As soon as Lexi had left the apartment after the impromptu and emotional talk, Cassie disappeared into her bedroom and collapsed on top of her bed. Her fingers shook as she grabbed her phone and dialled Dr. Rich. Mariana hadn't even bothered to follow her in, much to Cassie's relief. She desperately needed to be alone to process the emotional conversation she had just had with Lexi.
Please pick up, please pick up, Cassie repeated to herself in her head.
"Hello?" Dr. Rich answered on the third ring.
"Dr. Rich, it's me...Cassie," Cassie said in between her tears. They continued to stream down her cheeks at a consistent rate.
"I figured as much. What's wrong?"
"I...I just apologized to Lexi."
"Oh, good. How did it go?"
"Uh...is it okay if I just recap the whole thing? Sorry, I know you're busy, so this can wait if need be."
"No, you caught me getting organized in between therapy sessions. Tell me as much as you wish."
Cassie proceeded to give a play-by-play breakdown of the heart-to-heart that Mariana had facilitated between her and Lexi. She became even more upset and teary as she recalled how upset Lexi had become during their emotional conversation, as well as the fact that she wasn't able to forgive Cassie just yet.
That last part didn't upset Cassie, as she had expected it going into their tense conversation. What had gotten her all worked up was the fact the conversation had happened in the first place. She had become so stressed out from the possibility of it taking place that it was finally coming out in the form of sobs. It had worked her up into an emotional tizzy, the put it mildly. She was also relieved that Lexi had listened to her in the first place, rather than walk out without attempting to hear her out whatsoever. It had meant the world to Cassie that Lexi gave her the chance to say her piece in the first place.
"I'm so glad that it finally happened," she croaked out after she finished explaining everything.
"Well, I'm very proud of you, Cassie," Dr. Rich boasted in a cheerful voice. "It sounds as though it was a very productive conversation for the both of you."
A fresh batch of tears started to spill, much to Cassie's dismay. She couldn't help it; she couldn't recall a time that even her mother had said such a thing— or any other female figure in her life, for that matter. While Dr. Rich wasn't her mother, she was the strong adult female figure that she had been missing her entire life. So, to hear her say that meant the world to Cassie.
"Thank you," she muttered.
"You sound really upset about what happened. Are you okay?" Dr. Rich asked.
"I...I don't know," Cassie answered with an exhausted laugh. "I feel good and shitty about it at the same time, I guess. I feel good 'cause I finally apologized to Lexi. But I also feel shitty 'cause I wished I'd never done all those awful things to her in the first place."
"I understand, but it's time to let go of the past," Dr. Rich said. "Moving forward is the only way to move on."
Cassie sighed, knowing full well that her therapist was right. "I'll try. It won't be easy, but I'll try my best."
"It'll be worth it, I promise," Dr. Rich replied.
The phone call lasted for a few more minutes before Dr. Rich had to leave to finish preparing for her next session. Cassie hung up before curling up into a ball on her bed once again. Sobs continued to leave her body, making her shake violently.
She heard her bedroom door open and then close a few moments later. Knowing exactly who it was, she didn't even bother looking up from her pillow.
"Cassie, I...I don't know what to say," Mariana admitted.
Cassie wiped her tears away and sat up on her bed. "I'm upset over everything I did to Lexi. I wish I'd never done any of it."
Mariana nodded. "I know. You did the right thing by apologizing."
"I'm glad that I finally did that 'cause it was so long overdue. But I still feel like shit."
"And that's okay."
Cassie hugged her best friend tightly, grateful to have someone to comfort her right this moment.
***
Lexi: Hey, are you home right now?
Isaac: I am. The guys are out too.
Lexi: Can I please come over?
Isaac: Of course!
Lexi walked over to her boyfriend's apartment in a baffled daze. Her mind was still reeling from Cassie's tearful apology as she continued to process their entire conversation. She made it to her destination a minute or so later and knocked on the door.
"Hey, what's up? Isaac asked as he let her inside.
Lexi took her coat and boots off before speaking. "Cassie apologized to me for everything she put me through."
Isaac's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"
"Yeah, exactly. I can't fucking believe it," Lexi said slowly. "I never thought I'd see the day where she'd take responsibility for her actions."
"Neither did I, to be honest," Isaac admitted as the couple sat on the living room couch. "Are you okay?"
"I'm not as angry or upset as I thought I'd be," Lexi revealed with a surprised laugh. "I'm more shocked than anything else, to be honest. And it felt nice to hear Cassie apologize. She was crying and going on about how awful she felt for everything she's said and done to me. She explained everything to me so thoroughly."
Isaac nodded as he gingerly placed a hand on her thigh. "Do you forgive her?"
"No, not at all."
"I figured as much."
"I'm still too hurt by what all she's done to me over the years," Lexi explained. "I can't forgive or forget her for everything she's put me through. I also want some time to process everything she said to me today. It's gonna take a lot of time before I can even think about the idea of forgiving Cassie, let alone actually doing it."
"Makes sense," Isaac said.
Lexi hung out with Isaac for a little while longer before she left. DeShawn had arrived home by that point, and she didn't want to intrude on him in his apartment. She walked home to her apartment to find Nikita munching on some barbeque-flavured potato chips in the kitchen. Felipe wasn't around, much to Lexi's relief.
"Oh, hey," she greeted as she continued eating. "Where'd you go? I thought you were coming straight home."
"That was the original plan," Lexi replied with a bewildered laugh. "But I noticed that Mariana had left her scarf behind at The Bean's Knees when I came out of the bathroom. I walked over to her place to return it 'cause why not? And right when I was about to leave to head home, Cassie showed up."
Nikita's blue-grey eyes widened. "Shut the fuck up!"
Lexi cackled with an amused smirk on her face. "Yep. She convinced me to hear her out, and I only agreed 'cause Mariana offered to mediate our conversation. Otherwise, I never would've agreed to it in the first place."
"What all did Cassie have to say?" Nikita asked, eager with anticipation.
"In short, she apologized for everything."
"What the fuck?"
Lexi snickered before giving a brief synopsis of Cassie's apology. She didn't go into explicit detail because she was still exhausted from the whole exchange. Instead, she gave her best friend bullet points as to what went down between them a few hours ago.
"I had to decompress afterwards, so I went to Isaac's to talk 'cause he was home alone," she said once she finished recounting her emotional talk with Cassie. "He couldn't believe it when I told him what happened. To be honest, I'm still trying to process the fact that Cassie apologized to me, never mind the rest of our conversation. It's...a lot, to say the least."
Nikita nodded. "Jesus fucking Christ, no kidding! Wow."
"I didn't expect it to happen whatsoever," Lexi said. "I just wanted to return Mariana's scarf, that's all."
"And then that happened out of nowhere."
"Yeah, no kidding! I wasn't about to give Cassie the time of day— at first. But she seemed so...I don't know, hopeful? Pleading? Yeah, that sounds about right. It seemed like she really wanted to talk to me. I decided to hear her out, and she apologized."
Nikita shook her head in sheer disbelief. "Wow."
"I should also mention that Cassie told me a lot about her past and said that that's why she had issues with me getting close to Isaac back when they were dating," Lexi went on. "Oh, I nearly forgot— she admitted why she had issues with me from the start. Her exact words were, 'I thought you were a snobby pretty face who thought she was better than me 'cause of your background. You're from Cali, you have loving parents who are well-off...I thought you had it easy. I thought you were a brat, to put it bluntly.'"
"Wait, what in the actual fuck???" Nikita exclaimed, blinking her grey-blue eyes wildly. "But you're not snobby at all!"
"I know, but Cassie thought I was," Lexi said while shaking her head. "I think she just got the wrong idea of me and refused to let go of it once it was inside her head. She never really tried to get to know me."
"That's fucking wild," Nikita remarked, laughing from shock. "I can't believe it. But at least now you know why she had such a problem with you in the first place."
Lexi nodded and sighed, her heart still heavy with a mess of emotions. "It was nice to hear Cassie apologize, but I can't bring myself to accept her apology and forgive her. I told her as much too. I think she expected me to say that though, 'cause she wasn't upset about it at all. She was like, 'I know you're angry at me, and I totally deserve it. But I do hope that one day, you'll be able to forgive me.' So, that was nice to hear."
"When we talked about her last year after she yelled at you at the end-of-semester party, you made it sound like you would never, ever forgive her," Nikita recalled. "Do you still feel that way?"
"Honestly? I don't know," Lexi admitted after taking a moment to ponder her answer. "I told Cassie again how much she hurt me and how she's ruined my time at NYU and that that can't change. But I think Cassie realizes that. She looked so remorseful when she was talking to me— and while it's easy to accuse her of putting on an act, I don't think she's a good enough actress to do such a thing. She looked like a wreck even before our conversation ended."
"Yeah, I don't think Cassie would fake cry," Nikita said. "She's never done that before, as far as I'm aware."
"Cassie's apology made me feel a bit better if I'm being totally honest," Lexi added. "I told her as much too. I think time will tell to see if Cassie continues to be respectful and not hurt me anymore."
"Makes sense," Nikita replied. "I know I promised to help you out if you did end up talking to her. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help out."
Lexi dismissed the notion. "Oh, please don't worry about it. I only went through with it 'cause I was put on the spot so suddenly. But honestly, I'm glad we chatted so that I don't have to keep wondering what Cassie wanted to talk to me about. That mystery has been finally put to bed, thank God."
Nikita smiled softly. "I understand, Lexi. I'm glad the whole thing went well between you two."
"Believe me, so do I," Lexi said while returning a kind smile of her own.