"Fuck these onions for making me cry, tita!" I said exaggeratedly while blinking my eyes.
I heard her laugh. My eyes are still close. Nandito kami sa kusina ngayon at nagpapaturo ako kay Tita Meryll magluto. I said it's for her son. Hindi pa nila alam na kami na. I also don't know if they are aware that Cai and I are sleeping in the same bed.
Masyado kasi silang busy at minsan na lang talaga kami magkita rito sa bahay, tuwing umaga na lang at hindi pa gaano nakakapag-usap dahil nagmamadali sa pagpasok sa trabaho.
We're planning to inform them about our relationship in Cai's birthday. As per his brothers, I don't know if they know about it, too. Gusto lang namin maging official na rin sa kanila para in case na makita man nila kaming sweet kung saan-saan, hindi na sila magtataka.
"I told you, you could've ordered someone to cook for Cai then bring it to him. Pinahihirapan mo pa sarili mo," ani tita.
"Pero gusto ko ako magluluto, tita. Minsan na nga lang mag-effort, e."
Inayos ko na ang mga sangkap at hinanda na ang kawali. I'll cook adobo. Sa tingin ko kasi madali lang naman siya. Mag-uumpisa muna sa mga madadaling lutuin para matuto ako. Dapat wife material na ako bago niya ako maging wife.
"My son is too lucky to have you . . ." she said while she watched me put the onions on the hot oil. "And I am very thankful that you're still not giving up on him even if he's been so rude towards you."
"I love him, tita."
"You do. I can see it."
I sighed. Gusto ko nang sabihin kay tita but I also promised to Cai that we will say it together.
Nilagay ko na ang baboy katulad nang sinabi niya kanina at hinayaan na munang magisa.
I sat on the stool bar beside her. We're silent for a few minutes but I don't feel any awkwardness with her. In fact, it feels comforting to be beside the mother of the man I love. I'm also thankful to be accepted by her, that she likes me for her son.
"What about your friend Kylei? Jai often tells me about her. Mukhang patay na patay ang anak ko sa kaniya. Well, I can't blame him. Kylei is really pretty. Bold and looking fearless. Mukha ring mabait. Jai also told me that she's smart. That's the kind of girl I like for my three sons."
"So, why do you like me, tita? Why me if I don't have any of that?" I laughed. "Charot lang po! Wala po akong alam tungkol sa kanila but I can see that they're comfortable with each other."
"What about the two that are soon to be married?" she asked, pertaining to Raya and Zairus.
I shrugged. "They're silent po. Kung wala akong alam kina Jai, mas wala akong alam tungkol sa kanila. I don't know if they really want to be married."
"If they don't want it, we're not going to continue it. I don't want to put them in a situation where they're not happy. Puwede naman nila sabihin sa akin na ayaw nila at huwag nang ituloy, what's stopping them?"
"Hindi ko po alam."
She shook her head due to disappointment. Tumayo na lang ako at tiningnan ang niluluto ko. Nilagyan ko na ng ibang sangkap at hinayaan na ulit iyon. Nagkwentuhan pa kami ni tita habang nagluluto ako hanggang sa tulutan na nga 'yong maluto.
She said it was good when she tasted it. That's what I also think but I am not satisfied, kaya naman pinatikim ko sa ibang katulong. Ang sabi nila okay lang naman daw ang lasa.
Pagkatapos kong magluto ay nagpaalam na akong maliligo na. Sa office na lang din ako ni Cai kakain since busog pa naman ako at gusto ko kasabay ko siyang mag-lunch.
Hindi muna ako pumasok kasi gusto kong gawin 'to para sa kaniya. Besides, I'm already done with the gown I made. These past few months, I have drowned myself too much at work. One day of rest wouldn't harm me that much, I guess.
I wore a cream brown balbina blouse and dark brown dress and partnered it with black boots. The color just compliments so it suits. Mukha akong high school student na makikipag-date sa sikat na bad boy ng campus.
I smiled seeing my reflection in the mirror. Ang ganda ko kasi. Kinuha ko na ang sling bag ko at bumaba na saka kinuha ang paper bag kung saan nakalagay ang pagkain namin.
Wala na akong kotse kaya magta-taxi na lang ako. Just when I'm about to step my foot outside, Zai's rushing into his car.
He stopped when he saw me at the gate. "Where are you going?"
"To Cai."
"Sumabay ka na sa 'kin," aniya saka pumasok sa sasakyan niya.
I shrugged. Maybe he's feeling to be kind today kaya gusto niya akong isabay. Nagmadali na ako sa pagsakay sa kotse niya bago pa magbago ang isip niya.
"Your seatbelt," he said before starting the engine.
I immediately buckled it and closed my eyes for a short prayer to have a safe trip. Wala akong tiwala kay Zai. Baka mamaya may balak 'tong ibangga ang kotse niya dahil sakay niya ako.
"Ano'ng gagawin mo ro'n?" tanong niya habang nasa biyahe kami.
"I'll bring him lunch," I answered.
His eyes drew to the paper bag on my lap and simply nodded his head and fell silent. The atmosphere turned awkward. Hindi ko alam kung paanong upo ang gagawin ko dahil hindi ako mapakali. Hindi lang siguro ako sanay na makasama si Zai nang kaming dalawa lang.
"Raya's . . . not answering her phone. She hasn't replied to my messages since yesterday," he then said.
My brows furrowed. I don't know why he's saying this to me. "Why? Did you have an argument?"
He shook his head and sighed. "We're okay. I just don't know why she's not speaking to me."
"Baka busy lang . . ."
"I hope so."
I glimpsed at him and saw how sad he was. Siguro kaya niya ako sinabay kasi nagbabaka sakali siya na alam ko kung bakit. I seriously don't know a thing about them. Very private person silang dalawa at nakakagulat na lang na ganito sila ngayon.
I still remember when Raya said they could be nothing more than friends.
Nakarating na kami sa building nila Cai kaya bumaba na ako. I thanked him and consoled that Raya will reach him soon.
I greeted the guard when he opened the glass door for me. Binabati mo lahat ng nakakasalubong ko. Some of them are confused, baka iniisip kung sino ako. Ang ilan ay ngumiti rin at bumati pabalik.
May tatlong babae at dalawang lalaki akong nakasabay sa elevator. Alam kong masama makinig sa usapan ng iba pero wala naman akong choice dahil maririnig at maririnig ko sila.
"May rumor daw na may girlfriend na si Sir Cairus. Nakita raw siya sa Tagaytay na may kasamang girl. Hindi lang nakita kung sino kasi nakatalikod daw," sabi ng isa.
Funny they don't know I'm the girl they're talking about.
"Mukha nga raw maganda kasi likod pa lang kabog na."
I tried to hide my smile. Eh, hindi nga ako gaanong nakapag-ayos no'ng araw na 'yon dahil hindi ko naman alam na may date pala kami.
"Eh, si Lheen? Balita ko may manliligaw raw dito 'yon, ah? Palaging may nag-iiwan ng flowers sa office niya," sabi naman no'ng pinakamaliit pero may pinakamatinis na boses.
Tsk! Marinig ko pa lang pangalan noong babaeng 'yon, kumukulo na dugo ko kahit wala naman siyang ginagawa sa akin. Nakakaimbyerna!
"Blooming nga 'yon, mamsh!" sabi naman noong chubby.
"Umiral na naman pagiging Marites ng 'tong tatlong 'to!" natatawang sabi no'ng matangkad na lalaki.
"Hindi naman sa pinag-o-overthink ko kayo . . . what if si Lheen talaga ang girlfriend ni sir," si maliit.
I let out a deep breath. Napatingin silang lahat sa akin. Bakit kasi ang bagal ng elevator na 'to? Noong una, okay pa usapan nila, e. Noong siningit nila 'yong mukhang singit na Lheen na 'yon, bumaho sa loob ng elevator.
"Hi, ma'am!" bati noong isang lalaki na tahimik lang kanina at nakikinig sa kanila. "Kaibigan po kayo ni Sir Cai, 'di ba?"
Correction, girlfriend.
I smiled at him and nodded.
"Naku! Pagpasensyahan n'yo na po 'yong mga narinig n'yo. Baka makaabot pa kay sir at isipin niyang pinagtsitsismisan namin siya."
I looked at the others. Mga nakayuko na at nahihiyang tumingin sa akin.
I laughed awkwardly. "Wala 'yon. Hindi ko naman sasabihin sa kaniya."
The elevator stopped and opened. Nagpaalam sila sa akin na roon na sila bababa kaya tumango na lang ako habang hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti sa labi.
Nang mag-isa na lang ako, hindi ko tuloy naiwasang mag-overthink. Paano kung si Cai nagbibigay ng flowers sa demonyitang 'yon?
But nah! I know Cai won't do that. His types aren't that kind of . . . low.
As soon as I got to his floor, I stepped out, turning my chin up with confidence. Unlike the other floors, tahimik dito. Office niya lang naman at kay Lheen-ta ang nandito.
Without knocking, which I know is kind of rude, I opened the door of his office. Imbis na siya ang masurpresa sa pagdating ko, ako pa ang nasorpresa sa nakita ko.
Lheen, who's leaning to the table—which I think is her hobby—she's pointing her fingers at the paper on Cai's table. They both have their smiles. Cai's smile immediately faded when he saw me.
"Love." He stood up.
I sighed. Inalis ko sa kaniya ang tingin ko at binaling kay Lheen na hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti ngayon.
I raised an eyebrow. "Care to leave? His girlfriend is here."
She shrugged and turned to Cai. "Mamaya na lang ulit, sir."
Nilandian niya pa ang pagtawag niya kay Cai. Bumalik ang tingin niya sa akin, may pang-asar na ngiti. I rolled my eyes at her. Wala naman akong pake kahit makita ni Cai.
Nang makalabas siya, roon pa lang ako lumapit sa table ni Cai saka nilapag ang pagkain na dala ko.
"What's that?" he asked carefully.
"Divorce papers, makikipaghiwalay na ako sa 'yo," sarkastiko kong sagot.
"Mil . . ."
"Love!" I corrected him.
"Love . . ."
"Ano?"
"It's nothing," he said and started to get the food.
"Anong nothing? Anong sinasabi mo riyan?"
"What you saw . . . it's nothing."
I rolled my eyes and sat abruptly. "Bakit nag-e-explain ka? Wala naman akong sinasabi tungkol sa nakita ko."
"But I can see in your face that you're irritated." Binuksan niya ang isang lalagyan kung nasaan ang adobo at inamoy 'yon. "You cooked this?"
I didn't answer. Tiningnan ko lang siya. Naiirita pa rin ako dahil sa nakita ko kanina. Lheen always does that. Yuyuko nang sobra sa harap ni Cai para makita ang malusog niyang hinaharap.
Napatingin tuloy ako sa dibdib ko. Hindi malaki pero hindi rin naman maliit, sakto lang. Ano naman kung maliit dede? Bawi naman ako sa mukha.
"Mil."
"Love nga, e!" bulyaw ko sa kaniya.
He chuckled. "Okay, love. Come here."
Hindi ko siya sinunod. Mas lalo ko pang sinandal ang likod ko sa upuan sa harap niya. I can see that he's already turning serious. He sighed.
"Please . . ." he begged.
Bumuntonghininga ako. Marupok talaga ako pagdating sa kaniya kaya tumayo ako at lumapit na sa kaniya. Nakatayo lang ako sa harap niya habang siya'y nakaupo.
He hugged my waist, his head resting on my tummy. "It's really nothing, Mil. If you're jealous, I'm sorry. I can find another secretary if you don't want her."
I quickly shook my head and looked into his eyes. "Hindi naman kailangan. Hindi mo lang talaga maaalis sa akin na magselos kasi . . . alam ko naman at nakikita kong may gusto si Lheen sa 'yo. Pero hindi naman ako gano'n kababaw na papayag akong tanggalin mo siya sa trabaho dahil lang sa nagseselos ako."
"But your feelings are important to me, love. It's valid. If you don't want her around me, then be it. I won't do anything that might hurt you. Puwede ko siyang palitan pero hindi ko naman siya aalisin."
I sighed. "Huwag na . . . ayos lang. Sobrang babaw ko lang siguro. Alam ko namang hindi mo rin gagawin kung ano ang kinatatakot ko. Hindi mo naman ako lolokohin, 'di ba?"
Tumingin siya nang diretso sa mata ko. Hinila niya ako kaya napaupo ako sa hita niya. Pinatakan niya ng isang halik ang labi ko.
"There's no way I'll cheat on you, babe."
Nagsalubong ang kilay ko. "Sino si babe?"
He chuckled softly and pinched my nose. "Of course, it's you. No one else."
"Subukan mo lang talagang mambabae, puputulin ko 'yang hotdog mo," sabi ko saka natawa.
Naitulak niya tuloy ako nang bahagya dahil sa biro ko. Buti na lang hindi ako nalaglag. Sarap niya tuloy yakapin sa leeg hanggang sa malagutan ng hininga.
"We will still make a basketball team. Why would you cut my . . . " he trailed off which made me laugh more.
"Kapag nga nagloko ka, e!"
"I won't." He planted another kiss on my lips. "But for now, let's eat. Bago pa ikaw ang . . ."
"Ako ang ano?"
"Let's just eat. Leave my lap because you're making me . . ."
"Ano?"
"Hard."