SHAWN AXCEL'S POV
"Alam nang lahat na hindi ka naniniwala sa tadhana. In all of your interviews, you always say that you would never ever fall in love. Ibig bang sabihin no'n binabawi mo na ang sinabi mo? If that's the matter, then it only means that you're not true to your words."
Medyo humigpit ang hawak sa'kin ni Zeriel kaya tiningnan ko siya. She's looking everywhere to avoid everyone's eyes but when she felt that I was staring at her, she turned her gaze on me. Kinakabahan pa rin ata siya.
I slowly pressed her palm and smiled."I'm not going back on my words. Totoo naman sinabi kong hinding hindi ako mahuhulog sa isang babae pero hindi ko naman literally na sinabi ang dahilan. The reason why I said that I would never ever fall in love to someone was because I'm still getting myself ready when I finally found the one. Hindi naman halata kase nambababae pa rin ako noon pero alam ko sa sarili kong kapag nahanap ko na ang babaeng para sa'kin, doon na ako titigil. And now that I've found her, I'm going to fulfill the promise that I made to myself."
"Ni minsan ba tinulak ka niya palayo no'ng nagtapat ka ng pag-ibig mo sa kanya? What was your reaction?"
"She did..for countless times. My reaction that time, I was afraid to commit in the first place. Takot akong ma-reject no'n eh. Imagine the embarrassment that I'll get and the disappointment on myself. Although, I risked the little closure that we had to confess my feelings for her. Hindi nga ako makapaniwalang ni-reject niya ako nang paulit-ulit pero nakuha ko pa ring lumapit sa kanya. Ayoko mang aminin pero nasaktan talaga ang ego ko no'n." Napatawa ako nang mahina pagkatapos kong sabihin 'yon in public.
That was supposed to be a secret on my own. Pero ayoko namang ikahiya ang mga bagay na ginawa ko para sa kanya. I suddenly become boastful. Gusto kong ipagmayabang sa lahat kung paano ko siya nakuha at kung paano kami nakarating dito.
The host laughed."Kamusta naman ang puso mo no'ng time na 'yon? Did you get hurt during those times that she let you feel useless and worthless? Kase sa tingin ko takot din siyang mag-commit no'n sa feelings niya."
"Masakit 'yon, syempre. I almost got insane when she avoided me like I did not exist at all. Wasak ako no'n pero dinaan ko lang sa inuman at nagbabakasakaling makalimutan ko siya. I even reached to the point that I thought she's not really the girlf for me. Kase sobra naman ata 'yong sakit pero pilit ko pa ring kinakaya. Mahal ko na pala siya no'ng mga oras na 'yon."
The crowd went wild again. Si Zeriel napasapo sa noo niya dahil siguro nahihiya na naman siya. Is she feeling shy because we're in front of the camera or she was hit by my sudden confession. Eto rin 'yong dahilan kung bakit gusto kong sumama sa interview na 'to. It's not just her side, it includes mine too.
"What did you do to make her confess her feelings for you? Did you asked her directly or she did it unexpectedly?"
I cleared my throat to get her attention. Agad naman siyang lumingon at tinaasan ako ng kilay. Seems like she doesn't care if we're in the TV screen right now. Kahit naman ipakita niya ang totoong ugali niya rito at mainis siya sa mga sasabihin ko, wala naman akong pakialam. It would be better because she's showing her real attitude to everyone, even at me. Na iisipin nilang kahit ganyan siya, kaya kong tanggapin ng buong buo ang pagkatao niya.
"Ayusin mo kung hindi tatamaan ka sa'kin," she whispered while glaring at me.
I just chuckled and licked my lower lip."Well, konti lang ang ibubulgar ko. I don't want her to kick my ass in front of the came---Ouch! Fine, sorry!"
Naputol ang sasabihin ko pagkatapos niyang pingutin ang tenga ko. I could hear their laughs coming from outside that's why I gave her a cute look. Inirapan niya lang ako at winaksi ang kamay ko. See? Ganito siya ka pikunin.
"Enough with it, lovebirds. We're still waiting for your answer, Mr. Shael." Pati ang host hindi na napigilan ang tawa niya.
Grabe. Feeling ko tuloy nandito ako para i-bully nilang lahat.
"Okay, eto na. Story time na ulit." Tumawa pa ako kaya pati sila nadala."I confronted her when I was really confused on her actions. Sinabi ko sa kanya ng diretsahan. If she likes me back or not. Ayaw niya sana aminin kaso ginamit ko ang moves kong pangmalakasan sa kanya. Hindi man naging madali pero at least napaamin ko siya. That time was when I started hoping again. Hindi ko na inisip pa kung anong gagawin ko at kung paano.. What am I thinking was the chance she gave me. She may not be ready but I said I can wait..and I waited."
"What happened after days or a week? Niligawan mo ba siya agad? Hindi ka ba napagod kakahintay sa totoo lang?"
I shook my head in response."Sa bawat araw na nagdaan, parang hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na magkasama kami ng ilang beses sa isang araw. We eat together and I'll cook for her. Sometimes, she will do the same and says it was because of her conscience but I know there's a different meaning behind it. We also study together. Minsan nagsta-stay ako sa condo niya para bumisita saglit at sabay kaming nagre-review. That was our routine. Hindi ko alam kung panliligaw na ba 'yon o ano kase wala talaga akong alam do'n. Pero hindi nagtagal, nagkaproblema siya. Sa bawat labas niya ng sakit, nando'n ako. I became her pillow to cry on, a shelter to protect her, and a person she could lean on. Hindi ko siya iniwanan ni isang beses habang pasan niya ang lahat-lahat. Instead, I helped her go through all of it because I don't want her to feel alone again."
Natahimik silang lahat..lalo na siya. She was just staring intently at me. Not blinking nor saying anything. Muli kong hinawakan ang kamay niya at ngumiti. 'Yong sinabi ko ngayon ngayon lang, hindi niya pa 'yon narinig kaya masaya akong nandito kase nailabas ko ang mga bagay na gusto kong sabihin sa kanya.
"Wow! T-That was so nice of you. Kahit sinong nandito hindi aakalaing gagawin mo ang lahat para sa isang babaeng hirap mong maabot. Pero ngayong nakuha mo na ang gusto mo, what's the feeling of it? "
I held her hand tightly, looking at her eyes intently."My happiness goes beyond the sky and underneath the ground. Sa lahat ng sakripisyong itinaya ko, masasabi kong hindi 'yon nasayang. It was all worth it. I might get hurt again but I will be okay as long as she'll stay with me."
"One last question for you. Anong mensahe ang nais mong iparating sa mga taong kagaya mo na hindi pa nahahanap ang babaeng para sa kanila?"
Sana pala nagdala ako ng script para sa tanong na 'to. May additional pa eh. Gagawin siguro nilang inspiration ang love story ko.
I did not take off my eyes from her and so as she."Mag-enjoy na muna kayo sa buhay niyo habang hindi pa dumarating ang babaeng para sa inyo. Because once that she'll appear on your sight, you will be locked onto her whatever you do. Alam niyo naman sigurong walang makakatalo sa sumpa ng pag-ibig, hindi ba? And as for me, I've already found the only girl that will break my cassanova heart."
Napuno ng hiyawan ang nasa labas at 'yong iba ay nagwawala pa. The people outside were increasing, the others were probably from outside the studio. May TV naman siguro sa labas, bakit pumasok pa sila para lang makipagsiksikan?
"One last question for you, Ms. Zeriel. Do you love him that much? Hanggang saan aabot ang pagmamahal mo para sa kanya?"
Ako rin, gusto kong marinig ang sagot niya nang harap-harapan. 'Yong hindi siya nahihiya sa'kin na sabihin ang mga katagang nais kong marinig mula sa kanya. Naipangalandakan ko na siya sa lahat at gusto kong malaman kung ganoon din ba siya ka-proud na ako ang boyfriend niya.
"Yes, I do love him. It was immeasurable. Nothing could explain how grateful I am for having him in my life. He's the one I never dreamed of having. Akala ko kase ako na lang talaga mag-isa eh. That no one could accept who I really am. Every guy dislikes my attitude but he loved everything on me. So as long as he'll stay with me, I'll stay with him too." The most unexpected thing was, she smiled in front of them. A real smile.
Pagkatapos niyang ngumiti sa lahat at binaling niya ang tingin sa'kin, hindi pa rin tinatanggal ang ngiti niya. She intertwined our fingers together and showed it to everyone like she's proud of it. While me, I was still speechless. I don't know what to say or maybe I should say thank you for not denying her feelings for me.
And to show her my love around the world, I pulled her for a passionate kiss that will surely awaken the whole living species in the world. Wala na akong pakialam sa mga nakapaligid sa'kin. Ang naririnig ko lang ang ang lakas ng tibok ng puso naming dalawa. Its just her and me.
Natapos na ang interview namin dahil sa halik na 'yon. Masyado na ata kaming PDA kaya hindi na nila nakayanan at hanggang do'n na lang daw 'yon. Zeriel couldn't even face the people outside who were waiting for us to come out of the studio. Ang higpit nang kapit niya sa'kin na para bang ayaw niyang mauna ako sa kanya.
"You shouldn't have done that! Tama na siguro 'yong sinabi natin sa kanila ang totoo. Nakita 'yon ng lahat!" she complained when we got inside her car.
Nag-taxi lang ako papunta rito dahil alam kong dala niya ang sasakyan niya. I'm riding on her car because we're free to have a date. Pwede na siguro kaming lumabas nang walang iniisip na kahit ano.
I smirked."Mine, okay na rin 'yon. Why are you still worrying about that? A kiss in public won't do anything."
"Anong won't do anything?! Sha---"
"Call me by our endearment, mine. Hindi ako kikibo kapag tinawag mo'ko sa pangalan ko." I crossed my arms over my chest, pretending to be sulking.
Bigla niya namang hinila ang damit ko kaya napasubsob ako sa leeg niya. Damn. She smells apple mint. Parang gusto ko tuloy siyang kagatin. Shit. What am I even thinking?!
"M-Mine..Si dad, baka napanood niya 'yong kanina. He's trying to protect me from you. Kahapon pa lang siya pumayag sa'ting dalawa tapos hinalikan mo ako sa harap ng camera ngayon lang. I was thinking that he might be freaking out right now!" She sounded like scolding me.
Naalala ko tuloy ang mukha ng daddy niya no'ng tutol siya sa'ming dalawa ni Zeriel. He's goddamn scary! Gago, pa'no kung hindi niya ako papasukin sa pamamahay nila dahil sa kalapastangang ginawa ko sa anak niya?
I gulped, trying to hide my nervousness."H-Hindi niya naman siguro ako bububugin. You're my girlfriend. Its just normal to kiss you."
"Yeah..in public. Expect dad's angry reaction if he sees you. Alam mo namang OA pa siya kay mom." She glared at me.
"I can explain, mine. Basta ba nasa tabi lang kita kapag nagpaliwanag ako. I'm complacent that he won't beat me up because he knows that you love me. Ipaglalaban ko ang pagmamahalan nating dalawa."
She winced on the last words that I've said, looking so disgusted. Pero kalaunan ay tumawa rin siya at napailing na lang. We decided to stopped by in an unfamiliar restaurant where people barely eat during lunch time. Pwede naman na kaming magpakita sa iba pero kakatapos lang ng interview kaya iwas muna kami sa paparazzis ngayon araw. Kailangan din naming magpahinga, syempre.
"Mine, bakit hindi ka pa kumakain? Aren't you hungry?" I asked her when I noticed that she's staring at her phone.
She looked at me and hesitated to talk."Its Lyndon..He wants to talk to me about some matter. And I'm asking for your opinion."
ZEKIAH XYRIEL'S POV
Tinitigan ko siyang maigi, tinatantya ang reaksyon niya. He's not looking mad but he's not happy either. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung anong iniisip niya ngayon. He knows Shael, my ex boyfriend. And now I'm letting him know that he wants to see me for a good talk. Papayag kaya siya?
"M-Mine..Is that okay with you? Usap lang naman," sabi ko pa.
He sighed and put down his utensils."Aaminin ko na hindi ako kumbinsido sa usapan niyong 'yan. I mean--I trust you but I don't think I could trust him. Lalaki rin ako at alam ko kung anong takbo ng utak nila. What if---"
"Mine, calm down. You're overthinking again. Tinatanong lang naman kita kung pupunta ba ako o hindi. And duh? If you'll say no then I won't. But if you'll agree, you can come with me to ease your suspicions," I cut off his words.
I can understand him if he's hesitating to let me go. Natural lang naman 'yon kase boyfriend ko siya. And he can come if he want to. Hindi ko siya pagbabawalan do'n.
He looked at me surprisingly."You sure? Papayagan mo akong sumama sa inyo?"
"Yeah. But you'll stay outside the restaurant. Hindi ka makikinig sa pag-uusapan namin."
Bumagsak ang magkabilang balikat niya at nagsimulang kumain nang walang imik. Is he sulking again? I tried to reach out his hand while eating but he did not hold my hand back. Okay. Nagtatampo nga talaga siya.
"Come on!" I get his attention and leaned on my chair."Why are you sulking over that thing?! Hindi pa ba sapat sa'yo na isasama kita?"
"Eh kase pa'no kung nagtapat siya sa'yo? Sabihin niyang ikaw pa rin talaga ang mahal niya. Aagawin ka niya sa'kin!" He grimaced with his brows creased.
Hindi ko mapigilang hindi matawa sa sinabi niya."Silly. He's so in love with Sophie. Hindi sila magtatagal kung hindi nila mahal ang isa't isa. Stop thinking like that. Its useless."
"How could it be useless?" He's still pouting.
I gave him a glamorous smile."Because I wouldn't feel any such affection towards him just like how I feel when I'm with you."
He bit the insides of his cheeks and looked away. He's damn blushing. Para siyang ewan na kinikilig sa simpleng salitang binitawan ko.
"Pinapakilig mo na naman ako eh. Gusto kong sa akin ka lang ganito. You're only mine."
I told Lyndon through DM that I'm bringing Shael with me. Wala naman siyang reklamo na kahit ano dahil mag-uusap lang naman daw kami. I don't know what he's up to. But maybe its all about what he's gonna tell me before. 'Yong hindi niya nasabi kase nagmamadali akong umalis.
"You'll wait here outside. You can't see us from here because he paid a private room for us. Baka kase makita kami ng iba, saglit lang din naman."
I saw how his reaction changes and his face darkened."Ano? Akala ko makikita ko kayo mula dito sa kinatatayuan ko. Mine---"
"Do you trust me? If you really do, you'll let me go," I cut off his words again.
He signed heavily and looked up."Fine. I trust you mine. Hihintayin kita dito. Better make it up for half an hour."
"Okay. I'll be back."
When I get inside the restaurant, I glanced at him and smiled before heading to the private room where Lyndon was waiting. Nang makita niya ako ay tumayo kaagad para salubungin ako pero nilagpasan ko siya at dumeretso sa upuan ko. He looked a bit disappointment because of what I did but he still managed to smile and sat back in front of me.
"I told my boyfriend to wait for me outside and he gave me half an hour to talk to you," I informed him.
He slightly nodded."Okay. Hindi ko rin naman 'to patatagalin pa. I just want to apologize for everything that I did..and in behalf of Sophie's too."
"Why are you apologizing for her? It will just turn out that she's not sincere for not telling it by herself. Sabihin mo ang gusto mong sabihin pero 'wag na 'wag kang hihingi ng tawad sa lahat ng ginawa ni Sophie sa'kin. Hindi ikaw ang gumawa no'n kundi siya. And I don't care if we'll remain as what we are right now. Nagsimula na rin naman kaming ganito kay bakit hindi namin tapusin sa ganito?" I said sarcastically.
I hate how he defended Sophie from me. Tinatakpan niya ang mga pagkakamaling ginawa ng girlfriend niya at nagso-sorry siya para sa kanya. I can't accept it! It's wrong to cover up someone's mistake just because you don't want that person to pay for it. Ganon yata ang gusto niyang gawin.
He swallowed hard, finding words to say."Nagsisisi ako sa lahat. I know that it all started because of me. Kung hindi kita niloko ang sinabi ko agad sa'yo ang totoo habang maaga pa, hindi ka sana nasaktan ng sobra noon. I also knew that Sophie was betraying you but I did not tell you that. Kase akala ko malalaman mo rin kaagad. Little did I know, you're too transparent way back then so you easily broke when you find it out by yourself."
"Galit na galit ako sa'yo noon—sa inyo. Kase sobrang selfish niyo." I don't know how to start it so I burst out what I'm feeling."Pero hindi ko kailanman pinagsisihan na sinaktan niyo 'kong lahat. Because of that, I learned to be independent and stand on my own. Minulat ko ang mga mata ko sa lahat at pinili ang mga taong totoong mapagkakatiwalaan ko. I'm not scared of anything now. And tanging kinatatakutan ko lang na mangyari ay ang mawala ang mahahalagang tao sa buhay ko. Aside from that, there's no more."
"I know. That's why I also came here to say that I'm proud of you. Alam ko na noon pa lang na magbabago ka at malayo ang mararating mo. And I knew it right. You're a successful model now," he complemented me.
Alam ko 'yon, lahat naman ng tao gano'n ang sinasabi sa'kin. Kesyo proud daw sila sa mga narating ko kahit na nag-aaral pa lang ako. And I felt relieved that I've made him proud of me. 'Yon din naman ang pinaka-unang naging dahilan ko noon kaya ginusto kong mag-model. To prove to them that I can do better, that I will success without their help. Na ipamukha sa kanila ang taong sinayang nila.
And this is me, looked up by everyone just like what I've wanted. Admired by those people who underestimated my skills. Niluluhuran pa nga nila ako kahit na hindi naman ako santo.
"Kahit papaano, gusto kong magpasalamat sa lahat nang ginawa niyo sa'kin. If not because of you and Sophie, I won't get stronger like this. Ginawa ko ang lahat para lang may maipamukha ako sa inyong dalawa. I'm that desperate to reach on top so no one couldn't beat me anymore. Kahit na marami pang galit sa'kin, mapatunayan ko lang na magaling ako sapat na 'yon." I sighed and gave him a half-smile."Because of you two, I was afraid to trust and love again. But when I met Shael and those people around him, everything changed that fast. I learned how to love again, he taught me how to. Hindi niya ako pinagsawaan at pinatunayan niya sa'kin kung gaano niya ako kamahal. And thank you for that too. Kase kung hindi niyo ako sinaktan, hindi ko rin siya makikilala. I don't have hard feelings now. We can be in good terms but not for now. Ayoko munang makita kayo pagkatapos nito."
He went silent for a minute but eventually smiled."I understand. Thank you for understanding. Kahit alam kong nakaraan na 'yon, nangyari pa rin at hindi mo na makakalimutan. And as for Sophie, I know she felt guilty about that before. Hindi niya lang masabi sa'yo kase may galit na kayo sa isa't isa. I'm sure that two can talk sooner if you're both ready for it."
Tumango na lang ako at tumayo na. Tama siya. Its still hard for me to forgive them. Pero ginawa ko dahil 'yon ang sa tingin ko tamang gawin. I'm starting my new life now so I should begin with this. Hinding hindi ako makakapagsimula kapag may galit pa rin na natitira sa puso ko.
Si Sophie may konti pa rin akong pagkamuhi sa kanya. Hanggang hindi pa kami nakakapag-usap at nagkakamabutihan, I can't say that we're okay. Hihintayin ko na lang muna ang araw na handa na kami pareho saka namin 'yon sisimulan.
"How's your talk? Umiyak ba siya sa harapan mo o ano?" He was too curious when I came out of the restaurant.
My brows frowned while looking at him."Why would he cry? Hindi ko naman siya pinagsalitaan nang masama o inaway man lang. What makes you think that way?"
"Wag na nga lang. Nagtatanong lang naman eh."
Gusto sana naming dumeretso sa condo namin pagkatapos pero tinawagan ako ni dad na sa bahay na raw muna ako. He invited us both for dinner. At eto ngayon si Shael, hindi mapakali dahil nga kakaharapin niya na naman si dad. I always let him remind about the kiss so he's definitely sweating in fear. Lakas pa ng loob niya kanina tapos manginginig din pala.
"Mine, come on. Don't get away from me. Baka pagbalik mo pira-piraso na ang katawan ko."
Gosh! He's really overreacting!
I simply rolled my eyes at him."The more you act like that in front of him, the more he will scare you. Can you please calm down?!"
"Oo na pero amputa! Hindi talaga ako mapakali. Hawakan mong kamay ko. Sige na."
Napairap ako ulit dahil alam ko namang sinadya niya. Pinagbigyan ko lang hanggang sa makapasok kami sa bahay. Nalaman kaagad ni mommy na nakapasok na kami kaya siya ang sumalubong sa'min. She smiled at the both of us and so as we.
"Napanood namin kanina ang interview niyo sa TV," sambit pa niya kasabay ng paglabas ni daddy galing sa kitchen.
He's wearing his serious look, as always."Yeah. And we also witnessed that kissing scene before the interview ends. Kasama ba 'yon a script?"
"Dad! That's unscripted!" saway ko naman sa kanya.
"Sabi ko na nga ba at hahantong sa ganito," Shael murmured.
Dad raised a brow at him."Did you say something, young man?"
Napalunok naman kaagad siya."N-Nothing, Sir. Nagdadasal lang ako."
"Na ano?!" Mas lalong naging strikto ang boses ni dad.
He looked at me first before answering."That you will give me the permission to kiss your daughter anytime."
Dahil sa inis ni dad, muntikan niya nang hablutin si Shael kung hindi lang kami umatras at hindi pumagitna si mom. Oh my God! Bakit ba naging ganito?! They were both stressing me out!
"Ang lakas naman ng loob mong sabihin 'yan sa harapan ko! Hindi mo ba pinapanindigan ang mga patakarang sinabi ko sa'yo?!" Dad hissed.
Mom glared at him."Hon! Wala kang sinabing gano'n sa rules na binigay mo. He take note of it. Kumalma ka nga!"
"P-Pasensya na. Nadala lang kase ako eh, hindi ko napigilan. Her lips were tempting me--"
"Mine! Stop it!" I also throwed him a death glare.
Dad couldn't believe what he'd said and showed Shael his fists."Gusto mong matikman nag kamao kong lalaki ka, ha?! Halika dito!"
"Wow! What a great scenario! Gandang bungad naman niyan." We all stopped by Scarlet's arrival who's clapping her hands.
They all stopped arguing when Scarlet complained that she's hungry. Kumain kaming lahat nang tahimik dahil sabi ko 'yon ang gusto ni Shael. Relihiyoso kase siya masyado. Pero kapag kami lang naman dalawa ang kumakain ang daldal niya. If I know, he's just afraid of dad that's why he's keeping his mouth shut.
"Mine, hindi ba tayo uuwi sa condo? Dito ka talaga matutulog?" Kanina niya pa tinatanong sa'kin 'yan dahil nagdesisyon si dad na dito muna ako patulugin.
And now he's sulking that bad because he can't get a kiss from me before going to sleep. Nakatingin kase sa'min si dad mula sa pintuan habang nag-uusap kami dito sa gate. Dad said I should send him away now. Hindi pa rin sila magkasundo.
I sighed in irritation "Hindi nga sabi! Dad will get mad if---"
Ninakawan niya ako ng halik kaya bago pa man makalapit si dad para bugbugin siya at nakasakay na siya sa kotse niya at paalis na.
"I love you!" pahabol niya pa bago tuluyang nakaalis.
---------------------------------