us, which was hard to accept with a raised chin.
Piper chuckled. "I wouldn't be surprised if she shows up dressed in their traditional robes in a few months."
I also chuckled, imagining Calla in the same attire as I'd seen Coralyn weeks ago.
"So," Piper said, tightening the knot that kept her robe together. "It was kind of Atlas to check up on you."
I couldn't look at her as I nodded. Caiden had done more than check up on me, and my blue cheeks would give me away.
"He is a very kind person," she added, making something in me quiver.
Her fingers played with the corner of my blanket. I'd known her for long enough to know what it meant when she did that.
"I—" she said but quickly paused to take a short breath. "I didn't plan to say anything yet, but I need to say it to someone, and I know I can trust you."
I didn't want to hear it, but I couldn't bring myself to say that to my friend, so I kept my mouth shut and braced myself for the inevitable.
"I think I really like him, Will," she said, making my fears part of the very reality I was stuck in.
"I— I'm not sure if he likes me too, but we've been talking a lot during the past two weeks, and it's been," she paused and sighed as if she recalled her most precious memories. "I feel like we've connected on a much deeper level than I've ever experienced with anyone. I never thought it was possible to feel this way about someone."
My stomach twisted, and I felt the blood drain from my face. I wanted to scream. I wanted to beat myself beyond recognition.
I'd broken Piper's trust. I'd told her numerous times that I wasn't here for Caiden; I'd promised her that I was only here to understand my element and nothing more. And now she was declaring her love for Caiden to me right after that same person had nearly kissed me.
Piper could easily recognize my paralyzed expression, but as trusting as her pure soul was, she misinterpreted what it signified.
"I'm sorry, Will; I didn't mean to dump this on you so unexpectedly. You still haven't recovered. Just rest, and we'll— we'll discuss it later," she said, stuttering as if she thought she'd offended me somehow. "I'll be in my room or the parlor, so come and find me whenever you feel ready."
Then she left as she'd come and closed the door behind her.
I kept staring at the wall across from me as if I was hoping that the blank surface would give me the answers I needed. It wouldn't.
I'd come dangerously close to giving in to my forbidden desires, and there was no doubt in my mind that Caiden felt the same way.
I didn't know what would happen the next time I saw him, but I couldn't risk it. Piper interrupting us again could only have been another sign from the spirits. Caiden and I were not meant to be together.
I threw the blanket off me and rushed out of my room.
"Art!" I shouted as I burst open the door to his study. "Art!"
Art's head became visible from behind one of the statues. "Willow? Why aren't you in bed?"
"I did it, Art," I said between breaths. I'd been sprinting here, and it took everything I had to keep from collapsing. "I teleported, and it wasn't half-hearted. You promised me that I could go home once I mastered teleporting, and I did."
My legs were shaking as if we were standing in the middle of an earthquake. I was anxious about Art's answer, but I needed him to agree. I didn't know what I would do if he didn't.
"Slow down," Art said, bringing a chair with him as he approached me. "Where is this coming from."
I'd charged in here with a demand that should be easy to justify, especially given what he already knew, but I didn't even know where to begin.
Art sighed. "You had a rough day yesterday. Why don't you go back to your room and—"
"No," I said and looked up at him with tears welling in my eyes. "I have to go home, Art! I'm ready, and I don't know what I might do if I stay. You promised—"
"I promised that you could go home when you mastered your element," he said, his voice firm.
I looked at him, widening my eyes as if he'd cut a wound deep enough to graze the bone. He didn't waver.
"You might have teleported, Willow, but you have not mastered the element. Teleporting is more than traveling from one place to another. It's not something to be handled lightly, and I cannot let you go home before you understand that."
Art was my master, and I respected him more than anyone before, but I had to go home. No matter what.
"What do you want from me, Art!" I shouted and pushed the chair away from me. "I've already done everything you've asked of me—"
"I want you to stop acting like a teenager, Willow, and grow up! Imagine what would happen if you teleported out there and depleted your energy reserves, leaving yourself fully vulnerable to any potential danger. What would you have done if you hadn't been able to knock out Mr Deveroux yesterday and Caiden hadn't been there?"
My throat constricted. I knew he was right, but I couldn't stay. I would only hurt Piper or get myself banned to the dungeons and probably my family with me. I'd convinced nearly everyone that I wasn't part of this competition to become Caiden's, but I'd lied.
I'd lied to myself for so many months and almost screwed up everything I'd worked so hard for in a matter of hours. If Piper hadn't interrupted us, I don't know what would've happened.
"Alright," Art said when I didn't answer him. "Show me."
"What?"
"Prove to me that you've mastered teleportation, and I'll talk to my brother about sending you home. Teleport from where you are to the windows in the back."
"Now?" I asked nervously, biting my cheek, hoping for him to at least give me until tonight to recover, but he nodded.
"If you can do it now, I'll comply with your request, but if you can't, Willow, you'll stay part of the Crown Trials and attend your sessions with me until the third trial has ended."
I held my breath. Art knew I couldn't do it, but he was forcing me to prove that I wasn't yet ready to go home.
We stared at each other for a few minutes until Art broke away. "Then it's decided," he said before he walked to the table beside us to look through the endless stacks of paper. "I will see you again tomorrow at the usual time."
I bit my lip, and instead of responding, I dashed toward the door with furious steps. It was a childish way of expressing my frustration, but I didn't care and slammed the door behind me before I hurried down the corridors, fighting to keep the tears at bay.
My room was still as empty as when I'd left it. Faye must've been given the day off so I could rest, but I wasn't planning to rest.
I changed into something comfortable and collected my weapons before heading toward the tunnels. If I trained hard and mastered teleportation the way Art expected me to, he'd have to allow me to go home before the last trial. After all, I didn't know if the final trial would be announced tomorrow or months from now. I couldn't avoid Caiden or lie to Piper for that long.
I sighed, relieved when I found the Battle Arena empty. Company was not what I needed right now.
I pressed one of the buttons on the environment board and waited until the stuffed dummies were lined up in a row of targets. Then, I threw my bag and staff into a corner before lining up across from the first dummy.
Its white face was like a canvas for me to imagine whoever I wanted and then do whatever I pleased.
I grabbed the first fan blade clinging to my belt. Then I looked up to find the dummy staring blankly at me and focused my gaze until I could see those burning eyes in front of me — the smug smile that used to terrify me and the black hair shining in its flame-like waves.
My stomach churned with wrath as consuming as the demands of teleportation. I let it consume me for once, and then I threw the blade.
The head came off cleanly as the blade cut through the fabric like butter. It felt great, but it felt even better knowing that Tarkan's face was next.
I moved to the second dummy and readied the other fan blade for my next attack.
"Damn it!" I screamed as I heard the metal of the fan blade crash into the floor without having left a scratch on the dummy. I didn't have another weapon on me, so I was forced to walk my way to the misfire and pick it up to try again.
Tarkan's blond curls fell softly around his pointing ears. His piercing blue eyes were hidden behind his lowered eyebrows, and the left corner of his mouth was tugged upward as if he was taunting me.
I was almost unsure which of the two monsters I despised the most: the one who compelled me to reveal my true colors or the one who had attempted to kill me countless times during my stay here.
"I thought I might find you here."
I swallowed a gasp as I looked to find Alia closing the doors behind her. I hadn't even heard her enter.
"Did you come for a rematch?" I asked, sending my blade toward the stuffed dummy, savoring the sound of its head falling to the ground.
"I heard what happened," Alia said, carefully approaching me in her delicate dress. "Willow, I—"
"I'm not in the mood for you right now, Alia," I said, interrupting her before picking up my fan blades for another round. "Please, just leave me alone."
She didn't leave. Instead, she continued to stare at me as if I was some freak. I wanted to ignore her, but the silence was deafening, even more so than if she'd been screaming at me.
"Would you just get out, Alia!" I shouted, but she still didn't move. I sighed but couldn't make myself look at her. "Why are you even here? To gloat? To figure out if I was sent home because I wasn't. I'm sorry, but I wasn't. Art wouldn't—"
Something warm surrounded me — an embrace. "I'm sorry, Willow," Alia whispered into my ear. "I'm so sorry that I didn't believe you."
"Alia..." I whispered, my voice muffled by her shoulder, but she didn't loosen her grip. "Alia, please let me go."
I couldn't tell if she was playing games with me or was up to something else, but I wasn't going to fall for her tricks again.
"I have a secret too," Alia suddenly blurted, making me stop resisting her. "Caiden is the only one who knows, and I— I—"
Was she crying?
"Like you, I never wanted to be part of the Crown Trials," she revealed, making me freeze where I stood, surrounded by Alia's arms. "But my parents... I couldn't disappoint my parents."
"Alia, hold up," I said, freeing myself from her grip before she ended up suffocating me. "What are you saying?"
She sighed and sat down, tears running down her cheeks and spoiling her otherwise flawless makeup. I knelt beside her, bitterly hating myself for a moment's pleasure in seeing her this way.
"As I said back at the infirmary, I've known Caiden and the royal family since I was a child. My father is the king's royal advisor, so I spent most of my childhood at this castle whenever I wasn't training with Elvara."
I couldn't deal with her problems too right now. I had enough of my own. "Alia, I'm sorry if I've—"
"Listen, Willow," she said and grabbed my arm before I could escape her. "I love Caiden; I always have, but I love him only like I would a brother. My heart has already been stolen by another, but my parents don't know. Only Caiden does."
I wasn't sure how I was supposed to respond to that. "So, why are you here if you didn't want to? Couldn't you just have failed the exams or passed as number two or three?"
She'd doubted my story before, so I knew how it felt to be questioned like this, but she hadn't yet proved worthy of my trust.
"My parents were ecstatic when I showed the signs of a Fire Iridis for the first time. Their daughter could be the next queen, and I already had a greater chance than others because of their ties to the royal family, but I couldn't win on that alone. So, they pushed me to become the best. They gave me little free time, and I barely had any friends aside from Caiden. I dedicated my life to their cause just like they'd dedicated their life to me, but then I met Eileen."
More tears welled in Alia's eyes, and her voice turned erratic. I could almost feel the lump in my throat grow just by watching her crumble.
"Eileen was smart and funny. She showed me that life could be more than training and school. She showed me what love is supposed to be, and at that moment, I decided that I would reject the offer of becoming a suitor once the opportunity was presented to me.
When the time came, and Alaric offered me the option, I broke. My parents watched me with such hope for our future and pride in their eyes, and I'd accepted before I even knew it."
She paused, taking a deep breath not to stumble over her words. I could see the pain smeared across her face, but I was unsure if it was okay for me to comfort her.
"Eileen got so angry with me after that. She begged me to tell my parents about our relationship and reject the offer from Alaric, but I knew that nothing good would come of it. She was a First-Blood. My parents would never approve of her, and they'd almost certainly pursue her for a crime she didn't commit. So, I broke it off, and I decided to remain part of the Crown Trials to help Caiden find a suitable wife and Heliac a suitable queen."
I swallowed the urge to ask her why she thought this information justified her actions against me, but I had a feeling that the truth would surface if I were patient.
"I only wanted what was best for Caiden, and he knows that," Alia explained," but being queen isn't all sunshine and rainbows. People can be cruel and horrible, and I needed to be sure that Heliac's future queen wouldn't have to rely on Caiden's protection to fulfill the responsibilities of a royal, so I played the mean and bitter suitor to weed out the weak. But then you appeared out of nowhere. I didn't know who you were, but that story that Evie told us just seemed too improbable to be true. I just couldn't—"
"Why didn't you just ask Caiden about me? Wouldn't he have told you the truth if you're such good friends?" I asked, my heart racing. She wanted something from me; I just didn't know what. Or maybe she already knew what had happened between Caiden and me.
Alia chuckled and dried off the tears from her cheeks.
"Caiden never kissed me," Alia admitted, answering a question I hadn't yet asked. "He never kissed Tanith or Arisu either. I told them to say that to throw everyone off their game, most of all you."
She got up and pulled me with her.
"I've seen how he looks at you, Willow," she said, her amber eyes watching me closely. "I've seen how you look at him, too, but ask yourself this: do you think you're ready for a royal life? A queen, nonetheless. Are you prepared to play the game and put the people of Heliac before all else? Before your own family?"
The muscles in my jaws tightened. My feelings for Caiden had often made me forget that he was Heliac's crown prince. He wasn't simply another boy from my street, and being with him meant accepting a queen's responsibilities. I hadn't been raised like that. I had no idea how to run an entire world.
Alia noticed my hesitation. "I don't mean to hurt you, Willow, but I need you to understand that you'll witness suffering that you never knew existed, and you won't be able to help everyone. You'll have to prioritize like any diplomat and please those with a more comprehensive impact."
She really cared for Caiden. I'd been forced to leave my family, but I knew they would be taken care of. She'd left the love of her life to stay by his side without knowing she would be okay.
"Alia, I don't know—"
"If you really care for him, Willow," Alia said, interrupting me, "help me choose the right bride for him. I once considered Arisu because she's strong, but she won't make him happy. Not the way I know that Piper will."
A sharp pain shot through me, and I looked up to meet her eyes again. She wanted him to choose Piper.
"Piper has the spirit to serve Heliac and the heart to support Caiden in every way he deserves. You're Piper's best friend, so I know you'll do anything to make her happy."
I nodded, feeling tears stinging behind my eyes. The way Piper had talked about Caiden this morning had confirmed everything I believed she was. She would make him happy, and Heliac would be lucky to have her as their queen.
"Caiden informed me that the third trial will be announced in a few days. It will be a race between the elements to eliminate all but four suitors. Beat Haylee and make sure Piper wins her race. Then we'll withdraw when it's just the three of us."